A Damaged Heart Beneath Stone
by Sofia-Casualty
Summary: Set at present time, following on from Series 31 Episode 24: Slipping Under. Sam and Connie are at odds over Grace and how to handle this unique and delicate situation but a few underlying issues start to arise, causing more turmoil and heartbreak for more than one. [Most characters will be mentioned but the main names are Connie, Grace, Sam, Charlie, Duffy, Jacob and Elle]
1. Chapter 1

*****First time writing a fic for this fandom, I hope people enjoy & please leave reviews!**

 **This fic is set at present time, carrying on from Series 31 Episode 24 'Slipping Under' the characters are not mine and I do not claim that they are. I'm following the current storyline but from here onwards I'm going with the flow.*****

She shivered in the cool breeze, her own arms holding herself tightly in a somewhat comforting grip. She had no idea who she was any more, she said it herself to Charlie and it absolutely terrified her. She was Connie Beauchamp by name but inside she was a swirling mess, balancing so dangerously close to the edge of a breakdown. Her teeth chattered in the bitter cold but she didn't care anymore, she felt numb and hollow.

"Thought you might need this." Charlie's voice reached her ears but failed to register anywhere else. Her black coat lay limp in his hand, realising that she wasn't quite with it he rejoined her on the bench outside like he'd done earlier. He hated seeing her like this, a shell of the feisty clinical lead he'd once known. "You'll catch your death out here, please, put this on." Once again she remained silent, forcing him to drape it around her petite, fragile frame himself. "This isn't your fault, Connie."

"It's all my fault." Her quiet, matter of fact tone took him by surprise. He honestly thought they were going to be sat in silence until it was dark. It wasn't far off that in fact, he hoped to have her back inside by 8pm otherwise he feared she'd be sat here all night.

"You weren't to know things would end up like this." He pulled her close again, rubbing her back as one would a child's. "Jacob's been looking for you, he's worried."

"I don't need him to worry about me."

Charlie remained hushed, he knew Connie and the way she was behaving right now he knew there'd be no point arguing with her. Just like Sam said, she was blinkered almost all of the time making it damn near impossible to get through to her.

"Look, I'm not going to hassle you about it all night. Grace is angry, she's been through severe trauma, as have you in a different way. What I do know is that in there is a little girl who's probably terrified out of her mind and lashing out at people the same way you've been lashing out." He smiled briefly. "She's definitely her Mother's daughter." Noticing Connie's extremely weak and momentary smile he squeezed her tightly. "Come on, I'm freezing out here. I've just got back from Tenerife don't forget!" He laughed and motioned to stand up, she was still in his embrace and followed his lead. "I think we need a cuppa."

Re-entering the hospital she felt like everybody's eyes were pinned on her, which was a great exaggeration as it was a busy night in the ED and everyone was one hundred percent focused on their duties. Charlie ushered her into Elle's (soon to be Connie's) office. Closing the door behind him he lead her to the couch and let her take a seat.

"I'll go grab us both a hot drink and see if I can find out what's going on with Grace. Don't move." He warned kindly as he left her in the silence of her nicely furnished office.

Her head was pounding, from stress perhaps, she was unsure. All she was concentrated on at this moment in time were those 5 words Grace had written for herself and Sam to see. _This is all your fault._

Every time she re-saw it her whole body winced and her eyes stung with sadness. Was it really her fault? And the look Sam gave her, the same look when Grace fell down the stairs as a toddler. Maybe he was right, maybe she wasn't fit to be a mother? Her brain ached with angry thoughts as she began to hug herself again. Self comforting was something she was used to, even from being a child.

"I can't believe you." Her thoughts came to an abrupt halt as she jumped at the sound of his voice, the door flying open quickly.

"Sam-" She began to plead but he'd had enough.

"Our daughter is lying up there unable to walk, unable to talk and no mother in sight. You're unreal! How is it that she's experiencing all of this alone and you still manage to focus on your own bitter, petty wars with other people?" He spat angrily and for the first time their roles were completely and utterly reversed. He was venomously attacking her with words as she sat speechless, her eyes lowered and avoiding his at all cost.

"I don't know what-" Her unusually quaint words were halted once more.

"There you go again." He laughed unhumorously, swiping his hand down his face with exasperation. "It's all me me me with you, isn't it? Hm? How about you forget about yourself and how you're feeling for five minutes, Connie, and do what our daughter needs you to do! Be a Mother, Connie! Be present! Sit by her side, just BE with her! Stop chasing medical staff around the hospital demanding they fix her, stop targeting anyone at all involved and pinning the blame on them! Accept it, it's happened, our daughter is struggling and she needs her parents at her side." His voice softened towards the end, noticing that she wasn't responding. "Just take those bloody blinkers off and support her the way she needs supporting."

"I can't take her home. I can't do it." She stood quickly, her arms still wrapped tightly around herself. The way she edged away from him instilled a feeling of slight guilt within him. Being volatile and loud wasn't his style and making her feel threatened was definitely not his intention but sometimes that was the only way he could get through to her. He noted she wasn't acting herself either, he hadn't received her icy glare or razor sharp comebacks yet and usually they would have been sparring by now but she wasn't indulging.

"You know what? Maybe she should come back with me, I think you need some time to clear your head and get back to reality." He shook his head with annoyance and left her office almost balling Charlie over in the process.

"Woah, watch where you going. I could have scalded myself." He motioned to the two hot takeout cups in his hands.

"Sorry, Charlie." Exhaling shakily he moved to step around the elder nurse but his occupied hand stopped him.

"Can I speak to you, in private?"

Sam knew where this was going but did as Charlie said and headed towards the relatives room down the corridor from Connie's office. Once the door was closed and they were engulfed in silence, Charlie's voice cracked the quiet air sharply. "How long have you known Connie?"

"What?" He squinted with slight confusion, prompting Charlie to repeat his very simple question.

"Connie. How long have you known her?"

"10 maybe 11 years, why?" He took a seat knowing he was in for a long talk, unable to hide his irritation.

"That's a long time." Charlie smiled as he spoke. "And she's always been the same way, right? Stern, cold, hard, some would even say icy."

"Yes, that what we used to call her." Sam looked down, sort of apologetically. "The Ice Queen, Queen of Hearts, Mr Beauchamp, Connie the Barbarian, Ball-breaker..." His voice trailed away before finishing his sentence off. "The list goes on."

"Do you think she's always been like that?" Charlie's question caused Sam's brow to furrow. He was pulling some Charlie Fairhead shit on him, he'd heard about it before and now it was actually happening to him.

"Well, nobody just decides to be like that Charlie. That's just how she is, I know that but that doesn't excuse-"

"That's not where I'm trying to aim this conversation." The older man's voice was so calm, it made Sam sit back further, awaiting the rest of this talk.

"So, what then?"

"Do you imagine a young child acting like this?" Sam shook his head lightly in response to the latest question. "Perhaps a teenager?"

"Maybe, to some degree? Look, Charlie, I don't know where this is going and why it's important but my daughter is upstairs, scared and alone so if you don't mind, I'll be leaving." With one swift movement, Sam was out of the chair and heading towards the door when Charlie's wise and relaxed voice stopped him suddenly.

"Sometimes, the best way to avoid getting hurt or getting your heart broken is to simply pretend you don't have a heart."

Sam was frozen in the doorway, unable to summon up any kind of response.

"She's breaking, Sam. She's hurting and she won't let anyone near enough to help her. You know, I always thought I was normal in the way I perceived people but I instantly connected with Connie whereas everyone else here hasn't been able to get through to her the way I have. I don't know why that is, but I do know she's fragile. This icy persona she's adopted isn't the real Connie. Something's made her this way, forced her to apply her own defence mechanism. She protects herself with that cold, heartless front and it's not working anymore. It's broken and she's scared to death. Don't you ever wonder how she got this way?" Charlie had risen to his feet as he was talking, edging past Sam and through the open door. Turning back to a speechless Sam, he finalised his caring presentation. "Because I know that as soon as I met her that's the first thing I thought, so why does nobody else bother to scratch beneath the surface with her?" He searched Sam's face for an answer but it was crumpled with thought. "Just a thought." He paused. "Anyway, these are getting cold, I'd better get back to her."

 *****It's super, super, super short, I know. I just wanted a short snippet to see how people react to it and whether anyone would be interested in me continuing this fic. Normal chapters will be a lot longer than this one and things will get quite dramatic and chaotic. Please review! :) *****


	2. Chapter 2: Fight

*****Guys, thank you so, so, so much! You have no idea how boosting your reviews were! I'm so glad people seemed to enjoy that first little snippet! Hopefully you'll find this chapter pleasing as well, I won't be updating every day as I do have a busy work schedule :( I love writing though so I'll definitely be continuing. I want to keep the characters as close to their original status as possible so I hope this turns out well! Thanks again for the support and please leave reviews, they help a lot :) Enjoy!*****

Charlie's words wouldn't leave Sam alone over the next few days, it was really starting to annoy him. On top of Grace and her ordeal he felt as though he was now watching over Connie too. Not that she knew that, nor would she want him to be doing that, or did she? He didn't know anymore. Charlie had really messed up his head but he was right. Even after having such small details brought to his attention he was starting to notice that she really wasn't acting herself. The way she held herself, there was just something amiss and if it weren't for Charlie Fairhead he honestly wouldn't have noticed. He'd forgotten the words he'd spoken to Connie after Grace was born and it was about time he started to live by them once more. _I'll always be here for Grace, and you._

Grace had taken another turn for the worse the night Charlie played relationship healer. Fortunately it was nothing serious and she was once again set to be discharged but who she'd be going home with was another question. All these thoughts swirled in his mind as he walked confidently through the Emergency Department.

"Mr Strachan?" Louise's tiny voice managed to wade through the noisy surroundings. "How's Grace doing? We've all been thinking about her, and Mrs Beauchamp." She motioned to Robin, Noel, Max and Elle who were all stood around her, their faces mirroring her worries.

Sam shifted uncomfortably. "She's fine, still not out of the woods but at least she can come home soon." He nodded and smiled, a small way of thanking them for their concern before he headed upstairs to see Grace.

"She's slept up there all night again you know?" It was the wise man, again. God love him. He managed to halt him again at the lift entrance.

"Charlie, I don't know what you want me to do." He breathed the sentence out, at a loss as to what he should say to please Charlie. "She's Connie. She doesn't listen to anyone and she doesn't do as she's told."

"I know." He sighed sympathetically. "I just thought you could give her these at least." He reached out and placed a large blanket and pillow in Sam's arms. "Those chairs aren't even comfortable to look at, never mind sleep on for 3 nights."

"Thanks, I'll...Pass them on." Folding his lips together he rolled the blanket under his arm and entered the lift, his throbbing brain still in overdrive as the doors closed, blanking Charlie out altogether.

Once on the desired floor and inside Grace's room he closed the door quietly behind himself. They were both sound asleep. Grace looked like a tiny doll in a bed far too big for her petite frame and Connie looked the complete opposite. Cramped uncomfortably in a hospital chair by Grace's bedside. She'd somehow managed to curl up on it like a cat, her legs tucked up under her and her arms supporting her head on her legs. He pondered whether to wake her or not but it was making his own neck ache seeing hers in such an unusual position.

"Connie?" He crouched down and shook her lightly. She was dead to the world. "Connie, wake up." Her fast reaction almost sent him into cardiac arrest, she flinched away in horror attempting to put as much space between herself and him as possible. "Hey, hey, hey!" He grabbed her arm gently. "It's me! Connie, it's Sam, it's me." He repeated multiple times in an effort to calm her down, the fear on her face made him wary. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

"No, it's fine." She exhaled in slight relief. "I-Uh, I didn't even know I'd fallen asleep." She tried to relax a little and softly pulled her forearm out of his grip before rubbing the side of her face. "What time is it?"

"It's eight o'clock, Thursday morning, it's raining outside and you haven't missed much else." He sighed slowly and rose to his feet. "Charlie sent these up for you." He sat the fleeced blanket on the arm of her chair and studied her face. She looked hassled, vulnerable. Not the Connie he was used to seeing. "Look, I know this is a sensitive issue and I'm not trying to muscle in with any one man decisions but we really need to figure out what's going to happen when Grace is discharged. I think she needs a sense of familiarity and normality, at home with her mum." Connie opened her mouth as if to speak but nothing formed and Sam interjected again before she did manage to get some words out. "I know, I know, you don't think she's ready but they can't keep her here forever."

"I know." She huffed and massaged at her stiff and aching neck. "But she has everything and everyone she needs in here, I just think it'd be a hasty and rash decision to discharge her so soon."

He analysed her closely as she circled around the chair she'd slept in and made her way over to her bag. All the while she was rubbing ferociously at her neck and temples before popping out two pills and swallowing them unaided. "Headache?" He questioned with genuine concern.

"I'm going to get changed." She blatantly ignored his question and grabbed her overnight bag, heading to the nearest toilets. She looked exhausted, the mirrors in the toilets really didn't make her feel any better about how she looked. Breathing in a controlled manner, she tried to ease away the familiar feeling of suffocation. Why was this happening to her? _Come on Connie, you know the drill. Slow, deep breaths. In and out. Come on._ Charlie's voice echoed through her skull as she hunched over, holding her chest in a desperate bid to somehow slow her erratic breathing down. This was the eighth time this had happened to her in the weeks following their car accident. She'd found that the best way to get through it was to sit down, crouch over a little and block out any surrounding sounds, allowing her to fully concentrate on breathing calmly. Luckily this one wasn't as severe as the previous. Nobody really knew about it either, which suited her perfectly.

"You okay?" His voice was masked slightly by the rustling of hospital notes as she re-entered Grace's room.

"I'm fine."

"You look a bit flushed."

"Sam, please." She begged. "I said I was fine." Here it comes again. A horrible pressure started to burn in her chest, just like all the previous ones had done.

"Connie?" He dragged her name out slowly, wanting an answer. Her hand flew up to her chest again as she began breathing faster, she slumped down a little and attempted to support herself on the side of the bed.

"Just...Leave it...Sam." She panted breathlessly."I'm...Fine."

"No you're not." He spoke sternly and guided her over to the chair again. "And your nose is bleeding too, sit down." The doctor in him took charge and spoke to her with authority. He grabbed a handful of tissues from Grace's bedside and handed them to her. This must have been something new, he gathered as much by the look on her face as she touched at the blood on her face and looked at it glistening on her fingertips. "Connie." She refused to look at him. She hated this. "Connie, use the tissues and pinch the bridge of your nose."

"Please." She breathed angrily. "I know what to do."

He shook his head with disbelief and motioned to move away but Charlie, his new imaginary conscience, appeared in his ear with a montage of his best points from their talk a few nights ago. _She protects herself with this cold, heartless front and it's not working anymore. She's fragile and scared to death._ He swallowed his pride and returned to crouch in front of her. She was still struggling for breath and her nose was not letting up on it's will to bleed out all over her expensive blouse.

"Sit back, you're tipping your head forward to much." He gently pushed her shoulders back and crouched down again. "Keep pinching the bridge of your nose and take a really deep breath, you know how it goes, Connie." He waited for her to argue back, he expected it to be honest, even in this state she'd still put up a fight. Hell, even in labour she was doing the same thing. To his surprise though, she followed instruction without a peep. "Now breathe out, nice a slowly." He watched her fighting with her own body to breathe. "That's it, now keep doing that. Nice and slowly." His eyes never moved from her frame, he'd never seen her this vulnerable before. Ever.

It took a good ten minutes or so for her erratic panting to come to a slow, her knuckles were white from gripping the arms of the chair and her nice white blouse was now patterned with bloody splats. Her breath was still shaky but at least it was at a normal pace now.

"How's the bleeding?" He tried to assist her some more, still crouched before her, but like Charlie said, her defence mechanism was glitching out and her safety walls must have come flying back up again after having collapsed in a moment of panic and distress.

"It's fine." She sniffed and avoided any sort of contact with him before standing up. "It was just a small nosebleed, I'm fine." Disposing of her bloodied tissues and grabbing her bags she looked at Grace sadly before making a beeline to the doorway.

"Connie!" His attempts to stop her were unsuccessful. He knew his gut feeling was right now though, there was definitely something other than Grace's heartbreaking condition affecting her.

 *****I know I said this one would be longer but this week may be slow in getting to those longer chapters, I'm really busy with work and would rather post shorter chapters more regularly than long ones every two weeks or so. What would you guys prefer? :) Thanks for reading, I hope it didn't disappoint! Please leave reviews! :)*****


	3. Chapter 3: Cut Deep

***Thanks so much for the reviews guys, they help so much! The majority of people reading have said that they'd prefer shorter chapters more frequently as opposed to longer ones less frequently, so that's the way I'll go! :) I hope you're still enjoying it! I'm trying to portray a more vulnerable side to Connie but still keep it as much like Connie as possible, very hard to do! Enjoy and please, please review!***

"Connie, what are you doing?" His accusatory and hushed question still managed to catch the attention of Jacob and Louise, who were tending to the patient currently in resus.

"I'm doing my job, Sam." She growled with annoyance. "What does it look like I'm doing?" Avoiding his stare, she walked around to the other side of the patient's bed, completely oblivious to Jacob's glare. It matched Sam's to a T and the pair of them exchanged glances as she ripped her stethascope from her neck.

"Our daughter is upstairs and ready to be discharged, her bag is packed and she's ready to go home-"

"Guys, come on." Jacob reasoned. "Let's not do this here, yeah?" He tried to place his hand encouragingly on Connie's waist but she pushed it away angrily before shoving past him and heading in Sam's direction.

"My office, now." Her low tone and darkened eyes still made his stomach flutter with nerves, but it didn't need to be like that anymore. He waited for the resus door to close before starting to follow her slowly.

"Things have changed, Connie. I'm not under your thumb anymore. You can bark all the orders you want at me, I don't have to abide anymore, or have you forgotten that?" They'd reached her office now and she stood staring at him expectantly in the doorway. Her face showing that she didn't give a shit about anything he'd just said. Standing motionlessly for 4 seconds he turned his head to the side with an eye-roll before entering her office. The click of the door closing was almost like the ending of opening movie credits.

"Just say it, Connie. If you don't want to look after our daughter, then I will." He remained on his feet even though her office couch was tempting him, but to sit down would give her dominance and that's not what he wanted. It was his turn.

"She doesn't want to go home with me, Sam. I don't know what more you want me to say." She shook her head, baffled. "Shall I drag her home, kicking and screaming? Hm? Or maybe I should strap her to her wheelchair and give her no choice?!" The volume of her last question made the room suddenly feel so quiet as a wave of guilt rushed over her. "I didn't-" She sat down in her seat defeatedly. "I didn't mean that." Rubbing her temples softly she kept her glance low. She couldn't even look at him anymore, he'd seen her at her most vulnerable and it frustrated her to no end.

"I know you didn't." Edging closer he decided to take that seat after all, she wasn't behaving in a territorial manner. "Let's just ignore how we're feeling and what we're going through as parents, for now we need to decide what's best for Grace." His gentle tone made her feel less aggravated. Little did she know she had Charlie to thank for that. Sam kept everything he'd said in mind and reminded himself of it every time he'd had to deal with Connie since.

"She thinks it's all my fault, Sam. I can't make her come home if that's how she feels, I can't."

"Okay, so we need to organise something else then. You just say the word and she can come home with me." He saw the sadness wash over her face. "At least until she's feeling a little more herself, give her some space and time to think. The door'll always be open, you won't be pushed out." An even louder silence filled the room, neither felt the urge to break such a daunting peace. A minute or so passed before her solemn words hit the air.

"Grace should choose, it should be her choice." Quickly swiping at her eyes, she swivelled her desk chair to face the opposite direction to which he was sitting. Her heart felt heavy and her stomach felt like it was doing somersaults, letting go of Grace for a second time was something she'd sworn never to do again. But if it was for Grace's benefit, how could she refuse.

/

"So you understand what we're asking you, Gracie?" Sam remained crouched before her as Connie stood nearer to the door, her emotions all over the place as she tried to hold herself together. She already knew what the answer was going to be. The sound of the marker pen squeaking on her small whiteboard made Connie feel nauseous. Slowly glancing at her Mother she locked eyes with Sam and turned the board around for him to read.

 _ **I want to move in with you, can my puppy come too?**_

She felt like a dagger had been pushed through her heart agonising slowly. Biting her lip in an attempt to hold back the tears she watched on as Sam nodded and kissed her on the head before rising to his feet. Sam knew that would be the answer too but even so, he still didn't know what exactly to say to Connie. He turned around to give her an apologetic look but she wasn't there. Grace's anger subsided for a split second with the thought that she'd really upset her Mum, but that was the point.

/

"How did it go?" Jacob's voice was filled with concern and worry. He was in the staffroom when Sam walked in, looking for Connie whilst Grace's discharge was just being finalised.

"About as well as it could have gone." He sighed, attempting to release some stress with it. "She wants to come home with me, so that's what's going to happen."

"Rough, how'd Connie handle it?" Although they weren't together, or at least he didn't think they were, he still cared about her way too much to admit.

"In the usual Connie fashion, she disappeared and I haven't seen her since. Let me know if you hear from her, I know she and I don't always get on but I'm a little concerned about her."

"Concerned?" Jacob's face dropped as he pressed Sam for further information.

He was reluctant to share Connie's private matters but he was genuinely worried about her health and at least if another person was aware of what was going on it'd be easier to keep tabs on her and make sure she was okay. "I think she's been having panic attacks."

"Panic attacks, since when?" He questioned, slightly defensively as if to say _like you'd know more about her welfare than I do._

"She had one this morning and a nosebleed too."

"The blood on her shirt." Jacob said knowingly, he put the pieces together in his mind there and then. "She's been through a lot, it's no wonder."

"She's made of tough stuff, she'll bounce back in no time. I can guarantee it."

"Nah." Jacob shook his head and looked away with disbelief. "You didn't see it...and I'll never un-see it."

"The car crash?"

There was a long pause as Sam seated himself on the stool in the staffroom and Jacob stood staring aimlessly into his opened locker. He broke the silence sharply, not looking Sam in the face.

"She was just lying there. I thought she was dead." His mouth twitched with emotion. Sam hadn't even given that any thought, once he heard they'd been in an accident he just pictured a car crash scene from a movie, one that censors out most of the graphic scenes. The silence between them allowed Jacob to continue. "The car was in flames, Connie was lying about 20 yards away from it. Covered in blood." He swallowed back the sadness as he recalled every aspect of the scene he was presented with that day. "She was thrown about 80 yards from the car upon impact with the ground, she thought Grace was still in there so she sorted her own dislocated shoulder out and crawled back towards the vehicle but she didn't get there in time and had to watch it explode, in her mind Grace was in that car."

"Shit." Sam's shocked whisper was barely audible.

"When we got there, Jez and Iain couldn't find Grace in the car, she was thrown 50 yards. We had to put Connie under, she was doing more damage to herself because she was hellbent on getting to Grace." He closed his locker, welled with sadness again. "I swear, I'll never forget that day. You should have seen it, I don't know how they're both still alive. I really don't."

At an absolute loss for words, Sam got up from the stool. He'd been sat, listening intently to every word Jacob had breathed. "I know she pushes everyone away and she makes it so difficult to be there for her, but she needs you. Don't let her shut you out, for her sake, not just yours."

"I don't intend too." Jacob nodded gratefully. "Anyway, haven't you got a daughter to be taking home?" He jumped topics faster than Sam could blink, obviously not wanting to dwell on such traumatising times.

"I certainly do." He smiled through a troubled face, mirroring Jacob's. "Better not keep her waiting, her wrath is worse than Connie's."

/

It was 8:47pm and she'd lost count of what number drink she was on now, she still felt pain so obviously she hadn't had enough. Her phone had been vibrating non-stop, messages from Jacob, Charlie and now one from Sam to say that Grace was at his and had settled in nicely. Oh, and he hoped she was okay too. _Yeah, actually, never been better thanks._ Sarcasm even worked well in her mind. She curled her lip and waved discreetly at the waiter for another drink.

"Bad day?" He asked politely as he grabbed her empty glass. Again.

"Hm, something like that."

"You should probably slow down with these, they're pretty lethal."

"Oh really?" She smiled but her eyes refused to light up. "Good, because I'm feeling self-destructive today." Taking the glass swiftly, she downed it almost in one.

She went the rest of the night just ordering drink after drink after drink. Her phone had been annoying her incessantly. She'd replied to Sam, asking him to tell Grace she loved her and then she switched her phone off.

That's the last thing she remembered doing.

 ***Thanks so much for reading, I hope it's still okay for you all! Please, please, please review! I know it sounds really pathetic but if I don't get many reviews for a chapter I just assume that people don't like it and then I feel reluctant to post another chapter. :( So, please let me know how you'd liking the story so far. I need feedback :( Thanks!***


	4. Chapter 4: Denial

*****Thanks to those of you who are leaving reviews! It helps me to know if I'm on the right track with characters and the plot etc so I really appreciate it! :) Although reviews have dropped a bit and the amount of views has actually got higher so I hope people are still actually enjoying this? :/ Once again, please leave reviews with any feedback or comments you have!**

 **I also have a twitter account for this fic now, if you're not a member of this site and want alerts for when I update then follow me sofia_casualty :)*****

He pressed his hands up against the window as he tried to gaze through. Her car wasn't in the driveway and from what he could see, there was nobody inside the house either.

"Come on, Connie." Jacob muttered to himself. "Where are you?" He stepped away from the glass and looked around, a couple of neighbours were walking by and gave him a strange stare. This probably didn't look too good but he couldn't help it, he hadn't heard from her since the previous day. He just hoped she'd maybe gone to work already, that was her usual way of coping, she'd throw herself into work.

/

A soft, gentle movement managed to stir her from her sleep. Her eyelids felt like they'd been glued together and her head felt like it was about to explode. Letting her eyes peel open slowly, it took her a moment or two to get her vision to focus. Where the hell was she? Becoming aware of her surroundings she started to panic. The room around her was small, not messy but definitely not tidy.

"Oh my god." She whispered to herself, in disbelief. She couldn't remember anything from the previous night. She wasn't wearing any clothes under the covers of this unknown bed but she was still in her underwear. That's got to be a good thing, right? She couldn't tell if she was extremely hungover or whether she was actually moving, in fact the whole room seemed to be moving. She sat up, trying to get a better look around her. The window was really high up but she was positive she could hear water. Before she could move another muscle, the door burst open loudly.

"Dervla! Get out!"

"Oh my God!" She yanked the quilt up over her chest as Dylan quickly sheilded his eyes.

"Sorry, Connie, I-uh, I couldn't stop her. Come on, Dervla." He reached out blindly and managed to grab Dervla's collar and drag her gently out of the room. "Sorry." Without unshielding his eyes he shut the door before she even had chance to get any words out. She was in Dylan's boat, in Dylan's bed with no recollection of what happened and how she ended up there. Hurrying herself out of bed in a panic, she grabbed all of her items of clothing off of his floor and threw them on as quickly as she could, taking a deep breath and opening the door gingerly.

"Nothing happened."

"Sorry?" She croaked, slightly taken aback by his fast approach to conversation.

"Last night, nothing happened. I was walking Dervla and we just happened to be occupying the same alley way, only I wasn't totally inebriated like you."

She cringed severely. "Dylan, I-"

"No need to apologise, we've all been there." He finished cleaning the plate he was washing and finally turned around to face her. She looked like death warmed up. "I'm not a host, I don't do house visits normally so..." He trailed off and shrugged. "I guess I'll see you at work, yes? Okay, great." He was so awkward and today was no different. "Here are your shoes, you might want to check you still have all your belongings. You had a fall before I found you. I tried to see to the grazes on your face and hands but you attempted to slap me in return-"

"Look, Dylan, I'd appreciate it if you just kept this between the two of us, please." She touched the side of her stinging face as she put her shoes on and grabbed her purse. Everything was still inside. This was so unlike any situation Connie Beauchamp could, would or should ever be in.

"No need to ask, I don't partake in hospital gossip and nor do find it at all interesting." His hands were placed upon his hips as usual, noting her small and humiliated nod as an unspoken thank you. "Right, well, I was planning on leaving now."

"Yes, of course." She took his hint and headed towards the stairway. "And Dr Keogh?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

He gave a simple nod and watched her leave before grabbing his own belongings and heading out after her.

The side of her face stung as soon as the air hit her skin. This was mortifying. She didn't even want to imagine what could have happened if Dylan hadn't found her. How was she supposed to show up at the hospital like this? The thought of going home to change was even worse though, she really didn't want to go home. All the reminders in there would just want to make her wallow, what she really needed to do was throw herself into work. Yes, work. A distraction, an escape.

/

"Hey, Sam?" Jacob jogged to catch up to him in the corridor. "Have you seen Connie today?"

"No, I couldn't get hold of her this morning. I just assumed she was here already, that's what she does when-"

"-When she's having a tough time, yeah I know." Jacob finished off Sam's sentence before shaking his head. "She didn't go home last night."

"What, at all?"

"I don't think so."

The two came to a stop in the desserted hospital corridor, worry was creeping over Jacob but Sam was trying to sit on his growing frustration.

"I'll keep trying her mobile and let you know if I hear anything." Sam reassured.

"And I'll do the same." Jacob's demeanour changed, clocking Sam's lack of concern. On that note, the two went their separate ways.

Why was she behaving this way? He'd tried his hardest to keep in mind all the things that Charlie had mentioned but because she refused to let herself look vulnerable or voice her feelings he found it ten times harder to actually empathise or sympathise with her. Did she not think that they were both going through this as parents? Grace is his daughter too! He let his thoughts continue spiralling as he rounded the corner ahead. Maybe it was something to do with what Jacob mentioned last night I mean, who knows, perhaps she was really going through some messed up stuff right now but he'd never know because she doesn't talk. He wondered how many things she'd had bottled up over the years. Surely that can't be healthy. His brain raced suddenly with an idea, he knew it was a risky one but it'd definitely shed some light on things.

/

The cover up job she'd attempted to do on the side of her face was atrocious, she'd possibly even made it look worse. On the bright side, her clothes from yesterday weren't stained or marked at all. They still looked clean on. She usually had spares in her office but today of all days, she had none. Her thoughts ceased as her office door opened.

"There you are!" Jacob gushed with relief, closing the door behind him. "I've been trying to get hold of you since last night, haven't you been checking your phone?"

"Uh, no, sorry, I-uh, I switched it off last night." She faltered and didn't turn to face him, not wanting him to see her stinging face. The makeup she'd pasted over the broken skin had really angered it.

He studied her appearance from behind. "Same clothes as yesterday, nice." Remaining surly as he spoke he saw her shoulders drop and her head hang at his last comment.

"You know what, I really don't need this right now." She breathed a small laugh in disbelief. "Please, get out." She turned around to motion him towards the doorway but she sighed with regret when she saw his face un-wrinkle quickly.

"What happened to your face?"

"Nothing, I just-" She cut herself off and touched her cheekbone cautiously. "I just scraped it, that's all."

"Let me have a look at it-"

"No, Jacob! I said I was fine, now please just...get out." The latter of her sentence sounded more like a plea than an order and he knew better than to push her too hard. Not giving her another word he turned on his heel and left her office. Now it was his turn to throw himself into work.

There she goes again, pushing away the people who cared about her. That was her way of protecting herself. Her stomach was still churning, probably a mixture of what she drank last night along with the fact that her world seemed to be crumbling around her and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

"Everything okay?" That warm and familiar voice offered her a small slice of comfort.

"Charlie, I don't know what I'm doing." As soon as she saw him she crumbled and her breathless words came out almost like a whispered sob. She reached out for her desk chair and surrendered into it.

Charlie closed the door quickly to offer her privacy. "I saw Jacob leaving, he looked a bit sour to say the least." He moved over to her side and rubbed her shoulder. "Deep breaths, remember? I'll keep saying it, you know the drill. In and out, nice a slowly." He knew she couldn't answer properly as she tried to regain control of her own breathing but he wanted to keep her mind off of whatever had set her off again. Even if that meant ignoring the wounds on her face and hands. He'd get to them later.

This is why she didn't let her guard down, because when she did it was damn near impossible to get them back up again. It was almost like she had a guarded wall for each person in her life, if she let it down for Charlie then the ones she had in place with Jacob and Sam would stay up. She'd prefer her broken wall to be in Charlie's hands, if anybody's.

/

"Mr Strachan?" Noel grabbed his attention as he passed through reception.

"Can it wait? Technically I'm not supposed to be here today, I'm on my way home. Just came to grab a few things."

"Well, yes, it could-"

"Good, then it can." He smiled and continued walking but the receptionist wouldn't give in quite so easily.

"It's the notes you requested." Sam stopped dead in his tracks and turned to face him. "They came through, I printed the copies out for you."

"Where are they?"

"I kept them hidden." He rushed back to his desk, liking this feeling of importance. "Only my eyes saw them."

"And you're sure about that?"

"One hundred percent." He grinned his famous grin and handed the folder over. "That'll be an interesting read."

"Listen, you tell no one. Especially not-"

"-Mrs Beauchamp, I know. I promise you Mr Strachan, you have my word."

"Right..." He trailed off and tucked the folder under his arm. "Thanks, Noel."

Heading out of the hospital he couldn't help but feel slightly guilty. This felt so wrong but it'd make things easier, for everyone. Under his very arm he had every piece of recorded medical information on Connie Beauchamp, mother of his child. Noel was right, this would make for a very interesting read.

/

"Settled down a bit now?" His hand was still sat on her shoulder, they'd been silent for the last 9 minutes and her rapid breaths had become more regulated again. Nodding gently she sat up straight, trying to reaffirm that she was okay now. "How long has this been going on for?"

"It's only happened a couple of times, Charlie. Don't make it into something, I'm fine." She got back on her feet and squeezed past him.

"And the cuts on you hands and face, what's all that about?"

"Please, Charlie." She winced, her own words were too loud for her aching head. "I don't need a lecture right now."

"Then what do you need? Because I think you need help, Connie. But you're too damn stubborn to admit it." His voice became stern all of a sudden and she couldn't help but stand still and listen, just as a child would when his or her quiet father would start to yell. "You're face is a mess, you're in yesterday's clothes and I can still smell the alcohol on you."

"I couldn't go home." She put a halt on rebuilding her guarded wall and slumped on to the edge of the couch. "Grace went home with Sam last night, she's living with him now."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"It's for the best, she hates me and I'm the last person she needs to be living with right now." The tears were balanced on her bottom lid, just waiting for one more blink before they ran down her face.

"You're her Mum, how can you say that? You're one of the only people she needs right now and you're on a mission to self-destruct. Grace needs you, Connie. Regardless of what you think, every girl needs her Mother." He smiled across the desk at her.

"What if this isn't just angry talk, Charlie. What if she really does hate me?"

"She doesn't." His firm statement silenced her. "She's hurting and she's angry, just like you are. Keep on reaching out to her, show her that you're always there no matter what. Show her that you care." Now stood up, he cupped her hand gently. "But not like this, you'll frighten her." Laughing softly her helped her on to her feet. "Let's get that face of yours looked at, I'll get you an aspirin and a cup of tea too. Set you right for the day."

His smile was the only thing holding her together right now, everything felt dark and for the first time in a long time she was struggling to find the light at the end of the tunnel.

 *****This one is a bit longer, even though I'm thinking people are starting to lose interest in this. I promise it is going to get more interesting, I just like to take things slowly and not rush into the story too quickly! I hope you all enjoyed it and please, please, please review!*****


	5. Chapter 5: Facing Truths

***Thank you all so much for the reviews, hope this next chapter is okay for you all! Sorry, it's a little late, I've been very busy. Should also mention that I've been including little snippets and scenarios shown in the Spring trailer :) Enjoy and please, please review!***

"Maybe you should go home?"

Charlie's question snapped her back to the moment quickly. She shuffled some papers around in front of herself to look busy, trying to hide the obvious fact that she'd just been stood staring into space for the best part of half an hour. It was now almost 10pm, she'd been hiding from reality at work all day. Her head had been pounding relentlessly and she didn't even want to think about the vomiting. If she threw up one more time for today she was certain she'd throw up a vital organ. She'd gotten some interesting looks from colleagues too as she struggled and stumbled on every sentence she'd tried to utter today. She still sounded drunk. And to top it off, her eyes were dry and sensitive to the blaring hospital lights but she ignored it all just to avoid going home to that empty house. Stupid, huh?

"No, I'm fine, just tired." She lied and her weak smile wasn't convincing enough, nevertheless he watched on helplessly as she grabbed some patient notes and headed off to cubicles. A few silent moments passed before Jacob's voice tuned into Charlie's ears.

"She shouldn't be here."

"And you're telling me?" Charlie scoffed lightly. "Keep an eye on her, she wouldn't let me get a proper look at her head this morning and I don't think she's eaten."

"Sure, I'm watching closely." He smiled before grabbing a set of notes for himself and heading to resus, his smile diminishing as he walked away.

Charlie had seen to Connie earlier, forcing a cup of tea down her and handing her a couple of aspirin to ease her headache. It was self-inflicted of course but he knew she must have been going through a lot at the moment. He didn't really blame her. There was still a worry laying within him though, he'd tried to get her to open up about the crash and how she was feeling but she had a lid firmly shut on those feelings and emotions and he knew she wouldn't open up so easily. Maybe he should have another word with Sam? Or maybe he shouldn't? It might cause more stress for her and right now that's the last thing she needed. Which is exactly why she should be at home right now but there was no getting through to her. It was times like this where Charlie really did wonder what she'd been like as a child and a teenager. Difficult sounds like it'd be an understatement.

/

"Mrs Beauchamp?" Louise repeated for the third time and waved in front of her face.

"Hm?" She flinched back to reality. She'd done it again. Started staring into space, she couldn't stop herself.

"I asked if Mr Graham can be sent up to Keller now that you've checked his chest out?"

"Oh, um, yes, yes." She nodded. "Send him up, thanks Louise."

"No problem." She answered unsurely, giving Connie a strange and sympathetic look.

Connie couldn't take it, the looks and sad gazes she was receiving. The mess she'd made of her own face last night didn't help either and nor did the faded mark on her cheek from Steph Sims. Before she had chance to start gazing off into space again she was interrupted for a third time.

"Mrs Beauchamp!" Robyn's little voice carried around the curtain before she'd even become visible. "You're needed in resus, now!" She appeared in front of her, panting slightly with a worried look on her face. Not hesitating for a minute Connie set off at a fast pace behind the pregnant nurse, following her quickly into resus. When they entered Jacob was already doing CPR. She wasn't at all sure if it was her hangover or the fact that she hadn't eaten but soon enough the room started to spin before she even had chance to ask what was going on.

"Connie?!" Jacob yelled out, as if trying to prompt her to yell out her orders as she normally would but now he could tell something wasn't right. "David, take over." He switched places with Nurse Hyde and moved over to Connie as quickly as he could, perfect timing really because as soon as he reached her she staggered back a step or two before collapsing to the floor. He managed to soften her fall a little bit, lowering her down to the ground once he'd caught the majority of her body weight. "Somebody get Dr Keogh in here to take over and call Charlie in too!"

"I'll do it." Louise threw her gloves away and dashed out of the room, eager to get help.

"Come on, Connie." He checked her over as he would a patient, his brow furrowing when he caught sight of the blood collecting around her nose. She was hot to touch too but before he had chance to try and stem the bleeding she started convulsing in his arms.

The resus doors belted open as the cavalry filtered in just in time, Dylan's face faltered upon seeing Connie on the floor but his attention was quickly regained once he spotted Charlie dart past in order to attend to her. He jumped in with the other patient in the room, leaving Charlie and Jacob to deal with Connie.

"Did she hit her face on the way down?" Charlie questioned quickly as he looked at her bloodied nose.

"No, I mean, I don't know. I didn't really see. Maybe, I-"

"Okay, it's okay. Try and keep her as still as you can. Let's get a line in and give her 4mg of Lorazepam." Picking up on Jacob's slightly distressed manner he decided to leave the questions for when they'd managed to stop her from fitting and onto a bed. "Right, let's get her moved, Louise, can you locate us a bed please. Somewhere private? And somebody'll need to contact Sam." He breathed a quiet sigh of relief once her muscles relaxed and her body became limp again. Hospital staff seemed to have stopped movement, suddenly affected by the sight of one of their own being in this vulnerable position. "Show's over, get back to work."

"Why?"

"What?" Charlie was genuinuely confused.

"Why does Sam need to be here?"

"Jacob, they have a child together. He has a right to know and so does Grace."

Jacob couldn't do much more than scowl for the time being but that was the first time he'd ever felt a spark of jealousy with Sam on the scene. And he didn't like it one bit.

/

 _Wow, this is more than an interesting read._ Sam's eyebrows raised as he sipped some more red wine. He was sat under a dim lit reading light in his living room, reading through Connie's medical notes. He'd promised himself he was only going to skim through her most recent notes concerning the car crash but he couldn't refrain from having a sneaky peak. _That's a lot of falls down the stairs for a child_ he thought to himself as he flicked through the pages. So many repetitive injuries. Broken ribs, bruised arms, a couple of concussions. He carried on flicking through until one page in particular stalled him immediately. His eyes repeatedly scanned the words, unsure if he was reading it correctly. "A miscarriage?" He murmured to himself, sitting up straight in shock as he read through the notes obsessively. Flicking for more details he was abruptly stopped again, this time by his phone ringing.

"What?" He answered with a huge hint of irritability and attitude.

"Sam, it's Charlie-"

"Look," He cut him off instantly. "I'm not coming in now, it's after 11 Charlie, unless it's Grace related, whatever it is can wait until tomorrow." Charlie was silent for a while before speaking again, only angering Sam more.

"It's Connie actually, she's sort of Grace related, wouldn't you say?"

"What about her?" Still maintaining an attitude, he hadn't caught on yet that something bad had happened.

"She collapsed in resus about half an hour ago." He trailed off, waiting for a response but he didn't really get one. "She's had a seizure, that's all we know for now."

"I'm on my way." The words were automatic, rising from his chair swiftly he hid his medical bible on Connie and arranged for home care to help him out for the night with Grace. Luckily she was asleep and probably wouldn't stir again until morning.

/

"Her BP is getting lower." Louise spoke gently as she removed the cuff from Connie's upper arm. "Her nose is goin' again, Charlie."

"What's wrong with her?" Jacob joined in, worry overtaking his ability to act professionally as Charlie blotted at the blood again.

"You don't think she's got a bleed, do you?" The uncertainty cracked through in her voice.

"A bleed? Where?" Jacob questioned back at Louise's inquiry.

"Low blood pressure, Charlie said she had a headache earlier, she had slurred speech this afternoon..." She trailed off. "Please, don't tell me you didn't realise she's been acting weird? She's been running back and forth to the bathroom all day too. Robyn said she heard her throwing up."

"I hope you're wrong." The concern in Charlie's voice made Jacob nervous, they all silently acknoweledged that this possible bleed was on the brain.

"It'd make sense with the nosebleeds too." She added politely as she dabbed at her still bleeding nose.

"I think you might be right Louise," He sighed solemnly. The room was quiet with an element of fear lingering. "Send her up for a CT scan as quickly as possible. Sam's on his way." He closed the curtain behind himself as he left, rubbing his head irritably. His gut was churning with worry, not only for her health but his reputation, which sounded extremely selfish but if she really did have a bleed, the aspirin he'd given her could possibly have made things worse with the blood thinning agent they contained.

This was all his fault.

 *** Super short sorry! It's all I managed to get done this week! Next chapter will be longer! Thanks for reading and I hope it's still enjoyable! Please leave reviews, they help so much! Should also mention I'm not a medical professional therefore not everything included in this fic is correct in terms of medicine, I apologise in advance if anything is incorrect or misleading.***


	6. Chapter 6: Stand By You

***Sorry, I'm so late posting this chapter! I really struggled with this one, so I hope it's okay! Thank you so so so much for the reviews! I really, really appreciate them and I'm glad you all seem to be liking this fic! It's going to get quite dark before things get better with this story line. Please, please review and I hope you enjoy it!***

"When can I go home?" Her voice was raspy with fatigue as she lay angrily in the hospital bed. "This really isn't necessary."

"Connie, you collapsed in resus and you had a seizure. This is necessary." Jacob inched closer to the end of her bed as he spoke but she refused to glance his way. Upon feeling the awkward atmosphere, Louise decided to depart the room.

"Yes, well I'm fine now and the scans came back clear so I really don't see why I need to be here." She huffed and began pulling her drip and various other wires out.

"Connie, you're not fine, they want to keep you in overnight." Speaking loudly, he attempted to stop her from trying to leave but it didn't work. "Could have something to do with how you decided to spend your night last night." As soon as the words left his mouth she froze, her eyes locked ahead of her.

"Don't you dare." She warned and her tone of voice made him aware of the anger brewing inside of her.

"What? Call you out on stupid decisions you've made?" He stood up straight again, his chest broadening as he became more irate. "I mean, seriously Connie, what were you thinking? I didn't think sleeping around was your style?"

"Excuse me?" If looks could kill, Jacob would be a dead man right now.

"Yeah." He smiled but the hurt was evident in his face. "Louise saw you leaving Dylan's boat this morning."

"Oh right." She scoffed. "Because of course that means I must have slept with him doesn't it?." The sarcasm in her voice made him wince, in hindsight the accusation he'd just thrown at her was a big one but it was also a logical one. Why else would she have been on Dylan's boat?

"So how do you explain it then?" He questioned.

"I don't have to explain _anything_ to you." The words were hissed, not spoken. That's when he realised he'd really pushed too far but before another angry word could be uttered by either of them the door behind Jacob opened. It was Sam, followed by Charlie.

"I came as soon as I heard, is everything okay?" His sentence faltered towards the end once the awkward atmosphere became more evident. He looked to Charlie and then made eye contact with Jacob, who looked hassled to say the least. "Jacob." Acknowledging him politely, Sam gave him a small nod.

"Sam, I was just leaving." Nodding back to be courteous, he left the room, clearly irritated by his not so calm conversation with Connie moments earlier. The room fell silent again as soon as the door clicked shut.

"Connie, you should be resting-"

"I'm fine, Charlie." She snapped tiredly, regretting it straight away once she realised how horrible she sounded. "Sorry, I just want to get home. It's been a long day."

"I know." He reassured kindly. "But they need to monitor you, see if the meds they've prescribed will help with the swelling on your brain." There was silence as she obviously understood that she couldn't leave. "You're lucky there was no bleed, you really must have banged your head last night."

"Can you _please_ stop going on about last night." She was avoiding eye contact still, especially with Sam who up until now had been almost completely silent.

"So you don't remember anything at all?"

"No, that was the point. I wanted to forget." Charlie and Sam exchanged a concerned glance.

"Right, well it's happened, it's in the past and you escaped a serious injury last night. Now you need to rest, see if we can get you out of here tomorrow." Sam marvelled at how Charlie could get through to her, nobody could do that apart from Elliot Hope. His thoughts catapulted back to her complete set of medical notes he had sat at his house. Maybe she always sought a fatherly figure in someone close to her? Maybe it had something to do with her numerous visits to hospitals as a child? His thoughts ceased when Charlie's spoke again, he was looking at Louise who was trying to get his attention out in the corridor.

"I'll let you two have a minute." He turned to leave and murmured to Sam before exiting completely. "Make sure she gets back in that bed, you know the deal with brain swelling." Sam nodded professionally and watched the nurse leave. The room once again fell silent.

/

"Louise, what is it?" He ushered her away from earshot of the doorway, he could tell the young nurse was troubled with something.

"Look, I wasn't gonna say anything because it's none of my business."She paused in thought before blurting the last of her sentence out. "But I saw her last night."

"Who, Connie?"

"She was hammered, Charlie. I should have called someone or done something-"

"Louise, this isn't you fault." He interrupted with a comforting smile, registering that she was obviously worked up about this but it didn't calm her.

"No, I'm not finished." She looked down hastily. "And then this morning, on my way to work, I saw her leaving Dr Keogh's boat." There was a prickly silence between them again, Charlie wasn't quite sure what to say.

"Well, they're adults, Louise." He shifted uncomfortably. "I'm not really sure where you're going with this." Trying to cover his embarrassment, he chuckled softly but Louise didn't find humour in the situation at all.

"You seen her arms?" She questioned firmly, noting that Charlie wasn't taking this seriously. "The bruises?"

"She was completely inebriated, Louise. She can't even remember how she hurt her head or hands last night."

"No, Charlie. These aren't normal, clumsy drinking bangs and bruises. It looks like somebody's grabbed her, hard enough to leave a mark. " Charlie was silenced, he knew exactly what Louise was trying to insinuate but it didn't paint Dylan in the best light.

"Have you told anyone else about this?" She relaxed, finally sensing that he was taking this seriously now.

"Not about the bruises but I might have accidentally told Jacob that she was with Dylan last night." Her eyes lowered as she spoke the last of her sentence. "What's gonna happen now?"

"Leave it with me and tell no one." He spoke with authority, the last thing either Connie or Dylan needed right now was a nasty spout of rumours floating around the hospital. "Until we know exactly what happened we don't speak a word of this to anyone. I'll make the calls on who we tell or speak to it about, okay?"

/

Why was he here? Her mind was swirling with thoughts as they sat in silence. If she wasn't feeling uncomfortable enough already then she definitely was now. She rubbed her arms anxiously. She wasn't stupid, she knew Louise had seen the marks on her arms and she knew she was out there telling Charlie. It was pointless though, even she herself didn't know how she'd sustained them. She suspected it was someone attempting to help her in her drunken stupor last night. Inhaling sharply she moved her head to the side angrily. What the hell was she thinking last night?

"What's wrong?" Sam moved forward in his chair, concerned she was in pain.

"How's Grace?" Swift change of subject, she spoke calmly and moved to sit back in the bed again. Her head was starting to throb from leaning forward for so long.

"Grace? She's fine, I left her with home care. She was asleep when I left and I didn't want to wake her."

She nodded solemnly. "And she's doing okay with her exercises?"

"Incredibly well." He smiled proudly. "She's going at her own pace and she's progressing well."

Silence again.

"Connie." He spoke carefully. "They said the swelling could be down to previous trauma." Awaiting a response rom her, he exhaled disappointedly when she remained quiet. "You sustained a head injury in the car crash but you refused treatment."

"Grace was more important, I needed to be there for her." Her voice wavered with emotion before she summoned the energy to strike. "But you wouldn't know anything about that because you weren't here." Bang. There it was. She felt vulnerable and so her next move was to obviously warn him off with angry comments. Usually that would rile him up enough to argue back and eventually he'd leave of his own accord. There was silence for a few seconds, his initial instinct was to snap back but he was trying to read beyond her anger now. He felt like he was finally on the other side of her protective wall and she was panicking.

"I know." He sighed and saw her face fall with disappointment. He wasn't playing along like she'd hoped. He leant forward in his chair, elbows resting on his knees. "But that's going to change from now on. I'm going to be here for Grace and for you, I'm back in Holby for good this time."

"And Grace will stay with you permanently." She added her sentence into the conversation as soon as he finished speaking.

"Well yes, for now at least because that's what we agreed and that's what Gracie wanted."

Their conversation was interrupted when Charlie re-entered the room. He looked flustered, not like his usual calm self.

"Sorry to interrupt, Grace has been calling the front desk." He trailed off as Sam rose to his feet.

"My phone's switched off, I'll let her know where I am." He squeezed past Charlie to get to the door. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

Charlie turned to stare at Connie as soon as Sam was out of sight. "So?" He prompted.

"So what?"

"The bruises, where did they come from because I've never seen bruises like that from a fall."

"Charlie, I was drunk, I can't remember a thing and frankly I'd like to leave it that way so if you could all please stop reminding me that'd be fantastic."

"There she is." He smiled at her sharp, sarcastic response. "I thought we'd lost you." A rush of accomplishment came over him when he saw her smile slightly.

"I just want to get back to normal and forget all about this."

"I know you do." He smiled sympathetically. She looked knackered, something he'd never witnessed before, at least not to this extent. Her dry and tired voice regained his attention.

"Tell Sam to go home, I don't need him here."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive." She turned surly again and looked down. "I'm going to get some sleep, I want to be out of here first thing in the morning." Charlie nodded, just to keep her happy for the time being but he was more worried than ever after his talk with Louise and now he had to figure out where things would go from here.

/

Once again, in true Connie Beauchamp style, she managed to get her own way and have herself discharged the very next evening. She almost had to fight Charlie over it but in the end he rather unwillingly succumbed and she was allowed to go home. This time yesterday morning she couldn't think of anywhere else she would have rather been but right now she was more than happy to be undressing to get in her own shower. However empty and lonely it felt in the house. She was under strict instructions not to drive, operate anything mechanical or do any strenuous activities for the next seven to ten days. She had a whole cocktail of medications to take and she was on bed rest for the entire week, which meant she could wallow whilst she recovered and then hopefully bounce back to being her _normal_ frosty self. As soon as the water was warm enough she began to peel her shirt and pants off.

She almost gasped aloud when she caught sight of her thighs. The purple marks she saw were harsh in contrast to her natural skin colour and she'd never seen bruising so dark on herself. Letting her eyes roam over them, she smoothed her finger over one slowly, it was so tender she wondered how she hadn't noticed them sooner. They matched the ones she was sporting on her upper arms and she instantly felt nauseous.

 ***Thanks for reading! Hope it was enjoyable! Please review and let me know what you think! :-)***


	7. Chapter 7: Ignorance Is Bliss

***Thanks again for all the lovely reviews! I was so unhappy with the last chapter but I think it's because I'm not used to writing over such a long period of time. I got all muddled up and the chapter just didn't flow as nicely as I would have liked it :( I hope this one is better and I hope you all enjoy it! Thanks for reading and please, please review! :) I think I mentioned earlier too that I'll be incorporating snippets from actual episodes and putting my own spin on it and also interpreting scenes we've seen in trailers.***

The last ten days couldn't have gone any slower. If she'd had to lay in self-pity for one more day she feared what she would've become. But, thankfully, it hadn't come to that. Checking her makeup in the rearview mirror of her car she took a deep breath before stepping out and heading into the hospital. She had those 'First Day' jitters frolicking in her stomach. Sometimes, ignorance really was bliss. Her mind was 100% on returning to work today but catching sight of Dylan a few steps ahead reminded her of those God awful bruises on her arms and thighs. She didn't for one minute think Dylan had _anything_ to do with those, he wasn't that type of person at all but he might have some more answers for her. Her heart dropped as she strutted through the hospital entrance, this was it. _Bruises fade_ she thought to herself and hers certainly had, they were almost gone now, they had that horrible yellow colour that old bruises get. But they'd definitely faded, it was almost as if they'd never been there and that's exactly how she was going to continue to perceive them. They never happened. She doesn't recall how they got there and nor does anyone else for that matter, and now they're practically gone, so in her mind that's exactly it, they never happened.

"Welcome back." His warm smile made her feel at home as soon as she laid eyes on him, dragging her out of her own argumentative mind.

"Morning Charlie." She returned the smile as she opened her office door, inviting him to follow her.

"You're looking a lot more perky. How are you feeling?"

She looked like she honestly had to think about it for a split second but answered as quickly as possible to avoid sounding unsure. "Yeah, you know what? I think some time off was exactly what I needed."

"Good, I'm glad to hear it." He hovered in the doorway, wanting to question her some more on her overall welfare but decided against the idea when Sam brushed past him and entered her office too.

"Oh, please, do come in." Her sarcasm bounced off him, almost as if he was immune to her iciness by now.

"Never thought I'd say this but it's good to have you and your sharp wit back with us, Connie."

"Good, because there's more where that came from." At this point Charlie was struggling to tell if this was playful ex-fuck-buddy banter or whether they were actually being serious. So, that was his cue to disappear.

"Right, well those patients aren't gonna sort themselves." He smiled. "It's good to have you back, take it easy today Chief." She returned the warm smile as she sat behind her desk but it soon faded when Sam closed the door behind him. The silence was deafening.

"Connie, we need to-"

"When were you going to tell me?" She beat him to the punch, her eyebrows raised expectantly as she sat back in her chair and crossed her arms.

"Tell you what?" The way his voice jumped in pitch at the end of his question told her that he knew what she was talking about.

"Please." She scoffed. "I'm not stupid, Sam. I know Grace is talking again."

"Ah." He clenched his teeth lightly before taking a seat on her office couch. She looked hurt and he didn't want to make this any worse than it already had to be. "I went 'round to yours to tell you, but you weren't in and I tried calling you, I don't know how many times but you never answered. I did try, Connie."

She cringed regretfully upon remembering. "I have a new number, I forgot to tell you." There was silence as she swallowed her pride in preparation to apologise. "Sorry."

"Since when?"

"Last week, some delinquent kept calling and hanging up so I changed my number." She rushed her sentence whilst shaking her head irritably, not wanting to discuss such unimportant crap when they could be talking about their daughter. "So there's nothing wrong with her speech?"

"Her speech is completely fine."

"So then what was the issue? Was it psychological?"

"Not as such." He danced around the topic again, hoping she wouldn't notice but who was he kidding? She's Connie Beauchamp, she notices everything. Judging by her unimpressed face and raised eyebrow that was his signal to just spit it out and have it over with. "Look, she was angry and frustrated. I think she was just channelling her feelings the only way she knew how to at the time."

"By refusing to speak to anyone?" The disbelief rang out in her tone.

"No." He corrected. "By protesting and not communicating with anyone she felt was to blame."

"Of course." She nodded and looked down, frustration growing again. "It's all my fault, how could I forget?"

"Connie, nobody apart from Steph Sims is to blame for this." Those words reassured her only slightly. "I imagine Grace is just displaying some attributes she inherited from you." He smiled when she gave him a cold look. "She's feeling angry and is on the attack." She went to speak but he cut her off before she had the chance. "Just like you would be if you were in her position. Am I right?" The ringing silence told him that he was indeed correct, which prompted him to stand up. "She asked if she could see you this weekend for her birthday, I said it was a possibility, depending on how you were feeling. She knows you've been off work."

"That works for me, so long as she's feeling up to it too of course." Although she was extremely happy that Grace wanted to see her, she hated that it was all down to Sam now. Playing responsible parent and amateur mediator between Mother and Daughter like this.

"Good, I'll let her know." He headed towards her door as she rose to her feet and followed him out. "She tried messaging you too, but I guess you wouldn't have got them with your new number?"

"Yeah, sorry, I'll uh, I'll send you my new contact." Her demeanour changed within seconds, it was such a drastic turn around that even Sam noticed as he was walking away, he paused his movement whilst looking back at her.

"You okay?"

"Hm?" She jumped back to the moment. "Fine." Waving him off she turned on her heel and followed Dylan down the next corridor. Sam looked beyond confused but shrugged off her weird behaviour and continued on with his journey upstairs.

She managed to catch him up at the next nurses station. "Ah, Connie. Nice to see you in such a sober state." This is where a normal person would smile and let the other know that they were joking but Dylan was socially backwards, almost similar to herself but she liked to think her behaviour was more icy and less awkward. Which it definitely was.

"Ha." She tried to act lightly considering her situation was rather the opposite. "Funny."

"Yes, that's usually the main intention of a joke. But not always." He'd began to blather in the awkward silence but there was a short pause. "Jokes can be used to make a point of something to someone or-"

"Dylan." She cut him off sharply. "Just out of curiosity, what exactly happened that night?" Her eyes darted around, careful of who was in earshot of their conversation.

"Well, I already told you." He looked irritated that he even had to think about it again let alone remind her of the night's events. "I was walking Dervla, as I normally do at that hour, and there you were. Staggering around like a newborn giraffe."

She rolled her eyes with embarrassment. "Right, and there was nobody with me or near me?" The frustration in her voice was becoming more evident.

"No, like I said, I think you'd fallen over, given your head a good knock and then I found you."

"And you took me back-"

"Back to my boat and showed you to my room." He reassured firmly. "And then I slept on the sofa and didn't see you again until the next morning when Dervla let herself in to go and see you." She contemplated everything he just said as he remained focussed on the file in front of him. "Why?" The short and abrupt question took her by surprise.

"No reason, I just wondered if anyone had perhaps seen how I fell or if I was with anyone." She spoke gingerly, not wanting this information to become public, but it's as if he had read her mind.

"Nobody knows." He continued reading, almost completely ignoring her presence next to him now. "Y'know." He waved his arm at her. "About your escapade that evening or where you spent the night."

"Good. I'd like to keep it that way." The relief washed over her nicely, this was one awkward conversation she couldn't wait to forget about. "Thanks." It was almost a chore for her to say thank you sometimes and this was one of those times. Hearing him grumble in response she headed off to grab some patient notes and get on with the day. She needed to keep busy and bury herself in work.

/

"Did she say anything?" Duffy's voice was at a low whisper in the staff room.

"No, nothing." Charlie frowned and looked back at his wife. "But she seems upbeat, you know? Back to normal and it's nice."

"Yes." She agreed cautiously and he could sense a _but_ coming. He was right. " _But_ if you have reason to believe she was harmed that night, surely you should tell her."

"I think she knows."

"So she _was_ attacked!?"

"No!" Charlie spoke urgently and winced at the volume of her voice, warning her to hush. "I think she was aware of the bruises and can draw her own conclusions." He saw her brows furrow with confusion, prompting him to explain. "I saw her looking over her arms after she collapsed. She knew they were there and I'll let her handle it. I'm not interfering anymore, it only causes more drama. For everyone."

"I still think you should tell Sam." The sincerity in her voice made him feel warm. This caring, beautiful woman was his wife and he still couldn't believe it. His own thoughts made him smile. "What?" She smiled back, enveloping him into a hug before turning serious again. "Please, tell him." She begged. "Then, if anything did happen, he's aware too and it's not all on your shoulders. We've enough to be dealing with right now with Robyn and baby Charlotte."

"Okay." He finally agreed.

"Promise?"

"Yes, alright, I _promise._ I'll tell him this afternoon." He laughed at her niggling on at him before their affectionate embrace was interrupted.

"Alright love-birds?" Jacob's smile lit up the room as he spoke. "Aren't we doing any work today?" He laughed, opening his locker beside them.

"Definitely working today, Connie's back." She checked her uniform watch and cringed before pecking Charlie one last time. "And I'm already late, catch you later, fellas." She called out kindly as she quickly left the room.

"She's back?" The cheer in his voice vanished suddenly.

"Yeah, it's her first day back today." He came away from leaning on the table, following in Duffy's direction out of the doorway. "I don't know what's going on with you two at the moment but save it for another time, yeah? It's her first day back and she's had a crappy few weeks. Let her settle in a bit first." His paternal instincts were kicking in and he wanted to shelter Connie from any unnecessary grief.

"Of course." He smiled. "It's all business, Charlie. I'll see you out there in a bit."

Truth be told, he was hurt. She'd shut him out instantly without hesitation and it upset him that it was that easy for her. That and the fact that she obviously didn't need him, he felt like he was crumbling without her and that bothered him the most. He still felt so strongly for her, that explains the the jealousy he was feeling about Sam all of a sudden. He wasn't a threat before but now he seemed closer to her than he himself was. Of course, their relationship would always be on a different level given their history and the fact that they have a child together but still, he really thought she was _The One._ How wrong could he have been? He let his mind go blank once he'd finished rummaging in his locker. Slamming it shut angrily when he was done. Give him strength to get through this shift without seeing Connie, Sam or Dylan.

/

All afternoon Charlie felt like he'd been watching Connie's every move. Acting as her guardian angel in disguise without her knowing. She really did seem back on top form and it eased his mind a little. He still had Duffy's voice in his mind, encouraging him to tell Sam. It made a lot of sense really and it'd be a load off of his shoulders if someone else could share that load. That's even if there was anything to all of this, it could have easily been someone trying to help her up off of the ground that night, or anything along those lines. The sight of Sam marching past was his chance to bite the bullet.

"Mr Strachan? Can I have a word with you? In private." He motioned to the nurses office down the corridor. Sam looked a little unamused but headed towards the office anyway without a word, only opening his mouth to speak once they were both inside with the door closed.

"What can I help you with, Charlie?"

"Actually, it's about Connie. I'm a little concerned."

"Right." He politely prompted the nurse to get on with it without actually having to say exactly that.

"The night she was admitted, she had a number of harsh markings and bruises on her arms. They looked like hand marks. Neither myself or Louise got a proper look at her, she refused a routine examination but her arms were pretty marked up."

"Did you ask her about them?" Sam's mind was ticking, Charlie could almost see it working away inside his head.

"Yes and to no surprise, she couldn't remember how she got them." He sighed aloud. "I just thought you should know. I mean, she seems completely fine but I'd rather you knew as well, you know? Just to keep an eye on her." The way he was speaking almost sounded like he was trying to apologise, for no reason.

"No, no you're right." Sam reassured him quickly. "I'm glad you brought it to my attention. Thanks, Charlie."

"Not a problem, don't mention it to her though. I just wanted you to be aware."

"Of course not, she'll have my head on a plate if I even question her about that night so I'll be leaving that topic well and truly alone. I'll keep a close eye on her though."

They both thanked one another again before getting back to work, all the while Connie was out on the floor shouting orders as she normally would. Living comfortably in her bubble of blissful ignorance.

/

The next week flew by faster than she could have anticipated, call her stupid but she was actually marginally nervous about this birthday breakfast at Sam's house. She hadn't seen Grace in over 3 weeks due to her moving in with Sam and then obviously her own unforeseen medical issues. Her throat felt constricted as she rang the bell to be let in. The air was brisk today, her breath was visible before her each time she exhaled. Holding her scarf close to her chest she waited patiently, her heart skipping a little when she heard movement on the other side of the door. It opened quickly.

"Sorry, Connie. I didn't mean to keep you waiting." He stepped back, opening the door wider and allowing her to enter. "Let me take those." He motioned to her coat and scarf with his spare hand.

"Thanks." Shrugging out of them she smoothed her blouse sleeves down and followed him through to his kitchen. She couldn't help but smile at the sight before her. She'd never seen him in a cooking apron before. "That's quite a look you're sporting."

"Oh, please don't?" He laughed. "You're as bad as your daughter, she's been giving me grief all morning." This was nice, laughing with him as opposed to being at each other's throats. "It's my Mum's-" A familiar voice echoed from the kitchen, masking the last of Sam's sentence as she came to a stand still in the corridor. "Ah." He started. "I was going to tell you sooner, I promise-"

"Please tell me that's not your Mother I can hear." She knew damn well it was but this was her way of letting him know she was royally pissed off.

"She'll be on her best behaviour, I've already read her the riot act and if she starts anything I've warned her that-"

"That what?" She hissed. "You'll kick her out? Banish her from her own Granddaughter's Birthday celebration?"

"Look, this isn't about you, or me or her. Today is about Grace and she wanted her here. We're adults, let's act like it and it'll be over in no time. She has to leave at twelve anyway. Can you manage two hours with her, for Grace?" He was speaking firmly but she already knew she was going to put up with it, for Grace's sake.

"Let's get on with this then." She motioned her hand to the kitchen door, urging him to keep going. His grateful nod was just noticeable as he opened the door. Here goes nothing.

"Look who's here." He sang.

"Hi sweetheart." She gushed happily and hugged Grace tight, rubbing her back affectionately. "Happy Birthday!"

"Thanks, Mum." Grace pulled away slowly. She looked so well and she was stood up by herself. "I'm sorry-"

"No, none of that today." She smiled and hugged her again. "I'm just glad you're okay." Her words were whispered out as she tried to control her emotions.

"What's in the envelope?" Sam queried, watching the two reunite.

"Oh, yes." Connie was suddenly reminded of the envelope she was clutching. "This is for you." Grace took it slowly, her movements were still a bit stilted but she was doing so much better than the last time Connie had seen her. All three of them watched her peel open the card and immediately start bopping on the spot.

"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God." She squealed and wrapped her arms around her Mother's waist again. "Thank you!"

"You're welcome." She kissed her on the head and rubbed her shoulder, accidentally making eye contact with Audrey.

"So, what is it?" The older woman questioned inquisitively but Connie knew she was getting ready to strike.

"Meet and greet tickets for One Direction!" Grace beamed excitedly before Connie even had chance to reply.

"I won't have to tag along and beat any famous pre-pubescent boys off of you will I?" Sam joked, making everyone smile.

"No, Dad." She laughed. "They're not pre-pubescent."

 _This could be okay_ Connie thought to herself, she just hoped Audrey didn't start anything that she'd have to finish. Half an hour in and things were going smoothly, the two women still hadn't uttered a word to one another but Sam had offered Connie a seat and was almost done icing Grace's cake. He'd done it all himself and she was honestly impressed. He'd put so much effort in, it warmed her heart and made her smile.

"Glass of bubbly, Connie?" Audrey's offering finally broke the ice, she wasn't sure if it was a test to see if she would accept a glass of alcohol at half eleven in the morning or whether it was a genuine offer. "No, thank you." She smiled. "I'm driving." Sam was monitoring their interactions, ready to jump in if needed. Grace didn't need the tension and nor did Connie with her own medical woes. Technically she was still not out of the woods and hadn't finished her course of treatment. She was just supposed to be taking things slowly.

"Right." He interjected. "I think my masterpiece is finished." He had icing on his cheek and flour in his hair but dare she say it, he'd done an amazing job. Better than anything she could have made. Laying it in the centre of the table he looked at Grace for a reaction. Her mile wide smile was the perfect response.

"So what are we eating this morning?" Even just her voice grained on Connie. Trying not to show any sign of irritation she studied the cake Sam had made instead.

"Well, Birthday Girl requested pancakes and Belgian waffles so that's exactly what we've got." He started dishing food out, smiling gratefully when Connie stood up to help him.

Another half hour passed and still things were going well. _Only one more hour until the witch leaves_ she thought as she glanced at Sam's kitchen clock.

"Need to be somewhere?" Audrey threw the question at her from over the table.

"No, no, not at all." She smiled in a sickly sweet fashion, straightening her knife and fork once she'd finished eating. "Thanks, Sam."

"Dad, Hugo wants to come over and watch a movie when we've finished eating."

"Whatever you want, your Birthday your say." He finished his last mouthful and smiled when she stood herself up slowly. Her crutches were in the doorway. She still needed them for long distances, which became apparent when she grabbed them to move into the sitting room. "I'll bring some snacks through when he get's here!" He yelled after her and nodded when she yelled a loud _Thanks Dad_ back. Suddenly the room fell silent. Grace had been talking a mile a minute the whole time they were eating, it was so nice to see her happy and progressing again but now she'd left the room Connie felt like her security blanket had been snatched away. She still had 45 minutes until Audrey left.

"Sam tells me you've had a couple of weeks off work?"

"Mum." He warned immediately.

"It's fine, Sam." Connie blinked in his direction gratefully before looking to Audrey. "Yes, I just needed some time off."

"I assumed you would have spent some time with Grace since you never have any-"

"Okay, who wants coffee?" Same spoke over the top of his Mother, giving her a clear hint. It obviously worked because she had a salty look on her face and sat back with her glass of Champagne.

"I'll give you a hand with these." Connie grabbed the rest of the plates and followed him into the kitchen where she began washing them.

"Don't worry about that, I can do it later."

"It's fine, actually it's the least I can do. You've put so much effort in today, never had you down as a baker." She smiled, even more so when he ripped the apron off and tossed it aside.

"If anyone finds out about that, I'll know who to look for." He laughed and started drying the plates she'd washed.

"Since when have you two been so chummy?" Their heads turned in her direction as soon as the words left her mouth, smiles fading simultaneously.

"Mum, please." Sam begged. "For Grace, let's just all act civilised. If Connie and I can do it then anybody can." His voice was at a low whisper. "I thought you had to leave at twelve?" His attention quickly moved to the clock realising it was almost ten past.

"Oh, that was for gardening club." She huffed. "It's been cancelled because of the rain." She motioned to the window where it could be clearly seen that the weather outside was horrific. Not only cold but now belting down with rain. Connie's body tensed, now knowing that Audrey was staying. Her head was starting to throb as it was and now she had to put up with her for the rest of the day. Even Sam looked slightly disappointed.

"Right, maybe you could help Grace put that DVD on and I'll bring a cup of tea through for you when I'm finished in here?"

She smiled as sweetly as she could. "Thanks for breakfast, darling. It was delightful." As soon as she'd left the room Connie's body relaxed again. She didn't realise up until now how physically tiring it actually was to restrain herself from making bitchy, sarcastic comments. It felt like a workout.

"How are you feeling?" He jumped straight to it as soon as they were alone together.

"Fine, still a little fatigued but fine." Avoiding eye contact she finished the last plate and grabbed herself a glass of water. It was pill time, and she had a whole handful to take.

"Meds helping?"

"I assume so." She answered between popping each one into her mouth and swallowing. Things suddenly felt awkward again and she didn't know why. As soon as anyone questioned her about her wellbeing she felt herself clam up, partially because she wasn't fine at all but she was deluding herself into thinking that she was in order to put on a convincing act. So far it was working a treat, she'd even forgotton about the night of unknown events and everything surrounding that evening. Up until now of course, when Sam asked her if she was okay. That's when she'd get short with people and push them away, their general concern was ruining her perfect performance. Sam sensed he'd hit a nerve and backed off immediately, good job he knew her so well.

The next two hours were drab but at least Grace was having fun, they were all sat in the living room and her favourite movie had just finished. Little Hugo was there too and had kindly brought Grace some chocolates for her birthday and Connie some flowers as a get well soon gift. He explained how he'd saved up his pocket money especially.

"I should probably make a move." Audrey edged forward in her chair, checking her watch. "I'll just nip to the loo and then I'll call a taxi." As soon as the word taxi left her Gran's mouth Grace looked pleadingly at her Mother, urging her to offer the older woman a lift home. If it weren't for the fact that she'd do anything to make Grace happy, she'd never let that woman within 3 feet of her car let alone inside it. There was a couple of moments before Connie internally huffed before opening her mouth.

"I haven't had anything to drink, I can give you a lift Audrey." Sam almost choked on his piece of cake. _Did Connie just offer to drive my mum home?_ He thought to himself in shock, waiting for his Mother's equally shocked response but nobody was ready for what was about to leave her mouth.

"With you? In your car?" She laughed. "Who knows which cliff we'll end up at the bottom of." She shook her head and continued walking toward the stairs. "A taxi is perfectly fine, thank you."

There was silence for what felt like an eternity.

She'd been holding her hate in _all_ day and for a split second she actually thought she'd broken herself. She was _furious_ at what this old woman just had the nerve to say to her but absolutely no words were coming out when she actually needed them to. Everyone was in pure shock. Even Sam's mouth hung open.

"Mum, don't listen to her."

"Yes, don't listen to her." Sam spat angrily in agreement with Grace . He was half expecting Connie to be the one to lose her cool today but never did he think his own Mum would say something so cruel, especially in front of her Granddaughter. "I'll go and have a word with her-"

"No, leave it. It's fine." Connie grabbed his arm, stopping him instantly. But he could tell by her voice that it wasn't fine.

"I told her to behave herself today." He shook his head, sadness washing over him when he saw Grace's face dropping. Hugo sweetly helped her up and grabbed her crutches.

"Can I see the presents you got now? You promised you'd show me them." He tried to remain upbeat, it half worked as Grace offered her mum an apologetic smile and stood to take Hugo upstairs. Sam wasn't sure what to say but before he could even think of something Connie was on her feet and grabbing her purse.

"Where are you going?"

"I, uh, I forgot." She stalled whilst heading through to the front door, grabbing her coat and scarf off of the stand. "I've got things to do, paperwork-"

"Don't go, Grace really wanted you here."

"I don't think it's a good idea." She shook her head and looked down. "I'll end up saying something I'll regret and I don't want to upset Grace-"

"Upset her?" They were interrupted as that bloody voice chimed down the stairs. Audrey was headed their way.

"Mum, don't start!"

"What?" She asked innocently.

"Thanks for breakfast, tell Gracie I said bye and I'll text her later." Connie hurriedly went to grab the handle but Sam put his hand over the door. After everything that'd happened with Elle's hearing and Grace's seizure she'd sworn on her daughter's life that she'd never let her angry temper cause Grace any harm or upset ever again. And she intended to stick to that.

"No, you're not going. You're not the one in the wrong." He shot daggers at his Mother. "I think you should go now, Mum."

"No, it's fine. I'm leaving, Sam." Her words were beginning to sound desperate as that familiar feeling started to rise in her chest. Her heart felt like it was going to pound right out of her chest. Whenever she was feeling like this her instincts became almost animalistic. She felt vulnerable, threatened and panicked. Confrontation was the last thing she wanted which was so unlike her usual self. When this happened to her she just wanted to be somewhere alone where she could concentrate on breathing regularly and not passing out.

"No." He repeated firmly, still giving his Mother a harsh stare but it was apparent she'd decided that she wasn't leaving either. The rest of their argument was a complete blank to Connie, the only thing she could hear was her heart beating loudly and her breaths becoming more and more erratic. This was a bad one.

"Stop it!" They were immediately silenced by Grace's furious yell from the top of the stairs. Their attention was on her for only a split second before Connie's frantic breathing was finally audible.

 ***Thanks for reading! This chapter was a lot longer than the others, I partially wanted to make up for Chapter 6 as I was really disappointed with that one and judging by the lack of reviews I figured you guys were too, I'm so sorry! I hope this one is more enjoyable! Please, please, please review! It encourages me to post more chapters! Thanks!***


	8. Chapter 8: Control

***Thank you all soooooo much! Never imagined people would actually like my writing! I'm elated! Thanks so much for all the reviews! Hope you enjoy this next chapter, should be back to posting more regularly now. :) Please, please review!***

This so wasn't her style. The level of discomfort she was feeling right now was second to no other time in her life. The kitchen was gravely silent, Sam must have been scared to talk or something. She was half glad because talking was the absolute last thing she wanted to do but at the same time this awful silence was almost unbearable. She cringed sadly. She'd become so breathless and panicked during her attack that she ended up passing out. When she came-to she was laying on his sofa. In the mean time he'd sent his Mother packing whilst she was out-cold, unsurprisingly sparking another argument. Thankfully she wasn't present for that one. He sent Grace upstairs with Hugo when she woke up and now, cut to the present time, they were sat silently in his kitchen and it was starting to get dark outside.

"You're welcome to stay if you-"

"No, no I'm fine. Honestly." She shut down his kind offer before he'd even finished asking. Not in a nasty way, just in an _I don't want to be a burden_ way. Thankfully that's the way he received it too. She offered him an extremely small smile, her eyes didn't convey the same message but to be fair right now it was hard to tell because she wouldn't look at him.

"What happens when you have one of these...attacks?" He was treading so very carefully, one wrong question and she'd either snap at him, hurl a few insults and leave _or_ clam up even more, refuse to let him in and still leave. She was so complicated and he was only just starting to see it. Charlie was right, there was so much beneath this cold exterior, it was blatantly obvious now but he'd only just caught on.

"Nothing I-"

"No, I'm not trying to fix anything or be a problem solver here, Connie." He'd read her mind, or maybe detected the frustrated tone in her voice from the two small words she'd managed to utter before he spoke up again. "I just, I genuinely wonder what triggers them, what goes through your mind when it happens?"

She was silent, her natural instinct and urge to shut him down and leave was fighting strong but at the same time she felt physically, mentally and emotionally drained. What'd be the harm in telling him? Maybe there would be no harm but at the same time her lack of trust in other humans was forcing her to keep her mouth shut.

"Connie?" He prompted her but he knew he'd just blown it.

"I, uh, I should probably go." Getting to her feet she grabbed her bag, still avoiding eye contact.

"No, wait." He jumped to his feet quickly. "Sorry, I Just, I want to help you. Not just for your sake, but for Gracie's too." His eyes flickered over her face, noticing her expression had softened. "Seeing you like that today really scared her."

"I don't know what to tell you, Sam."

"You don't have to _tell_ me anything." He reassured. "Just talk to me, to us." He motioned above his head, obviously referring to Grace upstairs. "Let us in, don't be such a stranger."

Those last five words hit her harder than she'd expected. That's exactly how she'd felt about her own parents. They never really _talked_ to her, it was just the odd conversation but beyond that she hardly knew them. They were strangers to her. And that's definitely not what she wanted for Grace.

"I'm gonna stick the kettle on and if, after that, you still want to go home we'll give you a lift." He smiled and rubbed her arm gently. "You shouldn't be driving after what just happened."

She waited until he'd moved away before speaking quietly. "They started after the crash, the attacks."

He was stunned into silence, she was opening up, should he still put the kettle on? Or should he take a seat and hopefully encourage her to follow action? He didn't know what to do. Dealing with this side of Connie was like being in the presence of some sort of extremely timid wildlife, one loud or sudden movement might scare her away.

"Do they happen often?" His voice was the softest she'd ever heard it. There was something oddly comforting about being in his company, she couldn't tell whether it was the fact that they'd known one another for so long or if he just had one of those friendly faces that some people have. The first one seemed to stick out more.

"It depends." She sighed and sat back down again. She was doing this for Grace but simultaneously, it'd benefit her too in the long-run, she was tired of holding everything in all the time. Just the process of opening up was so difficult for her. He melted back into his seat slowly too. "It feels like I'm suffocating. I can't pinpoint when they're going to happen but when it does..." She trailed off for a second. "I can't focus on anything, and all I can see is..." She choked up just thinking about it but feeling his hand smooth over her arm encouragingly she managed to get the last few words out. "I saw a shoe, Grace's shoe, in the car." She swallowed hard before sniffling. "And I could already see flames, but I _really_ thought she was inside when it-"

"I know." He soothed, the distress in her voice forced him to cut her off.

"And that's all I can see." She added sadly after a few seconds of silence.

"When you have one of these panic attacks?"

She nodded before taking a deep breath. "That's all I can tell you." Sniffling again, she shrugged and sighed angrily at herself. She was already regretting opening her mouth. "I really do need to go now." That was it, she switched back like it was nothing. Her ability to do that astounded him.

"I'll get my keys-"

"No, no, I'm fine to drive. Please."

He was slightly hesitant to agree but at the same time he knew that's all he was going to get out of her today, maybe even ever but hopefully it was a start.

/

The next four weeks seemed to just dribble by in patches of good and bad. She felt rotten the night after Grace's birthday but at the same time she felt an enormous relief after talking to Sam. Perhaps it was just the practice of sharing a problem, she felt like the weight of it's burden on her had been halved and he chest felt less constricted. It was the most bizarre feeling she'd ever had. In a way she was deeply grateful, not only that he'd pressed her to talk but that he listened, didn't speak and above all wasn't treating her any differently at work. He was still being the dickhead Medical Director and she still a Clinical Lead in the ED. Nothing had shifted in their weird relationship and that's how she wanted it to stay.

"Mrs Beauchamp?" Noel's voice sang out again, attempting to get her attention for a third time. She was queueing for an extremely needed cup of coffee but as always she didn't even have time for that. Walking over to him after a very Connie Beauchamp-esque eye roll, she stood before him expectantly. She finally had her pizazz back.

"What?" She'd stood there long enough for him to explain what he wanted but he was just standing there.

"Oh, sorry." He fumbled around behind the desk, inviting her to give him another eye-roll combined with a huff as one hand slid up to sit on her hip impatiently. "There's a phone-call on line three for you." Grabbing the receiver he offered it to her but she just stared at him. They had a new phone system installed and the poor guy was _still_ trying to work it out.

"Put the call through to my office." She demanded. "I'll take the call in there." Not even finishing her sentence before walking away she headed towards her office, leaving the poor receptionist looking frantically for a manual. Bless him.

It only took him fifteen whole minutes, which was actually quite fast for Noel. Shaking her head she took a seat in her desk chair and pulled the receiver to her ear.

"Connie Beauchamp speaking."

"..." There was only silence on the other end.

"Hello?" She spoke again, trying for a response but there was still nothing. She went to speak again but Sam entered her office. Without knocking. Still stuck in old habits. She gave him a slight glare and he knew exactly why but didn't care. He was Medical Director now, he need knock on no door in this hospital. She slammed the phone down and shook her head angrily.

"Who was that?" He sat her a coffee down and took a sip from his own cup.

"Oh I don't know." She huffed. "Probably never will either, Noel kept them on hold for about twenty-five minutes. They must've hung up." Her words were fiery again and he never thought he'd feel it but he was glad she was back to being a bitch. "Thanks." She grabbed the takeout cup and took a sip from it.

"Grace goes back to school next week, I thought we could take her out for lunch before she goes back." He remained stood in the doorway, he was obviously on the move and needed to be upstairs somewhere.

"Yeah." She nodded and smiled, an actual genuine smile, not a sarcastic or uncomfortable one. Sam could tell the difference now. "That'd be nice, let me know when and I'll be there."

"Okay, I'll ask where her highness wants to go and get back to you." He smiled too, things were so much easier with Grace when he and Connie were getting along and overall Grace was so much happier not having to listen to her parents bicker or argue whenever one phoned the other. Without warning her desk phone sang out again, prompting them to both look out to reception and see Noel motioning frantically to the phone. "You better answer that before they hang up again." He laughed quietly at her annoyed expression before leaving her to answer the phone in private.

"Connie Beauchamp speaking."

"..."

She huffed, starting to lose her patience, or what little patience she did have anyway.

"Hello?"

Nothing. She slammed the phone down again and looked at Noel, daggers darting through the glass at him. He held the phone he had up to his hear and then shrugged at her, obviously hearing that nobody was there. God, give her strength. Grabbing her stethoscope and coffee she headed out of her office to officially begin her working day.

A lot had happened since Grace's birthday breakfast. For one, she'd received an apology in the form of an email from Audrey, and secondly she'd been spending more and more time with Grace. It was unclear to her whether it had anything to do with her small albeit weight shedding talk with Sam, or seeing Grace more frequently, but since then she'd been having less and less of these anxiety attacks. Perhaps it was an overall sense of things getting back to normal? Maybe she was feeling more settled now? She didn't have a clue but whatever it was, she was glad. Things were finally starting to seem slightly normal again. Apart from the Jacob situation. He was still avoiding her like the plague. She'd be lying if she said she didn't think about him often or wonder to herself if they would have worked out had they stayed together. Maybe she'd never know now.

Things were tricky at the moment, with the trust making cuts their working environment was extremely tense. Sam was definitely not the most popular man in the hospital for the time being and it put Connie in an almost impossible position. On one hand she had people automatically hating her, thinking she was in cahoots with the Medical Director because they had a child together and on the other hand she had people like Charlie, Cal and Ethan relying on her to protect them from Sam like she had some sort of say in the matter. Then, to make her life more difficult, she faced the worry of angering Sam and hurting her relationship with Grace if she protests any of his decisions. Although, that wasn't really Sam's style to be honest, he wasn't the type to fight his work battles and use his daughter as some sort of pawn in the game. But still, she was treading cautiously just in case.

"Oh, Connie?" Charlie called out to her on their way to resus.

"If this is something to do with Sam and the job cuts, please, please _don't_ start." She'd now slowed to a stop and her waving hand put extreme emphasis on the fact that she really didn't want to hear it.

"Look, I'm sorry but we're all really on edge at the moment." He looked down sadly and it made her sigh with regret. "There's a high chance any one of us could be going at the drop of a hat. You can talk to him-"

"Charlie." She interrupted him as politely as she could. "I _can't_ do anything. We're all at risk here but there's just nothing I can do." Her eyes pleaded with him but she could see he was hurt.

"Right, but let's be honest though." His body language turned cold all of a sudden, almost standoffish. "It's not as if you have anything to worry about. He's hardly going to fire the Mother of his child, is he?"

"Charlie, that's _not_ fair."

"But it's true, you know it is." Without them knowing, Cal, Ethan, Lily and Alicia had sort of gathered around the two of them. Listening closely with wide eyes and worried faces. It actually pained her to see her team looking so run down and scared.

Speaking up, she scanned across their faces as she spoke. "Look, I can't promise anything. You know that already, the most I can do is have a word with him and try to make him see sense. Okay?" She folded her lips together sympathetically seeing them all nod solemnly before heading their separate ways. Charlie's voice pulled her back to Earth.

"Thank you. That's all they need." He smiled gratefully. "To know someone with some power is on _their_ side, fighting _their_ corner."

Her words were hushed whispers all of a sudden, the strain obvious in her voice as she moved closer to him. "This is putting me in a really, really difficult position, Charlie. I hope you know that."

"I know." He rubbed her upper arm. "Don't get me wrong, the amount of support he's been giving you lately is incredible and I admire him for that." He trailed off for a moment. "But what he's doing to this team is wrong on so many levels, you know that. I appreciate this is hard for you and you're in a position nobody should _ever_ have to be in but it's here, it's happening."

"Like I said," she stepped away, smiling as best she could given the topic. "I'll do what I can, but no promises. There's only so much I can do, Charlie."

"We understand that, and thank you."

His warm smile kind of concluded the conversation as she walked away and headed for resus. Just like that, more weights had been placed upon her buckling shoulders. When would it end?

/

The day was coming to a close, she was relieved. The ED wasn't a very comfortable place for her at the moment. And it was about to get even more uncomfortable. Sat at her desk with her aching head in her hands she sighed miserably seeing a bemused looking Jacob marching towards her office doorway. His voice filling the empty room as her finally reached the entrance and came to a standstill.

"You look troubled." He laughed showing no sign of humour. "Still, less troubled than any of us at least."

"You know what, Jacob, don't even go there." She spat angrily, partially in shock that he had actually even uttered a word to her and partially that those were the words he'd chosen to utter after almost five weeks of the silent treatment.

"Just sayin', must be nice not having to worry about getting fired at any moment."

"Take it up with Sam, not me."

"Already have, fat lot of good that did me."

"So then, why are you bothering me with it?" There was no expression in her voice at all. She was tired, grumpy and above all frustrated with everyone thinking she could fix this problem with the click of her fingers. "Sam isn't a puppet, I can't just _make_ him change his mind."

"You have the biggest influence over him, so why can't you persuade him this is a really stupid idea?"

"I've tried." She raised her voice and sat up properly to look at him. "Charlie's tried, Cal's tried, Ethan has tried. His mind is made up, I can't change it." Starting to yell, she had to remind herself to calm down.

"Ah." He smiled, nodding his head as if he'd just realised something. "You're scared he'll stop you from seeing Grace."

"Excuse me?" She squinted angrily.

"Yeah, that's it." He clicked his fingers, nodding repeatedly. "He's got you wrapped around his little finger. Watch, he'll have you breaking the news to the people he's cutting. _You're his_ puppet."

"Who's a puppet?" The monotony of his words silenced Jacob immediately as he turned to look Sam in the face.

"I see what you're doing, very clever." He smiled before looking at Connie whilst shaking his head and leaving the two of them alone. He felt like he'd just seen into the future.

"What was all that about?" Sam queried as he entered her office and closed the door behind himself.

"Nothing, just _another_ complaint about your job cuts." Giving him a glare as he rolled his eyes she prepared herself to start this conversation with him but it was over before it could even start. Her mobile phone ringing completely halted the situation. She huffed at the word _Private_ displayed across her phone screen before answering it voilently.

"Hello, Connie Beauchamp speaking."

"..."

Sam was watching her facial expression, as if trying to guess who it was by reading her face. His frown matched hers when she slammed her mobile back on to her desk.

"Who was it?'

"I don't know, there was nobody there. It's been happening all day."

"Have you tried calling back?"

"No." She sat back in her chair defeatedly. "It's a private number, I can't." Suddenly realising she was straying away from the original topic, she sat forwards again. "Should I be worried?"

"About?" His puzzled face prompted her to expand.

"My job, should I be worried?"

"Well." He started carefully, making her stomach lurch slightly. "You do have the biggest annual salary but ultimately, no." He took a seat on her office couch. "I couldn't do that to you."

"What if I walked away? Would you still be making as many cuts?"

"Walking away would be a stupid idea that'd you regret, you know it and I know it." He raised an eyebrow knowingly.

"I've done it before and I'd do it again if I had to." Her tone of voice let him know she meant business. "I sacrificed my job for Elliot Hope and I'd do the same for anyone else in this department who has more worth than I do."

"The answer is yes, even if you walked out, cuts are still going to be made regardless. You leaving wouldn't solve anything, especially as Clinical Lead."

"We _can't_ afford to lose any more staff members, Sam. This department can't run on any less than we have now. These cuts are going to cost lives, patients are being put at risk."

"Connie, my hands are tied." He gave her a genuinely sympathetic look. "They're really pushing for cuts, as Medical Director that's what I have to do. I can't reason with them over this, their minds are made up."

She nodded slowly, her pleas wouldn't change anything. "Things are going to get _really, really_ messy around here soon. I can't emphasise that enough, I just hope you know the repercussions this is going to have, not just on the patients but the staff as well."

"I know what's coming, and I'm ready for it." He was speaking so surely of himself, part of her wanted to slap him but another part of her wanted to warn him, even _protect_ him from what was soon to be coming his way.

The silence engulfed them, it wasn't necessarily uncomfortable, just slightly awkward. Her desk phone soon fixed that as it rang out loudly.

"Here we go again." She huffed and grabbed the receiver. "Connie Beauchamp speaking."

"..." She waited impatiently before yelling hello again but still nothing. Sam had risen to his feet by this time, taking the receiver from her and holding it up to his ear.

"...Connie?" A quivering voice spoke into his ear. It almost made him shiver.

"No, this is Sam Strachan, Medical Director at Holby City Hospital." He frowned. "Who is this?" The phone disconnected instantly as the person on the other end hung up. "Hello?"

"Who was it?" The concern was written all over her face as she watched him frown at the phone before placing it back down again.

"I don't know, it was a man. He knew who you were, he asked if it was you." They were interrupted for a second time as Sam's phone sang out in his pocket. He pulled it out and smiled seeing the caller ID. "It's Gracie, I should probably go." He smiled small. "I'll let you know about lunch." He was half way out of the door already and answered whilst he was walking out towards reception, leaving her alone to ponder.

 _Who the hell keeps calling?_ She wondered angrily to herself as she gathered her coat, bag and phone up in preparation to leave. _Pain in the arse._ Finally getting her coat on, she threw her bag over one shoulder and got her car keys out at the ready, smiling at Charlie as she headed out into the car park, although it was technically almost summer, the air was still cold as anything and the sky was dark already at 8pm. Her car lights flashed orange twice as she unlocked it from a couple of steps away.

"Connie." She jumped out of her skin as a figure emerged from the shadows nearby. Her voice caught in her throat, preventing her from even making a sound. "We need to talk, I've been calling you for the last few weeks. I just don't know what to say when I hear you answer."

 *****Oops, cliffhanger lol I hope this chapter was okay for you all! I actually never plan chapters, Idk if that sounds weird but it's actually fun for me to write because I do it all freehand so it's almost a surprise for me too! I hope you all enjoyed it and THANK YOU THANK THANK YOU for all of the reviews! Please leave more reviews for me to read, I love reading them and knowing that I'm on the right track and that you guys are happy with how things are going!*****


	9. Chapter 9: Left Turn

***I will never stop thanking you all for the reviews, honestly, it means so much to me so THANK YOU! Glad you're all still enjoying! I hope this chapter is okay for you all! And please, please review!***

Her throat felt dry, her body numb and there was a loud ringing in her ears. She wasn't sure if it was really there or if the silence between them was actually deafening. Her mind started ticking again slowly as she tried to piece together what he was saying about her drunken night 5 weeks earlier. He didn't want to discuss the matter out in the dark, Hospital car park and had somehow managed to persuade into driving them to hers to talk things through, and now here they were.

"Is that your daughter?" He smiled warmly as he picked up a picture of Grace. "Her father, he's the surgical registrar you had? The one that helped me in the Hospital reception that time after my appeal in court?" He was trying to be friendly but she felt like she'd just been hit by a bus. Her lifeless expression and lack of conversation alerted him to this. "You really don't remember anything about that night, do you?" There was a hint of sadness in his voice but right now she didn't care. A strong mixture of anger and panic was building up inside her. How was he acting so casually about any of this?

"You took advantage of me, Michael."

"What?" His brows furrowed into a worried arch as he tried to move closer to her but she dodged his attempt at doing so. "No, Connie! I would never!"

"If I was too drunk to remember, then I was too drunk to have consented, Michael." Her voice wavered with anger. How was he sat here trying to justify having sex with her when she was too drunk to have even held herself up that night? She felt sick to her stomach remembering all the bruising on her inner thighs and upper arms. She couldn't believe she was ever married to this man. Standing up quickly, she moved over to the sink and grabbed a glass of water. She couldn't even look at him right now.

"That night meant everything to me, you _know_ I would never do that to you!" He tried to step closer again but she halted him with one hand held up.

"Don't you dare come any closer." There was tremor in her voice and it made him frown with worry.

"I don't understand, we talked everything through, you said you wanted to give _us_ another go."

"I was _drunk,_ Michael." Her words were sharper than a knife, stabbing into him with force. "I remember nothing, I don't even remember _seeing_ you. As far as I know the last time I saw you was well over ten years ago before you went abroad!" She was yelling now, and not just small angry words, she was yelling the house down. "And now you're telling me we _slept together_ that night and _re-kindled our relationship_?! To use your exact words!" She stared at him expectantly.

"Yes, we did, we both agreed-"

"I woke up with _bruises_ all over my arms, all over my legs and I have _no_ recollection of how they got there. If that was me _agreeing_ then I hate to burst your bubble, Michael but I think that's called _rape._ " There was a deathly silence between the two of them. His stance changed drastically as a sick smile twisted across his face. He switched from a grovelling, pathetic ex-husband declaring his undying love into a sadistic, power hungry sociopath in the space of only two seconds and it terrified her.

"You know you _liked_ it."

That was it, anything she could grab within close proximity to her was being hurled at his head. You name it, she threw it. The mixture of this disgusting revelation and her built up frustration, anger and sadness over the last couple of months was all coming out in this one moment. He obviously hadn't predicted this kind of reaction, the look on his face said it all as he shielded his head and face, retreating away from her.

"Connie, please!" He dodged a plate. "That came out wrong! What I meant-"

"Get out!" Her rampage continued, place mats, fruit, cutlery, glassware, everything before her was being launched at his head.

"Connie, stop!" The final straw was the kitchen doorstop, heavy, large and concussion inducing material if thrown at someone's skull, she threw it as hard she could. Unfortunately she just missed his head but he'd finally reached the front door. She was breathless and shaking.

"Get out, before I call the police." She growled with a curled lip, the grim tone of her voice made him swallow hard. She'd shopped him in to the police once before, he knew she'd definitely do it again.

"This isn't how I imagined this would go down, I didn't mean it to come out like that-" He silenced himself immediately seeing her grab the vase on the hallway side table. It shattered against the back of the front door as he slammed it behind himself.

The adrenaline pumping through her body had every part of her shaking. Her jaw was uncontrollable as it chattered her teeth together. She felt sick. She'd spent all this time fooling herself into believing those bruises meant nothing and now she was faced with the sickest, most disgusting reality of all. Raped, by her own ex-husband. Her stomach churned as she hugged herself and walked slowly across the layer of broken glass and china littering the floor, back into the kitchen. She was trying to concentrate on her breathing before it got too out of hand. Taking a seat gingerly on one of her dining chairs she hunched over herself and allowed Charlie's words to soothe her, coaching her through her breaths in her mind. It must have taken fifteen minutes or so to calm herself, as soon as she was back in rhythm the urge to throw up became too much. Darting to the kitchen sink, her defeated body retched as she threw up into the white porcelain basin. She could hear her heartbeat in her head. Before she knew it she was walking cautiously to her lounge room, seating herself on the edge of her couch as she continued to hug her arms close to her self. Her teeth were still chattering together as she pulled the couch throw around herself. She was in shock.

/

There was a slight feeling of guilt he carried with him at the moment, not only because of the job cuts and the pressure of being Medical Director but these patient notes he had of Connie's were playing on his mind. He hadn't taken a look at them since the night Charlie called him when Connie had collapsed in resus. A huge part of him wanted to look through the notes more thoroughly but another part of him knew it was wrong and he should respect her privacy. However he was, after all, Sam Strachan and curiosity always got the better of him. Now was a better time than any, Grace was tucked up in bed fast asleep and he'd already conquered a mountain of paperwork tonight. He circled around his living room in thought, halting along side the bookcase where he's stashed the notes away. Before he knew it, he was sat at his desk flicking through them slowly, letting each page be etched into his brain.

 _Pregnant at Fifteen, Connie. What were you thinking?_ He thought as he read. _Miscarried at nine weeks._ He skipped ahead a few more pages. There was a second pregnancy, in her early Thirties. _Aborted at Five weeks._ He furrowed his brows sadly. Reading this was like reading a tell-all, unauthorised biography of her life. The earlier pages were more concerning, he could only guess that she didn't have a very happy childhood. Judging by the amount of times she was admitted for obvious child abuse injuries, he couldn't help but feel sorry for her and finally understand why she's like she is today.

"Dad?" Her small voice startled him as he quickly shoved the papers into the top drawer of his desk and locked it before turning to face her.

"Hey, you." He smiled. "It's after midnight, what are you doing up?" He swivelled in his chair to look at her properly.

"I couldn't sleep." She looked down sadly, playing with the waist rope on her dressing gown.

"You feeling okay?" The concern in his voice cracked through immediately. He could see she was on the verge of opening up about something.

"What if I've forgotten everything?"

"Forgotten everything?" He repeated back in confusion as he moved over to the couch and sat her down with him.

"At school, when I go back next week." It finally clicked with him.

"Don't be daft." Squeezing her tight, he smiled when her felt her laugh beneath his grip. "You'll be fine, you're wise beyond your years as it. Probably all the educational things your Mum makes us buy you." They both laughed.

"So she can come for lunch tomorrow?"

"I haven't messaged her yet, I'll send her a text now." He squeezed her again as she yawned. "But not until you've got yourself back into bed! Come on." He stood up and kissed her goodnight, watching her head back upstairs before texting Connie. He knew it was late but knowing Connie she'd still be up.

 ** _Gracie wants to do lunch tomorrow, anywhere Italian is apparently fine by her. We'll pick you up at 1pm. :)_**

He was hesitant about the smiley face at the end but it was too late now, he'd sent it.

/

"Dad, you said she was coming." She pleaded, with him from the back of the car. They'd been parked outside for Five minutes after texting her that they were there.

"Well, technically madam, I said she hadn't replied yet but I know she has today off." He stared out to her house and quickly glanced at the time on his watch. "Wait here, I'll go and see if she's ready."

Normally he'd have her just follow him in but she was still a little slow at moving in and out of the car. He squinted at the window as he jumped the step to her front door, he went to knock but frowned upon seeing blood on the door handle. He had a really weird feeling in his stomach. He decided against knocking, when did he ever knock anyway? Opening the door slowly, it crunched over the broken glass collected at the bottom of the door and the feeling in his stomach remained anxious.

"Connie?" He called out up the stairs and scanned the hallway around him. There was broken glass and what looked like plates everywhere. The odd piece of fruit here and there too. Following the path of destruction into what he could only guess was the start of this kitchenware explosion, his own gasp was audible to himself. It honestly looked like a bomb had hit her kitchen. There was a small amount of blood on the table top too. "Connie?" He yelled out again, starting to worry now. Stepping through the piles of shattered plates and glasses he made his way into her living room. His search coming to an end when he saw her curled up on her couch asleep. Moving over to her quickly, he knelt down at her side and shook her gently. "Connie? Connie?" Raising his voice slightly, he quickened the pace on his shaking, finally getting a small stir from her. "Connie, it's Sam."

"Hm."

"It's Sam." He spoke loud and clear, placing a firmer grip on her when she started to panic. Still in a sleepy state, he accidentally startled her.

"Jesus." She clamped her hand on her chest, recovering from the fright.

"It's okay, it's okay." He reassured. "It's me." There was quiet as she relaxed a little, his voice bringing her back to the moment. "What the hell happened in here?"

"What?"

"Your house has been trashed? You okay?" His eyes scanned over her, searching for the source of a small bleed. Bingo. Her hand had a cut across it's palm. "Let me have a look at that." He reached out for her wrist, jumping when she flinched away. The sudden realisation of last night's events were quickly flooding back into her memory. She briefly thought it had been a horrible dream but looking at the mess around her, she figured it must have been reality.

"What happened, Connie? Did somebody break in?" He was being so nice to her, it made her want to crumble and cry but that would only reaffirm to herself and him that something bad had happened.

"Yes..." She trailed off, holding her head gently. "I, uh, I don't think they took anything."

"Right, well I'm gonna call the police, then I'm taking a look at your hand-"

"No, no. Please." She stood up quickly, the couch throw dropping to the floor and pooling around her feet. She was still in yesterday's clothes. "I didn't see what they looked like and, I'm pretty sure nothing was, y'know, taken..." He stared at her blankly, she was acting incredibly odd.

"Well, they can't just get away with this. Look what they've done to your house." He'd followed her into the kitchen, looking over the damage in the room again.

"Yeah, well, they already have." Her voice was small, quiet and defeated. She was only thinking of Michael, obviously Sam had no idea.

"I'll tell Gracie we'll reschedule, then drop her off at Hugo's and I'll come back and give you a hand clearing this up."

"Reschedule?" The moment Grace's name was mentioned, she felt a rush of warmth hit her heart.

"Lunch? I sent you a text last night? I said we'd take her out for lunch."

"No." She sighed, realising she'd forgotten. "Don't reschedule." Running her hand over the top of her head, she combed her fingers through her hair as she did so. "Let me have a shower and clean myself up a bit and I'll just meet you there."

"Connie-"

"We're not rescheduling. I'll meet you there." She spoke loudly on her way out of the kitchen, she needed to bury herself in jobs and activities. Avoid sitting around and thinking, that's how she got through everything damaging in her life, so why should this be any different.

/

Her level of boredom was about to peak, glancing up from her new phone she appointed her eyes to her Mother's front door when she heard footsteps. It was her dad, he looked annoyed. This could only mean one thing. She wasn't coming. Preparing for disappointment, she took a deep breath and awaited his apology when the car door closed. He didn't speak. Instead he turned the key in the ignition and started the car.

"She's not coming, is she?" Her sad little voice made his heart drop but at least he could reassure her she was wrong. He was just feeling more concerned for Connie right now.

"Of course she is." He smiled. "She's just running a little late, that's all."

"So, we're leaving without her?"

"She's meeting us there."

"Why don't we just wait for her. I want us all to go _together._ You know, like _normal_ families do?" He turned the key back around again, plunging them into silence once the engine stopped running. As soon as he turned to look at her she was smiling wide again knowing full well that she was getting her own way.

"She might be while."

"Let's go wait inside then." She pulled the handle but his voice stopped her.

"No, Gracie." Her concerned face urged him to get the rest of his sentence out quickly before she got too worried. "Don't worry, Mum's absolutely fine but somebody broke in last night."

"Broke in?"

"Yeah." He sighed. "There's a lot of broken glass on the floor, it's not safe so we'll just wait in the car. Okay?"

"But Mum-"

"Is fine, I promise, she just hasn't had chance to clean things up yet." They both moved their attention back to the front door when they heard it close loudly, her keys jangling as she headed towards her car. He waved his hand out of the window, grabbing her attention. "See, she's fine." He smiled back at Grace, trying to assess whether his lie had worked, luckily it had.

As they set off, the car was pretty silent to begin with but Connie's attempts at covering up the fact that she was a crumbling mess involved her doing a lot of talking and acting _normal._ So that's exactly what she tried to do. Sam kept stealing the odd glance at her, trying to see if she was okay and she seemed relatively fine. Perhaps the break-in had just shaken her a little? Still, it was strange to find Connie Beauchamp snoozing on the couch at one o'clock in the afternoon.

"Here we are." Sam spoke cheerily as the pulled up into a parking space. "Giovanni's, the perfect Italian restaurant you requested."

"I'm starving!" She grinned and helped herself out of the car, smiling at her mum before they all entered the establishment and were seated at a booth in the back.

"How surprising." He said sarcastically. "A pizza for Gracie and a salad for Connie. You two are so predictable." Smiling behind his menu he felt a swift kick to his left knee followed be an eruption of laughter from Grace.

"Alright, Mr Exciting, what are you ordering?" Grace quipped, attempting to win one over on her Father for his un-welcomed sarcasm. Usually it was her Mum making that sort of comment but she was being strangely quiet today.

"Well, I do like to live life on the edge, so I think I'm going to go for-"

"A pepperoni pizza, with no basil and no fresh tomato." Grace's quick answer and smug face made Connie smile for the first time today. She loved seeing her daughter this happy.

"Am I really that boring and predictable?" He acted shocked, smiling harder when Grace gave him a deadpan face. His smile faded slowly when he caught a glimpse of Connie's face. Her complexion had turned an alarming shade of white. "You okay, Connie?" His eyes remained fixed on her as she rose to her feet quickly.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She stammered. "Excuse me for a minute." She disappeared around the corner and into the ladies toilets, leaving Sam and Grace to exchange concerned glances.

"Shall I go and see if she's okay, Dad?"

"No, you know what, I think she's just a bit shaken up after last night." He tried to reassure her but his concern had actually increased now, thankfully Grace bought his lie though.

Over in the ladies room, she was struggling to even throw up anymore. Her stomach was too empty. Moving out of the cubicle she stood herself at the sink, splashing her face with cool water before washing her hands. An extremely awful thought was plaguing her mind, she just hoped this wasn't what she thought it was. _Ignore it, Connie._ She closed her eyes hard and shook her head, dabbing her face with a hand towel to dry off the splashes of water. _You're here for Grace, pull yourself together._ Staring at her own reflection she gave herself a firm pep talk before heading out to rejoin them in the booth. She flashed Grace a comforting smile as she sat down, letting her know all was well. Too bad it wasn't convincing enough for Sam though.

 ***This chapter is a little shorter sorry but more content, I plan to post more frequently so my chapters will all be around the 3,000-4,000 word count. I hope you enjoyed this! Please, please, please review!***


	10. Chapter 10: Broken

***Guys, I honestly cannot thank you all enough! These reviews you're leaving are** ** _amazing!_** **Thank you all, so, so much! They really encourage me to write and I'm not just saying that! The first thing I do after posting is check my emails and I get so excited reading them all that I make a cup of tea, whip my laptop out and start writing the next chapter! I hope you enjoy this one as much as the last! Please, please review!***

The car was completely silent now. They'd finished up their lunch and had all seemingly had a great time with each other. Apart from the burning fire inside Connie's head. She kept her gaze fixed out of the window on the the passing greenery and houses. They'd just dropped Grace off at Hugo's, she was slightly relieved that she could drop the rosy act and now they were headed back to her house. The house she really didn't want to face at this very moment in time.

"Stop." She murmured so lightly, Sam actually had to lean away from the steering wheel to catch her words.

"'What?"

"Stop." She closed her eyes, breathing slowly. Unfastening her seatbelt before he'd even began slowing. "Stop, stop the car."

He didn't hesitate, judging by the look on her face he knew what was coming. He pulled into a lay-by, almost skidding to a stop as she hurled herself out of the car. It was pretty obvious that she was throwing up. He wanted to give her some privacy but at the same time he wanted to see if she was okay too. He knew she'd only snap at him if he even so much as undid his seatbelt so he waited patiently, trying hard to ignore the struggle she was going through. She was silent when she got back in the car, presumably embarrassed knowing Connie.

"Look, maybe we should take you in, you don't look so well-"

"I'm fine." She trailed off, avoiding his worried gaze. "Must've eaten something bad yesterday." Smoothing out her scarf she tried her best to smile but even he could see that looked like a struggle.

"Right." His uncertainty was blatantly obvious as he restarted the car. "But there's no way I'm letting you clean up that mess alone, argue all you want about that."

She didn't. In fact she was slightly glad she wasn't facing the mess alone but at the same time she knew Sam and knew he'd be asking a million and one questions when they got there.

She was one hundred percent correct. As soon as they pulled up in her driveway, he started his run-down. They hadn't even entered the house yet.

"One of them must have cut themselves." He pointed at her front door-handle, the blood staining it was a horrible brown colour now. "You did say there was two, right?"

"Hm? Oh, yeah. Two, definitely two." He squinted as his mind swirled with thoughts. She was so unbothered by all of this. The Connie he knew would have been on a rampage for revenge. Calling the police would have been the first thing she would have done. So why was she so hellbent on not calling them? He continued to think as he followed her inside.

"I'll make a start on the kitchen, you go and sit down for a bit-"

"No, I'm fine. Let's just get this over with." She looked around, trying to find a good place to start. How had she made so much mess?

"And you're sure they didn't take anything? Have you checked everywhere upstairs?"

"No." She continued looking around, unaware that he was still staring at her, awaiting a proper answer. "I mean, no nothing was taking and yes, I've checked upstairs. Everything is still here." Her answers were becoming more snippy and irritable, maybe he should tread carefully now?

"They've made a hell of a mess." He trailed off as they both began picking things up and dumping them into bin bags. "Looks like they sort of just broke all of your kitchenware to be honest." She remained silent, inviting him to continue rambling as they cleared. "I mean, why break into someone's house, _not_ take anything but still trash the place?"

"Oh, you know what?" She needed to stop him from putting things together in his mind. "I, uh, I think they took some jewellery." She knew she sounded transparent but hopefully he'd buy it.

"But you said-"

"I know." She snapped but tried to soften it with a smile. "I went to get my earrings before we left and they, uh, they weren't there. Not where I left them anyway."

"Were they valuable?"

"Price-wise, of course but thankfully they had no sentimental value." God, the lies were just tumbling out now. He acted along with her but knew damn well she was lying. He wasn't stupid.

It took them Forty minutes to finally clear away the mess, most of it in silence with the odd comment made every couple of minutes. He'd just thrown the last bin bag out, relieved to see her sat down with a cup of coffee.

"So." He started quickly, jumping straight into it. "Are you going to tell me what _really_ happened here last night?" She stopped moving, calculating the next lie she was about to spin.

"I already told you-"

"A huge bunch of lies, Connie." He folded his lips together and took a seat at the table opposite her. "I'm not stupid, this wasn't a break-in. Nothing was taken and nothing has been rifled through. Looks more like a heated domestic dispute took place in here." The whole time he was speaking he was watching her face attentively, trying to catch her out. Sometimes her facial expressions gave away more information than her spoken words did. She was like a puzzle at the best of times. She wasn't speaking back though. "Was it Jacob?"

"What?" The shock in her voice knocked him back a bit. "No, he would never."

"Well, then who was it?

"It wasn't anyone, I've already told you!" She snapped. "You know what? I don't know why I'm telling you this." She laughed with disbelief and smoothed her hands over her face with exhaustion. "Believe what you want."

"You're impossible. I want to help you, Connie. I really do." He sighed. "Not just for your sake but Grace's too, she's so much happier when we get along but I can't get past this brick wall you continuously put up." She could hear the genuine sympathy in his voice but he also sounded extremely frustrated. "It's always as if I take two steps towards you and you take two steps back. I _know_ you as a person, extremely well but I don't really know anything _about_ you because you don't let anyone get that far. Just small things that I don't know and should know, like the other day Gracie asked me what your Mother's name was and I didn't have a clue." He stopped suddenly, surprised he'd been able to talk for so long without her interrupting. "We're in this until the day we _die,_ Connie. This relationship is more tying than marriage."

She'd never once looked at it like that and it gave her a weird feeling of comfort, she had no idea why. Perhaps it was knowing that someone was always going to be there right until the very end? He was right, she _hated_ admitting that but everything he'd just said made a lot of sense and she couldn't believe she hadn't looked at their situation like that before.

"Not right now." She whispered softly as she held her coffee mug tight. He could see she was trying to smile but her eyes were filling up quickly. "Please."

He exhaled with relief, had he finally got on to the other side of the wall? "Okay." He soothed. "Not now, but tomorrow we need to talk." Phrasing his sentence as a demand rather than a question, he was determined she wasn't getting out of this one. Her solum nod shook the tears from her bottom lid, obviously catching her by surprise as she quickly swiped them away and stood up swiftly.

"Thank you, for, uh, cleaning this place up." She immediately turned her back to him, heading to the sink to rinse her mug.

"No problem. I'm just relieved you left at least two mugs in tact." He smiled at her now still frame. He knew she'd smashed all of the plates, cups and glasses. His latter comment just confirmed that for her. "I should probably go get Gracie." He stood up slowly. "You gonna be okay?"

"Me?" She tried to step out of her emotional rut for Five seconds in order to answer him. She couldn't look at him right now, she was crying and he knew it. "I'm fine." Her movements stopped as she wiped at her nose. "Tell Gracie Good Luck from me. For school tomorrow."

"Of course." He drummed his fingers on the table and grabbed his keys, hovering for a second to give her a chance to turn around but he knew she wouldn't. He left without another word. As soon as she heard the front door close she collapsed. She felt like an emotional wreck. After a few moments of silent sobbing she exhaled slowly.

"Come on, Connie." She whispered to herself. "Get a grip." She sniffed and stood up quickly, wiping away her tears. "You don't do crying." Re-installing routine as quickly as possible she put away the washed mugs and wiped down the dining room table before heading upstairs. Time to bite the bullet, so to speak. Opening her en-suite bathroom cabinet she pulled out a pregnancy test. It'd been sat in there for a while, she had a scare after that spontaneous trip to Romania. Thankfully her cycle started more or less two days after she and Charlie returned to Holby and she never needed to use it. However, she did now though and she felt numb.

The Hospital was abuzz the next morning, the junior doctors were planning a strike, two naked men had started a brawl in reception and Noel had almost electrocuted himself. Never a dull moment in the ED and it was about to get a whole lot more interesting. Sam had dropped Grace off for her first day back at school, there were tears but he had already foreseen that, comforted her, wished her luck from both himself and Connie and waved her off. It's exactly what she needed. To get back into a normal routine, doing normal things. It was a nice moment but as soon as she'd disappeared into the school building his work brain turned on. He had so much to do and so much to think about with the upcoming strike and job cuts. He hardly knew where to start but the coffee he was queueing for in reception would soon help that.

"Maybe he could be her brother or something?" Robyn was stood talking to Alicia and Louise, rocking her baby gently. She was only visiting but still ended up having a gossip with her friends.

"Robyn, Beauchamp is her _married_ name. If anything, he's got to be her ex-husband. Right?" Louise corrected her before looking to Alicia for agreement.

"Not necessarily." She laughed, taking a sip from her takeout cup before noticing Louise's bemused face. "What? I'm just sayin', Beauchamp isn't such an uncommon name y'know? Could just be someone completely random."

"Yeah but it's not exactly the most common name in Holby either, is it?" Louise sniped back, she hated being wrong.

"Are we striking already? Or are any of you actually going to start working any time soon?" Sam's voice startled them all. They were huddled at the nurse's station outside resus.

"Sorry, Mr Strachan." Alicia sat her cup down and slid her stethoscope around her neck, grabbing some patient notes as they moved off. "I'm still waiting for Mrs Beauchamp, patient in resus has a head wound and a metal spike embedded in the chest. All the other consultants have their hands full." She watched his face, his eyes rolling slightly as he sat his coffee down.

"I can give you _ten_ minutes maximum, until Connie gets here." He walked along side her into resus. "Name?"

"Actually that's what we were just discussin', it's Michael Beauchamp." She smiled mischievously before whispering lowly. "Is it Connie's ex?" Sam however was frozen as he looked on at the bloodied up man laying before him. He was unconscious. The trance Sam had slipped into told Alicia that she was right. "Oh my God. He is isn't he?" Her eyes lit up with that familiar spark of hospital gossip.

"That is absolutely _none_ of your business." His words were icy and harsh.

"Alright, I was just askin'." She curled her lip with attitude, not enjoying how small he was making her feel but unbeknownst to her, he'd just put two and two together in his head. Michael was at Connie's that night.

"I'll handle this one, you can take cubicles for the rest of the day."

"Hold on." She folded her arms irritably. "I can manage, Sam." Her voice ceased in her throat when he turned around with such speed she honestly felt a little threatened. His voice was at a low, harsh whisper.

"The immaturity you just displayed tells me you can't, so, until you can actually act your age and show some sign of professionalism, you're in cubicles."

"You can't do that-"

"Now."

They had a mini stare off for less than Four seconds before she shook her head and retreated. Ensuring she made the door bang on the way out to signal her anger. She was the least of his worries. Now he had to try and deal with this without letting Connie get involved. Surely it was no coincidence that he just shows up out of nowhere the day after Connie's house was _broken into_. He approached the bed, sanitising his hands as he got closer to David who was cleaning up Michael's bloodied face.

"Listen, don't tell-"

"Don't tell Mrs Beauchamp. Already got it." His awkwardness reminded him of Joseph Byrne.

"Great." He rubbed his hands together. "So, do we know what happened?" Picking up his notes, he had a quick flick through as David started to give him the run-down.

"He's been drinking and apparently crashed his car into a concrete bollard near some metal fencing. Knocked out at the scene, hasn't regained consciousness since." He stopped to make sure Sam was listening and continued. "Trauma to the head, I haven't cleaned it up properly yet but it looks to be only superficial and he has a piece of fencing through his chest. Should just pull out, I don't think it's punctured anything or gone any deeper than the rib cage. I believe it's just wedged between the ribs."

"Okay, thanks." He closed the notes and turned his focus back to Michael. "We'll send him up to X-Ray, confirm the positioning on the embedded spike, get him up to CT too. I want his neck cleared and we'll get this krykoid off before removing the metal."

"Not a problem." He nodded eagerly. "But what if-"

"Connie comes in? We'll cross that bridge when we get to it." He tried to give him a reassuring smile but he still looked a little worried. "Keep me posted." Sanitising his hands again he exited resus, grabbing his coffee on the way past the nurses station again. Now he needed to find Connie before she found Michael.

She felt like she was in some sort of doleful music video this morning. She felt nothing. Getting up, having breakfast, driving to work. Each action was just handled automatically. Almost as if her mind and body knew she was in shock and went into autopilot. She sat in her car for about Ten minutes, just trying to convince herself to go inside. That was the only action autopilot had failed on. She was shaken from her thoughts and jumped out of her skin hearing her phone buzzing away in her bag. Rummaging around for a fraction of a second she pulled it out, only to smile when she saw it was a text from Grace.

 **Hope you're feeling better, Mum! School is still as boring as ever but I'm glad to be back. xx**

She felt her cheeks starting to ache from smiling, quickly sending one back she sighed out her cooped up emotion and dropped her phone back into her bag. That one little text had boosted her more than she could even explain. Grace gave her so much purpose, so much life it was amazing. Of course she always had some sort of purpose, her job entailed saving lives but being a Mother brought a whole different meaning to being _needed._ This once tiny person she'd produced relied on her one hundred percent for everything and still did and probably would until the end of her life. That would always keep her going, no matter through what hardship or personal drama. And this instance was no different. Feeling re-energised, she opened her car door with meaning and strutted her way inside.

She repeated almost the same mundane routine Sam had, straight to the coffee queue. Once she had her liquid life, she headed to her office. Dumping all of her stuff in there as she slipped her stethoscope around her neck and headed back out to the nurses station. Catching sight of someone, she stopped in her tracks and reversed a little.

"Dr Munroe? Why are you in cubicles?" She looked the patient up and down, before landing her attention on Alicia's extremely bemused face.

"Ask Mr Strachan." She threw a little frustration and sass into her words as she helped her patient down into a wheelchair. He was one of the two naked reception brawlers. During the fight he'd been hit with a glass bottle across the buttocks. Hence Connie's rather inquisitive looking up and down of him. "You're needed in resus, by the way." She knew as soon as the words left her mouth she shouldn't have said it but she was just so furious at the way Sam was acting and treating her, she didn't care any more.

Connie's face had reddened a little with anger. Although Sam was being extremely good with herself and Grace, he wasn't half being a pain in the arse at work. How dare he move around her staff without consulting her. This particular patient could have been seen to by a nurse. Huffing as calmly as she could she strutted her way towards resus, her red bottoms clicking on the floor with each step.

Inside resus, David's heart jumped into his throat upon hearing those familiar clicks, Connie was headed their way. Sam had come back into resus to give him a hand after failing to find Connie anywhere.

"Mr Strachan." He almost bleated his name, like a small, nervous sheep. "She's approaching." Sam's attention immediately moved to the door, he could see her rounding the corner angrily. Swiftly tearing his gloves off, he tried to race her to the door but she was on a mission by the looks of it and pretty much met him in the doorway.

"Why have I just seen Dr Munroe seeing to a minor flesh wound that could easily have been dealt with by a nurse?" She barked before he'd even finished leaving resus. "We're understaffed as it is and you have a junior doctor dealing with _that_

Connie-"

"No." She interrupted him at great speed. "From now on, you don't tell my staff what to do or where to be. That's _my_ job."

"You finished?" He gave back as good as she did. "Because I need to talk to you."

"Can't it wait?" She snarled and motioned to the resus doors. "Alicia said I was needed in resus."

"It's been dealt with, David and I saw to him. He's fine. Now a word, please." He put his hand on her lower back, rushing through his sentences. He just wanted to get her somewhere private where he could explain to her that Michael was here. Her eye-roll combined with a light huff made him dread telling her.

He followed her though to her office and closed the door behind himself. He was honestly just going to blurt it out and have it over with but their wires had already been crossed. Connie assumed, wrongly, that this was the _talk_ he wanted to have that he mentioned yesterday. She was tackling things head on now, that's what she used to do in the past and it always worked. She had no idea what had changed over these last couple of years but she decided she needed to be like that again once again. So, here goes nothing.

"It was Michael." She was speaking firmly and it kind of put his mind at peace but at the same time he felt like he was stood there blinking at her for Five minutes in absolute shock. It took him a moment to catch on to what she was talking about, there was no introduction to her confession, she just kind of leaped into it. She wanted to get it over with. "He was the one repeatedly calling my phone." Shaking her head, she looked down as she leant forward and rested her hands on her desktop. "He was loitering around in the car park when I left and said he needed to speak to me, somewhere private-"

"So you took him back to yours." He interrupted and pulled his bottom lip between his teeth after he'd spoken. He could tell she was still edgy about the whole situation by the way she was holding herself but she was powering on through it like the old Connie Beauchamp normally would.

"He told me he wanted us to try again, the same old grovelling apologies and a great deal of _I've changed_ stories." She shrugged and took a deep breath, not waiting for him to interrupt. "Then we had an argument and I smashed all of my kitchenware." She more or less told the truth with a few lies added, she just fast-forwarded through the truthful bits, skipped the most vile part of the situation and kept quiet on the fact that she was indeed carrying his child.

 ***Thanks so much for reading guys! I hope this isn't becoming predictable? I'm worried you guys might get bored of how slow things are moving but I've read a lot of fanfics, from other fandoms as well as this one, that have things moving at such a rapid pace it almost seems rushed. I don't want this fic to be like that but please let me know if I'm doing the opposite and having things move far too slowly. Hope you enjoyed and please, please, please review!***


	11. Chapter 11: Havoc

***Thanks so much again for the fab reviews, you guys are amazing! So thrilled that you're still liking the storyline so far! I'm not sure how long I was intending this fic to be? Perhaps twenty chapters or so? I'm still pondering on that one! I know the whole pregnancy storyline is predictable and 99% of fanfics do involve it but it was the only key storyline that I could work other situations around, if that makes sense :) Regardless of that, hope everything else is still enjoyable! Please, please, review! The amount of reviews I received for the last chapter had me writing this one pretty much straight away, it's a nice long one too!***

He couldn't sit on it any longer, she was mid sentence, talking about her ex-husband making an unwelcome appearance and here he was about to tell her he'd popped up again. Word vomit was about to happen.

"He's here." They just sort blurted out, cutting her off suddenly. She looked stunned.

"Sorry?"

"Michael." His eyebrows knitted together, a worried expression tainting his face. "He's here." There was a gap in their flowing conversation as her thoughts raced.

"Get rid of him, I'll call security-"

"No, no I mean he's been admitted as a patient. He's in resus, they're working on him now."

There was nothing but silence between them. Her facial expression hadn't faltered once, there was no sign of worry or intrigue as to how he was or what'd happened to him. Sam was a little reluctant to open his mouth again, it must have been bad between them for her to have ordered that security be called. She looked down, placing her hands on her hips as she smoothed her tongue over her top lip.

"What's wrong with him?" She slightly hissed the words at him as she swiped a letter from her desk tray and began opening it violently. Performing a task or doing something when she was feeling uncomfortable helped to draw people's attention to her actions and away from her facial expression or body language. She was a master at disguising her emotions like that. She'd had a lot of practice.

"He's crashed his car. Drink-driving." He added. "And he has a piece of metal fencing lodged between his ribs." The room was quiet again, but he felt like he could hear her thinking.

"Make sure he's stable, remove the fencing and get him transferred to St James's."

"I'll get Dr Keogh on to it." He nodded, finalising her decision. There was no way he wanted to argue with her on this one, she looked harassed. She was almost like a cat in that sense, she had tell-tales signs that warned others of her shortening temper.

"I don't care who does it, just keep him the hell away from me and vice versa."

"What were you arguing about?" His voice was delicate in volume and tone, he was merely querying for her welfare but was unsure of how she'd react to his question.

"What?" She knew damn well _what._ That was just an easier way of acting aloof, she didn't want to discuss it. Ever. That was an extremely unrealistic wish but she'd never be ready to open up about that. Sitting down in her chair slowly, she tried to calm her stomach down. It was either morning sickness again or the unnerving feeling of knowing that _he_ was in the same building as her.

"You said you and Michael had an argument that night, then you trashed your own kitchen. What was the argument about?" He raised his brows, asking silently for a response. He knew one thing, it must have been an extremely heated argument for Connie to have gone so ballistic with her plates and glassware.

"He was just being Michael." She shook her head, clenching her jaw. "Just raking old things up, causing an argument for the sake of it."

"I take it the feeling wasn't mutual then? You didn't want to give things another go with him?"

"Definitely not." She forced a small laugh and looked down. She was a laugh away from a tear at the moment and now she was struggling to keep rein of her emotions. "Not if he was the last man on Earth, God forbid that ever be the case. That he outlives all human life."

There was a knock on her office door, causing their concentration to be snatched away from the topic at hand. Connie breathed a silent thank you.

"Mr Strachan?" It was Charlie, his pink face peeping through the doorway, trying his hardest not to be interrupting anything. "The junior doctors are striking in an hour and we're still a doctor down."

"I know, they called me earlier this morning." The loud sigh at the end of his sentence indicated to Charlie and Connie his growing frustration. "I'll have to do it myself."

"You're not serious?" She leant forward, suddenly intrigued and relieved the focus was on him now. Undeniably she still felt absolutely and positively sick to the stomach with Michael laying only so many feet away from her but if she kept to the confines of her office until he was transferred there shouldn't be an issue with ignoring his presence for now.

"I haven't got a choice, Connie. The locum called in sick this morning."

"Sam, you're out of practice-"

"I did three years of Emergency Medicine in New York, in one of the busiest ER's in the entire city." He breathed slowly, he sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than her. She knew that and so did he. "I'm sure I can handle one day in the Holby City Emergency Department."

"Yes, but you haven't had to deal with such a high-pressure, and fast-paced working environment under these particular circumstances." She rose to her feet slowly. "We're severely understaffed, we'll be risking patient's lives."

"Connie's right." Charlie chimed in. "It's too risky, we'll be up to our ears in patients come five this afternoon and that's not even our busiest period. It's a Friday night, by nine we'll be overrun with drunken idiots and pissed up party animals. Excuse my language."

"I don't know what else you expect me to do?" He looked between the pair of them, awaiting their solutions but as expected they didn't have any.

"Okay." Connie nodded with a sigh. "But the minute I deem any of this unsafe or too risky for patient welfare, I'm diverting whether you like it or not." She took his silence as an agreement. "Right, well you'd better go and get scrubbed up then Mr Strachan."

/

Back over in resus, David was starting work on Michael's head, it was only a minor cut in need of some butterfly tape but his chest was another story. He'd regained consciousness but was pretty groggy and thankfully hadn't tried speaking or moving yet.

"How's it going?" Sam had entered the room quietly, now sporting some scrubs.

"Fine, I'm almost finished up here."

"What did X-Ray tell us?" He scanned over his notes again as David continued speaking.

"Exactly what we thought, nothing has being punctured or torn, the metal lies only four centimetres deep but it's positioning between the two rib bones is what'll make it difficult to remove. Essentially the bones are holding it in place."

"Might have to crack them to remove it." Sam confirmed ans bit his lip in thought as he finished up reading his notes, sitting them back at the end of the bed when he was done. A pained groan interrupted them, causing the two to exchange a glance.

"Mr Beauchamp?" David tried to get a more comprehendible noise out of him before Sam spoke up, attempting to do the same.

"Michael?"

"My wife.." He groaned out, his hand trying to find the throbbing area in his chest. "Where's my wife?"

"Does he mean Mrs Beauchamp?" David whispered lightly as Sam nodded in response.

"Michael, you've been in a car accident, okay? We need you to stay still for us." Sam spoke calmly, grabbing the man's flailing arm and laying it down by his side. "You have a large piece of metal embedded in your chest, we need to remove it."

"I want to speak to her." His words were breathy.

"She's a little busy right now."

"You." He locked eyes with Sam. "You're him, the one she had a child with. Grace."

"We need you to stay still and stop talking so much, Michael." He tried to shut him up, other staff members were starting to look on. "This metal in your chest is in a very dangerous place right now. We don't want it to dislodge and cause any further damage, do we?"

"I don't care anymore." The sentence was sighed out as he closed his eyes, breathing heavily. Sam looked at David and headed over to the corner of the room, inviting him to follow.

"I'm handing this one over to Dylan once he's available, as soon as the metal's removed we're transferring him over to St James at Connie's request. The police'll probably want to have a word with him too once he's sobered up a bit."

"And I'm assuming nobody is to know?" He looked at him innocently. "Of his identity and relation to Mrs Beauchamp I mean."

"Absolutely, the less people that know, the better." He put a hand on his shoulder supportively. "Welcome back by the way." Smiling encouragingly he pressed his lips together noticing the nervous laugh and smile he received in return.

"Talk about being thrown in at the deep on on my first day back."

"There's no other way to have it, David. It'll make the rest of your days seem breezy." Giving him a final nod he headed out in search of Dylan. The faster Michael was transferred the better, he needed all hands on deck for tonight. Little did he know things were about to get ridiculously out of hand within the next few hours.

/

It was chaos. Everywhere he looked there was chaos. Reception, cubicles, resus. Even the corridors were full of nuisance and far too many people. He was stood in a trance in the middle of reception. He wasn't ready for this at all. It was half past eight at night, almost the exact time Charlie had told him it would get crazy. His thoughts ceased immediately as two security members knocked past him in a rush. They were headed to resus.

"Michael." He whispered to himself, his face marked with realisation.

Michael still hadn't been transferred. The strike outside was causing a million and one problems, handovers between paramedics and doctors in the ED were taking far too long and the commotion collecting outside was interfering with staff coming in and out with gurneys and wheelchairs. Hence why Michael hadn't been escorted over to St James's yet. To top it off, Connie had damn well nearly chewed his head off about the Michael situation as she was desperately needed in resus and ultimately had to ignore her own personal issues and head in there regardless of whether Michael was present. Unfortunately he had no idea why she was reacting so badly to it. To make matters one hundred percent worse and a harsh situation one thousand times more intense and amplified, a gang of football rioters had been brought in with multiple injuries between them including two stab wounds and a bottled face, and now a notorious family of racist trouble-makers had piled into resus too. He could feel the sweat beading on his brow, quickly rushing through to resus behind security he brushed through the double doors, his jaw almost dropping at the sight before him.

"I suggest you roll your sleeves up and get stuck in!" Charlie yelled over heads angrily. He was dealing with the Ellison's who were arguing with Lily over the treatment of Roy.

"Where do you want me?" He asked, feeling like a trainee again, he had no initiative in him at this very moment. He got his answer when Charlie glanced over to Dylan who had handed over the job of restraining Michael to security. He'd sobered up a little at least and had the metal removed from his chest but he was bellowing across the room to Connie who was up to her elbows in blood attempting to stem a bleed on one of the stab wound victims, who was also drunk and acting out violently. She looked like she needed more help than Dylan.

"What've we got?" He sanitised and gloved up, awaiting her answer.

"Aside from a developing migraine?" She was annoyed at him, it was blatantly obvious to everyone, including the patient. "I'm trying to stem this bleed, regardless of what we do down here we'll have to send him up to Keller."

"Here, let me take over. You've got blood on your face."

"Yeah, well that's unavoidable when the patient you're trying to _help_ from bleeding to death is doing his upmost to cause a fight." The comment was sparked by Sam but one hundred percent directed at her troublesome patient who, in his drunken state, had mistaken Michael's yells for Connie as an invitation to start a fight with him. Connie was more than half tempted to let him go and do his worst but she knew that wasn't the answer.

"Alright, that's enough." He glared at her but softened the harshness of it when he caught sight of her face properly. She looked broken. Her eyes didn't show anything, just emptiness. "Go and get cleaned up, I can manage here."

He didn't have to tell her twice. Ripping her gloves off angrily, she threw them in the bin, stealing a glance at her neurotic ex-husband on the way out. This was too much, she'd been sad about it and cried about it, now she was angry about it. Just knowing that she was carrying his child made her feel nauseous. Or perhaps she actually was nauseous? She could never fathom why it was called _Morning sickness_ when it was hitting her at any time during the day. Her head was spinning as she entered the toilets and scrubbed at her bloodied arms furiously. As soon as she'd finished washing, the need to vomit was too hard to ignore. It was so quiet in there, compared to the buzz of resus, it made the act of throwing up sound so much louder than it actually was. She took a few moments to herself, gathering what little strength she had left before heading back out on to the front line. It was no less chaotic, in fact it may have even escalated. The Ellisons had finished bickering with staff and had now instead joined forces with the football rioters. Presented before her was now a divided room. Michael vs football hooligans and the Ellisons. Their colliding voices were echoing through her head, she'd finally had it.

"That is enough!" She barked ferociously at Michael, addressing him for the first time today. He silenced immediately, gathering some words together in his head.

"Connie, please?" He finally sat back in his bed, defeated as his yells had got him nowhere. "I'm your _husband._ " As soon as the words left his mouth she felt every single pair of eyes in resus focus on her frame. The room fell silent.

"Get him out of here, now." She snarled.

"You can't do this!" He kicked up again whilst she tried to keep hold of her dignity. "We're married, Connie! Please, I just want to _talk_ to you!"

The whole time this had been going on Sam felt the undying need to keep an eye on her. He didn't know why, he just felt like something was amiss.

"You okay?" He called out to her, shaking her from the stare she was locked into.

"Fine, no thanks to you." Grabbing a second pair of gloves she glared at Michael as he was wheeled out pleading and begging for her attention.

"Mrs Beauchamp, we have nowhere to put him. We'll have to hold him in the corridor until they're ready to take him to St James's."

"Do whatever you want with him, frankly, I don't really care right now." David knew her anger wasn't directed his way but still felt a little hard-done-by. It was his first day back and had to deal with this as well as feel partially to blame even though it was nothing to do with him.

That was one less pain in the arse filling the room, next on the list were the Ellisons. Before she could reach them, Jacob entered resus, he'd been in cubicles all day and was completely oblivious to the fact that the family from hell were occupying the room. His movements ceased, locking eyes with a stony-faced Denise.

"What the 'ell's he doin' in 'ere." Roy managed to croak out some hateful words, Lily was doing her best to silence them and was soon joined by Dylan. Jacob however was still motionless. His eyes flicked over to Connie, who was matching his lack of movement.

"Jacob." She stepped forward, instincts telling her to look out for him but he retreated.

"I can't be in here, sorry." It was more of a whisper than a strong, authoritative statement. He left the room, leaving Connie feeling helpless. Charlie and Duffy had somehow managed to escort the hooligans out, leaving one left in Sam's hands and then the Ellisons on the other side of the room. Things were starting to calm down, thank god.

"What was all that about?" Sam queried about Jacob as she rejoined him at the patient's bedside. He'd more or less finished up with the hooligan, he was just adding the last stitch before sending him upstairs. "That's none of your business." Her last snap pushed him over the edge.

"Look, Connie, I don't know what the hell has happened between you and Michael but none of that is _my_ fault." He hissed angrily, it sounded more malicious due to the fact that he was trying to whisper now that resus had fallen close to silent again.

"Oh, yes." She smiled sarcastically. "Because nothing is ever Sam Strachan's fault, always hard done by, never treated fairly." Her sarcasm turned sour. "If it weren't for your job cuts and the junior doctors striking, _none_ of this would have happened."

"Oh." He laughed, still whispering lowly as she had been doing also. " _My_ job cuts? I wanted these cuts as much as you did, Connie!"

"A'ight man." The patient kissed his teeth and yelled up in between them irritably, stealing Charlie's attention. "I want some other doctors treatin' me, these two are having a domestic right over the top of my head, man! Get off me!" He shoved Sam's arm away, which turned out to be a huge mistake as he ripped out the delicate stitching he'd just spent twenty minutes doing up. He cried out, his flesh reddening with blood as he started bleeding profusely. Luckily Connie was on his right side, clamping her hands over the wound.

"I've got it." She reassured as Sam moved back in to assist.

"Sam, I think you should go get cleaned up." Charlie gave him a disapproving look before flashing Connie the same one. His face was as pink as a newborn baby but he calmed down a bit when Sam didn't react verbally and left in a slight strop.

"Same for you Connie, finish up that and take a breather. We've got enough to worry about in here without having a go at each other as well." She would have argued back but he was right. She needed some air anyway. The room felt like it was closing in on her.

It took her another twenty minutes or so to fix up the damage before sending the patient off upstairs. _Good riddance_ she thought to herself before looking at Charlie, signalling to him that she was about to take that breather he'd ordered. On her way out she took a few deep breaths to realign herself and as soon as the outside air hit her she shivered at the shock of it. It was as if all of the hospital drama was left inside once she took a seat on the cold, damp bench. Out here she was burdened with other worries. She was so humiliated about the Michael situation, he'd really shown her up in there. But above all worries, the one literally laying within her was the biggest of them all but physically the smallest, how ironic. She crossed her arms over herself, attempting to keep warm. There was a decision to be made but she had no idea what to do. She'd been through an abortion before, with Michael. He hadn't even known that she'd been pregnant but she knew at the time their marriage was nose-diving, he'd been sleeping around and in return she'd started doing the same. It was definitely his baby though, she couldn't face having it because she knew it'd tie her to him forever and she didn't want that. After that awful experience and years of guilt she even still carried _now_ , there was no way she could go through a termination again. It went against everything she worked for. She saved lives, she didn't end them. Her mind swirled with thoughts as that migraine she'd mentioned continued to make her head throb. Her mind stopped ticking when she heard a mass of footsteps running around the corner. It was the hooligans, their football scarves and hats flailing in the wind as they hotfooted it away down the street. Thank god they were gone too. So much for the concern they held for their friend laying upstairs in Keller.

She let her mind relax and wander for a good fifteen minutes before heading back inside, she'd half expected to be greeted with chaos again but to her pleasant surprise it was extremely calm and under control. And thank the heavens above, Michael had finally been taken to St James's. She felt a pang of guilt for the way she spoke to Sam earlier, it was in the heat of the moment and she knew she didn't mean it.

"Connie." Charlie's voice grabbed her attention. He looked frazzled.

"Charlie, what's the matter?" She placed her hand on his upper arm worriedly.

"It's Duffy, I'm taking her home."

"Why? What's happened?" Her voice was low, fearing the worst from the Ellisons.

"No, nothing, there was just a slight altercation with Jacob and their boy, Scott and Duffy being Duffy tried to separate them. She got struck in the head." He held his hands up reassuringly, noticing that she was about to start speaking over him. "Don't worry Jacob's fine, Duffy's fine. They're both fine. She's just a little shaken up and to be quite honest we've had enough of today."

"Well, Charlie, that's understandable. If I could erase today from ever existing, I would." She looked down and their roles reversed.

"You alright? Must have been a difficult day for you." He was referring to Michael.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. You know me." She whispered through a smile and squeezed his arm. "You two get yourselves home and away from this place."

"You don't have to tell me twice, she's in the car waiting. Oh and Sam called for a meeting in the staff room in five minutes time." He smiled and rubbed her hand as she pulled it away. He'd made a lucky escape.

Sighing deeply, she made her way into the staff room just as everyone was filing in miserably, they looked frustrated, annoyed and fed-up. She joined them and took a seat on one of the stools at the table. She felt slightly uncomfortable knowing that everyone had seen the scene Michael made in resus. They all knew he was her ex-husband. She kept quiet, throwing a sympathetic look at Jacob who was sat on the sofa looking as equally glum as she felt. For the first time in weeks, he offered her a small smile, she returned one back.

"He's late." Louise moaned in a monotone manner.

"You know what?" Cal stood up, grabbing his coat as he did so. "Screw him." He huffed. "I haven't protested all afternoon for nothing but a lecture from him at the end of the day blaming _us_ for a manic day in here."

"Aye, I'm with you on that one, Cal." Alicia agreed, throwing her bag over her shoulder as she rose to her feet, following Cal's pursuit. Ethan stood to do the same, looking to Lily before he left.

"Lily?"

"I'm fine here thanks, Ethan." He knew she was upset at how the day had gone but each to their own. Ethan was glad he'd stood up for himself and the other junior doctors, and Lily was glad she'd stayed and helped save the lives she did today. Without her input any number of people could have died today. Miraculously nobody had.

Connie watched on as the department crumbled before her. Where the hell was Sam? As if by the power of thought, Cal bumped into him in the doorway. This they were not expecting. A bloodied up Sam stood before him, an extremely unamused expression written all over his face. He had a busted nose, lip and a large gash on his eyebrow.

"You happy now?" He said it calmly but there was a deep undertone of anger rooted in his words.

"Actually, yes, I am." Cal smiled smugly and brushed past him with slight force shaking his head, the others following in line. The room was abuzz with moans and angry grumbles being thrown his direction and Connie couldn't help but feel bad. She knew how it felt to be the villain for simply doing your job. She stayed seated, receiving a look from Jacob who was one of the last to leave the room. He never spoke a word, just looked at them both disappointedly before leaving them both alone in silence. Sam's head hung, a laugh with no humour escaped his mouth as he entered the room slowly.

"Hit me with it then, I know you're dying to." He walked past her, wiping at his nose as he opened the cupboard on the other side of the room looking for a first aid kit. Her silence made him continue. "C'mon Connie, I know you want to say it? _You told me so_?" He started dabbing at his lip and nose with an antiseptic wipe as she watched on painfully. When he got to his eyebrow she heard the sharp intake of air through his mouth as he hissed with pain.

"Sit down." She huffed and moved away from the chair, grabbing the kit from his hand.

"I can do it-"

"Just sit down, Sam." She raised her voice with frustration, finally getting him to do as she asked. Settling himself on the stool she'd previously been sat on he kept his gaze low as she stood before him, wiping his eyebrow gently. He looked like a little boy who'd been told off. "Who did this to you?"

"Hooligans." He murmured, still avoiding her gaze. She was being so gentle, she had the perfect opportunity to hurt him here but she was choosing not to and he was grateful.

"Sports fanatics, I steer clear of them." Her comment received a small chuckle from him before he winced as she moved over a tender area. "Sorry." Her eyes flickered from the wound to his eyes briefly, trying not to hurt him. "They've made a mess of you, haven't they?"

"Just like I did to their friend." He sighed and seized the opportunity to re-adjust his position as she grabbed a new wipe. "I deserved it. This is all my fault."

"You were just doing what you thought was right."

"Would you have done the same?"

"I don't know." She answered honestly. "I know what it's like being _the bad guy._ " She smiled in between moving from his eyebrow to his nose. "Everyone hated me up on Darwin, except maybe Elliot."

"I didn't _hate_ you." The deadpan look she gave him made him change his answer slightly. "Well, not _all_ the time anyway."

"It's a lot different down here, Sam." She turned serious again. "Staff morale is so important, we all lean on each other, we need to be united not divided." He remained silent, agreeing with her without verbally doing so.

"I'm sorry."

"It's not me that needs to hear it-"

"No, I mean I'm sorry about the whole Michael situation today. Had the strike not being happening he'd have been transferred straight away." His apology wasn't acknowledged immediately, instead she remained quiet for a few moments.

"You put me in a really awful position today." The venom in her words was seeping out in just the right dosage to make him feel bad. Her voice was gravelly with emotion.

"He's hellbent on getting back together with you, isn't he?" He was prying now and wisely, she'd clicked on. "Why, all of a sudden, has he decided this now? Did something happen between you two?"

"Right, well that's all done." She tossed the wipes into the bin under the table. "You might want to get a plaster on that brow before it gets infected." She moved away from him suddenly. He'd spooked her again, but he couldn't let this slide. He'd finally put it all together in his head, almost as if the beating he'd just taken had knocked some sense into him. How had he not fathomed this earlier?

"No, connie wait." He stood, grabbing her arm gently, stopping her from walking away but she wouldn't turn to face him. "Stop running away from me." He pleaded before continuing."You saw him that night, didn't you?" There was no response, not even a movement. Her voice was caught in her throat, terror ripping through her body just knowing that'd he figured it out. He didn't even have to say it. She knew that he knew. "The night you went out? And the bruises?" He frowned as the words leaving his mouth actually hit his own ears and it all made horrible sense. She pulled her wrist from his grip carefully and kept her back to him. "He did that to you, didn't he?"

 ***Thanks so much for reading! I really hope you all like this chapter! I worked so hard on this one! I'm trying to keep it similar to the episodes in a way but add my storyline to it instead, I hope it's working out! Please, please, please review!***


	12. Chapter 12: Decisions

***Thanks so much for the lovely reviews! Never thought I'd get so many, they really help! So, thank you! I hope you enjoy and as always, please, please, please review! This chapter is a little shorter than the last, sorry!***

"Have you told anyone else about this?"

"No, nobody." She sniffed and quickly wiped a tear away. If he didn't see it roll down her face, she could pretend it never happened.

They'd been sat in silence for the best part of fifteen minutes. After his twenty-one questions in the staff room they'd entered her office, where it was more private and comfortable. She'd initially done her best as Connie Beauchamp to deny all accusations and act as if she was right as rain but after the day she'd just had she couldn't keep it together anymore. She hadn't breathed a word about being pregnant though, if she could get away with not telling him for now then she would. It sort of comforted her that Sam himself was in a particularly vulnerable state too right now, hence the ease she felt in sharing this information. His face was red around the areas she'd cleaned up for him. They looked so tender now and his nose sounded blocked because of the nosebleed he'd had.

"But you don't remember _anything_?" His face was full of concern, matching his tone of voice. She couldn't help but huff and sit back in her chair frustratedly.

"I don't know how many times I have to say it. I don't recall a _single_ thing." She sniffed again and crossed her arms. "The last thing I remember doing is texting you and then I woke up-"

"Where?"

"Well, if you'd just let me finish, I was getting there." Her despondency was coming across as being irritable now. "Dylan's house...boat...whatever it is." The last of her sentence was slightly masked as she rubbed a hand over her face and shook her head. "And that's it, nothing else." The shame was evident in her expression.

"Connie, you should go to the police. This is rape."

"And say what?" She laughed humourlessly. "My ex -husband slept with me a few weeks ago but I can't remember, arrest him?" Her sentence received an eye-roll from him as he dabbed at his bloodied nose again.

"So, what then? You're just going to let him get away with it?" That obviously wasn't what she wanted to do either judging by her silence so he moved along to his next question. "Did Dylan see anything or anyone when he found you?"

"No, I already asked him." She spoke softly. He'd never seen her this fragile and dejected before, apart from right after she'd had Grace and he was convinced she was suffering from post-natal depression.

"You should probably get yourself checked out and do a pregnancy test before you do anything else." His thoughts about Grace provoked him to say that dreaded sentence. He looked over her face, noting an unusual stillness to it. He had to choose his next words extremely carefully. "Unless you've already done that?" Still phrased as a question, they both knew it wasn't. "Connie?" He prompted again but she didn't have to verbally say it, the look on her face and in her eyes as she locked into his gaze was enough to tell him the devastating reality of this situation. "Oh, jesus." He whispered, looking down in shock before speaking again. "What are you going to do?" The tears that were pooled in her eyes were refusing to fall but after his last question it only took one swift blink for them to start rolling down her cheeks. She stood up, having lost control of her emotions now, which she wasn't at all used to. She wanted to move away from his gaze but couldn't, so settled on having her back to him and resting against the edge of her desk in front of her computer.

"I don't know, I haven't thought that far ahead yet." She felt so small. He could hear in her voice she was holding on as hard as she could to her last bit of strength to try and stop herself from crying. He felt stupid, but he didn't know what to do, how to comfort her. He took the chance and let his instincts take charge, moving away from the sofa arm he'd been perched on he made his way over to her side but she looked away, the back of her head still facing him.

"I'll be here, you're not on your own." Instead of trying to force engagement or contact he merely perched next to her and wrapped his closest arm across her back, squeezing her upper arm reassuringly as he pulled her a little closer. He meant it one hundred percent but it still worried him.

/

"Jacob, I thought you'd left?" Elle's chirpy voice lifted his solum spirit ever so slightly.

"I had." He smiled. "Forgot my phone, I must've left it in the staff room." He hovered for a moment.

"Well, this isn't the staff room." She grinned stupidly at him, receiving a laugh.

"Shut up." He playfully nudged her before turning serious again. "I wanted to have a word with Connie too, she still here?" He knew that smile she'd given him in the staff room had to have meant something and he didn't want to ignore it.

"I think so." She looked around as she spoke. "I think she's having a word with our _entrepreneurial_ Medical Director in her office-" Her sentence slowly died off as her eyes hit Connie's office window. The sight of Connie and Sam so close to one another, his arm draped across her back made her heart sink for Jacob. She looked to him quickly but he'd already seen too. "Jacob-"

"Nah, forget it. I don't know what I was thinking." His face was stony as he clenched his jaw tightly. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Just like that, his mood plummeted. She watched him head for the staff room and leave, it hurt her so much seeing him like this. Sighing sadly, she returned her gaze to Connie's office, they'd moved apart now but were still in there together. She wondered what was going on. Perhaps it was something to do with Grace? Or Connie's ex-husband she'd so briefly had the pleasure of coming into contact with? Either way, she'd probably never know.

/

"How far along are you? Must be four or five weeks now?"

"Sam, please." She begged, wiping away the last of her tears. "I don't want to talk about it, I'll get to it in my own time I just-" She stopped to try and compose herself before speaking more lowly. "I just need time to think and not feel like I'm suffocating."

He didn't say anything, he was afraid of crowding her too much and possibly pushing her away. She would inevitably try to do that, it was just her nature but at a time like this she needed support and he was willing to be that pillar in her life. She helped him during a difficult time in his life when he had cancer and he wanted to do the same for her, and Grace too. He meant what he said. They came as a package and he'd stand by them through anything, even if he and Connie only got along with each other sixty percent of the time at the very _most._

 _"_ Okay." His words were gentle. "But don't tackle this alone, Connie."

Those words echoed through her skull, over and over again for the next few days. How could she not tackle it alone when she _was_ alone _?_ He'd been calling her more than usual, so transparently not trying to bring up the current situation and instead acting as though he was calling about Grace-related things. She didn't really mind too much but his latest phone-call had got her back up. He was being so persistent in her going to the police when he _knew_ that's not what she wanted to do. Of course, she was furious and wanted Michael to pay for what he'd done but she didn't see the point in reporting it now almost six weeks after it had happened with no hard evidence or her even having any memory of it. She'd be dragging everything up again and upsetting herself, disturbing the lid she'd just clamped down on her emotions again and for what? Nothing would come of it, she just knew it.

Then there was the decision she had to make. What should she do? There was no way she could keep it but at the same time could she really face another abortion when she'd sworn to herself she'd never go through that again? Then there was Grace, if she couldn't go through with a termination how would Grace react to her having another child? How would her job be affected? Lastly, there was the worry of Michael finding out. After all he was still out there somewhere, she was just waiting for him to rear his ugly head again. A million and one questions were racing through her mind. She knew though. Deep down, she knew. There was no realistic way she could have this baby.

"Connie, can I have a word?" She jumped out of her skin, almost throwing aside the folder in her arms. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

"It's fine, Charlie." She collected herself. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know what you've said to him or how you've done it but thank you."

"Sorry?" Her brow furrowed with confusion. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Sam? The cuts?" He smiled but tried to keep his conversation short, she seemed rattled today. "He's re-addressed the issue with the board and after Friday night's shenanigans, they've agreed to find other ways to reduce costs. They've realised after the strike, we need every member of staff we've got and maybe even more."

"Oh, Charlie." She smiled genuinely with relief, he looked so pleased and thankful. "That's great. I'm not sure I was of any help in the matter but that's great news. Do the rest of the staff know?"

"No, I'm calling a meeting in the staffroom in ten."

"Alright, I'll be there." She rubbed his hand as it squeezed her arm gratefully.

Well, that was one bit of good news. She let a sigh of relief escape her mouth, at least that was one worry off her mind. Only five thousand left to deal with. Her thoughts were halted when her phone started vibrating in her hand. It was Sam.

"Sam." She answered swiftly and started walking slowly towards her office, talking quietly. "If this is about the police again, you might as well hang up now-"

"No, Connie it's not." He sounded bizarre almost breathy.

"Sam?" Worry kicked in now as she awaited an answer, it sounded like he was driving.

"It's Grace, there's been an incident at school. She's on her way to you now, Iain and Jez were called out."

"What?" Her mouth dried up instantly. "What kind of incident?"

"Look, I'm almost there, I'll explain when I arrive. I just wanted to give you a heads up, they'll be there soon." He hung up, not giving her the chance to ask any more questions. Her heart was beating out of her chest, things were going so well with Grace, her mind raced with thoughts of possible things that could have happened to her daughter. She'd been through enough already, what now?

/

The whole situation had seemed like a blur. Grace'd had an epileptic fit in the toilets after lunch, but nobody had been with her so she was left fitting and unresponsive on her own for over half an hour. Hugo was the one to find her, as soon as she hadn't shown up for their shared Geography lesson he'd become worried and gone looking for her. Finding the worst. Once Iain and Jez brought her in, staff did their best, treated her and sent her upstairs to a private room. It was getting close to eight o'clock now and Hugo was still sat with Connie at Grace's bedside. Sam had dashed home half an hour ago to grab some pyjamas and essentials for Grace as they said she'd be in for at least three or four nights. She was going to be okay, thankfully. Her sudden collapse and fit were just slightly concerning and for now she just needed to rest and recover.

"I'm sorry, Connie."

"What?" She turned her gaze to him slowly. "Hugo, sweetheart, you have nothing to be sorry for." She reached out and held his arm sweetly.

"I shouldn't have let her go alone."

"Hugo, listen to me." She turned her body around in her chair to look him directly in the face. Not allowing Sam's re-entering of the room to interrupt what she was saying. "None of this is your fault, okay?" She received a small but sad nod from the young boy before she made eye contact with Sam as he retook his seat on the opposite side of the bed to Connie.

"Maybe I should take you home, Hugo." Sam spoke up softly. "It's getting late."

"No." He shook his head in defiance. "I want to stay here." Sam glanced at Connie for an answer, she shook her head ever so slightly and continued to rub his arm soothingly.

"It's fine, you can stay. I'll have to call your Dad though, okay?" She kept her voice light, smiling slightly when he nodded in response.

"Connie, can I have a word outside?" Sam spoke as he got to his feet, holding the door open for her as she followed. They remained stood at the window of the room, still able to look in on Grace whilst they talked.

"Do we know what happened yet?" She crossed her arms over herself tightly, feeling the cool corridor air travelling straight through the thin fabric of her blouse.

"No, I called the school and her head of year said nobody saw or heard anything." He put one hand on his hip as the other rubbed up and down on the back of his head frustratedly.

"He thinks it's his fault." She'd kept her gaze fixed on Grace and Hugo, not once glancing at Sam.

"He's a good kid." He moved his focus from the back of Hugo's head to the side of Connie's troubled face, knowing what he was about to say. "He watches out for her, even when she's being difficult." The words he was speaking were definitely about Hugo and Grace but they also fit the situation between himself and Connie extremely well too. Knowing this, he used it to his advantage to try and get through to her. "The other day she more or less demanded he carry her school bag as she had more important things to do do and d'you know what? He just did it, without question. She reminds me of you so much." His last comment managed to make her smile.

"Really? Because I get the opposite. Everything she does just screams _Strachan_ to me. She's headstrong, she does as she pleases whenever she pleases, she has no regard for authority." She glanced sideways at him, it was meant as a playful dig and that's how he took it.

"No, she's definitely her Mother's daughter." They both smiled before she felt the need to interrupt the warm moment, it felt too nice.

"I'd better call his dad, it's a Wednesday night, he should be home. He's got school tomorrow." She pulled out her phone and headed down the corridor to make the call, leaving Sam alone to study Grace's small frame through the glass window. She'd been through so much already and now this. The only peace of mind he had was that her Mother was as strong as an Ox too, she'd get through this. The ability to do so was built into her genetically.

/

It was only twenty minutes before Hugo's Dad arrived and took him home, he was sad to leave Grace's bedside but knew she needed rest and her parents probably wanted some time alone with her. He wasn't ready to tell the truth just yet but knew eventually he'd have to. Only one good thing had come from such a devastating circumstance, seeing how much struggle her daughter was still going through, she knew there was no way she could juggle another life into the equation. Grace came first and another baby would possibly hinder her recovery and progress. She knew what she had to do.

"Here, I got you a coffee. Thought we could both do with one." His voice cut in on her thoughts.

"Thanks." She reached out, taking the cup from his hand. Wincing disgustedly once she'd taken a sip.

"Oh, sorry." He looked at the side of his cup. "This one has sugar, this is yours." He laughed a little at how disgusted she looked before swapping cups back with her. "So that's where Gracie gets her sweet-tooth from?"

"Oh, God." She continued wincing. "There is something seriously wrong with people who don't take sugar with their coffee."

"We're missing Charlie's meeting. He rescheduled it after Grace was brought in." He smiled smugly, knowing it was about the job cuts.

"Sam Strachan saves the day." She smiled as best she could, given the amount of things plaguing her mind at this very moment. "Although, I don't think we can really say that when it was you who proposed job cuts to the board as a cost effective move in the first place." Her brows raised expectantly.

"Either way." He smiled. "I'm a good guy again and nobody has lost their job." They sat in silence for a while, both just looking on at Grace as she slept.

"Have you thought about what you're going to do?" He eased into the conversation carefully, dipping his toe in the water so to speak.

"Yes." She licked her upper lip and looked down, hesitant to divulge. They way she was behaving gave him a good indication as to what her decision was.

"Are you sure that's what you want to do?" He didn't even need to hear her answer, he already knew.

"It's not about what _I_ want." Her voice was full of defeat as she looked at Grace sleeping soundly, telling him almost telepathically that this was the right decision for Grace.

"I'll come with you, to the appointment I mean."

"No-"

"You shouldn't have to go alone, Connie." He intervened.

"Well, I don't want you there!" She snapped, regretting her actions immediately upon remembering Grace was fast asleep between them. "This has _nothing_ to do with you and it's _not_ your problem." She finished her sentence off in a more hushed yet still aggressive manner. How could they go from mutual smiles and small laughs to her wanting to rip his throat out in the space of three minutes? She could never fathom their strange relationship.

"Fine. If that's what you want." He sounded dejected but she didn't care. "But if you do change your mind, you know where I am and the offer still stands." He stood up, grabbing his coat as she avoided eye contact again. "I'm heading home for the night, I'll be back to see her first thing." He left without another word, leaving her to feel rotten.

She didn't stay much longer that night, she was exhausted herself. Another pregnancy delight. It hadn't hit her too hard when she was pregnant with Grace until she was at least four months gone. She'd made the appointment for Friday, not wanting to dwell on the decision any longer. She'd made a choice and that's the choice she was going to stick with.

 ***Thanks for reading, guys! I hope this chapter was okay! Please, please, please review! I love reading all of your feedback and thoughts!***


	13. Chapter 13: Crossroad

***Can't thank you all enough for these amazing reviews! THANK YOU! I hope things are still going well for you as readers! Obviously I won't be able to please everyone so I'll just keep going with the flow for now! Thanks again and please, please, please review! Let me know if things are moving too slowly!***

"Sam, how's Grace doing?" Charlie's concerned voice approached him from behind at the Nurse's station.

"Yeah, she's good. It's still a long road ahead but she's doing really well, better now that she's at home again." He smiled, genuinely pleased about her progress.

"That's great news." He beamed back in return before getting to his main point. "Listen, you couldn't do us all a huge favour could you?" His smile was raised higher on one side, as if he was afraid to ask but did anyway.

"Depends what the favour is?" He smiled with suspicion.

"We're a doctor down today and we'll be two doctors down this afternoon, Dylan's at home with the flu and Connie has an appointment to go to later on." He paused, looking around before making eye contact with him. "You wouldn't be able to scrub in and help the team out again, would you? It'd take a load of pressure off us down here, especially with it being a Saturday night." He waited patiently for the answer he was desperate to hear but Sam's brain was stuck replaying the words _Connie_ and _Appointment._ He knew what that was about. "Sam?"

"Hm?" He was catapulted back to reality quickly. "Oh, yeah, of course! I'd be more than happy to help out."

"Oh, thank you." He pressed his hands together thankfully. "I know it's a big ask, but we could really do with the help."

"Did Connie say what time this appointment was?" He asked, completely ignoring Charlie's last sentence.

"Three o'clock, I think, dental check-up."

"Thanks, Charlie." He gave him a swift pat on the shoulder before hurriedly heading off towards Connie's office.

He knew she was going to verbally assault him, in her typical Connie fashion, but in his opinion there was just no way on Earth somebody should have to go through something like this alone. He thought back to her medical notes and wondered whether someone had been with her the first time? He highly doubted it, but still, he wondered. And then her miscarriage, was anyone with her when she had to go through that trauma, especially at such a young age. It actually saddened him to think about it. The only way he viewed situations like that now was through Grace. What if Grace was to be in that situation one day? He hoped she'd be able to turn to himself or Connie for help and not just have to suffer through it alone. He let his mind continue to dance with thoughts until he reached her office, opening the door, once again without knocking.

"Oh, sorry. "He stammered immediately. "I uh, I didn't know you were getting changed." He quickly shut the door behind himself, protecting her privacy. Averting his eyes as he was presented with her bare back whilst she shimmied a new blouse on quickly. She'd been thrown up on in resus and thankfully had a spare blouse with her today.

"You still haven't learnt how to knock, I see." Although a tamely snippy comment, it could have been a lot worse. He let the silence wash over them as she remained with her back to him until she got to the midway button on her shirt, turning to face him once she'd reached that safe, halfway point. He could still see the lace of her bra peeping over the top until she finally reached the last button. "What do you want?"

"Charlie said you had an appointment this afternoon, I'm gonna take a wild guess and say that it's not really a dental check-up." The eye-roll and blank stare he received told him he was correct. "I'm going with you, Connie. You shouldn't be on-"

"On my own? Well, Sam, I'm always on my own and I'm more than used to it by now." She was quick to snap at him, sighing regretfully upon reminding herself that this was Sam all over and he was just trying to be nice. "Look, I'm fine on my own." There was a slight pause as she finalised her dress routine by slipping her stethoscope around her neck delicately. "I just, want it over with already." Her quiet words were almost lost in her movements as she grabbed some patient notes and slotted them under her arm, heading past him for the door and holding it open for him. "I have a lot to do today before I go, so I'll speak to you later if I have chance." She was looking everywhere but his eyes. Today was a day she needed to keep entirely to herself if she was going to get through this. She needed to depend on nobody but her own being.

/

He'd left her office without arguing with her, he knew it would lead nowhere and undoubtedly just upset her to the point of yelling and barking so he just left well alone and got himself ready for the working day. She was going to flip when she found out he was scrubbing in for the day.

"What've we got?" His voice travelled across the floor, causing her body to stiffen once she realised he was covering for Dylan today.

"Ah, Mr Strachan." She hissed his name but attempted to keep it light for the staff members surrounding her. "What a pleasant surprise."

"I know, I could very well get used to this, I might have to make it a more permanent happening. It's like the dream-team have been reunited." Obviously referring to himself and Connie, a few smiles crept across faces around them. Apart from Connie's, hers remained unmoved.

"This is Jasmine Callum, she's twenty-seven years old, suspected wrist fracture along with minor head contusions and abrasions-"

"And I'm ten weeks pregnant. " She interjected and beamed proudly, causing Connie to roll her eyes as her body squirmed under Sam's gaze. Why? Of all patients she could have had, she got the one bragging about her pregnancy when she was about to end hers?

"Right, ten weeks pregnant." Connie repeated moodily. "And she was in a traffic collision approximately two hours ago."

"It's my first one, we've been trying for four years and it's finally happened." She gushed. "Please, tell me everything is going to be okay?" Her worried eyes locked on to Sam's as he moved to her side.

"I promise, we're going to do all we can to make sure you and your baby are okay." He smiled warmly. "We're going to get your neck cleared so we can take this krykoid off for you, then we'll fix up your arm and double check baby's doing fine too. Is there anyone we can call for you?"

"Yeah, my husband." She tried to move for her bag on the table to next to her but the choir of voices around her soon stopped her from moving.

"Try and stay as still as possible for us okay, Jasmine? Just until we've got confirmation that you're neck isn't injured or damaged in any way." Sam's voice seemed to soothe her well.

"Right." Connie interrupted. "You've obviously got this one under control for now Mr Strachan, let me know when she's back from CT." Speaking abruptly, she moved swiftly towards the door, ditching her used gloves and getting out of the room as fast as she could. Nobody else really noticed her strange behaviour except for Sam, but he was looking for it and was expecting odd behaviour from her. Nobody else was.

"You alright?" Duffy's expression wrinkled as soon as she saw Connie's pale complexion. She was leaning on the Nurse's desk looking as if she was about ready to faint. "Connie, you don't look so well, love." She placed a supportive hand on her lower back. "Come and have a sit down." She motioned to the empty staff room but Connie tried to shake off the feeling of nausea as fast as she could.

"No, no I'm fine, Duffy, really." She smiled falsely and let a long breath escape her before talking again. "Thank you though."

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, fine, just need to stop skipping breakfast in the mornings that's all. Nothing to worry about."

"Right." She responded unsurely. "Well maybe you should go'n get yourself something to eat before it gets any busier in here?"

"Good idea." She forced another uncomfortable smile until Duffy had turned around and left, a worried look still occupying her face. She let her head hang as she exhaled slowly, willing herself to get a grip.

It sounded stupid but _mentally_ she knew she was pregnant, _physically_ and _emotionally_ however, she'd been doing her upmost to ignore it. Most pregnant women would feel the urge to hold their midsection or rub it soothingly upon feeling their morning sickness kick in but she'd avoided making a connection completely. She didn't want to feel anything for it because she knew know that she wasn't keeping it. Letting herself grow attached would just make matters even more difficult for her and she was already struggling to come to terms with her decision as it was. If she pretended it wasn't happening she could numb herself to the emotional blow this was going to be this afternoon. Suddenly becoming aware of her frozen state, she kicked herself back into movement as the junior doctors piled into the Nurse's station around her. Cal and Ethan were bickering about something ridiculous and Alicia was rolling her eyes in Louise's direction. Her observing eyes flickered away when she heard Sam's voice nearing.

"Connie?"

"Sam." She repeated back with a mocking tone and cleared her throat, preparing for whatever he was about to tell her.

"Jasmine Callum-" He started but she cut in immediately, wanting short, sweet facts.

"What about her?" She monitored his face as he glanced across the juniors who were now half listening in on their sharp conversation. Attempting to lower his voice, he moved in a little closer to her but he was still audible to everyone around them.

"If this is too difficult for you, I can take ov-"

"And just why exactly do you think I'm unable to deal with this patient?" She slammed the folders in her grip back down in the the tray, now attracting everyone's attention their way. All they needed now was a spotlight for extra effect. "I am _perfectly_ capable of dealing with this one alone." She snapped viciously. "Now, please, will you just _back off_ and leave me alone!" The latter of her sentence was whispered aggressively in attempt to shield it, unsuccessfully, from the seven pairs of ears eaves dropping in on their private yet loudly broadcasted conversation. She glanced around sheepishly at the engrossed faces and then there was an awkward silence following her stormy exit back into her office, leaving Sam to try and salvage his dignity.

"Alright everyone, show's over, you can get back to work now." He spat angrily as he straightened out his tie, perseverance was key with Connie. He'd try again later. But then again why should he? She just embarrassed him in front of the whole team. Although, he was crowding her. Which is exactly what he didn't want to do because this was always the outcome. Anger and avoidance.

"You two have been airing out your dirty laundry in public quite a lot recently, everything okay?"

"Please, Charlie." Sam begged with frustration. "Not now."

"Alright." He held his hands up in defence. "We're just not used to seeing that kind of emotional rise out of Connie, that's all. It's pretty obvious that there's something going on with her so maybe you should just back off a bit? Give her some space?" Charlie obviously had no idea what was going on with her but had taken a guess that Sam was hassling her about something whilst she was dealing with some sort of personal problem. He felt protective of her, like a father would.

"I'm only taking your advice, Charlie." He huffed, now feeling delayed anger at the way Connie had just dealt with that situation. "I might not bother in future, it hasn't got me anywhere so far." He shook his head and swiftly brushed past him. The show obviously had't finished for the junior doctors, they were all still stood listening in awe, each trying to mentally come up with a prior scenario that could have led to that slightly explosive conversation.

"Alright! Get back to work." Charlie bellowed. That was always a shocker for people. Although he was kind, caring and understanding it made him all the more scary when he yelled. It did the trick though, they all scattered and got back to their jobs, leaving him to chase down Connie and make sure she was okay. He felt that, aside from himself, nobody else really bothered to see how she was. Probably down to the fact that she disguised her vulnerability oh so well. Scare the hell out people and they won't be able to see how scared you are yourself. Charlie was smarter than that though. Nearing her office door, he knocked lightly. That's how she knew it wasn't Sam and spoke for him to enter.

"Hey-"

"I'll be out soon, Charlie." She sighed. "I just need a minute."

"No, I was just coming to see if you were okay? You seem a little rattled today."

"I'm fine, just have a lot on my mind."

"This wouldn't have anything to do with that dental check-up, would it? Oldest one in the book that one, Connie." He smiled through his words as he closed the door behind himself, ensuring nobody else could listen in. "What's really going on?"

"I've already told you, it's a dental check-up." She steered clear of his knowing stare, trying to look busy with some papers at her desk.

"Okay, if you say so." He let her have this one, if she really wanted to disclose the real appointment she would but obviously she wasn't comfortable in doing so and he didn't wish to harass her about it. "Don't let it affect your performance in here today then, whatever it is."

As soon as he left the room and she heard the door click behind him she felt as though she was about to fall to pieces. If this was really the right decision then why did she feel so rotten about it? Her heart was beating out of her chest and she'd had nothing but butterflies mixed with the grim feeling of nausea all morning. Another knock at the door disturbed her racing thoughts. Not Sam again at least, since there was actually a knock.

"Come in." She snapped irritably. She couldn't get five minutes alone today and it was driving her mad.

"Sorry, Connie." Duffy's soft, angelic voice crept around the door as she entered slowly. "I found this, out in the patient files. _Nobody_ else saw it but I definitely don't think that's where you meant to leave it." She gave a confused Connie a slightly sympathetic look, sliding her a piece of paper across the desk. It was her appointment confirmation letter. She'd opened it her in her office and must have accidentally taken it out with the files she had in her arm and left it there. Plain as day and simple to read. There was complete silence as Connie snatched the paper off of the desktop, refraining heavily from looking up at the midwifery expert.

"Right, thank you." She couldn't help but sound ashamed.

"I won't breathe a word to anyone, not even Charlie. I hope you know that?" The small nod she received wasn't enough. She felt like she should be comforting her or something. "Is that what the argument out there was about? With you and Sam, I mean?"

"No, he knows nothing about this." She lied defensively. "Why would he? It's got nothing to do with him, in case you were wondering." Her words were followed by an accusatory glare.

"No, that's not what I meant, Connie. I don't give a damn about the identity of the Father, I'm more concerned about you." She eased up on the anger and approached the desk more slowly. She wanted some eye contact from her, to signal she was okay but the complete lack of it was telling her she wasn't okay. "This is obviously playing on your mind. My advice, cancel the appointment, talk to someone and re-think your decision. Don't do something you might regret later, there's no worse feeling."

"Yeah, well, it's not that simple actually but thank you anyway." She licked her upper lip, trying to keep control of her emotions. Amazingly she was doing quite well today.

"Why isn't it?" Her voice was so calm and soft, but still not enough for her to spill out every detail of this horrible situation she was in.

"It doesn't really matter now." She sniffed and got to her feet. "I've made up my mind and I'm going, I don't want to think about it any more."

"Connie-"

"Sorry." She interjected and opened the door widely, starting to crack under the kindness Duffy was showing her. "I'm running late." The open door was a good enough sign for Duffy to leave. "And please-"

"I won't tell a soul." For reassurance she squeezed Connie's hand comfortingly on the way out, that only made her want to cry even more.

/

Sam's eyes had been more or less glued to the clock for the last half an hour, call him controlling but he really wanted to muscle his way in on this appointment. He had no idea why and felt completely and utterly confused by his feelings about it but he just knew in his heart, he wanted to be there with her. Making sure she was okay. Perhaps it was the fact that she was the Mother of his child? Maybe there was some sort of protective instinct built in with that weird relationship? Either way he'd never understand it and he'd never be at this appointment under her watch.

"Hello?" Jasmine's voice cooed out into his ear.

"Sorry."

"You've been listening to my heart for about five minutes." She smiled. "I was beginning to worry that you hadn't found one!" She laughed slightly, seeing him smile at her comment and move away from her, replacing his stethoscope around his neck.

"No, I assure you, your heart is in there and it's beating quite nicely."

"And my baby?" Her voiced hitched with worry as she spoke.

"Baby is completely fine." He couldn't help but smile whilst he told her, the relief in her tears was evident as her husband gripped her hand, kissing her head upon hearing the good news. Sam felt his chest tighten. He needed to find Connie. "I'll let you both have a moment, get someone in to sort this wrist out and then we'll keep you in overnight for observation." They both nodded happily, allowing him to discard his gloves and dash out to the Nurse's station.

"Have you seen Connie?" His eyes flicked up to the clock, he had fifteen minutes to find her. Charlie frowned and looked at him frustratedly.

"Is this what you call giving her some space?"

"Charlie, I need to speak to her." The urgency in his voice alerted Duffy to the reality of the situation, he must know what the real appointment is too. She was about to take that chance, regardless of whether she was right or not.

"Sam." She spoke tenderly. "I tried speaking to her too, she's already gone." His face twisted with puzzlement but the look she gave him made him aware that she knew too. Charlie on the other hand hadn't the foggiest idea what was going on. "Run and you might just catch her."

"Duffy, you're an absolute angel." He smiled widely and set off at a fast pace in the right direction.

"Yeah, well she's _my_ angel!" Charlie yelled after him jokingly, Duffy's laugh caused him to look at her with question. "What was all that about?"

"That, Charlie Fairhead, is none of you business." She smiled sweetly, pecking him on the cheek as she left him stood in bewilderment.

"Mad, the lot of you. You're all mad."

"Funny you should say that, y'know, talking to yourself is actually the first sign of madness, Charlie boy?" A passing Max overheard Charlie's low-spoken comment to himself and took the opportunity to throw in a joke as he continued wheeling a patient on into cubicles. Hospital life never had a dull moment.

/

He scanned the hallways for her, hurriedly looking for that black and white polka-dotted shirt she'd been wearing. Bingo. She was just entering the room. Quickening his pace he more or less stampeded over to the door, frowning when he came to a store-room door. He was sure she'd gone in this one. He couldn't stand still, he was in everyone's way, for some reason the corridor was overflowing with women, both pregnant and not. He apologised upon standing on someone's foot before getting so irritated that he entered the store-room regardless. He was right, she was in here. She'd turned to face the wall as soon as he came in and closed the door.

"Do you _ever_ listen to a word I say, Sam? I told you to leave me alone!" The emotion in her voice made him wary of his actions and words.

"I can't and I won't." He moved closer to her still keeping a firmness in his words, letting her know he was serious.

"You will _never_ change, will you?" That was her last ditch attempt at turning the focus away from herself and on to him, he caught on though. Even her old defence tactics weren't working on him anymore. She'd have to try harder than that.

"I could say the same for you." His brow furrowed quickly with frustration. "I said I'd be here for you, Connie. I don't know how many times I have to say it or prove it to you! This is just like when you were pregnant with Grace all over again, pushing me out-"

"This is _nothing_ like that! Not one part of this situation is similar!" She was really going for it now, she didn't care if the tears spilled out. She was furious. "From the get-go this had _nothing_ to do with you! And you're still here _suffocating_ me like I asked you to be here!" He hadn't seen her yell like this since he had cancer and they argued so violently he collapsed.

"Hang on a minute! You _made_ me a part of this when you told me what happened to you! I promised you and myself that I'd be here for you, that I'd support you as the Mother of my child! How am I supposed to do that when at any given opportunity you push me away as hard as you can?!" He got closer to her, mimicking her aggression and anger. Fighting fire with fire would never normally work but perhaps it would this time. "Why are you so afraid of _needing_ someone or looking weak?! We're all human, Connie! Even you!" He was starting to lose control now, weeks worth of pent up anger were all coming out in this one heated moment and he couldn't stop now that it'd had started flowing. "You made that obvious when you were _crying_ to me about all of this and forced me to be involved! I treated the man who did this to you!" He could feel the vein in his neck pulsing with fury.

"Oh, please!" She scoffed ferociously. "I don't _need_ you! I've never needed you! I have _always_ coped on my own because I've always had to!" Her final raspy yell landed the small store-room in complete and deafening silence. Realising what she'd just said, she looked down and took a deep breath. She felt light-headed from yelling so hard.

"Well, you don't have to anymore." His voice was oddly calm for how furiously they had both just been screaming. He'd got what he wanted out of her. A revelation that it was indeed somebody else who had made her this way and not her own free-will that forced her to make these decisions.

"No." She whispered, shaking her head and for the first time placing her hand on her abdomen unconsciously as she spoke. "You're all the same, you'll say one thing and do another. No relationship of mine, platonic or otherwise has _ever_ lasted." She sniffed and looked away, still holding herself. "And I'm _always_ the one left hurting. _Always_."

"I am _not_ like Michael, Connie and I _am_ and _always_ will be here, not just for Grace but for you as well. I don't know how many times I have to say that before it'll finally sink in. Why else do you think I'm here in this cupboard right now? Do you think I'd really be in here having this painful argument with you if I didn't honestly care? What am I gaining from being in here? Nothing. I'm here because _I care._ "

She closed her eyes slowly, giving in to his words. Whether she believed him or not, she was tired and there was no way she had the stamina to keep arguing with him but truth be told she felt like he'd made some good points in his speech, it made her feel secure in taking his word for it. Her teary eyes glanced up at him, making contact with his. He looked so calm, his face was now wearing a friendly look, much different to the one he was sporting moments earlier. The gap between them was only small now, she could feel the heat from his body on hers. Licking her upper lip slowly, she glanced down and wiped the corner of her eye, quickly smudging away a tear before it had chance to fall,

"Okay." She whispered close to his chest, nodding in a small and unsure manner.

"You're going to miss your appointment if we don't stop hiding in this cupboard." He smiled through his own whisper as she pressed her lips together still nodding. That was the closest thing to a smile she could muster right now, especially with what was awaiting her in the next room. She'd only ducked in here to get away from the mob of glowing pregnant women outside in the corridor, all heading in for scans with smiles on their faces. She came back to the moment when she felt his hand grab hold of hers gently as he started to move towards the doorway but she couldn't move. Her feet felt like they'd been cemented to the ground. Her refusal to move made him stop and turn to look at her expectantly, wondering why she'd halted.

"I can't." She shook her head adamantly. "I can't do it, Sam."

 ***Thank you all once again! This was my first ever time trying to write a proper argument between two characters and it was SO HARD! Especially trying ti keep them both as close to their characters as possible! I hope I did a satisfactory job! Thanks for all of the reviews and please, please, please keep leaving them! I love to read your feedback and plan my next chapter around how you guys feel!***


	14. Chapter 14: Haunted

**Thank you to the ninety nine percent of you being kind and patient during this problem. I'm still not 100% sure if it's fixed but I'm posting this regardless and I just hope to God that those of you following receive alerts, I apologise in advance if you don't. I've sent a dozen emails and a few tweets to the site email and twitter account but got no response, so, hey ho. Thanks for all of the amazing reviews! I LOVE reading them, so thank you! Hope you enjoy this next chapter! ALSO any long segments in italics are meant to be read as flashbacks**

"I can't tell you what to do, it's whatever you feel is right." His eyebrows were raised as he talked slowly, trying to get his point across to her. They were still in the store-room and her heart was battling her mind on what decision to make.

"I don't know what to do, I just know that this isn't right." She continued to shake her head as she spoke, becoming more alarmed with each shake. "I can't, I can't do it."

"Okay, okay." He quickly closed the gap between them again upon noticing how distressed she was becoming. Before he knew it, for the first time in a long time, he'd enveloped her into a hug. "It's fine, don't do anything you don't want to do." He soothed softly, rubbing her back with one hand. At first she felt rigid and uncomfortable in his embrace but once realising she was in it already and there was no fighting it, she melted into his grip nicely. It felt so secure for her, to be quite honest, she didn't want it to end. But it did, as soon as he stopped rubbing she felt his hands loosen their grip as he pulled back to get a proper look at her. It was a strange, familiar feeling between them. He was so close to her face and she could see every feature clearly. Just as she remembered them. It was a mere matter of seconds before they united in a rushed and emotionally charged kiss, she wanted comforting and he wanted her to know that he cared.

She felt her back press up against the store-room shelves as he pushed her backwards gently and deepened their embrace, her hands sliding up over his chest to the sides of his neck and stopping once they reached the sides of his face. His hands roamed also but were headed down her sides, he stopped suddenly and pulled away with a frustrated sigh.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have done that." He felt like he'd taken advantage of her in such an emotional moment, something he shouldn't be doing to anyone let alone someone who'd been raped

and was now bearing the child of that awful action.

She, on the other hand, couldn't muster a word. She was far too confused and slightly embarrassed at what had just happened. They were back to maintaining minimal eye contact as she stared down at her shoes, crossing one arm over her abdomen as the other one pushed a few strands of hair behind her ear.

"I'm sorry." He uttered it a second time to enhance the sincerity of his words.

"No, it's fine." She whispered back, not really sure what else to say. She was all over the place at the moment. But one thing was absolutely sure in her mind. "I can't do it."

"I know and I agree." He finally looked at her, a little flushed in the cheeks as he nodded. "I don't think you should do it either."

She didn't. She couldn't. There was a really strong feeling inside of her that was just screaming no. The rest of the day was a horrible blur, against Sam's advice and attempted order, she remained at work for the rest of the afternoon. By the end of it her head was pounding and her lower back killing. She and Sam had been making awkward eye contact ever since. It was a moment of weakness on her part and perhaps a moment of promise on his? She wasn't really sure. Finally having a sit down in her office, she took this quiet time to reflect on everything that had just happened. It was really sinking in now, especially after refusing to terminate and finally thinking to herself 'I'm having a baby.' She'd get through it though, she always did. Sighing aloud, she slumped forward and rested her head in her hands exhaustedly. After a couple of seconds she moved one hand behind her to try and soothe her aching back. She knew lower back pain was common in the first trimester but she was only around the seven week mark and it had been giving her grief for the last two hours.

"Small tip." Duffy's voice startled her slightly in the doorway.

"Ginger." She smiled proudly and let herself into the office.

"Sorry?" Connie sat up straight, genuinely confused.

"Backache in the early stages of pregnancy. If you rub ginger on the affected area, it helps."

"Oh." She smiled and looked down, not ready to have this conversation with anyone. "Thank you, I'll keep that in mind."

"I hope you don't mind, I was worried about you and asked Sam how things went." Her face was full of concern, which helped to tone down Connie's frustration at being fussed about.

"Well, that's really not his place to say, but nice of him to put your mind at rest." She cringed immediately at how bitchy she was being, especially towards Duffy, possibly the kindest person working in this hospital. "Sorry, it's just been a really intense day." She sighed again and sat back in her chair.

"No need to apologise, the first few months are always the hardest. If you ever need to talk or need some advice, I'm always here to listen or help."

"Thank you." She smiled gratefully.

"Oh." She stopped on her way out, turning around to face her again. "And congratulations." They exchanged smiles again before she left the room completely and Connie's smile faded almost instantly. She just wanted to go home.

After conquering a mountain of paperwork she decided that was enough for one day. It was almost nine o'clock and she still hadn't had eaten anything since lunch-time, she should probably start taking better care of herself. Sliding her coat on as she left, she threw her bag over her shoulder and headed for the car park. She could see Sam coming out of the lift from the corner of her eye and did her best to avoid him, quickening her pace until she was outside. That sounded awful especially after how kind he was to her today, aside from the screaming match, but she didn't want to talk any more today. At least not about the topic Sam wanted to talk about. Nearing her car, she let her mind wander. She couldn't wait to get home and have a bath.

"Connie?" She jumped out of her skin at the small voice calling out from behind her, turning immediately she squinted to try and see the figure it came from. He was crouched down and hugging his knees tight to his chest.

"Hugo?" She instantly went into panic mode, rushing over to him and dropping her bag by the nearest bench. "Hugo, sweetheart, what's happened?" She crouched down by his side, forgetting all of her worries straight away at the sight of this sad, lonely and scared little boy.

"It's her birthday today." He sniffled, trying to wipe his tears away.

"And he forgot." Her heart sank faster than a rock in water.

"Oh, Hugo." She sighed, rubbing his arm softly. "I'm so sorry."

"So I've run away, I'd rather be anywhere than with him." His tearful sobs turned into angry words as he continued to wipe his tears away.

"Well, you can't really stay out here all night, can you? You'll freeze, look at you, you're shivering already." He listened to her warm voice, looking down at his own trembling hands.

"Will you let me stay with you? Just for one night? I promise I won't annoy you." His sad, teary eyes were breaking her heart. Damn hormones. She blinked quickly and smiled, attempting to disguise the sadness she felt for him. At the same time, she didn't know what to do, of course she'd have to let him stay but she'd also have to let his Father know where he was.

"On one condition, Hugo." She gave him a stern but loving look.

"You call your Dad as soon as we get in and you let him know where you are." Her terms and conditions made him think for a couple of seconds but he knew even just one night away from home and with Connie would beat staying out here and getting frostbite.

"Deal." He smiled and wiped his eyes again, letting her help him up. "I don't have any pyjamas." He said sweetly as she grabbed his and her things, loading them into the car.

"Don't worry, I'm sure we'll find you something." She gave him a smile before they strapped in and set off.

He was a chatty little thing. Which, in a way, she loved about him. Sometimes she struggled to even get a sentence out of Grace, even if she was trying her hardest. Perhaps it was just a teenaged girl thing? She thought back to her teen years and shuddered. She hoped she didn't have the same situations to look forward to with Grace.

Once they were back, Connie managed to get Hugo to call his Dad and had a quick word with him herself before he hung up. Turns out it was indeed Hugo's Mum's birthday today and Jim had forgotten. Poor Hugo's heart had been broken.

"I hope you like marshmallows." She grinned as she rounded the corner with a hot chocolate in her hand.

"I love them!" He took the mug from her happily and sat with it clutched to his chest once he'd taken a sip, leaving a nice little brown and white moustache on his upper lip. "You won't tell Grace, will you?" He glanced down at the pink pyjamas he was wearing, surrounded nicely by the pink and white sheets he was nestled in. She'd put him in the guest room but had to use Grace's sheets for the double bed.

"I won't breathe a word, I promise." She smiled again, sitting on the side of the bed.

"Are you okay, Connie?" His innocent question almost knocked her over, he asked so casually as he sipped sweetly at his hot chocolate.

"Me?" She chuckled. "I'm fine."

"You looked like you'd been crying before, when you found me outside?" He was now spooning the gooey layer of marshmallow into his mouth before looking at her with a glimpse of concern in his eyes.

"No, no. Of course not, it was just a very busy day today."

"Was it something to do with Grace's dad? She said you two are always yelling at each other." That last sentence hurt her heart, she knew that Grace understood she and Sam weren't together but for her to say they were always arguing made her feel sad. That's the last thing she wanted Grace to be surrounded by.

"Well, Sam and I do clash sometimes but don't all parents?" He nodded with wide eyes. "See, it's not just us. But to answer your question, no. There's nothing wrong with me. And Grace's Dad and I haven't done any yelling today." She lied, watching the concern in his face slowly subside. "Anyway, it's past ten. You should be asleep." She took the empty cup from him and watched him settle in comfortably before heading to the doorway and turning the light off.

"Connie?" His small voice sounded out from under all the blankets and puffy duvet. "Thanks for letting me stay, Grace is really lucky to have you." He smiled even though it was dark and she couldn't see it. Her heart was sinking all the way into her stomach. This poor boy was piercing her heart.

She left his door open a fraction and headed back downstairs to clear away their plates and dishes. They'd had pizza, so much for her taking better care of herself she thought as she rinsed all the plates and loaded them into the dishwasher. Once she'd finished she flicked the kettle on before being interrupted by her phone. It was Sam.

"Sam." She said it too quickly and now there was an awkward silence.

"Sorry, I just, I didn't see you leave earlier and I just wanted to say, y'know, about what happened today, in the store-room, I shou-"

"It's fine, I know." She interjected quickly, trying to end this agonisingly painful conversation. "It's behind us, it was a mistake on both parts. It never happened." There was complete silence forcing her to listen to her own heartbeat in her chest. "Sam?"

"Hm? Yeah, no, no, you're right. Let's just carry on as normal, start again tomorrow and act as if today never, uh, today never happened." Even though it was a phone conversation, she could picture in her head his body language and facial expression as he spoke. On the other end of the line he could see her with one arm crossed over herself, her eyes rolling slightly at his bashful rambling.

"Right, so I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Yeah." He sighed, his lips folding together before opening again.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"Oh and Sam?" She called out, waiting to see if he'd hung up but he hadn't. "Thank you." There was a slight pause whilst she gathered herself. "For today, It, uh, it really helped."

"Any time." She could feel him smiling through the phone and it made her mimic him.

Normally an early riser, she shocked herself the next morning when she woke up at 08:47. She was so tired all the time at the moment and she only had more horrible pregnancy symptoms to experience the further along in her pregnancy she got. Laying on her side she closed her eyes for a second, attempting to let this wave of nausea wash over her but it wasn't going to pass. Quickly throwing the covers back she headed to her en-suite. Throwing up first thing was always a good start to the day. She cleaned up, showered and got dressed before heading downstairs. She popped her head into the guest room on the way down. Shocked to see it was empty, the bed had been made and the curtains opened. There was small comfort in the fact that she could hear the TV on downstairs so she knew Hugo was down there somewhere. She made her way down into the kitchen, smiling at the sight she was presented with.

"I didn't know you were a chef." She smiled, putting the kettle on as she looked over at him.

"I thought I'd make us pancakes, Mum loved pancakes in the morning."

"Don't burn yourself, I don't want to have to explain that to your Dad later." Her smile faded when she saw him look down sadly. "Hugo, sweetheart, he's your Dad, you have to go home to him. I mean, I'm more than happy for you to stay here as long as you want but ultimately, that's your Dad's decision and he probably wants you home. Okay?" She spoke kindly, not wanting to further upset him. It kind of worked and his smile briefly reappeared as he set her pancake on to a plate.

"I know." He sighed. "But at least eat breakfast with me before I go?"

"How could I say no to pancakes?" She pulled a stool up to the breakfast bar and joined him. She was only half-way through her pancake when she was hit with that awful feeling again. Let it pass, let it pass, let it pass she repeated over and over again in her head. Huffing slightly when it didn't. "Excuse me a minute." She smiled and pushed her chair out, making her way out of the kitchen at a faster pace than the average walk. He sat silently for a while, worrying what was going on. His worries were laid to rest when she re-entered the room looking slightly pale.

"You don't like them do you?" His face winced a little, looking down at the half eaten pancake.

"Of course I do! One of the best pancakes I've ever had!" Her eyes scanned his solemn little face before trying to spin a small white lie to save his feelings. "I think we ordered a dodgy pizza last night." She patted her stomach and smiled again. "Nothing to do with your lovely pancakes."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." She sat down again, forcing herself through the nausea just to finish of this pancake and make him smile. It worked.

/

"Are you keeping your fluids up?" He stalked her down the hospital corridor as soon as she came out of the Female toilets, her face paler than a ghost. She'd only been here an hour and he was already on he back.

"Sam." She warned sharply, stopping to face him. " Can you _please_ keep it down?" Her eyes pleaded with him silently. He kept forgetting to keep his voice down when talking about it so openly in the corridors.

"Sorry, I've just noticed that this time around you seem a lot worse off with it, that's all."

"I'm fine, just struggling to keep things down in the morning. It's nothing."

"Make sure you're drinking plenty-"

"Sam, I know the drill." She held her hands up, whispering angrily. " I know you're trying to be supportive and I'm thankful for that, I really am." She put her hand on her chest, displaying her gratitude. "But please, I feel like I'm suffocating with you behind me asking a thousand and one questions every half hour!"

"Sorry, I just, I had to force myself in when you were having Grace. I guess I feel like I have to do it again now." They'd entered her office now and were able to talk a little more freely. Neither would hold eye contact with the other for too long though. Still an awkward feeling in the air.

"Well, this one really doesn't have anything to do with you, so you don't need to worry yourself about it." Completely oblivious to how cold that sounded she sat down at her desk and awaited his response as she knocked back two nurofen for a splitting headache.

"It does though, doesn't it?" He shook his head with disbelief. For an incredibly intelligent woman, she could be so blind to the obvious sometimes. "This is going to change _everything_ and you're saying it has _nothing_ to do with me? How are you going to tell Grace? Will you tell her who the Father is?" His nostrils flared slightly with anger. "What happens when this baby is old enough to understand things and questions why Grace has a Father and he or she doesn't? How do you think I'll feel being a Father to one of your children and not the other?" His temper cracked slightly, letting all these irate thoughts he had bottled up inside his head come crashing out at full force. They were obviously things she hadn't even considered, her face told him that much.

"Sam-" She looked down as she spoke his name but he interrupted her once more. A brave move he wouldn't have dared do once upon a time.

"I'm so sick of being knocked back by you for anything I do-"

"No, Sam." She spoke more urgently and didn't bother raising her head this time. "I think I'm bleeding."

 **It's only short sorry but I'll hopefully get another posted tomorrow! Thanks so much for all of your reviews once again, they're so motivating! And thanks for the lovely reviews left on my Apologies post, hopefully this stupid problem has been fixed although I never heard back from the team via email or twitter, which was super helpful. Not. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this one!**


	15. Chapter 15: Questions

**I have honestly had it with this issue! It's still not fixed! But here is Chapter Fifteen regardless, thanks for the reviews on Chapter Fourteen, those of you haven't read it, I posted last night. I'm still going to post them on Blogger as well for people who would prefer to read it on there. Thanks so much, hope you enjoy this one and please, please review! Also, PLEASE follow my twitter account if you want notifying AS SOON as I've posted - sofia_casualty**

"Thanks, Duffy." Sam greeted her as she approached the doorway of the private room he'd ushered Connie into. She flat out refused to be taken up to obstetrics and gynaecology and so Sam was left to ask someone trustworthy and knowledgeable in that area of expertise. Duffy.

"Is she in here?" He nodded, noting her worried expression. "So, what exactly happened? I just want to ask out here before I go in." She sanitised her hands, waiting for him to speak.

"I don't know." He glanced through the window at Connie laying on her side on the bed, her back to them. "She just said she thought she was bleeding and fought me tooth and nail not to call someone down from Obs and Gynae."

"Okay." She sighed. "But before I go in, this isn't a good sign." She rubbed his arm soothingly. "I hope you understand that?"

"Oh, no." He held his hands out. "I'm not the Father, Duffy. I mean, of course, I'm concerned but I'm not the Father."

"Oh." She blushed embarrassedly. "I'm so sorry, I just assumed she was lying when she said you weren't the Father."

"No. So, I think it's better off that I stay out here. I'm not going anywhere, so give me a shout if you need me." The whole time he spoke he was looking at Connie laying defeatedly beyond the glass window. He took a seat opposite the room when Duffy entered the room, closing the door behind her.

"Connie?" She spoke warmly and moved around to the other side of the bed so she could face her. "I need to you to talk me through what's going on, okay? Are you in any pain?" Stupid question but she needed to ask. Her closed eyes and body positioning told her she was in agony.

"My back." She grimaced. "And lower abdomen."

"Okay, same pain as yesterday? In your lower back, I mean?" Her small nod confirmed the answer. A light knock, followed by the door opening stopped Duffy from asking the next question. "Sam's here, Connie, is it alright if he comes in?"

"I don't care, he can do what he wants. He always does anyway." Her voice was small, most of her energy focused on trying to ease her own pain.

"I'm not staying, Duffy, I just thought I should mention that when she was pregnant with Grace, she had a fall, which resulted in a partial abruption to the placenta-"

"That could be it." She nodded. "More often than not, if you've had it happen in a previous pregnancy you'll likely experience it again."

"So what happens now?" So much for him _not staying_ , he became engrossed in their welfare the moment he stepped into the room. Walking further in, he closed the door behind himself, watching as Duffy proceeded to examine her.

"I'll have to get hold of an ultrasound scanner to confirm, it's so early on in the pregnancy though." Her face wrinkled up apologetically when Connie reacted to a tender spot she'd pushed on. "Sorry, love, I know it's not nice."

"You don't think it'll show up on an ultrasound?"

"Possibly not. But there's no harm in trying." She rolled Connie's blouse down again and sanitised her hands. "I'll go see if I can get hold of one, she's possibly even looking at having an MRI if the ultrasound shows nothing. I'll be as quick as I can." She left in a hurry, desperate to get this sorted out sooner rather than later.

"That bloody mop bucket is still causing me grief more than ten years later." She spoke slowly, still trying to manage her own pain. It was actually a relatively nice thing that she'd said too. Kind of. Not really.

"I'm sorry." He breathed his words out slowly as he sat in the chair opposite her. Flashing her a small, apologetic smile when she opened her eyes to look at him. She looked like she was in agony.

"It's not your fault." She huffed, knowing how difficult she could be and the position she'd put him in back then.

"No, it is." He corrected. "I was smothering you the first time this happened when you fell in the corridor and I was doing it again the second time. I just, don't know when to back off sometimes."

"How about when I tell you to leave me alone?" She smiled a fraction. "I'm not one of your little floozies you pick up and have begging for your attention you know? When I say _back off_ it's not some sort of reverse psychology trick to make you do the opposite of what I'm asking. I really do mean _back off._ " She inhaled sharply, her brows furrowing for a couple of seconds as she breathed through the pain. He leant forward quickly, wanting to do something but realised the pains must have been coming in waves as she seemed okay again now.

"I don't do that anymore." He restarted their conversation and acted insulted but her slight eyebrow raise made him huff and re-evaluate his answer. "Well, not with floozies anyway. I maintain actual relationships now, I'm past the one-night stands."

"Yeah, right." She kept her eyes closed, only opening them when they heard the door open as Duffy wheeled in the ultrasound, Sam kindly jumping up to help her and close the door once she was in.

"Okay, let's see what's going on in here shall we?" She got everything set up and did the required steps before pressing the scanner head on to Connie's abdomen, smoothing the cool gel over her stomach. "Sorry, I know that's cold." Connie remained silent, just wanting this all to be over with. Sam seemed to have gotten away with still being in the room and that's exactly what he wanted. He stayed quiet, not wanting to draw attention to his own presence, in fear of her asking him to leave.

It took Duffy a few moments to get the scanner head in the right place, they all knew she'd got it when they could clearly hear a little heartbeat sounding out through the machine.

"There we go." She smiled down at Connie, who look incredibly relieved. "Baby's fine, heart rate is a little fast though."

"But everything's okay?" Sam finally spoke from the corner of the room.

"From the look of things, I'd say yes." She smiled. "My guess is that because you're still a little distressed, the baby is too." She turned around to address Sam separately. "As soon as she calms down, things should get back into a normal rhythm."

"And the abruption?" Connie asked softly, looking at her baby on the screen.

"We were right. I can _very_ faintly see it, but it's definitely there." She pointed it out on the screen, Sam peered around her so that he could see it too. He missed all of this with Grace. "Judging by the physical symptoms and your history, I'd say it was a Class Two Partial Abruptio Plancentae. Could have been less severe but at the same time it could have been a lot worse."

"Can I go back to work-"

"Absolutely not." Duffy didn't even let her get the last of her sentence out before cutting her off. "Bed rest for at least the next week or two. Any strenuous movement could cause further damage, so you need to be still and rest." There was a firmness in her tone now, she meant business. "I mean it, Connie-"

"Alright." She sighed. "Bed rest, two weeks." She looked down, wiping all the gel off of her stomach and rolling her shirt back down.

"I'll get you something for the pain and then you can go straight home." She smiled, packing up the equipment carefully before leaving the room again.

"I can't imagine you taking two weeks of bed rest." He slipped his hands into his pockets and walked closer to the bed.

"Two weeks of pure hell if you ask me." She lay still on her back, avoiding eye contact with him.

"I'll drive you home-"

"No, it's fine, I'll-"

"Look, it's either that or Duffy'll call a taxi for you. Which would you prefer?" She was silent, giving him the answer he wanted. "Right, well that's settled then. I'll go and verbally state my absence from the board meeting upstairs and I'll come back down when I'm done." He headed towards the door, stopping once he'd opened it. "I'm glad everything's okay." She nodded shyly as a way of thanking him.

/

"Sam?" A strangely familiar voice echoed down the corridor. He'd quickly jogged back downstairs to get a file he'd left in reception.

"Jim?" He posed the phrase as a question, not entirely remembering the face too well.

"Yeah, Hugo's Dad. We've only met once before but regardless." He held his hand out. "Nice to meet you."

"You too, thanks." There was silence after their handshake. "Sorry, was there something you needed or?" He gave Jim the slight impression he was in a bit of hurry.

"Actually it's Connie I'm looking for, do you know where she is?"

"Yeah, now's really not a good time for her, Jim. I'm sorry." He looked over the other man's troubled expression. "Is something wrong?"

"No, no." He answered quickly. "I just, I wanted to thank her for looking after Hugo last night and letting me know he was safe. Things are still a bit tense at home, that's all. He said Connie'd mentioned he was more than welcome to stay if I allowed him to and the thing is, Keira and I have got some issues to resolve." He sighed and looked behind himself at Hugo sat in reception, swinging his legs as he waited patiently on one of the single chairs. "It'd be a huge help if she could watch him for a couple more days, y'know? Keep him out of our toxic environment for the time being." The words he was speaking sort of cascaded over Sam. He had no idea about Hugo staying with her, not that it was any of his business but still. There was no way she could look after him now though, especially not on strict bed rest instructions.

"Look, I don't know anything about all of this but Connie's not _really_ in a position to be looking after anyone but herself right now."

"No, no, of course not. Sorry, I don't know why I even asked. I shouldn't have let him stay in the first place, she's a busy woman with stressful job. The last thing she needs is to be babysitting someone else's child." He shook his head regrettably. "Tell her I said thank you, Hugo thinks the world of her." He shook Sam's hand again and left abruptly, embarrassed that he'd even asked such a question. Hugo looked broken at the news and followed his Father out sadly, dragging his feet. Sam felt awful now. There _was_ a solution to it but he wasn't sure how it'd all work.

/

She was right. It was two weeks of pure hell on Earth. She _hated_ taking time off work. Especially when it gave her so much time to stop and think about things. Not to mention trying to come up with a believable excuse about why she was taking so much time off. A severe case of food poisoning was the best she could think of. Sam had been working on his approach and it was obvious, she was no longer being suffocated but he was there if she needed him and that suited her. Not that she'd ever ask him for help if she did need it, but he knew this so he would occasionally bring Grace over as a sort of excuse to check up on her. In true Connie Beauchamp fashion, she remained bed-ridden for only four days and by the fifth felt like she was going barmy so very carefully started making her way around the house at a slow and steady pace. She wasn't in pain any more which was a relief, luckily it only lasted two or three days after the scan and was easily managed with painkillers.

These two weeks of being imprisoned within her own home had caused to keep rethinking everything Sam had said when they were arguing in her office. That doesn't really narrow down the occasion, but the argument they were having before finding out about the partial abruption. All those questions he asked. Questions she hadn't even considered until now. How the hell was she going to tell Grace? How would she explain who the Father was? What would she tell this baby when he or she queried why they didn't have a Father but their older sibling did? These same question just kept swirling around in her head over and over again. Even when she was sleeping, they were still echoing around in her mind. It was happening again now and it must have been obvious as she stood motionlessly, staring into space at her kitchen counter.

"Mum?" Grace waved her hand in front of her Mother's face trying to get her attention after calling her name for a fourth time. "Did you hear what I said?"

"Hm?" She snapped back to reality quickly. "Sorry, I missed it, what did you say?" She smiled down at her proud face.

"I barely needed to use my crutches today! Only for standing up and sitting down, Hugo helped me." She spoke enthusiastically, finally feeling like she was progressing and getting back to her normal self.

"Gracie, that is fantastic." She enveloped her into a hug, kissing the top of her head as she did so.

"I'm going to Hugo's now, he said he's got something to show me." She smiled up at her Mum and peeled herself away slowly, showing off her steady walking skills as she squeezed past Sam and headed up the stairs at a nice slow pace. Sam watched her heading up the steps, making sure she was okay and almost at the top before closing the door a fraction.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like a caged animal." She sighed and put her cup in the sink to rinse out later. "One more day."

"You sure you're ready to jump back into work so soon?" He sipped from his almost empty cup, studying her closely. There was something bothering her, he could tell by how vacant she was.

"I've never been more ready." She turned the tap off and took a deep breath. "I don't know how I'm supposed to tell her." The words she spoke literally took her by surprise, it felt like a pressure release but she hadn't intended them to come out. There was quietness for a while. The rain outside being the only thing audible to them both.

"Do you want me to tell her?" His voice was low as he moved closer to her, privatising their conversation a little more, not wanting Grace to overhear anything.

"No." She murmured sadly. "It has to come from me. I just, I don't know how to say it. How to explain it." Her hand came up to her head as she rubbed her temple in a distressed manner. Sam's hand moved automatically to her lower back, rubbing it supportively. He was on the verge of speaking, making a suggestion but he wasn't one hundred percent sure if he felt okay with the idea yet so he stopped himself quickly. They stood silently for a while, he could almost _see_ her thinking. She never looked this vexed about anything, it was eating her alive. His hand stopped moving, causing her to remember where they were. She moved away and started putting their used cups into the dishwasher.

"Wait until you've had your twelve week scan and then worry about telling Grace. Duffy said you need to stop stressing."

"Yeah, well it's a little hard to do that at the moment, Sam." She snapped but caught herself quickly. "Sorry, I'm sorry." She stopped moving and rubbed her hand over one side of her face. "I just have a lot on my mind at the moment, that's all."

"I know you do." He admitted sympathetically. "One challenge at a time, yeah? Don't dive head first into a pool of problems, Connie. You'll drown." His last sentence registered with her. He was right. For once. Deal with one thing at a time. She nodded calmly and looked down, Grace's voice grabbing both of their attention.

"Dad?" She bellowed out from the hallway. "I'm ready to go to Hugo's now!"

"Sam Strachan taxi services at her highness's disposal." He laughed as Connie smiled at his comment. "I'd better go, I've said it once before but I'll say it again. Her wrath is worse than yours." She followed him out shaking her head. Saying bye to Grace and giving him a small nod which was received as a shy _thank you_ , she watched them leave. As soon as the quiet crept up on her, she was stuck in a cycle of thoughts again.

/

"You picked a good day to return." Charlie's face was red with fury as he walked along side her.

"Why? What's happened?" She'd only just arrived and bumped into Charlie on her way in. They were headed through reception and towards resus where loud yells could be heard from the front desk.

"Our favourite family is back for a visit."

"Oh, you are _kidding_ me." Her eyes landed on the Ellison clan, all grouped together in resus. Shouting the odds and causing a scene. Nothing new. "Who's in there?" She wanted prepping on everything before even entering that room. Going in there with no info was like stepping into a minefield without a map of the planted mines.

"It's Roy, he's collapsed in the pub and had a funny do apparently. His son, Mickey brought him in, now the whole lot of them are here."

"What the hell is going on in there?" Sam's voice joined in to the conversation as he appeared at Connie's side, staring into the room of madness.

"The Ellisons are here." Charlie and Connie spoke at the same time, awaiting Sam's reaction.

"Right, call security-"

"Sam." Connie cut him off. "That's just going to escalate matters." She looked at him seriously.

"Right, well what do you suggest?"

"I say we go in there, read them the riot act, threaten them with security if they don't calm down and treat him as we'd treat any other patient. Don't give them any reason to suggest we're not offering him the same bill of care. We don't need any more bad press."

"I agree with Connie." Charlie added supportively. "Dylan and Cal are in there already, he refused treatment from Jacob and I haven't seen him since. Getting some air I hope."

"Right." Connie took the notes from Charlie's hand and began reading through them thoroughly as she approached the double doors, Sam at her side.

"Any sign of trouble _at all_ and I'm calling security." He whispered an earnest warning to her, satisfied when she nodded in agreement.

The volume of their yells intensified as they entered the chaotic room, the sounds of anger previously cordoned off by the heavy doors were now hitting them in the face at full force.

"Alright, that's enough!" Sam yelled loudly, not having any sort of patience for their heathen behaviour. "This is a hospital, for God's sake!"

"Oh, really?" Denise asked sarcastically. "Well spotted! I didn't know I needed a bunch of medical degrees and a suit to work that one out!" She proceeded towards Sam, her eyes screaming anger. "Do I look thick to you?!" Her height against him was no worry for her as she prodded him hard in the chest. A territorial feeling burned inside of Connie as soon as her bony finger made contact with his suit. She stepped between them quickly, her back to Sam as she came face to face with Denise.

"I suggest you keep your hands by your side whilst you're in here." She warned calmly with a curled lip. "If I see you lay another _finger_ on any one of my staff members, I'll have you out of here faster than you can blink." Her warning was pretty damn clear. Denise tried to shrug it off, shaking her head as she backed away and returned her attention to her sick husband. Connie kept it together, not looking at Sam for a reaction as she moved in on Dylan's side, attempting to help him treat Roy.

Nobody was prepared for what would happen next.

 **Thanks so much for reading, I'm going to be the most annoying person in the world and leave it on an ugly cliffhanger for the next two or three days! Sorry! I won't be able to update until maybe Thursday or Friday night now! I hope you're all still enjoying this fic, except for the stupid alerts not working! Please, please, please review! They let me know if I'm on track and people are enjoying the chapters still, leave me your feedback! Also, I can't stress enough if you have twitter follow the account I have for this fic as I always tweet the link as soon as I've posted and if you turn on notifications you can be alerted that way instead. Thanks so much everyone!**


	16. Chapter 16: Blame

***Guys, thanks so much for all the support! I can't thank you enough, the reviews are fab and I never tire of reading them! Apparently the alerts problem is fixed now so, I hope you enjoy this next chapter, some more drama going on! But hey, if each chapter was drama-less would it really be a Casualty fic? Each ep is so ram-packed with action and drama, I'm trying to keep the fic close to that. I hope things are moving at an enjoyable pace too, I myself get frustrated with fics where the whole pregnancy is just skipped with an** ** _8 Months later_** **sentence lol. Enjoy and Please review!***

Her hands were warm, wet with his blood.

"Connie?" A hand touched her lightly, causing her to flinch. "Connie, come on. You should go and get cleaned up, yeah?" Jacob's voiced soothed sweetly but she couldn't move. He was crouched down at her side. They were in resus and things had gotten violently out of hand. Her crisp white blouse was now stained blood red all across the front, her sleeve ends matching. The room was deathly silent. She'd been sat on her knees for maybe ten minutes, nobody could get through to her or get close to her, except Jacob. He sighed and turned to face Ethan and Dylan, who looked as equally shocked and pale in the face. "I think she's in shock."

"Perhaps we should go get someone?" Ethan offered unsurely as Dylan just shrugged. They were all at a loss as to what they should do, she was still kneeling in his blood.

"Connie?" Jacob tried again. "It's gonna be alright, he's in good hands upstairs." Right now, his petty feelings towards Sam had been completely pushed aside, nobody should have to go through this. The sound was still echoing through all of their heads. Her screaming and initial panic, which then turned to adrenaline and threw her into action was a remarkable thing the human body could do.

"I should be up there with him." She mumbled and started to move, suddenly appearing to come back to the moment they were all in. The Ellisons had been removed as soon as things started going South.

"Yeah and you can, but we should go get you cleaned up first." his eyes scanned over her hands and arms, they were bloodied up right to her elbows. Her face covered in splats too. It looked especially red against her pale, white complexion. "Come on." He helped her up slowly, everyones eyes on them as he led her fragile frame out of the room. He'd never seen the hospital so silent. There were two police officers stood in reception, they were talking to Charlie and would undoubtedly want to speak to Connie next but she was in no state to speak to them right now.

"No, please." She pulled out of his grip on their way to the staff room. "I need to be up there now." Her breathy words were hard to decipher as she staggered over to the lift instead, pressing the button repeatedly with impatience before quickly losing her temper, pounding the shit out of it. She couldn't get his gargled choke out of her head. The look on his face as he dropped to the tiled floor.

"Connie!" He was quickly at her side again, trying to calm her down as everyone stared on. "Connie, calm down. Come on, I'll take you up there now." He was satisfied with her nod, both of them entering the lift once the doors finally opened.

Today was a day nobody would forget.

Nobody was even entirely certain what'd happened. It all kicked off so quickly. Scott, the less understanding of the Ellison brothers had quickly lost his cool in resus upon learning that a mistake had been made with his Father's care. Things only escalated when he also learnt of his brother's fling with Jez. As one could imagine, things really heated up when Jez thought it best to enter the room and declare his feelings for Mickey in front of _everyone._ Connie was quick to try and diffuse the situation, standing before Jez, arguing that he leave the room. Her back being to the Ellisons, Scott saw his chance, grabbing the nearest scalpel he made a jump for Jez in attempt to impress his Nazi father, only to shock himself and everyone else around him when Sam stepped between them in order to shield Connie. His throat was sliced instantly, as soon as the sharp edge of the scalpel made contact with his skin the room fell silent at the gargled choke that escaped his mouth. Connie in absolute shock as she turned to face a choking Sam, his hands clutching at his neck as he collapsed to the ground, an instinctive reaction to stop the blood rushing out. The rest was an awful blur. She initially panicked, fear overwhelming her but she soon threw herself into action, replacing his hands with hers on his neck as she desperately tried to stem the bleeding herself. Screaming for someone to help her, Cal jumped in, immediately putting his differences with Sam aside. Within minutes he'd been snatched away from their bloodied hands, rushed upstairs and out of her sight. Leaving her mind and body to reel, slowly coming down from her adrenaline high. She was now in deep, unsettled shock.

Once they were upstairs and in the correct place, Jacob sat her down carefully on one of the seats lining the hallway. Sam had been rushed into theatre and that's all they'd been told. She was still bloodied up, still shaking. But Jacob was still at her side. His heart slowed a little in pace upon seeing Duffy and Charlie headed their way.

"What's the news?" Charlie quickly questioned, his eyes flicking from Jacob to a dishevelled Connie. "She needs to go home-"

"I need to be _here._ " She interjected emotionally, not looking at anyone. "I need to be here." She whispered it again, only for herself this time.

"Connie, love." Duffy moved to her side. "You can stay, of course you can stay, but how about we go and get your hands cleaned up and find you a clean shirt? You can't sit here like this."

"Duffy's right." Jacob crouched down again as he spoke. "Me and Charlie will wait right here and _as soon_ as we hear anything, you'll be the first to know, okay?"

They finally got through to her. She stood slowly and allowed Duffy to go along with her to the nearest toilets. Leaving Charlie and Jacob to talk freely.

"What the hell happened in there?" Charlie's voice was gravelly.

"It was Scott." His lip curled and nostrils flared whilst he spoke. "From what I can gather, he jumped at Jez and Connie with a scalpel, that guy has got serious anger issues."

"And Sam jumped between them." He finished off Jacob's sentence for him, finally realising the grim reality of the event.

"I can't blame him, I would have done the same thing."

"Then what happened? I need to get everything straight before the police speak to me again."

"He fled, I mean, he obviously never intended to actually slash someone. I think he panicked and ran. Then Dylan and Ethan called security and the rest of the family was taken out whilst Connie and Cal worked on Sam."

"Where are the Ellisons now?"

"Relatives room and Roy's been moved up to Darwin."

"This should never have happened." Charlie finished his sentence with a shaky sigh. "I guess now we just wait."

"Looks like it."

/

"There we go." Duffy soothed. "That's better, now we just need to find you a clean shirt. I'm sure-" She was cut off quickly as Connie dropped the paper towels she was drying her hands with and lunged for the toilet behind them, her body heaving stressfully as she threw up. "Okay, okay. You're alright, I think you're just in shock." She felt like Connie would be opposed to her being at her side for this vulnerable act but she was too shaken up to actually act in rebellion to it. "Were you hurt in any way?"

"No." She spoke lowly, shaking her head as she wiped at her mouth with some toilet paper. "I need to find out what's going on." After flushing the toilet she stood up straight again, perhaps a little too quickly, causing herself to sway slightly. Luckily Duffy was still on her left side and steadied her up.

"Careful." She knew there was no point arguing so instead, just aided her back out into the corridor where Jacob and Charlie still were. She couldn't sit down, she was too anxious.

"Have you heard anything?" She was quick to question them, eager to find out something, anything.

"No, nothing yet." Jacob stood up. "Do you need anything-"

"I just need to know what the _hell_ is going on." She was becoming distressed again, the feeling of being helpless and not knowing was one nobody liked but it was especially more disliked by a Medic. They were all silenced by her emotional behaviour, which was so un-Connie. She was still shaking and breathing pretty erratically. Guilt plaguing her mind.

"Connie, you need to calm down." Duffy reasoned firmly, worrying not only for her welfare now but her unborn baby's as well. "Behaving like this isn't helping anyone, especially not yourself." She placed her hands on either side of her dainty frame. Forcing some eye contact from her. "Okay?"

"Grace." After a second or two of silence she whispered almost silently. "Oh my God, Grace." She started fretting all over again at the thought of having to tell her daughter the worst.

"I can go get her if you like?" Jacob spoke up, looking at his watch swiftly. "School'll be finishing soon, I can take her back to mine, or yours and keep an eye on her until you know what's going on?" He watched her mind ticking as she thought, her head nodding slowly at his kind suggestion.

"Thank you." She sniffed and exhaled slowly as she rested her hands on her hips, a good attempt at making herself feel in control again. "Don't tell-"

"I won't say a word, I'll just tell her there's been a work emergency and you're both tied up." He gave her a small smile and rubbed her arm lovingly. "He's gonna be fine, I know it."

/

All three of them lost count of the hours they'd been sat there. She was incredibly grateful to Duffy and Charlie staying with her even though their shifts finished at Five. It was now nearing Seven and still no news. She was starting to give in to the anxiety, tapping her foot and checking her watch incessantly. She'd go through the same ritual. Foot tapping, followed by a watch glance, a heavy sigh before standing up and pacing for minute or two then retaking her seat and repeating the same steps over and over again. She was on maybe her Fortieth repetition now and Duffy was beginning to get more concerned.

"Connie, you should eat something, you've been through an incredible shock. Your body needs a boost." Her words were soft, not wanting to aggravate the distressed woman.

"I'm fine." She got up, ready to start pacing again. His blood was now well and truly dried into her shirt. Truth be told she felt sick as a dog, her heart was beating faster than she cared to admit and her stomach was jumping hoops inside of her. Unconsciously she placed her hand on her abdomen softly, soothing herself as she stalked the corridor wall outside of the theatre room he was in. Charlie and Duffy exchanged a worried glance but all three of their attentions were snatched to the double doors as they'd heard someone exiting.

"Ah, finally." She growled and approached the surgeon at a quick pace. "What's happening?" Her mind raced upon staring at the grim looking man in scrubs before her. He, like her, was also covered in what appeared to be Sam's blood. She folded her arms across herself nervously, and instinctual action to protect her vulnerabilities.

"It was a little touch and go, but he's stable for now." There was a chorus of sighs amongst them, utter relief that'd he'd made it through. "We managed to repair the damage and now we're just closing up before we take him up to ICU where we'll monitor him and continue with half hourly obs. But so far, so good." He smiled at their relieved faces. "It'll be a long night though and we'll only allow family in with him upstairs for three hours at a time." He watched them all nodding before heading back inside. Connie felt like her legs were going to give way, slowly she got herself into one of the chairs, resting her elbows on her knees as she leant forward and held her spinning head in her hands.

"Oh my God." She sighed exasperatedly.

"He's gonna make it through, Connie." Charlie reassured, moving to her side and rubbing her shoulder. "He came up under you, if anything he know's how to fight." He smiled at her exhausted laugh, the consolation clear in her smile.

"Thank you, both of you. You should probably head home, you've been here for hours."

"Please, don't thank us." Duffy followed Charlie's lead and moved to Connie's side, giving her a stern look. "We're not leaving until you've had something to eat though."

"I'll run downstairs and grab you something." Charlie offered, ignoring her protests as he headed off towards the lift and disappeared into it.

"I can't imagine how relieved you are." Duffy took a seat next to her whilst speaking. It was so quiet upstairs during the evening, quite the opposite to the ED at this time of night, over-run with drunken fools and youngsters bleeding from any or every limb. There was silence between the two of them for a minute or so before her grave voice cracked the quiet.

"It should have been me."

"You can't think like that, Connie." Duffy warned as she turned to face her instantly. "That's not a good mind set to be in. He stepped between you and Scott out of _choice,_ he wanted to protect you. He obviously cares about you, he acted instinctively in there, there was no way he had time to fully think it through. He just knew he wanted to keep you safe." She rubbed her forearm. "And your baby."

"He wanted to call security as soon as the Ellisons started causing trouble and I said no-" She licked her upper lip, glancing upwards in attempt to stop the tears from flowing.

"You had no idea this would happen, nor did _anybody_ else." She spoke harshly, trying to nip this guilty feeling in the bud. "It happened, someone got hurt and they've come out the other side of it alive. I can't say things would have ended so well had it been you that'd been hurt." She glanced down at Connie's currently non-existent bump. "Because, honestly, had it been the other way around I think things could have been _a lot_ worse." She rubbed her arm again softly. "You need to stop all of this, it's not good for either of you." Referencing to her flat stomach once again she smiled sweetly. "He's okay, he's going to be fine."

"They only had quavers." Charlie returned, his sentence was completely out of touch with their conversation and made both women smile. "What?" He questioned defensively as he got nearer to them.

"You." Duffy smiled up at him and got to her feet, her eyes quickly darting to the double doors as they opened up for the bed to be wheeled out. Connie got to her feet quickly, searching the white sheets for his face as they emerged through the doors. "Connie, do you want us to walk you up there?" The offer was kind and genuine, Charlie was nodding in agreement.

"No, no, I'm fine. You've done more than enough, thank you." She sniffed and gave them both an appreciative half smile, the best she could muster right now as she turned to follow the porters wheeling a bed-ridden and unconscious Sam upstairs. They waited until she was out of sight, the silence overcoming them as well.

"What a day." Charlie finally said it, now it was their turn to deal with the shock. "That family is a toxic nightmare."

"I can't believe things escalated to that level." She leaned into him softly. "She's pregnant, you know." Her latter sentence came from nowhere, shocking him instantly.

"What?"

"Connie." She restated. There was guilt in telling him but she'd be showing soon anyway and she trusted Charlie with her life, she knew he'd keep it to himself. She wanted to share the burden of knowing. At least this way he could keep an eye on her too, especially now that the only other person who knew was currently laying unconscious in the Intensive Care Unit. "She's pregnant."

"Since when? And how do you know?" They entered the lift together, hitting the button to take them downstairs.

"I don't know, she must be around ten weeks now?" She pondered to herself and shook her head. "I found a letter of hers mixed up in the the Nurses's notes, an appointment for a termination consultation."

"Oh." His eyebrows jumped up and he glanced down at her briefly. "So _that_ was the dental check-up."

"Exactly. She changed her mind though, I don't know if it's something I said or something Sam said but she never attended the appointment."

"And Sam, he's the Father-"

"No." She quickly interrupted with a smile. "The pair of them are absolutely _adamant_ it's not his child." Charlie smiled along with her but it soon faded as his mind started ticking quickly, an awful thought entering his head, one that was about to eat at him all night.

/

Jacob stirred in his sleep. The sound of the front door opening awoke him from his slumber. It was gone half eleven, Grace was tucked up in bed fast asleep and he'd abided by Connie's wishes and not spoken a word of what had happened. He'd left that for Connie to deal with in her own way. He sat up swiftly and turned the TV off, getting to his feet as she rounded the corner too.

"Hey." He started off small. She looked absolutely knackered. "I got your text, I'm glad everything's ok."

"Yeah." She spoke airily, setting her bag down in the doorway as she removed her scarf and coat. Her blouse still painted with his blood. "He's, uh, he's doing fine for now." She nodded, perhaps more for herself than for him. She was slightly out of out, partially from fatigue and only having eaten a small bag of quavers. Which, weren't he favourites either.

"That's great news, what did I tell you?" He smiled, following her into the kitchen. "Gracie's asleep, she didn't ask as many questions as I thought she would."

"Good." She sighed slowly, filling the kettle with her back to him.

"Anyway, I'll get out of your hair, let you get some rest-"

"No." She quickly turned around. "Please, have a drink before you go?" Her speech was staggered, obviously her objection to him leaving had come as a surprise to even herself as she stammered out a secondary sentence in order to mask it.

"Sure." He smiled back at her. "You go get changed, I'll do these." He moved over to the kitchen counter where she was stood, her own eyes glancing down over her shirt. She'd completely forgotten about the state of it. Slowly nodding she headed upstairs to change. She glanced in on Gracie on her way back down with a fresh shirt on, to her surprise she was still awake.

"Gracie, what are you doing still awake?" She entered the room slowly, there was a comfortable feeling in the darkness of her dimly lit room. It made her feel at ease.

"I couldn't sleep." She sat up a little, her tired face squinting at her. "Then I heard you get home."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." She sat on the side of her bed, looking over her sweet facial features. She really did look like Sam, it was slightly scary how alike they were. She wondered what'd happen if this baby was to resemble any part of it's Father. The thought made her feel nauseous.

"Where's Dad?" She questioned innocently. "Why am I at your house tonight?" Her eyes stared up at her through the dimness, not a hint of anger in them, just curiosity. Right now Connie could do either two things. Lie and say he was working or just tell her the truth. Although the truth would be ten times harder to actually say, the thought of lying came with it's consequences. She'd have to upkeep the lie until Sam was discharged, then have her faced with the truth regardless because of the large wound on his neck. "Mum?" Grace's voice snapped her back into the moment. She'd dazed off again.

"Sorry, I just, I don't know where to start." She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, Grace was starting to worry now, it was clear on her face. "There was an incident today, at the hospital. Some dangerous people were hassling us all, not letting us do our jobs properly-"

"What's happened to my Dad?" She interjected quickly, sensing what was about to be said. Her big brown eyes filling up quickly.

"Listen to me." She rubbed her arm comfortingly. "He is absolutely fine." The tears in her Mother's eyes were worrying her even more. "He got hurt though, quite badly." She sniffed, trying to harness her hormonal emotions. "But he's fine now, he had to go into theatre and he's got to stay in hospital for a little while but he's fighting fit, Gracie, I _promise_." She pulled the tearful child close, hugging her tight as she sobbed. "That's why I was so late back, I was waiting to make sure he was okay before I came home."

"I want to go and see him." She pulled away from her Mother gently, wiping at her teary eyes.

"Not now, we're not allowed." She sniffed again. "He needs his rest, a bit like you when you weren't very well."

"Tomorrow then?" She was just like him, determined as all hell. It made her smile a fraction.

"Yes, tomorrow you can. You can take the day off school and we'll go and see him, okay?" There was a silent agreement between them both, followed by another loving embrace as she kissed the top of her head and stood up again. "Get some sleep, Gracie."

"Night, Mum." She got herself settled again, still sniffling after her emotional moment. She watched her Mum reach the doorway before calling out again. "I love you."

"I love you too." She smiled back at her and pulled the door closed, leaving it open a little, how she usually liked it.

Jacob had their coffees ready when she reappeared back downstairs, no longer in her bloodied up clothes.

"She still awake?" He questioned as he moved their mugs over to the table, setting down coasters first, knowing Connie so well.

"Yeah, she said she couldn't sleep." She grabbed her mug instantly with gratitude. She was in desperate need of the caffeine boost.

"Sorry, if I'd known I-"

"No, no." She cut him of quickly, speaking quietly. "You didn't even have to be here and you still came and looked after her, so, thank you."

"My pleasure, anything to help." He sipped from his cup. "That goes for any time, I'm always here. You know that, right?" Smiling over his cup he felt his heart warming as she blinked slowly at him, a way of saying _thank you_ without actually have to speak or move too much. There were plenty of seats surrounding them but both had chosen to stand. She was leaning against the counter top and he just opposite her but slightly to the right, perched on the edge of her table. There was a stillness in the room, both of them silently enjoying their drinks. The entire time they were stood there, neither of them breathed a word. She just wanted someone in the house with her, she didn't want to admit that but it was true. He hadn't caught on initially but soon did when they were just noiselessly drinking their coffees.

"Another one?" She offered quietly, setting her mug down when she'd finished.

"No, I'm fine thanks." He smiled. "Any more and I won't be sleeping tonight." He pushed himself away from the table top, moving towards the sink with his own mug as he placed it down. Their propinquity was far more tempting than he'd anticipated, he towered over her as it was but even more so as she was slouched tiredly against the counter.

She could feel the warmth radiating from him and she _hated_ that she was feeling it but she wanted someone to hold her right now, the way she just held Grace and told her everything was going to be okay. She needed that too right now but there was nobody there to give it. Until now. He closed in, holding her hips gently, waiting for her to give him permission to lean in. The absence of vocal protest from her was his cue to go ahead and she didn't dismiss him. Instead, she pulled him closer. Their lips making contact, his hips pressing into her as her hands travelled up his sides and to his neck, holding him securely. Their breaths hitching with the sexual tension rising. His hands moved around her hips and upwards to her lower back, pulling urgently at her new, clean shirt as he pulled it from it's neatly tucked-in position inside her pants. Their tongues fought each other passionately, her blouse slowly being pulled up and as the cold air hit her bare skin something jolted inside of her, a sort of panicked feeling. She broke the kiss quickly, moving her hands from his jawline down to his chest, attempting to put some distance back between them as fast as she could.

"I can't do this." She spoke breathlessly, avoiding his eyes as she put a little more pressure on his chest, asking him wordlessly to move away from her. He was disappointed, admittedly but he couldn't be angry. He was confused too.

 ***Thank you, thank you, thank you! I hope this chapter was okay! It was a little dramatic! I hope it wasn't too insane, please, please, please review! Also a lot of you are asking for more of Connie's past, don't you worry! There will be some of that coming up soon! :)***


	17. Chapter 17: Secrets

***Thank you all again, so much! And thanks for being so patient for this chapter! I've been quite busy! Hope you all enjoy! Please, please review!***

She'd felt nothing but guilt all night. Not only about what had happened to Sam but also for what happened with Jacob downstairs earlier that evening. She had been tossing and turning ever since she climbed exhaustedly in to bed. Glancing at her alarm clock in the dark she sighed miserably. It was 03:17am. Jacob left pretty much straight after she rejected his move, there was a slight feeling of regret about her actions. She didn't feel bad about leading him on as such, it was more of a miscommunication but she did feel bad that Sam was laying in the ICU alone and remarkably injured because he wanted to protect her and instead she was at home getting felt up by another man. _That_ gave her something to think about. She rolled on to her back and huffed at her inability to find sleep as she smoothed her hand over her abdomen softly, she hadn't noticed but she'd been doing it repeatedly since she lay down. It comforted her slightly.

Sleep must have crept up on her quickly after that because the next time she opened her eyes it was broad daylight, the sound of rain woke her up more than the intense light in her room. A second of panic kicked in when she thought she'd slept in. Unlike her usual self she wanted to just lay and wallow in bed today but knew that was't going to happen. Grace was desperate to see Sam and that's what they would do.

/

"Alright, what is it?" Duffy set her coffee mug down on the kitchen counter and grabbed the TV remote, turning GMTV off as she stared at her troubled husband.

"What's what?" He asked with an element of unknowingness.

"You _know_ what." Her raised brows made him roll his eyes as he stood up. "There's something bothering you Charlie Fairhead and I of all people know when there's something on your mind, so spit it out. What's hassling you?"

"Nothing." His answer was followed by a deep breath and a sigh. "I just, I can't get this awful idea out of my head and I want so badly to be wrong but I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm not." He'd moved over to the sink at this point, fully aware of Duffy's worried gaze following him.

"Well, what is it? Maybe I can help." She moved closer to him, rubbing his back as his attention turned to the window in front of them, the rain lashing down on the pane of glass so violently he feared it would shatter.

"Remember when Connie collapsed in resus?" She nodded politely, wondering where this was headed. "And those marks on her arms? I told Sam about them, like we agreed and then I just disregarded the information. Somebody else was aware and that let me off the hook, right?" He glanced at her, noticing her face had changed dramatically. Her concerned facial expression now matched his fretful mind.

"You think she was raped." Her voice was quiet, timid and full of fear. How had she forgotten about those marks and not made the same connection as Charlie? It all made sense now.

"I didn't say that, I just think it's odd that all of this should come about and there's no apparent Father in sight."

"And Sam's been over-sheltering her lately, he's behaving differently around her."

"You've noticed that too?" He turned to face her as she nodded sadly, hoping to God that they were wrong about all of this. "He's practically been smothering her, and then he-"

"Went and landed himself in the ICU taking a scalpel for her." They both stared at one another gravely. "Hold on." She held her hands up quickly and stepped away from him. "Let's just slow down for a minute, we could be completely wrong about all of this, Charlie."

"I know." He nodded, almost in an attempt to convince himself that this was all codswallop. "You're right, let's just take things a step at a time." He sighed and rubbed her arm. "She's taking Grace to see Sam today, I'll try and have a word with her when she's alone."

"Let me know how it goes." She smiled at him sweetly, he was the most caring man she'd ever known, and she could happily call him her husband.

/

"Mum!" Grace called out for a second time, shaking her Mother's arm in a panicked fashion. As soon as her eyes fluttered open and she came back to the real world she was kicked in to a frenzy of her own. They'd been sat by Sam's bedside for almost three hours, he was still unconscious and, in her pregnant state, she'd nodded off in the hospital chair. Her ears were soon greeted with that alarming sound of hospital machines beeping urgently. Before she knew it, she was on her feet on leaning over Sam quickly, her mind and body just went into autopilot and knew what to do before she'd even woken up properly. Sam had regained consciousness and immediately his body started fighting the ventilator. His hands were ripping up to his mouth quickly, trying to remove this foreign object from his mouth and throat.

"No, no, no." She grabbed his hands quickly, moving them back down to his side. "It's okay." She soothed. "Don't fight it, Sam." She looked at Grace's worried face. "Gracie, sweetheart, I need you to press that big red button for me, can you see it?" She motioned with her eyes to the wall and Grace instantly obeyed. "That's it." She smiled at her as she kept Sam's hands by his side. He was still fighting it.

"Mum, what's happening?" Her trembling voice caught Sam's attention, he looked over at her teary face but all of their attentions were snatched back by the nurses barging in.

"What's going on?"

"He's fighting ventilation, we need to get it out. He's compromising himself." She glanced at his monitors and then back down at his face, smiling down at him in a very small way. Almost telepathically telling him everything was going to be okay. Call it spooky but it was as if he'd heard her thoughts, more or less instantly he started to calm down, focussing his full attention on trying to remain relaxed.

Grace was stood in awe, she'd seen her Mum working before but she'd never seen her jump into action that fast. She remained still, marvelling at her Mum as Sam had his ventilation tubes removed. Connie was still stood over him, slightly protectively as the nurses finished up.

"Try not to let him talk too much, he'll still be a fraction sore after surgery last night." The nurse smiled at them both and left them to it. She went to try and say something to him but his hand found hers and he squeezed it tight before she could utter a word, once again she was on the verge of tears.

"Gracie's here." She managed to choke the words out, quickly looking away as she wiped at the tears, pretending they weren't happening. His eyes stayed fixed on her for couple of seconds before he glanced over at a teary Grace. He held his hand out, signalling for her to come closer.

"Dad, your neck." She spoke softly as she neared him, only just witnessing the white dressing around his throat area. She jumped slightly when he tried to speak but Connie placed a hand on his upper arm.

"Don't try and speak, Sam." She sniffed, finally having control back over her emotions again. "I'll get a pen and paper." She pulled her hand away and folded her arms across herself, giving them both a smal fatigued smile before she left. It was the perfect excuse to get out of that room and breathe a huge sigh of relief outside. Her body felt like it was collapsing in on itself as she walked slowly towards the neares nurses station.

"Thought you might need this." Charlie's voice startled her from behind as he held a cup of coffee out for her.

"Thanks, Charlie." She took it gratefully, stopping in the middle of the corridor to speak to him.

"How is he?"

"He's absolutely fine." She smiled genuinely, holding her coffee cup close to herself. "He's through the worst now, he's just got a lot of resting to do."

"Connie, that's great." He sounded almost as relieved as she felt. There was a moment of silence between them as they both basked in the feeling. "I'm happy to sit with Grace at any point today if you need a breather or an hours kip." He rubbed her arm gently. "You look exhausted, Connie."

"I didn't get much sleep last night, that's all." Her free hand moved up to rub her opposite upper arm soothingly.

"Right, well you just make sure you're taking care of yourself too." He glanced down at her stomach harmlessly and that's all he needed to do in order for her to make the connection.

"Duffy told you, didn't she?" Her voice was low but not a hint of anger came through.

"Last night." He smiled small. "She was really concerned about you, as was I after she told me."

"Well, there's nothing to worry about now." She smiled, quickly trying to shrug him off and get out of this awkward conversation.

"Connie." His tone of voice managed to halt her once she'd turned to walk away. She just wanted to ignore everything and everyone apart from Grace and Sam today. Was that too much to ask? She sighed heavily, turning back to face him. "I haven't even congratulated you yet." His smile made her heart ache with relief, she thought he was about to start questioning her. He enveloped her in a warm, small hug and pulled away slowly. "I'll have to congratulate Sam as soon as he's back on the mend." _Well played, Charlie_ he thought to himself smugly, he was trying to work his way into asking her about the identity of the Father. He felt slightly meddlesome but he needed to make sure she was okay.

"No." She corrected quickly. "It's not Sam's, he's not the Father."

"Oh! Sorry, I just assumed because of the way he's been-"

"Suffocating me?" She finished his sentence off, attempting to make a joke out of this uncomfortable situation. "No, that's just Sam Strachan all over."

"Right, sorry, I shouldn't have assumed." They stood awkwardly before he opened his mouth again, this time he'd end up wishing he'd never asked. "And this has nothing to do with those injuries you sustained a couple of months ago? The bruises all over your arms, the grazed face and sweling on the brain?" Although he was speaking carefully and softly, it still hit an extremely raw nerve.

"Don't you dare." She breathed furiously, partially because he'd just hit the nail bang on the head and partially because she was petrified he'd think he was correct. She wanted absolutely _nobody_ knowing the truth about this.

"Connie-"

"No!" She silenced him instantly, suddenly regaining her sparky temper as she warned him off. "You're right, you shouldn't have assumed."

"Mum?" Grace's small voice startled them both, they turned to face her quickly. "Dad keeps trying to talk, have you got the notepad and pen yet?" She asked innocently and smiled up at Charlie. "Have you come to see Dad too?"

"No." Connie answered quickly for him, staring at him intensely. "He just came to ask me something, he's leaving now." That was enough to tell him she was aggressively furious with him, he really didn't want to make matters worse and followed her indirect orders.

"Tell your Dad I say _hello,_ I have a busy day today, maybe I'll pop up and see him tomorrow." He smiled at Grace as she nodded sweetly. Turning back to Connie briefly, he looked down guiltily. "Remember to look after yourself." Grace frowned in confusion at the words he just uttered to her Mother but shook it off as he headed off down the hall.

/

 ** _Look at us with our matching war wounds_**

Sam smiled at Grace's reaction to his written message. They both had matching surgery scars on their necks now, Grace's from when she had an epileptic fit at the court-house and his from a scalpel weilding maniac.

"Matching scars." She smiled. "That's pretty cool." Her little grin made him smile, his eyes flicked over to Connie, she'd been silent all day. It was nearing 5pm and she'd barely spoken a word. He could read her body language and facial expression though. She was hassled. He made her jump slightly as his hand brushed over hers softly, the pen still in his grip. He motioned for Grace to hand him the notepad back and he began scribbling away before holding it up for her to read.

 ** _Are you okay?_**

His hand went back to the top of hers but she pulled it away, not angrily just uncomfortably. Grace was watching on intensely. There was something weird going on, she could feel it.

"Fine." She nodded almost a little too eagerly. "Fine, just tired." The black circles under her eyes told him the same thing. She looked like a shell of the woman she was. He was scribbling away again.

 ** _You should go home, get some rest_**

He tapped her hand again, smiling at her before looking at Grace and scribbling away again. This reminded her of when he'd collapsed with sepsis, he couldn't talk then either and had sweetly written her a scribbled note saying she was a good Mum. She could feel herself choking up again. _Stop, get a grip Connie_ she thought to herself angrily. She hated this lack of emotional control she had at the moment.

 ** _Tell me you brought your iPad? You can't leave me here bored all night._**

"It's in Mum's office." She smiled. "I'll go and get it." She stood up and grabbed her crutches eagerly. She was just so relieved her Dad was going to be okay.

"Be careful, Gracie."

"I will Mum, I'll be back soon. Time me, see how fast I am." Connie and Sam both smiled at her last comment as she left the room, the door closing behind her. They were plunged into silence and it spooked Connie. It sounded awful but at least Sam couldn't speak. He could write though, and that's exactly what he was doing now.

 ** _What's going on?_**

"Nothing, honestly. I'm just exhausted, Sam." She smiled tiredly and rubbed the back of her neck as she leant forward in her seat. "You had me up all night fretting." She let a small laugh out. "Can you believe?" Her head shook lightly at her own words before tuning serious again. "I'm glad you're okay." She whispered emotionally, wiping at her teary eyes yet again. She was a tired, hormonal mess. There were long pauses in their conversation as he kept writing after each answer she gave.

The dimly light room and low yellow lighting was more comfortable than she'd cared to notice. The sky outside was dark again and the night lights of Holby were visible from this floor. It looked silent out there, which comforted her a tad because her mind was screaming with a million thoughts.

 ** _Don't go to your 12wk scan without me, I want to be there._**

He showed her the note, his eyes pleading with her as she read his message and looked at him sadly. She didn't want him being roped into this mess. No matter how hard he argued that he was going to be there and be around for her, she didn't want him to feel obligated to care about this baby. She felt it was harder for men to take on another man's child, women are so maternal as it is, that instinct is built in. Look at herself and Hugo, but she didn't want Sam feeling like he _had_ to chip in and be a Father figure in this baby's life. He shouldn't be burdened with that problem.

"Oh, that." She smiled. "I, uh, I haven't even booked one yet. Had other things on my mind." She lied, sparing his feelings. She had one booked for next Thursday and she was going alone.

 ** _I need to talk to you, as soon as I'm out of here, about you and the baby_**

"As soon as you're out of here, we will." She smiled and rubbed his hand lovingly. This platonic relationship of theirs had always been strange to her but she'd never questioned it until now. She'd felt sick and had no sleep at the thought of losing him, that _has_ to mean something, doesn't it? Perhaps it was the hormones taking over her but she was more than confused at the moment. He folded the notepad closed and sat it on his chest, just staring at her kindly.

"Did I break my record?" Grace charged through the door enthusiastically, iPad in her hand.

"You know what?" Connie glanced at her watch. "I think you did." Sam nodded in conjunction as Grace handed him the iPad and placed his notepad back on the side table with her magazines. "We should probably let him get some rest now, Gracie." Connie smiled over at her and stood up, giving Sam a small smile too. "You can come back tomorrow after school."

" _Or_ I could have another day off and come back in the morning?" She moved back around to Connie's side, her parents smiling at her efforts.

" _Or_ you could just visit after school. Nice try but you're not having another day off."

"At least I tried." She laughed and looked back at her Dad. "Bye, Dad. I'll see you tomorrow, love you." She pretended to catch the kiss he blew back at her, laughing when he jokingly did the same to Connie and she just stared at him, a smile creeping across her own face.

"Save those for the nurses you'll be flirting with tomorrow." She gave him a proper smile and shook her head as they left.

/

"Right and you didn't think to tell me this sooner because?" She dragged out the last word as they drove, the street lights intermittantly lighting up the car as they headed home.

"I forgot." She explained. "It's for biology, Mum. Hugo and I are partners, the project is due tomorrow. Please?" She begged again, she'd completely forgotten about her homework and now her Mum was suspicious about her sudden rememberance of it and she wanted to sleepover at Hugo's. One comforting thought was that Jim was fairly strict on homework and bed time hours.

"Okay, but if I find out you're lying-"

"I'm not lying, I promise! You can even ask Hugo's Dad."

"Alright, well I guess I can't stand in the way of homework, can I?" She smiled across at her daughter. "I'll drop you off once we've picked up your things."

She was slightly relieved Grace was staying out overnight, she felt like she needed some space and time to think. She'd be pretty crappy company anyway. After dropping Grace off and reading her and Jim the riot act about taking her epilepsy pills and doing her exercises before bed, she left them to it and headed home again. She hadn't felt this drained in years. It was a whole new level of pregnancy fatigue, all she'd been dreaming about was a nice warm bath and an incredibly early night.

She put the kettle on first, rubbing the back of her neck as she waited for it to boil. She hadn't thought about it all day on purpose but she'd been fretting since she woke up. The same thought swirling around in her head about this 12 week scan. Although it wasn't a certainty, she knew there was a chance they'd be able to tell her the sex of the baby and it panicked her to no end. What if it was a boy? What if it resembled _him_ in any sort of way, physically or personality wise? She couldn't bare to think about it, it made her feel sick. Pouring the water in to her cup, she placed a hand on her stomach lovingly, almost willing it to be a girl. She turned around with her mug and dropped it in fright, letting a gasp escape her lips.

"You left the door open, don't thow me out, I just wanna talk."

/

Over at Hugo's the room had turned deathly silent. Grace was sat with her back to him, anger brewing inside of her.

"I'm sure there's an explanation, Grace." He glanced down worriedly.

"It doesn't need an explanation, it's there plain as day, Hugo." She grimaced, her nostrils flaring with fury.

"It might mean something else?" He offered kindly, flinching when she turned around quickly, snatching the notepad from his hands and pointing at the black ink ferociously.

" _Twelve week scan_?" She questioned. " _You and this baby?_ What else could that mean, Hugo?" He was silent, knowing there was nothing else he could say to make it untrue. She'd accidentally picked up Sam's notepad from the hospital with her magazines and shoved it into her bag. Upon starting their homework, she'd opened the notepad and stumbled across one side of her parents conversation.

She was livid.

 ***This chapter was such a pain to write! I had soooo many interruptions and distractions all week and then to make matters worse my wifi connection was down today and I've had to re-type and complete this WHOLE chapter on my phone! I'm quite disappointed with it but hopefully it's still enjoyable! Please, please review!***


	18. Chapter 18: Revelations

***I know I say this every time, but honestly I cannot thank you all enough for your reviews and how much you guys seem to like this fic! I never anticipated this amount of iinterest! So thank you! I hope you enjoy this next chapter***

"Okay." She spoke nervously, too afraid to argue with him. He was in a right state. Drunk, again, and he honestly looked like he'd been sleeping rough. In his left hand he was clutching an empty beer bottle with a tight fist, his knuckles as white as snow from his firm grip.

"Look what you've done to me, Con." His words were blended into one another and spoken lazily with intoxication. "You ruined me."

"That's not fair." She whispered back, becoming increasingly more anxious about his shaking hands and twitching lip. He was furious beneath his drunken state. One wrong word and he'd let loose, he was always a nasty drunk. Never able to just enjoy the one beverage, he always went too far and ended up an inebriated disaster.

"Fair?" He laughed loudly, swaying where he stood in the doorway of her kitchen. She remained backed up to her fridge, too worried to make any sudden movements. She was so intensely relieved that Grace was away for the evening. "You want to know what's _really_ unfair, Connie?" He staggered further into the room, coming up to rest on her kitchen counter still clutching his empty bottle. "How you treated me in the past-"

"How _I_ treated _you_?" She couldn't let that one slide. _How dare he?_ She thought to herself angrily. "You were a _pathetic_ excuse for a husband, Michael. Y'know-" She cut herself off with a laugh of disbelief, allowing her anger to get the better of her. "I don't remember a time during our marriage when you _weren't_ sleeping around." Her eyes scanned over his face awaiting some sort of response but she did't get one and continued. "I mean, I physically can't think of one single time. At all."

"Don't act like you're all innocent, Connie!" He threw his head back, becoming frustrated. "I know you did your fair share behind my back too." He looked her dead in the eye, moving his way around the counter towards her. "Oh yeah." His smile sickened her. "I know all about your little flings too. Ric Griffin, Will Curtis, Mubbs Hussein, _Sam_ _Strachan._ " He listed them all slowly, growing a step closer to her with each name mentioned.

"Sam was _after_ we separated." She interrupted him quietly, not quite sure why she needed to add that little sentence in. He was almost face to face with her now.

"Oh _right._ " He laughed. "Well that's alright then, I'll let you off." Still laughing he took a step away from her and she felt a rush of relief course through her. She didn't want him to see it but she was frightened. "Why?"

"What?" She was honestly confused, he'd gone from yelling and laughing to avoiding her stare and talking quietly.

" _Why,_ Connie. Why wouldn't you take me back after I was let out?" His head swivelled, turning to look at her once more. "You still felt something for me, I could tell. The way you rushed down to see me after that reporter attacked me in reception. The worried look on your face, you still loved me. I know you did." He blinked slowly, his words still fusing together in a drunken attempt at reasoning.

"Yeah, well. Sometimes love just isn't enough, Michael." She looked spoke sadly and looked down, crossing her arms over herself and grossly misjudging his body language.

As she attempted to move away from the fridge and out of this cornered position, he leapt forward, slamming his hand by her head against the fridge and trapping her where she was. The sound alone made her heart start beating faster than ever. Her gasp caught in her throat as he forced his mouth on hers. Immediately sickened, the adrenaline in her body was doing it's best to get her out of this situation. Fight or flight, maybe even both. She struggled against him but it was hard, his whole body weight was pushing her up against the fridge door. Her hands found their way to his neck as she kept turning her head, furiously trying to get away from him. His hand mirrored hers and had wrapped itself around her neck, holding her where she was as he choked her slowly. Her skin felt itchy, the lack of oxygen most likely. She kept struggling, her hands now scratching helplessly at his face trying to push him off so that she could breathe. Only when she managed to press firmly on his outer eye socket did he pull back half a centimetre, but it was enough to get the air she needed before using both hands to push his vile face away as she used her knee to knock him firmly in the crotch. He ducked down with an angry yell instantly. The only thing she could focus on was trying to breathe again, coughing and choking as she staggered across the kitchen, getting away from him as fast as she could. Her phone, where was her phone? Her hands gripped at her neck desperately as she coughed repeatedly, she still felt like his hand was on it he'd been squeezing so tightly.

Outside, Charlie was sat pondering in his car. This was a mistake. She'd given him a pretty clear warning that she was angry at him but _not_ doing anything was so _unlike_ Charlie Fairhead. He sighed and turned the car off completely, allowing the silence to echo in his brain. Meddling was his middle name and regardless of whether he was right about Connie's situation, he wanted to fix things between them. Even if that meant apologising for caring too much. He nodded to himself and pulled the keys out of the ignition. Here goes nothing. He opened the door and froze, _what are you doing?_ he thought to himself frustratedly. This kind of behaviour was exactly what he said he was going to stop. It only caused more hassle and drama that he didn't need and nor did Connie for that matter. He folded his lips together and sat back in his seat, closing his door again. An apology will be just as good in the morning, if not better, she would have had time to cool down and he'd have a more constructed apology together in his head. _Tomorrow it is._

 _/_

Recovering from the knee he'd received to his crotch, he'd caught her in the living room again, demanding an answer as she still struggled for air. Cornering her once more, she felt like she had no fight left anymore. He wasn't going to stop, no matter what she said.

"I want an answer, Connie! Why'd you do it? I lost everything because of you! I lost my home, my friends, my _family,_ the chance to have kids! You robbed me of all of that! Why?!" He bellowed furiously, swaying with each yell as his eyes rolled around. Watching her back touch the wall, he stepped closer again. She had nowhere to go now. She still couldn't get a word out, her neck felt like it was on fire as she continued to cough. "WHY?!" With no answer being given to him, he lost his temper for a final time. He lunged at her, replacing his hand around her neck again as she cried out in agony.

"Please." She managed to choke her words out. "Michael." She clutched at his hands on her throat, squeezing them helplessly. "I'm pregnant." She was unable to notice but as soon as those words left her pleading mouth his face relaxed, almost as if he'd been hit by a truck. He let go instantly and she crumbled to the floor in a heap, once again clasping at her neck and over-breathing in a desperate bid to make up for the lack of oxygen she'd just experienced. Each time she coughed she could feel her oesophagus burning with pain.

"Pregnant?" He asked slowly in an eerily calm manner. Not that she could answer, as she was still gasping on the floor. He looked down, regret taking over his mind as he lowered himself unstably. He tried to help her up but she was having none of it. Regaining some strength from somewhere she slapped at his hands aggressively.

"Get your hands off me!" Her words were hoarse with trauma as she shuffled away from him. she desperately wanted to be back up on her feet again, get herself out of this vulnerable position she was in on the floor.

"It's mine?" He gushed, now jumping to a joyous emotion after just moments ago being a mere few minutes away from killing her. She remained silent, aside from her struggled breaths. Both of their heads turned to the door when they heard movement.

/

"It might be a nice thing, to have a brother or sister. Don't you think?" Hugo was still attempting to lighten Grace's mood, but to no avail. They were both tucked up in their beds. Grace by the window and Hugo over by his wardrobe.

"I don't know, Hugo. How do _you_ feel about it? Keira will be having hers soon." She kept her back facing him, stewing angrily.

"Honestly? I was angry, at first, but now I'm quite excited. I'll have someone to play with and I won't be on my own anymore." He was smiling to himself as he spoke, he'd finally come to terms with the fact that this baby was coming no matter what and he could either embrace it or fight against it pointlessly. He chose to do the first option, everyone was happier that way too.

"At least I'll still have my Dad."

"What do you mean?" Hugo sat up in his bed, looking over at her in the dark. He could barely see but the moonlight spilling through his curtains was resting on her outline by the window. She was so still.

"Mum and Jacob will be too busy fussing over a new baby and I'll be ignored but at least I'll still have Dad."

"I thought Mrs Beauchamp and Nurse Masters split up?"

"Yeah, so did I but obviously not." She huffed frustratedly. "She never tells me anything."

"She'll still love you. A baby won't change that, Grace." She was silent again, he was at a loss. He didn't know what to say anymore.

"Between her precious job and a new baby, she won't have time for me. She barely has time for me now."

/

The blanket they'd draped over her wasn't really doing much, she was stilled chilled to the bone and shivering. Mostly down to shock, it was strange that all of that just happened to her yet her brain was still thinking quite logically.

"Mrs Beauchamp?" The police officer crouched down in front of her, not wanting to tower over her and inflict a feeling of threat. "We'll need you to make a statement at some point, okay? Not now though, you've been through enough tonight." He smiled warmly. "Are you sure we can't get the medical team to check you over? Your neck is already started to bruise."

"I'm fine, thank you." She spoke delicately, not wanting to aggravate her throat. It still felt like it was on fire. She was so relieved she'd managed to find her phone and dial 999 before he'd got to her again, the call receiver had heard everything and dispatched someone immediately. Michael had been arrested, he put up a fair fight screaming and yelling about his unborn child but she never confirmed it was his. That's the last thing she needed, for him to be sniffing around once the baby was born and wanting to be the Father he was never meant to be.

"Is there anyone we can call for you?"

"No, nobody." She wrapped the blanket around herself a little more tightly.

"Alright, well you're safe now. Make sure you get yourself checked out tomorrow, okay?" He rose to his feet and grabbed his hat. She followed behind them gingerly, locking the door after they left.

As soon as the silence waved over her she felt like the floor had been snatched from under her feet as she fell against the wall and slid down it slowly. When would things start to get easier? She wondered to herself miserably, touching at her tender neck as the tears rolled down her cheeks.

/

Sam awoke the next morning to a glorious sunrise, he had the perfect view from this floor. He jumped suddenly, realising there was a nurse and somebody else in the room.

"Charlie Fairhead." He croaked cautiously and sat himself up.

"Ah, so he speaks." Charlie smiled, nodding politely at the nurse as she left the room. "They said you were talking again."

"Talking, walking, eating." He laughed gently. "I'll be out of here tomorrow, back to normality."

"That's great, you take a scalpel quite well. I'm impressed!" He laughed and took a seat. "I was actually trying to kill two birds with one stone this morning, I was hoping Connie would be up here."

"No." Sam shook his head slowly, reaching for his bedside grapes. "She said she'd come up and see me this morning but I'm guessing she's busy downstairs."

"Actually no, she's nowhere to be seen downstairs either, that's why I checked up here." He frowned with puzzlement.

"Have you tried calling her?" Sam's brows furrowed too as he chewed carefully on his grapes.

"That's next on my list, I owe her an apology actually." He looked down and sighed, causing Sam to press him on the matter. Something he was great at.

"Oh? What did you do?"

"Not so much what I did but what I said." He curled his lips apologetically. "Duffy told me she's pregnant - and you're not the Father, I know." He rushed through the last few words noticing that he was about to interject and say the same thing. "Do you know who the Father is?"

"No, I haven't asked her." He lied pathetically and turned his attention back to the grapes. "Why do you ask?"

"I'm worried about her, that's all."

"She's Connie Beauchamp, she has things in hand. She always does."

"But that's what worries me, she'll battle on through anything. Regardless of any emotional or physical trauma. It's not good for a person, especially not a pregnant person." He sighed regretfully. "I asked her if those bruises had anything to do with this pregnancy."

"And now she's pissed off."

"Bingo." There was a long and uncomfortable silence between them. Sam was teetering on the edge of sharing personal information but his mind and heart were arguing about whether it was a good idea or not. His head was telling him to stay the hell quiet, Connie would bust his nuts if he even so much as breathed a single word of it to anyone but at the same time his heart was telling him to let Charlie know. He was the closest thing to a friend slash Father figure she had and having him by her side would have more benefits than consequences. His heart won.

"She won't go to the police, I've tried to persuade her more than once but she won't have it."

"The police?" Charlie's head perked up as he sat forward with intrigue.

"Her ex-husband, Michael, the one that was in with the Ellisons a couple of weeks back." He paused, readying himself to say it. "He took advantage of her, the night she near enough gave herself alcohol poisoning."

"Oh my God." Charlie exhaled the words in a whisper, his hands wiping at the sides of his face with shock. "He _raped_ her. She needs to go to the police."

"She's adamant about not going and I can't force her." He shrugged helplessly.

"He's not a threat though, is he?" Charlie asked with concern clouding his eyes. "I mean, he was in here shouting the odds, he's obviously been hanging about the place. I thought he was in Stockholm."

"I don't think so, he hasn't reared his ugly head since he was admitted here." He chewed on another grape before quickly speaking again. "You don't breathe a word of this to anyone."

"You have my word for it, boss." After sitting in shocked silence for a couple of minutes he got to his feet slowly. "I'm gonna go and give her a call, find out where she is." He smiled sadly at Sam, they both felt deflated for her. God only knows what she was going through right now.

"When you get hold of her, tell her I want to speak to her."

"Will do." He nodded and left the room, pulling his phone out immediately and calling her number. No answer.

/

The day dragged on miserably. Nobody saw or heard from her all day, she just never showed up which was extremely uncharacteristic for Connie. Charlie was becoming increasingly more concerned. Sam had called Grace and not managed to get a hold of her either. Perhaps she was just feeling under the weather? Pregnancy can do that sometimes, maybe she was just feeling crappy and had taken the day off? But still, Connie would have informed someone about her absence. He must have so obviously been in la-la-land as he plodded down the corridor towards reception, he actually had to look back and do a double take upon seeing her walking towards her office. It was almost Five O'clock and she'd finally shown up. Quickening his pace, he caught her before she closed the door causing her to jump out of her skin.

"Jesus, Charlie!" She exhaled shakily, her hand nestled into the thick scarf wrapped around her fragile neck, concealing the hideous marks Michael had cursed her with last night.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." He smiled apologetically and closed her office door quietly. "Nice of you to show up, at the end of the day."

"Please, don't start Charlie." She managed to push the words out with a slight echo of sound to them, otherwise they were hollow, hoarse sentences. He frowned immediately.

"You sound awful."

"I feel awful." She clutched at the scarf on her throat and looked down. "I, uh, I think it's contagious so I'd steer clear." She fought the words out and skated around him to the door, holding it open for him indicating she was still angry. Ignoring her silent request for him to leave, he stepped towards the door and re-closed it again.

"Sounds like laryngitis to me, have you been to see your GP?"

"I'm fine, just a sore throat and cold." She motioned to her scarf and removed her coat before taking a seat at her desk, she knew he wasn't going to leave until he was ready and quite frankly she literally didn't have the voice to yell him out of the room, she'd had three hours sleep and felt like zombie.

"You should be at home resting, Connie. Especially in you're-"

"If your next word is _condition_ then please, don't even bothering finishing that sentence." Her cracked voice still conveyed her perfectly angry tone, giving him a clear warning.

"Alright." He held his hands up apologetically. "I'm sorry about yesterday, I spoke out of turn and I shouldn't have asked such a ridiculous thing. I'm just worried about you and I want you to know that there are plenty of people surrounding you that care and you're not alone." His words swilled around in the air for a few seconds, she looked down and sat back properly in her chair.

"Thank you." The raspy words were genuine, hard to hear but definitely genuine. He smiled with relief.

"I went to see Sam earlier, he's getting discharged tomorrow. He said he wants to speak to you, we've both been trying to get hold of you all day."

"Yeah." She smiled, it looked like an effort but he knew she was unwell and shook it off. "He messaged me earlier, that's the only reason I came in today." Motioning to a pile of paperwork she got to her feet again. "To see Sam and grab some things to work on at home."

"Good, take a few days to recover. We've actually got a new consultant starting this week, relieve some of the pressure a bit."

"Perfect." She smiled, this time in-genuinely as she slotted the paperwork into a folder in her bag. Another new consultant, just what she needed.

/

She couldn't face him. Call her a coward but she just couldn't do it. She left as discreetly as she'd entered, leaving Charlie under the false impression that she'd headed upstairs to see Sam. She just wanted to be at home, away from everyone. That was the safest way to be. She exhaled slowly, trying to expel the horrible feeling over being overwhelmed as she drove them home. She'd already collected Grace and was completely oblivious to the silence between them.

"Aren't you even going ask how it went?"

"Sorry?"

"Our project, we had the presentation today. The one Hugo and I worked on all night?"

"Of course." She wheezed regretfully. "Sorry, sweetheart. How did it go?" Trying to ignore all of the awful thoughts plaguing her mind she focussed her full attention on her daughter.

"We both got an A." Her tone of voice went seemingly unnoticed by Connie.

"Gracie." She gushed proudly. "That's fantastic!" She glanced over at her briefly as they pulled into the driveway.

"I want to go see Dad."

"Not tonight, Gracie. You can see him tomorrow, he's being discharged in the afternoon." They both exited the car and headed inside, Grace making a bee-line for the stairs as soon as they entered the doorway.

Connie watched on in confusion as she raced up to her room in an apparent temper. Probably the fact that she couldn't go and see Sam. She sighed sadly, dropping her bag by the staircase and making her way into the kitchen. _Keep busy, Connie. Keep busy._ She thought to herself encouragingly as she began preparing tea. Her movements were immediately halted when her eyes landed on the empty beer bottle sat on her kitchen counter. Just the sight of it was a horrific reminder of last night's events. That's when the reality of the situation actually hit her properly. What he'd done to her, the way he forced himself on her. He nearly _killed_ her. She sat down at the table slowly, not caring about food anymore as she sat and festered in her thoughts. She felt sick again, just the mere memory of him touching her made her skin crawl and her stomach jump. She stood up quickly, the nausea overcoming her. She tore the scarf from her neck in a panicked fashion, feeling suddenly claustrophobic and hot as she leant over the sink, heaving painfully.

She managed to calm herself down after a solid twenty minutes of complete silence and her swirling thoughts, not enjoying the feeling of wallowing she pulled herself up by the bootstraps, so to speak. Connie Beauchamp would be broken by no man. Anger quickly took over the previous feeling of self-pity. _He's been arrested, I'm going to make a statement and he'll be away from me._ That was her first reasoning sentence in her head as she threw the bottle out angrily. _Grace is doing well, progressing faster than anticipated._ Thought number two made her smile as she started cutting up vegetables. _Sam's okay, he's being discharged tomorrow and things will be back to normal. I'm okay._ She breathed out calmly, giving herself little pep talks in her head was how she allowed herself to bounce back from things. Either that or just ignoring the situation altogether but obviously, that option wasn't working for her this time.

"So when were you going to tell me then?" Her angry little voice carried through the doorway, causing Connie to cease all movement and turn to face her.

"Tell you what?" As soon as her Mother spoke, Grace's face altered immediately from an expression of pure anger to something that looked more like genuine concern.

"Mum, your neck." She gasped quietly, moving further into the kitchen as Connie uselessly tried to cover the marks with her hand.

"It's nothing, Gracie. Just a little bruising, that's all."

"There you go again." She stopped walking, her face becoming stony again. "You don't tell me _anything._ You're _always_ keeping things from me!"

"Grace-"

"I know about the baby, Mum."

 ***Wow. This took me so long, I got so stuck with it. I think I had like, writer's block or something! I hope it was okay for you all, obviously there'll be repercussions of Michael's actions, I'm not just going to leave that area unexplored! Thanks so much for all of your reviews, they're so amazing! I look forward to reading more after this chapter, please give me feedback! It really helps!***


	19. Chapter 19: Ghosts and Heirs

***Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing the last chapter! And thanks to those offering such great constructive criticism, I really appreciate it! I felt like the last chapter was really messy and all over the place so I started writing this one pretty much straight after I'd updated, I want to redeem it! I hope you enjoy and please, please, please review!***

"So what happens now?" Sam asked firmly, his voice had completely recovered and the wound in his neck was healing quite nicely.

"The ball is still in my court, if I want to press charges for assault I can." She cleared her throat and stood up from behind her desk, wanting to do nothing but ignore this situation and just get on with her duties.

It had been a week. A really long, drawn out and stressful week. Sam had Grace living with him again and she hadn't uttered a word to Connie since that night. She'd told Sam about the marks on Connie's neck and upon being discharged he muscled his way in on her life again, near enough forcing her to make a statement and get the ball rolling with having Michael sent down on assault charges. Honestly, he had no idea how she was dealing with all of this alone. She still astounded him, even after ten plus years of knowing her.

"If you _want_ to?" He questioned angrily. "Connie, he tried to _strangle_ you."

"I know exactly what he did, Sam!" She barked back, becoming irritated. She had a lot on her mind today, what with Michael and Grace, then there was her twelve week scan this afternoon, which Sam still didn't know about and she intended to keep it that way. She felt a little frazzled and she was definitely taking it out on the wrong people.

"So, tell me you're going ahead and pressing charges. The man is a drunken lunatic, Connie." He blocked her from trying to leave the room. "He needs to get what he deserves."

"Yes, alright." She slammed her files down on her desk furiously. "I am pressing charges, now move out of my way." Her growled words had the desired effect, he stepped aside obediently and let her past. She was a force to be reckoned with today and he knew he ought to watch his step.

Entering resus, she let a small exhale escape her mouth as she tried to regain a steady composure.

"Ethan, what've we got?" Her stethoscope was whipped off in an instant and at the ready in her hand.

"This is Malcom Fisher, he was involved in a horse-riding accident about an hour ago. Cracked sternum and several broken ribs."

"Show-jumping?" She questioned the patient calmly as she slipped her stethoscope on and placed the head of it on his chest, listening intently.

"Yes." He breathed uncomfortably, surprised at her accurate guess. "Last minute refusal, Goldie never refuses a jump."

"Well, he did this time." She quipped back with a smile, still listening to his heart.

"Goldie's a _she,_ I'd never put my life in the hooves of a male." He laughed before wincing harshly. "Ah! My ribs!" His precious horse had only gone and stood on his chest after refusing this said jump.

"Mr Fisher, you _have_ broken a couple of ribs so you'll have to take things easy for the next few weeks. And no more show jumping for you for a while I'm afraid." Ethan spoke calmly whilst Connie finished up with her stethoscope.

"Yes, I'd like to send you for an echo as well, just to be on the safe side. Okay?" She smiled and nodded back at him, walking away after sanitising her hands. She felt like she was flittering from patient to patient today and would be all day.

"Mrs Beauchamp." Cal grabbed her before she left the room. "The new consultant hasn't arrived yet, do you know when we should be expecting him? It's a little tense down here today, we could really do with him turning up within the next fifteen minutes."

"Uh, no, sorry." She glanced around the room and then back at his expectant gaze. "I'll chase it up with Sam, see what the hold up is."

"Thank you." He bowed in his step slightly before getting straight back to his patient.

/

"Your new consultant is off to a great start." She spoke sarcastically, flicking through some case notes at the nurses station. She didn't even have to turn her head to the figure that just appreared at her side. She knew it was Sam.

"I knew he'd impress, how's he meshing with the rest of the team?" He held his neck delicately as he spoke. Technically he should have been on paid leave until the end of next week but he wanted to get back to it straight away.

"Honestly, I wouldn't know, he hasn't shown up yet." She closed the file and turned to face him, her fiery sarcasm coming to a simmer when she clocked his hand on his neck.

"He's what?"

"You shouldn't be back at work so soon, that still looks tender." The concern in her voice was shining through so blatantly obviously but she didn't care, for once.

"He hasn't shown up yet?!" He looked at his watch irritably. "I knew his resume was too good to be true." His words were hissed furiously.

"I hope that's _my_ resume you're talking about." The Irish accent floated between them airily, causing them to turn around suddenly and face the not so mysterious voice. The familiar stranger's face dropped, as did Connie's.

"Well, well, well." He chimed. "Here's a face I _never_ thought I'd see again." A wide grin occupied his face. "Connie Beauchamp, queen of hearts."

"Mr Douglas." A very small smile briefly graced her face but her expression didn't match his.

"Please." He begged jokingly. "Drop the formalities, Connie. You can still call me Greg."

"You two know each other?" Sam asked exasperatedly, looking between the two of them like he was watching a table tennis match.

"I did a stint of work with the lovely Mrs Beauchamp a few years ago in London." He never took his eyes off of her, noticing her shift uncomfortably under his gaze. "Loved _working_ with her so much that I followed her back to Holby."

"Right." Sam's brow raised for a moment, still glancing between them. "Well, you're already late Mr Douglas so I think it's best we get on with things."

"Indeed." He shook his head regrettably. "Sorry, I forgot your name?" He held his hand out, finally looking at Sam and smiling when he finally shook his hand.

"Sam Strachan, Medical Director."

"Ah." His tone was glazed with realisation, the lightbulb above his head was almost visible. "Of course, Grace's Daddy?"

"Yes." There was a prickly pause in his sentence as Connie rolled her eyes. "That would be me." Pulling his hand away with an irked sigh, he threw Connie an unimpressed glance once he realised this was probably a fellow bed mate of hers. "Follow me Mr Douglas, we've got a lot to cover."

"I'll see you later, Queen B." He gave her a wink before spitting his gum out and following behind Sam. She was left stood in bewilderment. Had that _actually_ just happened? Of _all_ the possible candidates Sam could have chosen he _had_ to have unwittingly selected one that she'd bedded? Luck really wasn't on her side at the moment. Don't get her wrong, he was a nice guy but she could really have done with out the extra complications at work. Things were messy enough at the moment without him swanning around charming every single person who crosses his path. So long as he stayed out of her way today, things might go swimmingly, but her appointment still loomed.

And it snook up on her quickly. Before she knew it she was laying on the bed, cool gel coating the skin on her abdomen in preparation for the scan.

"Are we waiting on anyone?" The older nurse by her side asked kindly.

"No, I'm on a time push too so if we could just get on with it please." Her cold front wasn't anything personal against this woman, she was just anxious and covered it with iciness. It sounded unfeeling and not very maternal but she just wanted this over and done with.

"Right, as you wish. Lay back for me please, this'll be a little cool."

/

"Who's the Irish bloke?" Louise whispered curiously, her eyes following the fresh meat around with pure interest.

"How the hell would I know?" Alicia glanced up at him too, studying his appearance, admiring it slightly. He was tall, not to mention a little handsome.

"He's the new consultant, Greg Douglas." Cal tore his attention away from the computer screen before him, joining in the conversation and putting the girls' curiosity to rest. "He worked up on Darwin for a bit."

" _Another_ one from Darwin? We'll have the whole ward down here next." Louise moaned.

"From what I've heard, he's pretty impressive." Cal defended him quickly, trying to remain positive about the newcomer. God knows, they needed the extra pair of hands around here.

"You said that about Strachan too before you guys broke up." Alicia chimed in with a smile, flashing Ethan a look of glory when Cal rolled his eyes touchily.

"Whatever." He shook them off quickly. "I have a mountain if patients building up. I'll catch you losers later." He scooped up his patient notes and dashed off into resus again. Leaving them to continue on with their gossip session.

"One of the agency nurses said he was an old flame of Connie's, said she worked with them up on Darwin and she reckoned they were sleeping together." She was still watching him, a smile painted across her face. The lack of response from her friends invited her to turn her attention back to them. Their faces were frozen, looking past her worriedly.

"Do you do background checks on all the new ED staff, Nurse Tyler or just the ones I've supposedly slept with?" Connie's voice nearly gave her a heart attack as she turned around quickly, the look on the clinical lead's face made her heart jitter.

"Mrs Beauchamp, sorry, I-."

"No, _please,_ do go on." She interrupted and smiled a fake smile. "I'm intrigued now, what else did you find out, hm?" Her arms folded across herself, awaiting a good response but she'd be waiting a while for that. The fake smile disappeared instantly as her attention was drawn to Alicia and Ethan stood behind Louise with amused looks on their faces. "Why don't you all do me, yourselves and your _patients_ a favour and get back to work. This isn't a school _playground_ Nurse Tyler." She spat angrily and watched them all scurry off quickly. Feeling accomplished she turned and walked straight into Greg's chest, gasping loudly.

"Do you rule with an iron fist _all_ the time? Or do they know you're a pussy cat really." He smiled down at her cheekily but she was in no mood for his Irish charm.

"Not now, Mr Douglas." She shrugged him off and moved around him but he grabbed her arm gently, turning her to face him. She looked really hassled, which should have been a good indicator for him to leave her well alone.

" _Mr Douglas?"_ He questioned with disbelief. "Come on now, Connie. You're not still being like that, are you? Call me Greg, I'm not a stranger." He laughed, confused as to why she was acting so weirdly with him.

"Right, fine, Greg. Whatever." She held her hands up with irritation. "But really, _not_ now." She snatched her arm from his grip and headed towards her office.

"What was all that about?" Sam appeared next to a bewildered Gregg having just caught the last of their miniature tiff.

"Honestly, you're guess is as good as mine baby daddy." He laughed, smacking Sam's upper arm as he headed off in the opposite direction. This guy was already rubbing Sam the wrong way but his CV truly was impressive and his input would be a good thing for the ED. So long as he didn't affect other aspects of the working environment. One aspect in particular. Connie. His thoughts grew in detail as his eyes found their way to her office door. Admittedly he'd returned to work far too soon but he was beginning to think she had too. Who knows what kind of trauma she'd experienced, she wouldn't talk about these things which made it literally impossible to know how and if she was even coping or dealing with these issues.

Approaching her door swiftly, he wasn't about to to break old habits any time soon and entered without knocking.

"What do you think?" He closed the door behind himself and went straight to her window, peering out at Greg as he spoke.

"Think about what?" She asked monotonously, her attention completely taken with paperwork in front of her.

"Douglas." His one word still wasn't enough to interest her, forcing him to turn around and look at her. "What do you think of him?"

"He's Greg Douglas. He's good at his job, got a lot of experience. I don't know what else you want me to say, Sam." The disinterest her words held made him curious about their past.

"I didn't realise you two knew one another. It's not going to be a problem, is it?" She let out an exaggerated huff, telling him he'd hit a nerve as she sat back moodily.

"Why exactly would it be a problem?"

"Forgive me if I'm _wrong_ , but I feel like I'm not mistaken in thinking you two have slept together."

"And?" She questioned back defensively. "You and I have slept together, has that affected how we work together?" Her quick retort made him shake his head.

"Fair play, I guess. I just want to make sure there's going to be no underlying issues with him working here that's all. I saw you talking out there, it looked a little heated."

"Yeah, well, believe it or not I have more pressing matters than Greg Douglas on my mind right now, Sam." She stood up promptly, her temper getting the better of her once again but he beat her to the door, slamming it shut before she could leave.

"Woah, woah, woah." His words were uttered quickly, bringing her temper to it's boil as she turned around irately. She wasn't necessarily angry at him. Just angry in general, at everyone and everything. Avoiding his gaze she turned around to face her desk again. Breathing out steadily. "What is going on with you today?"

"What do you _think_ is going on with me?" She practically hissed the question at him, instantly regretting it when her words registered with her own ears. Closing her eyes slowly, she moved back over to her desk chair, sitting down defeatedly. "Sorry."

"Well, are you going to enlighten me?" Moving over to the couch he disregarded her fiery quips, attempting to be understanding of her current situation. He sat himself on the arm of the chair, looking on at her and waiting patiently. She was staring down at herself, her refusal to speak invited him to fill the silence again. "Look, I'll talk to Grace, try and get her to cool down a bit. She's just having a hard time swallowing all of this, that's all." He smiled comfortingly but it was wasted, she didn't look up at him.

"Yeah, her and me both."

"She'll come around, eventually. You never know, when she or he is born she might even _enjoy_ having a younger sibling around." He offered kindly, a sweet gesture to try and cheer her up but it didn't seem to do the trick. There was sat soundlessly for a minute or two before her voice disturbed the still air.

"He." The soft murmur floated straight past his ears.

"Sorry?" He tilted his head slightly, almost as if it would help him hear her better.

"The baby." Licking her upper lip slowly, she locked eyes with him for only a brief second before leaning forward on her desk. "It's a he-" She halted herself and paused, taking a deep breath before continuing gingerly. "I had my twelve week scan this afternoon, they told me the sex."

"You went on your own?"

"No, Sam, I took George Clooney with me." Her sarcasm was on level ten today and she couldn't for the life of her turn it down. "Of course I went on my own."

"I told you'd I'd go with you-"

"Oh, God." She threw her head back and rolled her eyes. "I can't do this, Sam. Not now." Standing up, she finally lost her cool altogether and headed towards the door again.

"Do _what?"_ He grabbed her arm, halting her in front of him. "Why are you so afraid of letting people in, Connie? What do you think is going to happen?"

" _W_ _hat?"_ She repeated his first question back to him in disbelief. "This! Me and you playing _Happy Families_ like it's actually going to work! I won't _let_ it work, because what happens when you find someone and settle down with them, hm? When you have kids with someone else? We'll just all get along and share you around at Christmas? This is not your _problem_ to try and solve. It's my burden, _not_ yours."

"This story is getting _really_ boring now, Connie." He argued back stormily, he was sick of saying the same thing to her over and over and over again. "Whether you like it or not I'm always going to be a part of your life, we're practically tied to each other forever."

"You're Grace's Father, that's where I draw the line. _This_ baby has _nothing_ to do with you, I don't expect anything from you and he'll know from the start you're not his Father. That's it, end of discussion."

"And what about what I want?"

"This is not about what _you_ want!" He could see pain behind her outrage, and it was coming to a head. "If this child turns out to be _anything_ like his Father I _cannot_ and _will not_ allow you to take on that responsibility-" She quickly silenced herself, her emotions overwhelming her once again as her hand came up to her mouth. Her breaths quickened in pace for a couple of seconds whilst she recomposed herself. "It's not happening."

"That's what you're worried about, that he'll resemble Michael in some way?" She remained quiet, turning her back to him as soon as he'd began to speak. "That won't happen, Connie." His voice was calm again, slightly easing her worked up state.

"You don't know that."

"But I do because I won't let it, _I'll_ be there-" He broke off his sentence for a second, as if primping himself for the next words about to leave his mouth. "As his Father, if you need me to be?" The room fell silent, they were both shocked at the sentence he'd just uttered. It escaped his body before he even knew it was being said.

"No." She shook her head adamantly, marching back to the door and holding it open for him. "I'm not arguing about this any more, your involvement ends now."

"Connie-"

" _Please,_ Sam. Just leave it!" Her eyes were looking anywhere but at him. He stayed silent for a couple of seconds before standing up from the arm of the couch and heading her way. Halting when he was stood in front of her.

"Message received, loud and clear." Pushing past her he made his way down the corridor and out of sight. She was left in the silence of her office after she re-closed the door.

It physically pained her to push him away like that after he'd just offered to Father this baby that wasn't even his. That marked how mature he was now but she couldn't drag him into this mess and the only way to get rid of him was to be venomous and hurtful. It worked a treat.

She felt hollow, this was what she was most afraid of. Carrying a son that she might not be able to love, that she might possibly even resent. Her mind was blank and her body numb, sitting back down again she took a deep breath to calm herself. Relatively speaking, she didn't have much time to adjust to this revelation. She was gone twelve weeks now and she was starting to show ever so slightly. Nobody else could see, obviously. It was only a very small, neat bump at the moment and could still be concealed extremely easily with her clothes but that wouldn't be the case forever and that was a whole new can of worms that would open up after that.

/

She was so transparent now, he'd come a long way in reading her moods, body language and behaviour and this was her pushing him away for no other reason than because she was scared. Over the last couple of weeks he'd become increasingly more concerned that she was suffering from a Traumatic Disorder or Syndrome of some sort. Grace had inadvertently mentioned a few things to him too about her Mother that set alarm bells ringing in his head. She'd had more panic attacks whilst he was in Hospital, which he was unaware of until Grace spoke of it. She was apparently not sleeping well and stirring regularly during what little sleep she did get, accidentally waking Grace some nights. In addition to these more recent behavioural traits, he'd been cleverly monitoring her closely for a while now, wanting to be sure before he broached the topic with someone. This was made a lot easier now that somebody else was also aware of this delicate situation.

"Charlie, can I have a word?" He stepped in to the staff room with a purpose, Duffy was in there with the veteran Nurse. "In private, please?"

"Sure." He stood up, Duffy following his lead before catching on and speaking up.

"I'll leave you to talk alone." She smiled and headed out of the room swiftly, making sure to close the door behind herself.

"What's this about?" Charlie approached the sink area and leant himself against the counter, watching Sam move uncomfortably before him. He was obviously sitting on some issue that was bothering him deeply and he had a good guess what and who it was about.

"It's Connie, I'm not one hundred percent certain but I'm concerned about her mental and emotional state."

"Okay." He started calmly. "Well, we know she's experienced something traumatic, so that makes sense." Agreeing with him, he looked down and sighed before returning his gaze back to a fidgety Sam who had now perched himself on the arm of the couch directly in front of Charlie. "What are you thinking? PTSD?"

"No, but not far off. From what I've gathered, I think she's in the outward adjustment phase of Rape Trauma Syndrome." There was blank sound for seven seconds, the words taking a while to register with Charlie's brain.

"I know certain aspects of this particular syndrome but I'm not up to speed on every phase of it." He admitted and crossed his arms unsurely. "Have you spoken to her-"

"No, I don't need to have spoken to her about this Charlie!" Blurting it out urgently he sighed and tried to regain his self-command. "Look, I've been keeping a close eye on her and she's displaying almost _every_ _single_ one of the main coping strategies that rape survivors employ in their lives after getting back into their normal lifestyles." He was speaking at a rushed pace, almost panicking but Charlie still didn't look convinced, which infuriated Sam to no end as it would normally be the other way around.

"I don't know, Sam." His voice was coated with uncertainty. "Connie's a hard case to crack, she just deals with things differently to most people." Noticing the pure vexation on Sam's face he decided to ignore his own thoughts and pressed him to continue, he obviously cared for her enough to be discussing this with him. The least he could do was listen and offer any help he could. "What exactly are these coping strategies?" Sam stood up straight, eager to inform and began listing them off on his fingers as he spoke.

" _Minimisation_ , she's pretending everything is fine and ignoring that it even happened, which also comes under _suppression,_ she refuses to discuss any part of it with me or _anyone_ else." Pointing at his middle finger he continued to list them off expertly. " _Anxiety and panic attacks,_ which she has been having persistently since the attack. Grace said she's hardly been sleeping, she's startled easily like she's always on edge and nervous. Mood swings, unwarranted angry outbursts, hyper-vigilance, distancing herself from those closest to her." He exhaled exasperatedly. "Do you need me to go on?"

"Okay, alright. That all sounds pretty relevant." The older man nodded, their expressions now mirroring one another's. Sam could sense a _but_ coming.

"But?"

"But what are you planning on doing with all of this diagnostic information? Stage an intervention? Make her speak to a counsellor?" His words were empty and held no faith. "This is Connie we're talking about, Sam. That's not gonna go down well with her."

"That's why I need your help, I don't know what to do anymore."

 ***I'm trying to get back on track and I needed a chapter that kind of introduced a doorway for new story lines and also kind of addressed the fact that I haven't disregarded how deeply affected Connie is by all that has happened to her, there will be more of that to come obviously and this is where her past will be explored too. I feel/hope this chapter has done this and hopefully I'll now find it easier to follow on with another chapter after this one and yesssss there will be more Connie/Sam interactions in the next couple of chapters. I feel like I have to ease into their closeness slowly as I think that's how their characters would roll in real life haha, I hope you all enjoyed regardless!***


	20. Chapter 20: Still Water Runs Deep

***Thanks for all of your reviews! I love reading them! I've spent a lot of time over the last few days plotting some story lines! I hope they're good ones! Thanks again and I you enjoy this chapter!***

They were so calculative, it kind of scared Sam just how orchestrated this little plan was. Charlie was right though, being as stubborn as Connie was there wasn't a chance in hell she'd take their advice or accept any help from them. So, they had to take matters into their own clever little hands. Cooped away in the relatives room they felt their discussion was more private in there as opposed to their initial conversation about the topic three days ago in the staff room. It was nine o'clock in the morning, Sam had just done the school run with Grace and dashed into work as soon as he could. A hot coffee waiting for him, courtesy of Charlie.

"Thanks." He took the cup gratefully, the air outside was brutally icy. Taking his scarf and coat off he was fast to sit down and start talking. They had't been able to talk over the last couple of days in private. Until now.

"Cool out there?" Charlie asked, taking note of his reddened nose and winter wear.

"Arctic!" He placed his cup down on the table and rubbed his hands together violently in a desperate attempt to warm his fingers up. "She's still not speaking to me."

"Give her time, she'll come around."

"I still don't know how we're going to get around this. She's so hard-headed, she's not going to hear me out. She never _has,_ so why would she start now?" The helplessness was showing through in his tone of voice and facial expression.

"It's not about making her hear you out, we have to tailor our course of action to her. Consider her temperament and personality and _then_ devise a way of dealing with this."

"So, where do we start?" Sam rubbed his hands through his hair in a stressed manner, grabbing his cup again and sitting back in the couch more comfortably.

"Her behaviour right now is standoffish, she's isolating herself, yeah?" Sam nodded in response, his eyes narrowed with intrigue. "But we know she's crumbling on the inside, this is her way of guarding herself."

"It's almost like an armour she puts on every morning. I don't know how she does it." Sam shook his head as he spoke, not talking seriously but unknowingly making an excellent point to Charlie.

"Every armour has it's weak spot." The pair glanced at each other slowly, their minds turning a mile a minute. "So what's hers?" Charlie posed the question and they sat in complete silence for a while until Sam spoke up.

"Control?" He uttered it as a question, causing Charlie to tilt his head with interest, silently asking him to expand on the idea. "She can't _not_ be in control of a situation, it messes her up. It throws her off completely and then she gets even more distant and abrasive because she's losing her grip on the circumstance and has to push everyone away from her."

"Right, I'm afraid I'm not following." The older Nurse really didn't know where he was going with this little theory.

"So, instead of badgering her and sitting on her case all the time, I should approach the matter in a way where she's still in full control. Or at least she thinks she's still in control."

There was soundless air around them, Charlie was still not completely following but Sam suddenly had a thought brewing, this might just work for he too was harbouring a painful secret.

/

"What on _Earth_ are you doing?" The Irish accent flittered past her ear, her body jerked as she flinched from shock, causing her to drop the cans of drinks she had resting in her arms.

"Max and Jez said one of my main duties as the newbie nurse was to pass out staff drinks, sort of like an initiation task." Her words were shaking with nerves as she peered up at the the tall doctor.

"Initiation?" He questioned inquisitively. "You're new?"

"The newest." She smiled sweetly, attempting to hold her hand out for him to shake but she almost dropped everything again.

"Save the handshake." He laughed and took some of the cans from her. "I'm Greg by the way." They walked along side one another and entered the staff room, gaining an eyeroll from Connie upon seeing him drooling over a nurse already

"Mr Douglas." She addressed him briefly as she brushed past them on her way out.

"Queen B." His eyes followed her intently, almost craning his neck to get a glimpse at her behind as she passed by. The quip didn't go unnoticed either, she shot him a stony glare from over her shoulder as she left the room swiftly, the new nurse completely oblivious.

"Newbie nurse, put your _staff drinks_ down here." Clearing the table by the lockers he watched her set them down, smiling at her the whole time.

"Sorry, my name's Anna, I forgot to introduce myself. Nerves, I guess." Her eyes flickered up to his only momentarily, otherwise her focus remained fully on the cans. "Shouldn't I be handing these out?"

"Ah, sweet Anna." He uttered smoothly, moving around to the same side of the table as her so he too could stare out at the centre of the ED. "You have so much to learn." The tone of his voice was slightly mocking. That's when she clicked.

"This isn't an initiation task, is it?"

"No." He shook his head. "You, my friend, have been duped."

"I'm so stupid." Huffing sadly she slumped on to the stool behind her. "I just wanted to fit in and impress on my first day, now I look like a right numpty."

"Aw no." He cooed."Don't be so hard on yourself, here look, I can teach you the basics." Sitting down beside her, they gazed out of the windows at the milling people. "Right, see him there?" He pointed behind the reception desk. "That's Nigel, or Noel-"

"So you don't even know their names either?" Her concentration was turned to the side of his face as he tried to charm his way out of his own mess.

"You know what? Names aren't important, let me just cut straight to the chase. You ever even worked in a hospital before?"

"Not until about twenty minutes ago."

"Right, we'll start from the beginning. In _any_ hospital ward or department you have your basic hospital hierarchy, okay?" He glanced down at her, making sure she was following. Her small nod confirmed this. "So, what you really need to know is where you stand amongst the rest of the staff."

"So a who's better than who type of deal, yeah?" Her question faltered towards the end seeing his face scrunch up.

"Not necessarily. They're just different levels with different job descriptions. Like you, for instance, you shouldn't be buying anyone drinks because you were told to." He laughed at her blushing. "Especially not by people on your level."

"Well, what about you then? What _level_ do you live on?"

"I live between you and the alphas."

"Alphas?" Her brows furrowed harshly. "What are we, animals?"

"That's exactly how you've got to view it in order to survive here, dear Anna. This is a lion pride, there are alphas, workers and outcasts. You do't wanna be an outcast." He looked back out to reception, his posture suddenly becoming more upright. "Here! look, look, look." Tapping her arm quickly and pointing out of the doorway he got her to follow his eyes, finally settling their gaze upon what looked like a definite somebody. Suited up and flicking through notes expertly.

"Who's that?"

 _"That_ is your alpha male." He smiled, hearing her laugh slightly. "Sam Strachan, Medical Director. He's the head honcho around here."

"So, I should steer clear of him, right?" She sounded unsure, almost as if he was scaring her.

"Steer clear if you want, yes, or just be extra polite with him. Either way you should be okay. He's lenient with the ladies, so I've heard." He nodded surely, looking back to the doorway. "Ah, perfect timing. We're sat by the watering hole at _exactly_ the right time today." Her eyes moved back to the doorway too, landing on Connie's frame.

"Alpha female?"

"Bingo." He whistled at her correct answer as they both continued to watch her and Sam interacting at the reception desk, it looked like they were bickering. Again.

"Same deal with her right?"

"Nooo." His stretched out one-word answer made her look at him quickly for an explanation. " _Never_ challenge the alpha female."

"Why?" Her word was quivered out of her mouth.

"She's ferocious, I've crossed her once before and let me tell you it wasn't pretty." He exaggerated.

"Okay." She swallowed hard. "Alpha male, Sam Strachan, be polite. Alpha female-"

"Connie Beauchamp." He interrupted, remembering he hadn't given a name for her. "Honestly, she's a pussy cat really. Y'know, underneath the sharp teeth and that lion costume. But still, avoid confrontation if you can. She'll eat you alive." He stood up again, realising the time. "Basic training lesson over, you know your level, your alphas and your allies. Don't let them push you around, little Anna."

"Thank you." She laughed worriedly and stood up too, straightening her uniform up.

"Nurse Stafford." Connie's voice travelled through the room, startling both Greg and Anna. "You're half an hour into the job and already taking breaks and cavorting with consultants, anyone'd think you weren't worried about impressing on your first day." The underlying bitchiness of her comment was more than evident.

"N-no, sorry, I was just, Greg-"

"Ah, _Greg?_ " Connie smiled, looking at the back of Greg's head as he motioned to Anna to avoid confrontation. "You're on a first name basis already? How sweet." Her smile vanished remarkably fast. "Mr Douglas, can I have a word please?" Throwing her attention back to Anna she looked her up and down before talking again. "Get back to work, Nurse Stafford. First impressions count for everything."

Greg was right, this woman meant business. As soon as they disappeared for this _word_ they were having, Anna's act of shy, nervous, trembling nurse vanished as quickly as Connie's smile had. She'd slipped under the radar completely.

/

"What's up, Queen B?" He followed her into her office, attempting to close the door behind himself but she stopped it quickly with her own hand before moving to stand behind her desk.

"Don't get comfortable-" Before she could even finish her sentence she heard the door shut. Letting a frustrated sigh out, her eyes darted up to his, non-verbally asking what the hell he thought he was doing.

"Don't pretend you haven't missed me, Connie." He smiled in a flirty manner, approaching her desk slowly and licking his lips when she let a small scoff escape her mouth.

"Of course, who wouldn't miss that Irish charm of yours?" Her sarcasm cut through the air sharply

"More than just the charm though, right?" Wiggling his left brow, his smile soon turned into a frown realising she wasn't biting. "Ah, come on, Connie." Leaning down slightly, he rested his palms on her desk, his head almost level with hers. There was something about her that was different now, he just couldn't put his finger on it. "Tell me you _don't_ wanna pick up where we left off."

"Ok, _I don't want to pick up where we left off_." She smiled coldly. "There, happy?"

"No, but I'm not gonna stop trying." He stood up straight again, she finally felt like she could breathe comfortably. She wasn't enjoying this. Normally she'd feed off of the thrill of dangling herself in front of men and then snatching away the opportunity but now it all felt too threatening. Even with someone as harmless as Greg, his relentlessness and persistence was making her uncomfortable. She didn't feel safe anymore.

"Please do, it's not going to happen. I _never_ make the same mistake twice, Mr Douglas." Acting as normally as she could, she hit back with a good line before trying to return this conversation back to what she originally intended to discuss. "Showing up on time-"

"Ah, I know." He wrinkled his face dramatically. " _It's important_ but my car wouldn't start this morning, I'm here now aren't I? What's the drama?"

"That's not the point."

"Yeah, well." He huffed irately. "I can't _go back_ and be un-late, can I? Look, I won't do it again, I promise." He raised his brows, awaiting her approval. He got it, after a couple of seconds in limbo.

"Make sure it _doesn't_ happen again."

"Go for a drink with me, tonight, and I promise I won't be late again. Ever." A last attempt, he tossed all caution to the wind and asked one last time. He'd soon be wishing he hadn't.

"Like the drink I asked you to go for and you turned me down for _Joseph Byrne_?"

"Oh my God." He laughed disbelievingly. "You _remember_ that?" Obviously, to him, it was just an ordinary night but for her it was a hellish evening having just being almost choked to death in her office by a deranged, grieving man.

"I never forget." She smiled briefly, standing up and grabbing her stethoscope, replacing it around her neck.

"So you haven't forgotten about us, how much fun it was?" Stepping closer to her, they were both startled suddenly, unaware that her office door had been opened seconds earlier and Sam was stood territorially in frame.

"Didn't you hear her the first time, Mr Douglas? She said _No."_ His brows arched, holding the door open a little further. "Don't you have patients to see to?"

"Right you are." He shot Connie an apologetic look, he hadn't meant any harm by it. He just wanted to _re-acquaint_ himself with her in the way they had been previously acquainted. In bed. Or on a desk. Without another word he left the room, glaring at Sam questioningly as he did so. Sam watched him intently as he left, closing the door behind him and turning around to face an unimpressed Connie.

"I don't need you to fight my battles, Sam. He wasn't hassling me, he was just-" She stopped, attempting to think of the word. "Being Greg."

"Right, I'll just ignore how uncomfortable you looked and pretend you were actually enjoying that conversation then, shall I?"

"Sam-"

"No." He stopped her quickly, shaking his head whilst his face screwed up with irritability. "Don't start, I didn't come to argue, I'm here for nothing other than work related business."

"Right." She finally spoke after a while of shocked silence. "What is it?"

"Roy Ellison, he's dead."

"What?" Her face dropped immediately. "But he was fine, he was in _recovery."_

I know, it all went downhill pretty quickly last night. He died this morning. His _family_ are on the way." The look on her face made him feel a certain way, having her worry about him felt nice. Sort of protected. She'd instantly picked up on the uncertainty in his voice.

"Well, you need to steer clear of them-"

"As do you." He interrupted. "They're a vile and angry family, nobody in this department is to interact with them. Security are escorting them in and out. But I especially don't want you anywhere near them."

There was a moment of warmth between them, she couldn't quite tell if it meant something or the fact that she didn't feel that awful uncomfortable feeling with him, she felt safe with him. Like he knew her so well she'd be okay in his hands. The same went for him, his mind was racing, this feeling that'd been niggling at him wasn't in his head, he knew that now. The sickening feeling he felt at the thought of something happening to her, it signified something deeper than just a duty of care to the Mother of his child.

"Right, thank you." She talked quietly, not knowing quite what to say next. "I'd better get back out there, we're a consultant down today. Elle called in sick this morning." Her body language screamed awkward to him, urging him to leave things at that. But when did Sam Strachan ever leave things alone?

"I know you remember everything." They were now almost back to back as she'd walked around him and started to reach for the door, his voice halted her movements. She couldn't speak. "About that night I mean, I know you haven't forgotten it. I just want you to know _when_ ever or _if_ ever you're ready to talk, I'm here."

Not another word was uttered, she left the room straight away. Of course she remembered it, the whole process of it was etched into her brain forever. Endlessly playing over and over and over again when she tried to get to sleep every night. Constantly replaying not only the physicality of the event but also the dialogue too. She'd never forget, never be rid of such a horrific memory. It'd follow her to her grave. She'd kept up the pretence that she was so drunk she couldn't remember, which to begin with was one hundred percent true not only because of the alcohol consumption but also the knock on the head she got but surely enough in the weeks following she'd slowly started remembering certain aspects, a bit each day until finally she had the whole recollection of it stored in her brain. She couldn't get rid of it.

Initially, she'd tried to fool herself into thinking she couldn't remember anything because the thought of having to think about it made her ill, and in regards to having people know about this, she really didn't want that happening. So, the best way to ensure others didn't think she was lying was to fool herself into thinking this pretence was true. Almost how one would deceive a lie detector test, the only way to stump it is if you whole-heartedly believe what you're saying. But that wasn't working anymore and Sam could see straight through it.

/

There was no drama with the Ellisons this time, each and every staff member was glad to see the back off them as they were escorted out of the building, hopefully for the last time. Sam had obeyed Connie's orders and she his. Both staying far away from them. They hadn't spoken since being in her office that morning and the day had idled by slowly. Now nearing four o'clock, he felt like the time was right to approach her with what he'd been stewing about all day. It was a big step for him. He hadn't even let Charlie in on what his plan of action was, it was personal. He was scared, admittedly, but if it meant she'd let him in then he was more than prepared to do it. If he showed her his weak spot, maybe she'd let her guard down a bit and feel more like the one in control again, like he was the one who needed help. Not her.

"Connie-"

"Sorry, not now, Sam." She was walking quickly towards those infamous double doors. "There's a gun-shot wound in resus."

"Gun-shot?" His primary focus quickly changed with the news he'd just received. "Nearby?"

"Broad daylight, in the middle of a busy high street in Holby. This world is getting so _reckless._ " Her last word was hissed as she pushed the resus doors open with force, Sam hot on her tail.

"Queen B, I could _really_ do with those gentle hands of yours over here." Although he still kept his comedic antics at play, there was an urgency in his voice. The patient had just been rolled in, Iain and Jez had just finished handing him over and he was bleeding profusely.

"We had under control, as soon as we entered the hospital he freaked out and dislodged the packs we'd placed." Iain spoke apologetically, looking between Sam and Connie for affirmation that it was okay. Sam's small nod gave him just that, allowing them to leave the room, Connie was too busy trying to move in and help Greg to stem the bleed.

"The bullet has _just_ skimmed his heart." His blue eyes connected with hers, a look of wonder in them. "This guy is lucky not to have been killed straight up."

"Let's just focus on the patient, shall we Mr Douglas?" Sam stepped in, becoming concerned for this man's life. "What's his name? Do we know what exactly happened yet?"

"It's Peter Holland, aged 53 his friend brought him in. Apparently he had an altercation with a guy down the bookies, about some owed money or somethin'. Then he was shot point blank in the chest, there's no exit wound on his back. The bullet is still inside." Louise gave Sam all the info he needed, unaware that her words had halted Connie's thinking process. _What the hell was happening?_ She thought to herself with disbelief. All these faces from the past were just flooding in and she couldn't stop them, each and every one of them were having a horridly profound effect on her life and she had no choice in the matter whatsoever.

"Connie?" Sam questioned, seeing her stood motionlessly. His words seemed to do the trick, kicking her back into action. The patient had been coming increasingly more distressed, making it hard for Greg to keep pressure applied to the entry wound. However, as soon as Connie's name was uttered he became still. Looking at her fearfully.

"I think he's on warfarin-"

"You think or you know?" Greg's tone was getting a little aggravated, he was buckling under the ED pressure.

"Somebody check his notes!" She snapped behind herself, reacting on his aggravation, she too became irate and panicked. Louise was quick to check his notes, scanning through them at high speed.

"Con, is that really you?" He gasped the words out breathlessly. "We've really gotta stop meetin' like this." His Peckham tainted accent rolled over every goose-bump on her body.

"Yeah, you're right." Louise interjected hurriedly. "2006 he was admitted here at Holby with Rheumatic Fever, prescribed Warfarin after a valve replacement-" She stopped suddenly, not sure if her eyes were deceiving her, Sam looked at her oddly as Connie and Greg continued to keep pressure on his chest, barking out orders to everyone around them. "A valve replacement performed by you two." Finally completing her sentence she looked between Connie and Sam for a reaction, he looked clueless, but Connie didn't.

"Give me the notes." He took them from her, looking for himself, trying to jog his memory. Oblivious to the words just uttered from this guy's mouth. Greg heard though, he was staring at Connie confusedly before trying to snap her out of the trance she'd slipped into.

"If he's on warfarin, we _need_ to act fast. His blood isn't clotting, Connie!" Greg looked at her for instruction but she wasn't responding.

"Nothing we do is going to work." She whispered it helplessly. Not able to look at anyone other than Peter. "I'm sorry."

"Please, Con." He begged, becoming more and more delirious by the second. "I'm _sorry_ for what I did to you, you know that right?" She grabbed his hand quickly, squeezing it.

"I know." She choked the words out, refusing to let herself weep in front of anyone in the room. Sam had just realised who he was, he knew that he and Connie knew one another but _how_ they knew each other he wasn't quite sure of. They treated him back in 2006, in fact it was himself who discovered it was Rheumatic Fever. Much to Connie's surprise. She was right though, there was nothing they could do. He was on warfarin, a blood thinning medication. Effectively it was just _not_ going to clot, no matter what they did. Especially not with the rate at which he was bleeding out. The best they could do was make him comfortable, it'd be over in less than minutes.

"Turn the machines off." She spoke authoritatively, an air of gloom in her tone.

"We can't just stop-" Greg began but was interrupted sharply by Sam.

"There is _nothing_ we can do, Mr Douglas. Give the man some dignity and turn the machines off."

He stood defiantly for a moment, looking at Connie for more input but she kept her gaze on Peter's face, he was paling quickly. No longer able to talk, he just squeezed her hand even more tightly, finally feeling peace overcome him as the awful bleeping stopped ringing in his ears. Whoever invented those machines was smart, no doubt about it, but nothing panicked a human more than not only knowing you were slipping away but also having machines right next to you beeping frantically to confirm you were on your way out.

His breathing was shallow and the room silenced, his last breath audible to all.

Greg threw his stethoscope angrily, looking at everyone individually with a disappointed glare as he stormed out of the room. Connie was still holding his hand, she let go upon feeling everyone's stares burning on her back.

"Time of death, sixteen twenty four." She stepped away, feeling guilt cover her shoulders heavily as she brushed past Sam. He knew where she was going, straight to her office, her only place of refuge in this hospital. Leaving him stood in resus, she exited through the double doors only to be pounced on by an infuriated Greg.

"What the hell was that?!" He spat ferociously, his accent strengthening with his rage. "Is that what this department does?! Decides a human's fate based on how hard and time consuming it is to try and save him?! 'Cause if it is then I want _nothing_ to do with it!"

"You need to calm down-"

"Don't tell me what to do!" He bellowed stepping closer to her, everyone was tuning in at this point. She knew he was passionate about his job and he was just upset, if she could get him to calm down then she could speak to him reasonably. He looked broken, like what he'd just witnessed made him lose faith in all humanity. But that was something he needed to get used to in Emergency Medicine, this wasn't a cardio-thoracic ward where more than likely you're presented with complicated yet planned circumstances. This was an ED, you don't know what's coming through the door each time it opens.

"This is an _Emergency Department-_ " He wouldn't let her complete her loud, irate sentence.

"And you." He shook his head not listening to a word she was saying. " _You_ should be more ashamed than anyone! You _knew_ him and you just let him die!" Stepping closer again, he was in her space, far too close for comfort. Although he wasn't physically threatening her in any way, his voice was hostile and she felt compromised. Before her brain could even process a thought, she slapped him across the face with force as soon as the words exited his mouth. Sam had foreseen something happening and was midway out of the double doors when he saw her strike him, he quickly jumped between them.

"Alright, that's enough!" He held his arms up, separating the two from even being able to see each other. Having his back to Greg, he looked down at Connie. She looked extremely distressed. Noting this, he turned around, his arms still up a fraction. "Mr Douglas, take a walk. Get some air." His nostrils flared angrily as his eyes panned over the Irishman's reddened cheek. He had to give her props, it was must have been a hellish slap to leave such a mark. "And get back to work everyone! Show's over!" He yelled intensely glancing around, the gobsmacked staff surrounding them quickly got back to their business. Anna was in pure shock, her first shift and her new unauthorised mentor had demonstrated behaviour he'd specifically advised her to avoid. He'd challenged the Alpha Female. In the mean time Greg had shaken his head with disbelief and walked off furiously. Sam watched him leave, just to be sure before turning back to Connie but she was gone. His eyes darted around before spotting her entering her office and shutting the door behind herself. Being Sam Strachan, obviously he followed her and entered. Without a knock and closed the door behind himself.

"Please, don't start." She stated emotionally, as soon as he entered. Her head was in her hands, her posture hunched as she sat defeatedly on the edge of the couch, elbows resting upon her knees.

"I'm not starting." Loosening his tie, he sighed loudly and slumped down next to her.

Both sat soundlessly for ages. He wasn't sure how long it actually was but it felt oddly nice just sitting there with someone and _not_ saying anything. She didn't move, her head remained in her hands, her body leant forward as his was sat back in the chair comfortably. After what seemed like only a few minutes he looked at the clock, shocked to see they'd been sat motionlessly and speechlessly for over twenty minutes. Connie brewing over Peter and what just happened with Greg, and Sam festering over the thought that had been plaguing his mind all day.

Their seemingly comfortable silence was interrupted by Sam's phone chiming in his pocket, he ignored it. Not moving a single body part he just let it sing out. This was when she finally moved.

"That might have been Grace." She whispered tiredly, turning her head in his direction but not looking at him.

"It wasn't, she set her personal ringtone on my phone to a Harry Stylish song."

"Styles." She corrected.

"What?" Finally using his body muscles, he turned to look at her.

"Styles, his name is Harry Styles." She smiled at the pointlessness of their conversation, as did he but she soon retracted back to a depressive state.

"There was nothing we could have done, Connie." He reassured her but he knew it wasn't enough. "He was losing too much blood and far too quickly. He was a lost cause and Greg knows it, he's just upset."

"I know." She huffed and sat back too, crossing her legs. "It's just infuriating."

"It's Emergency Medicine." The silence consumed them again before his curiosity got the better of him.

"How did you know him? Peter Holland, I mean. I never asked that the first time we treated him." He spoke calmly, ignoring everything that just happened with Greg, he didn't want to hassle her more than she already was.

"He was just a school friend, from Peckham." Her legs shifted uncomfortably. His memory flicked back to her Medical history notes sat in his desk drawer at home. Perhaps Peter had something to do with her teenaged pregnancy? Upon having this thought, he left that topic well alone for now. Instead, his thoughts floated back to the fact that she was dealing with all of this unnecessary stress and had just barely entered her second trimester of pregnancy. None of this could be doing her or the baby any good.

"How are you feeling?" The way his eyes glanced down at her midsection was enough to tell her he was asking about her pregnancy.

"Fine." Her small nod was awkward in manner, making him think hard about his next question.

"Why won't you let me help? This must be _so hard_ on you, I can't begin to imagine, and you're hellbent on making it even harder-"

"This topic is _not_ up for discussion, Sam." Standing up quickly, she excused herself from their strangely intimate yet non-physical moment.

"I don't want to _argue,_ Connie. I've had enough of _arguing_ with you." He sighed and leant forward, his elbows resting on his knees as he played with his stethoscope in his hands. The fatigue in his voice made her reassess the situation as she lowered herself into the chair behind her desk. Her hand moved delicately to her tiny bump, caressing it over the top of her clothes soothingly as she looked over his troubled face. _What was wrong with him?_

"Well, just leave the matter alone and we won't have to argue." She responded sharply, unintentionally. "It's not rocket science, Sam."

"It's hard for _me."_ His voice was raised a little, shocking the pair of them before he returned his focus back to fiddling with his stethoscope. "My life hasn't turned out at all how expected it to." He smiled emotionally. "I always thought I'd settle down, get married, have kids. Maybe even get a dog? Who knows? But _this_ is not what I imagined. I mean, I love Grace, more than words can even describe. And Kieron too, but trust me to have two kids, years apart, have no involvement with them, have two different women Mother them, marry neither of them and then miss my chance altogether." She didn't realise it but she was listening intently to his heartfelt words. He was really choked up.

"I don't know how many times you want me to apologise-" She started regretfully but he interjected.

"No, no, that's _not_ why I'm saying this." He gushed immediately, knowing she'd totally grabbed the wrong end of the stick. "I owe you thanks. If you hadn't have done what you did, I wouldn't have Gracie in my life." His face positively beamed when he so much as thought of her, it was really endearing.

"Well, I mean you're not _completely_ past it." She joked. "You'll settle down some day, and have kids and a dog, if you really want one." Her last sentence made her heart ache and her face drop. She thought of him starting a family with his own kids, Grace's half siblings, and it hurt. She was useless at these kind of pep talks.

"No, you're not listening." He let a small scoff escape in the form of a light laugh holding no humour, preparing to spit it out. "I missed the boat." His lips folded together as he looked to her for her response but she wasn't following. His face was now deadpan, struggling to comprehend that such a smart woman wasn't catching on very quickly. "I'm firing blanks, Connie. I can't have kids."

"But you're girlfriend, Emma, she was pregnant-"

"That was a miracle, a short-lived one but a miracle nonetheless. The chemo and radiotherapy more or less finished me off, the damage was too much. I took it all for granted. Years of messing around with girls that I had no interest in starting a life with and now, when I want to settle down and start living my life properly, it's snatched away from me." He shook his head, annoyed at how he was pouring his heart out to her right now. She was silent but her heart broke for him. "And then I see you, dealing with all of this and I want to help, I want to be there and experience it because I'll never have the chance to now. The scans, the nappies, the night-feeds-"

"I'm so sorry, Sam. I had no idea-" Her words were genuine, feeling awful for him but she was cut off.

"You know." He continued. "You and Grace are like my family. I mean, that's sounds cheesy and it's _not at all_ conventional but it is comfortable, I _care_ for you both and you keep pushing me away when I _want_ to help, I _want_ to be in this baby's life because it's the closest I'll ever get to a complete family. A half sibling for Grace and another child of yours. I can ignore the fact that he's not _mine_ so long as he's a part of you and Grace. Does that sound screwed up?" His face furrowed quickly, suddenly aware of the words he'd just spoken. He wasn't mindful of how he actually felt, until now. He was one hundred percent prepared for and _wanted_ this baby. A son that he could actually be there for this time, it wouldn't redeem him for being absent with Kieron but he'd get the chance, maybe his only chance, to do it right this time.

"No." She whispered, disrupting his thoughts. "It's not screwed up." She licked her upper lip smoothly, her eyes flickering upwards momentarily as she tried to fight the tears balancing heavily on her bottom lids. She hated feeling this hormonal and emotional all the time. Trying to shake it off, she opened her desk drawer slowly, as if still contemplating her next move.

Truth be told, she was relieved. Not that he couldn't have children of his own, but that she could _finally_ stop fighting him off in fear that if she let him in, he'd be a Father to this child for however long it suited him and then leave as soon as a better offer presented itself. He was doing this for as much his own selfish reasons as it was him wanting to help her. He had more incentive to _want_ to stay now. She moved away from her desk, approaching him slowly as she sat back down next to him where she had previously been. Not glancing at him and he not at her, she smoothed her thumb over the small photograph in her hand before handing it to him. It was like deja vu. Flashing back to 2007 after she had her twelve week scan with Grace. His face lit up as he took the scanning image from her, she watched him intently trying to gage his reaction whilst he studied it yearningly.

"I can't do this on my own." Her lip quivered and her voice hitched with her heartfelt whisper. It stole his attention and he stopped admiring the photo before looking at the broken being next to him. She was trying so hard to hold it together, he could see it was difficult for her but she was doing well to keep the tears contained. She wouldn't look at him though. Inhaling deeply, he felt like a weight had been removed slowly from his chest. Finally, he felt like he could breathe again. He placed his hand on her leg warmly, the firm grip reassuring her slightly.

"You're not on your own."

 ***Well, that's it. The end of my first ever fanfic. Lol just kidding, I'm still going! I hope you all enjoyed! I wanted SO badly to leave this on a cliffhanger but I've literally drawn out this whole fic for this one moment! Finally, in chapter 20 it's happened! Thanks so much for all of your amazing reviews! I really love reading them and some you have some interesting points and ideas! Please review!***


	21. Chapter 21: Mole

***I apologise once again for the lengthy gap between this chapter and the last, I appreciate how patient you've been. I've been insanely busy these last couple weeks. So I have requests for shorter and more frequent posts, and more of Connie's past so that I shall do. Thank you to those who left reviews on the last chapter, I really appreciate it! I hope you enjoy this next chapter and once again, please, please review! :)***

Their heartfelt exchange was short-lived. Not disregarded but definitely cut short due to the fact that they now had to fix this mess they were in with Greg, or more so the mess that Connie was in with Greg. She'd fled her office near enough straight after letting Sam into her personal struggle, she needed some air and some space to think, not to mention tracking down Greg. Much to her annoyance, she knew she had to apologise to him in hope that he wouldn't make any sort of complaint about her. That was the last thing she needed. Sat outside in the cool night air, she hugged her blue coat tightly to herself, her own breath visible on the icy air as she exhaled slowly.

"You've got some strength behind that petite frame, I'll give you that." The Irish accent sang over her shoulder from behind as he approached the backless bench and took a set on it also, facing the opposite direction but sat directly beside her. He'd had some time to cool down and think about what had just happened.

"I shouldn't have-" She began but was halted instantly.

"No, you should have done it." He didn't let her get her words out, knowing what was to come. "I was way outta line and blaming the wrong person. I'm sorry." His eyes connected with hers as he whole-heartedly apologised. The mark on his cheek was still flaming pink and her hand was still tingling.

"Still, no excuse to physically hurt someone." She looked down apologetically. "I'm sorry, there's a lot going on right now and I should't have taken it out on you either."

"Both in the wrong and both forgiven, yeah?" He smiled when she nodded, a moment of silence engulfing them in the chilly air. "You okay? Y'know?" He motioned back to the hospital with his head. "About your friend? I'm sorry it ended like that." He studied her strange reaction as she folded her lips together and looked down uncomfortably.

"It's fine, we-uh, we lost contact a long time ago."

"It's never easy though, is it?" He took her refusal to respond or glance at him as a definite yes.

"About what happened, I understand if you want to take it further-"

"No chance." He smiled. "I'm not taking it anywhere, I was hysterical and needed a good slap." He laughed lightly, an undertone of sadness still present. "Anyway, I better get back in there, face Strachan and apologise I suppose."

"I think I softened him up for you." She smiled back finally looking at him.

"We're gonna be okay, aren't we? Working together?"

"Be like old times." She blinked slowly, her smile still present before they were interrupted.

"Mr Douglas?" Anna's dainty voice waved over them lightly. "Mr Strachan is looking for you."

"Right, thank you." He inhaled deeply. "Time to face the music."

He headed back inside with Anna, leaving Connie to have her moment alone outside. Truth be told he was actually a little bit worried but hopefully everything would pan out well.

"Now I know why you said to never challenge the alpha female." Anna smirked through her words as they walked through reception side by side, everyone's eyes on Greg's pink-tinged face.

"Yeah, yeah. Very funny."

"I have to say, you took it quite well. She's got a hell of a swing."

"Tell me about it!" He moved his hand up to the stinging side of his face, rubbing it softly. "Thought she'd knocked me into next week."

"I can sympathise." Sam's voice jumped between the two as he approached them from behind. "Nurse Stafford, can you give Charlie a hand in cubicles please?" He watched her nod and disappear quickly before he turned his attention back to Greg. "How's your face?" It was a concerned question but his words lacked any kind of worry or care.

"It's stinging, actually. But I think I'll survive."

"I take it you've calmed down then?"

"Yeah." He looked down sheepishly. " I've apologised to Connie and her to me, we're all clear and I'm sorry. I let my emotions get the better of me, it won't happen again." He rushed his words out embarrassedly, almost as if it was an effort to apologise but Sam could hear the regret in his voice and knew it was a genuine apology.

"Good, make sure it doesn't. I think it's best you go home, get some rest, it's been a long day."

"But Mr Holland's accompanying friend needs to be informed, and his family-" He tried to argue but was cut off.

"I'll handle all of that. I think it's for the best anyway, with what happened outside resus, don't you?" His brows rose expectantly, receiving a guilty look in return. "I'll see you tomorrow, Mr Douglas." With those final words, Greg did as he was told and headed back to the staff room like a puppy that had just been scolded.

Taking himself to the relatives room, Sam proceeded to inform Peter's friend, Graham, about the unfortunate circumstances. Needless to say, he was distraught. His best friend had essentially been murdered. They sat for a couple of minutes in the room before Graham spoke up glumly.

"Can I see him?"

"Of course, I can take you now. I have to warn you though, it might be distressing."

No other words were said as Graham was adamant on seeing his deceased friend. Heading back into resus, Louise was just finishing up with the body. He looked strangely peaceful.

"I'll leave you to it." She spoke softly before exiting the room, leaving Sam and Graham alone.

"He still kept hold of all the guilt, right up until the end. It was killin' him."

"Guilt?" Sam asked cautiously, extremely aware of the man's emotional words.

"Connie, what he did to her, it screwed him up. Followed him wherever he went. It ate him alive." He sniffed, attempting not to cry, he seemed like a hard man. Bald head, leather jacket, tattoos but he was struggling against the tears. His best friend lying lifelessly before him. "I recognised her out in reception after he'd been brought in, I knew she was working in Holby just wasn't expecting to see her, y'know? That's why Pete up here."

"Connie?" Sam became instantly involved. "What happened between them?"

"We were stupid, thoughtless kids." He defended instantly before even stating what it was that had happened. "I mean, we all make mistakes, we learn from them and move on." His voice was becoming raised. "But Pete just couldn't let go." Swiping violently at his face, quickly stopping any tears he stood up straight again after leaning on the bed railing. "You see." He started shakily. "We had a stupid bet on when we were Fifteen maybe even Sixteen. Each of us had to bed a shy girl, you know, a real goody two shoes, a virgin. None of us succeeded like, except Pete." He smiled sadly. "He pinned his bullseye to Connie and he bloody got her. The next day he paraded her underwear around school, told everyone what he'd done. She was mortified, didn't come to school for over a week. And when she finally did come back, she was like a completely different person. I don't think I ever saw her smile or speak to anyone again after that. She just sort of kept her head in books."

Sam was lost for words. He knew he shouldn't but he felt so much hatred for these men at this very moment but like Graham said, they were young, stupid kids. Everyone makes mistakes. Peter had apologised last time he was admitted, this time as well and Connie seemed to have accepted the apologies. This was her battle, not his.

"If it makes you feel any better, Connie was the last one to speak to him. He said he was sorry and she acknowledged it. She was with him the whole time."

"That's what he would have wanted." Graham nodded before turning his attention back to Peter's motionless, pale body as Sam's mind reeled with thought, no wonder Connie was the way she was with men. His expression went blank as his mind roamed back to her medical notes, Pete _definitely_ must have had something to do with her teenaged pregnancy. He wanted to approach the matter with her but there was no possible way of doing it. He'd also be raking up bad memories she obviously wanted to bury and who was he to go digging through her past, even though technically he already had.

/

The next three weeks dribbled by slowly and people were starting to notice Connie's bump. Not everyone yet, but with how hospital gossip had the ability to spread like wildfire, Sam gave it until the end of the week before that was the case. She'd been confining herself to her office more and more as of late, possibly wanting to hide for obvious reasons but Sam wasn't entirely sure. He had to give her props though; at Four Months pregnant she was concealing it very well with her wardrobe choices. Thinking to himself he approached her office swiftly and let himself in. Jumping slightly when he was greeted with something he definitely wasn't expecting.

"Nurse Stafford? What are you doing?" He'd caught her red-handed, snooping through Connie's desk drawers. Her face was a picture right now.

"Sorry, I-I was looking for a yellow pages." She stammered nervously, pulling at Sam's heartstrings a little, she looked upset.

"A yellow pages?" He asked, slightly unconvinced. She could sense he wasn't buying it but she kept Greg's notes in mind. _He's lenient with the ladies._

"My Daughter, she's not well and I need to call a taxi to get home." Playing his heart strings like finely tuned instrument, she allowed her lip to quiver for extra effect.

"And you didn't think of maybe Googling the number on your phone?" He crossed his arms slowly, not worried about creasing his suit for once as he was actually modelling some scrubs today.

"I left it at home, oh God, I'm so useless." She teared up rapidly, causing him to regret his last retort. She reminded him of Maria in a sweet, naive way.

"Here, use mine. Why don't you call a taxi and take the rest of the day off, of all things, I can at least be understanding about sick children."

"Of course." She winced regrettably, or not so. "I heard about your daughter, how is she?"

"Progressing, and that's all we can ask of her."

" _We?_ " She asked inquisitively, a roundabout way of asking if he was single. If everything she'd just said was actually true then she'd feel bad about eying him up right now but she was lying through her teeth and felt no remorse whatsoever.

"Connie and I, Grace is our daughter." How did she not know this? Her face dropped. Speak of the devil, as soon as Connie's name was uttered, she entered her office. Understandably, her eyes narrowing as soon as she lay eyes on the two of them in her private space.

"Oh, sorry." She scoffed sarcastically. "I didn't realise my office was now open all hours to anybody and everybody?" Sam rolled his eyes slightly at her hostile temper before jumping to Anna's defence.

"Nurse Stafford was just leaving." He took his phone back once she'd written down a random taxi service number. "Her daughter's not very well."

"So we're another Nurse down today?" Connie continued speaking irately; not looking at either of them as she removed her coat and smoothed her blouse wrinkles out, suddenly becoming uncomfortable under Anna's intense stare. Her eyes were fixed on her prominent yet neat little bump. Shifting awkwardly she cleared her throat and moved around Sam to get to her desk.

"We can manage, things are moving pretty slowly out there for a change." He caught her ferocious glare as she passed him and knew he was in for it once Anna was dismissed. Right on cue, her stony glare moved to Anna, who was still staring intently at the bump beneath Connie's loose-fitting blouse.

"Thank you, Nurse Stafford." She prompted the young Nurse, politely yet harshly, asking her to leave without necessarily saying so.

"Right." She gushed. "Sorry, thank you." Grabbing her purse she quickly scurried out of the room, silently thanking Sam with a smile as she passed him and closed the door behind her.

"Rough morning?" He let it be known that he thought she was in a bad mood and he was correct.

"Don't start." She shook her head and sat down behind her desk, rubbing her right temple vigorously.

"Anything I can help with?" He felt like she was shutting him out again and it had taken him so long to get her to allow him in. He didn't want to mess things up now.

"No, it's already done." She hissed. "He got off." Her abrupt sentence left him silent for a couple of seconds whilst he tried to process what exactly she was talking about.

"What?" Moving closer to her desk, he couldn't believe his ears.

"Michael, he was released last week, on the condition that he attends AA meetings weekly and participates in two hundred hours of community service." The dryness of her tone and lack of eye contact let him know she was taking it badly. "I don't want Grace coming over this weekend anymore. It's too risky."

They'd discussed the matter of Grace and her anger about the current situation at length and decided to have dinner at Connie's this weekend with Grace, hoping to explain to her in more detail about the baby. For things to be as neat as possible regarding his paternal figure it was best if everyone was under the same impression. The baby was Sam's, for it to be convincing enough, everyone had to believe it.

"Don't you think you should perhaps stay somewhere else as well?" He questioned worriedly. "He's shown up at your address twice now, what's to stop him from doing it again and causing _even more_ harm this time, Connie?"

"If he's off the drink he should be fine." Her words were quiet and sad. "But still," She continued. "I won't risk having Grace there." A sigh of frustration escaped him at her hard-headedness.

"Right, well, we'll have dinner at mine instead then." He grabbed his stethoscope from her office wardrobe, wanting so much to say more, to _do_ more but she was hard to deal with sometimes and he didn't want to suffocate her like she'd asked him not to. As long as he kept a close eye on her, that's all he could do for now. The matter was out of his control.

/

"You running away from me?" Greg appeared behind Anna as she grabbed her belongings from her locker, his arms snaking around her middle as he buried his head into her neck. A blossoming relationship was something the ED had a helping hand in. Everyone works together so closely and intensely it's hard for relationships to not transpire.

"I have to go, it's important." She turned around in his arms, kissing him sweetly between words. "It's my daughter." She lied. "I have to het home, she's unwell and the carer just called in sick."

"I didn't know you had a daughter, I was going to argue my case of being more important than anything, but I understand." He smiled, kissing her again. "Is Connie here yet? I need to speak to her." Moving away from her, he opened his own locker, grabbing a snack whilst he was there.

"Yeah." She smiled mischievously, causing him to frown.

"What? Why are you smiling like that?" He began to smile too, almost as if her small grin was infectious. He had no idea what they were smiling about but just seeing her smile made him smile. He was really falling for this girl.

"Don't say anything." She glanced around nervously. "But I swear I just saw Mrs Beauchamp sporting a small, yet very visible, baby bump." She watched his face slowly lose its bright shine, his smile fading away gradually. "I wonder who the Father is?" Her eyes were wide with wonder but he was still speechless, slightly upset if he had to be honest.

"God only knows." He growled before wincing at his own ugly words. "I didn't mean that." Shaking his head he turned to look at her now disappointed face.

"You have a thing for her, don't you?"

"What? No!" He huffed. "Look, if you must know, we had little fling a few years ago. It wasn't serious and it didn't last long." Trying to reason with her, he placed his hands on her upper arms lovingly. "I promise, I hold no flame for the Queen B, I only have eyes for you." Attempting to turn things into a joke, he soon stopped smiling upon realising she was annoyed.

"I should get going." Shrugging out of his grip, she slammed her locker door shut and brushed past him out of the staff room doorway.

"Anna! Don't be like that!" He called out to her pointlessly as she was too far-gone to hear him. Slapping his arms down helplessly he groaned at his own stupidity, had he just ruined things between them? And why was he so bothered about Connie's private matters? Deep down he knew why, but he didn't want to face those feelings just yet.

Back out in the busy hub of the ED, a buzz of excitement was rushing through reception.

"Man is it great to be back!" Jacob's voice echoed loudly, gaining the attention of Louise and Elle as they darted over to him, greeting him with a hug.

"I'm so jealous." Louise moaned and stepped back, looking him up and down. "I need a holiday."

"Less of you, more of Mr Barbados." Elle quipped, turning her attention to a grinning Jacob. "So! How was the sun, sea and sand?"

"I'm not gonna lie to you, Pancake." He smiled smugly. "It was bliss."

"You jammy git." She laughed, hitting him on the arm. "I want to see photos later, but we've got a major RTC headed our way." She started walking away from him backwards, suddenly remembering there was something else she needed to tell him. "I need to have a word with you. Meet me in the staff room in ten." She was now calling out to him as she kept on moving, just hoping that he'd take the news well.

/

"Thanks, I appreciate your help." He sounded rough, at least he was sober now though. "Have you seen her? Has she said anything?"

"Michael, I said I could find small things out for you." Anna paused, concentrating on the road for a second whilst she spoke. "But what you're asking? It's too much, I could lose my _job_." Her voice was raised, finally losing her patience. "I got caught going through her desk drawers today, and not just by anyone, but by the alpha male."

"Alpha male?" His face contorted with confusion as she shook her head in response.

"Never mind, it doesn't matter." Pulling the wheel sharply she pulled up to her house, turning the key once she parked on her driveway. "You can stay for as long as you need but _only_ if you're serious about getting help and sorting yourself out." She warned, now facing him in the passenger seat. "You're my brother, Michael and I love you, of course I do but there's only so much of this I can take."

"I know." He sighed. "I'm sorry and I _promise you_ I'm going to get better." He folded his lips together, nodding to himself. "I have to, for my baby's sake."

 ***Not too much was covered in this chapter but I was trying desperately to just get something posted for you guys! I hope it was okay, for those of you who never watched Holby, Peter Holland was a legitimate character from Connie's past. From what I can gather, he slept with Connie and then told everyone at school, embarrassing her in the process as it was only a bet. She claimed that he changed her and made her the way she is today and in a way owed him a thank you. If anyone is interested and hasn't seen it, it's S8E16 'Roots'. Please Review! The next chapter should hopefully be better, after a lengthy gap it takes me a while to get back into my rhythm lol***


	22. Chapter 22: Finally

***Thank you all so much for the reviews left on the last chapter, I hope it was okay for you all. I'm going to try and get back into regular weekly posts from now on. Enjoy and please review!***

"Jacob, please say something?" Elle pleaded, his previous post-holiday radiance now dimmed to a gloomy depressive state. They were sat at the table in the staff room, completely alone. "I shouldn't have told you so soon." She huffed an stood up quickly, moving to lean against the sink area.

"What? And let me find out the hard way? No, you did the right thing, Pancake." There was an undertone of sadness and anger in his voice. "Who's the Father?"

"I don't know, nobody knows." She exclaimed. "It hasn't even been spoken of, just a few of us have noticed her bump recently." She shrugged, her voice light with caution, not wanting to upset him. Although judging by his flared nostrils, he was already upset. "Is there a chance it could be yours?" Her question wasn't answered.

"I need to talk-"

"No!" She jumped between him and the doorway as he stood up with a purpose, obviously in pursuit of Connie. "You don't go near her until you've calmed down, yelling at each other isn't going to solve anything and we all know that yelling at Connie just leads to even more yelling." Her firm words made him listen and see sense. She was right, he needed to cool down. This was _not_ what he was expecting to return home to.

/

Her kitchen was silent. What had she gotten herself into? There was no way in hell this was going to end nicely. He looked like a homeless person sat at her kitchen table, staring at her expectantly. There was almost a pleading looking to him.

"Anna, please. I'm _begging_ you." His voice rippled through the room. "I don't know what else to do!"

"Wait a minute. So, you're telling me that Connie, your ex-wife, is now carrying your child after a drunken one-night-stand and you want _me_ to get you information on her pregnancy?" Her face was wrinkled with utter disbelief. "Do you have any idea how _mad_ that sounds, Michael?!"

"Anna, I'm desperate." He sighed. "She won't let me have anything to do with it, I have rights, it's my child too!" He raised his voice back at her, not liking how she was making him feel.

"Well, you've obviously pissed her off for her to want nothing to do with you. _Again._ " Shaking her head she pulled a seat out and sat down too, she needed to let all of this sink in. "Just promise me you haven't done anything stupid? Why were you arrested, you still haven't told me." She rested her head in her hands exhaustedly.

"Drink-driving, I crashed into a concrete bollard, okay?" Sitting back in his chair, he swallowed hard on the truth as he lied through his teeth. Technically it wasn't _really_ a lie as he had actually done that but he decided to skip the part about almost strangling his ex-wife to death and killing their unborn child in the process. He felt she didn't really need to know that part.

"Michael, what happened to you? You're a mess. I used to look up to you so much." She whispered softly, raising her head from her hands to look at him desperately.

"I don't know, I just want my life back." He made sure to look as sad as possible, attempting to pull on her heartstrings and it worked.

"Okay." She breathed her words out slowly. "You can stay and I'll keep you updated on her as best I can _within reason."_ She reaffirmed. "I'm not doing _anything_ that'll jeopardise my career." She stared at him sternly. "And you attend your AA meetings regularly otherwise you're out, okay?"

"Thank you." He gushed gratefully. "Thank you so much."

/

There was a storm brewing in Holby, set to be a record-breaker. This meant only one thing for the ED staff. It was going to be a crazy night, it was a full moon too, just to add to the craziness they were about to endure. Slowly approaching six o'clock, other wards were starting to dim down and turn sleepy for the evening but the Emergency Department was just getting started.

"So it's true then?" Louise raised her brows in Elle's direction, getting her attention.

"What's true?"

"About Mrs Beauchamp? Is she really pregnant?" Although her voice was low, Elle still stood upright and glanced around herself nervously.

"I don't know, Louise and I don't think we should be discussing it right now, or at all for that matter." Her voice was slightly robotic, making Louise's face scrunch up but she was soon to realise why.

"Nurse Tyler, care to give me a hand in resus?" Sam's voice from behind jolted her into action quickly.

"Mr Beauchamp-I mean, Strachan, sorry, yeah I can give you a hand." She was flustered, which was unlike Louise but as of late she'd been getting scolded more and more often for gossiping on the job. This was the fifth time this week.

"Great, glad to see you have talents other than that of partaking in idle hospital gossip." His sarcasm made her shudder. "We have two patients on their way in suffering from second and third degree burns, one of them is a 2-year old so I need you to prep resus for me. Their ETA is fifteen minutes."

"Right, of course." She almost too cheerfully accepted the job and speed-walked into resus, desperate to redeem herself after that final gossip check.

"She means no harm." Elle smiled from behind the computer she was using, it soon faded when she didn't receive a smile back.

"How many people know?"

"Know what?" Her crappy attempt at acting dumb was very poor, his double brow raise was enough to tell her that and caused her to slump in posture defeatedly. "Pretty much everyone." With a low voice she gave him a half smile. "Tell her we all say congratulations, we know she's hiding it. It'll have to become known sooner or later." Sam finally smiled a little at her kind words.

"Make the gossip stop, she doesn't need it right now. She'll come out with the news when she's ready." He smiled at her, a way of saying _thank you_ without actually saying it.

/

Hiding in cubicles probably wasn't the most professional thing to do but _technically_ Charlie had requested her help, she was just taking her time in there as she felt comfortable with Charlie. She didn't need to hide her midsection from him. They'd both apologised to one another and brushed their little tiff from a couple of weeks ago under the rug.

"I'll take him up to X-Ray." Connie offered, sanitising her hands as she looked over Charlie's tired face. "You go have a break, you've been on your feet all day."

"Are you sure?" He asked sweetly, backing away when she gave him a stern glare.

"Charlie, go and take a break."

"Alright, I'm not gonna argue with that order." He smiled. "Thank you." Disappearing through the privacy curtain, he left Connie with her 17-year old dirt bike accident patient.

"You're lucky you didn't sustain more serious injuries, Elliot." She spoke calmly yet sternly as she pulled the bed railing back up, getting ready to accompany him to X-Ray. They were just waiting on the porter.

"More like _unlucky._ " He muttered miserably, avoiding her gaze.

"You could have been seriously hurt, yet you escaped with some minor grazes and a possible wrist fracture." She exclaimed. "I'd say that's incredibly lucky."

"You don't understand." He hissed, slouching down into the bed and facing the opposite direction. If this is the type of moody behaviour she was to experience with her son in his teens, she was glad it was _years_ away.

"We called your Mum, we still can't get hold of her. Are you _sure_ there's nobody else we can call for you?" She craned her neck, wanting him to look at her but he refused.

"Nah, man. I don't need anybody."

"Okay, suit yourself." Picking her stethoscope up off of the side table she placed it back around her neck and headed for the small opening in the curtain.

"Wait!" His panicked voiced halted her, making her turn back around to face him. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. Will you come with me, y'know when they look at my arm?" The pure worry in his face made her heart tighten.

"I was only going to find a porter." She smiled, causing him to do so embarrassedly.

"Yeah, right, I knew that. You go get that porter, boss lady." Shrugging it of playfully he remained smiling.

"Boss lady?" Jacob's voice made her jump out of her skin as he appeared behind her. "I like that, it suits you." There was a cold element to his voice as she quickly crossed her arms over herself, becoming a mess all of a sudden. Even the 17-year old patient noticed it, so Jacob definitely would have noticed it.

"Jacob." Her voice was high. "You're back already?" Her gaze found it's way to his face, he looked bothered to say the least.

"Yeah, heard the ED was buckling without me." He forced a fake smile at her equally as fake and exaggerated laugh.

"Of course, we were lost without you." The patient's eyes flicked between the two of them as though he was watching a very confusing puppet show.

"Is he the porter?" His innocent question made Connie smile genuinely and Jacob do the opposite, faking offence at his words.

" _Porter?_ No, son, I'm a Nurse. Charlie sent me down, I'll be taking you up to X-Ray-"

"No, no, no!" He interrupted. "Mrs Beauchamp is taking me, ain't that right?" He glanced at her with a panicked look on his face, causing Connie to turn serious again.

"It's okay, I can go with you. If that's what you'd prefer?" She moved back to the side of his bed again. Jacob's eyes were fixed on her every insignificant movement. The way she leant over the bed railing, the way her eyebrows raised worriedly for this young boy. Then he finally saw it. Her small bump, outlined to him for the first time as her hand smoothed over it unconsciously, drawing more attention to it's obvious existence under her loose-fitting polka-dot blouse. He felt his throat dry up instantly, a ringing in his ears blocked out any sound within five feet of him. He was frozen.

"Staff Nurse Masters." She uttered it assertively for a third time, finally snapping him out of his trance. His eyes settled coldly on her face, causing her brows to furrow for a millisecond. "I said I can handle this one, they'll probably need you in resus."

"Yeah, course." He retorted emotionlessly. "I get it, you must feeling maternal given your current situation." He turned and left moodily before she even had chance to comprehend what he'd just said.

"What did he mean by that?" The teenaged boy asked inquisitively, dragging her attention back to him.

"Hm? Nothing, he was just joking." She smiled briefly, extremely bothered by Jacob's comment and the fact that not only he but everybody else must know about her current condition now. She felt exposed and vulnerable, and she _hated_ herself for even thinking it let alone feeling it but she needed Sam around her right now.

The porter finally showed up, joining Connie and Elliot up to X-Ray. She could tell he was scared, she'd given him the _no more dirt biking if your wrist is fractured, you need time to heal_ lecture. She didn't know why but he was cut up about it, even just a couple of months away from his hobby and he was acting as though it was the end of the world. Once they entered the lift, a suited figure darted towards the closing doors, managing to stop them so he could enter.

"Sam?" She questioned. "I thought you were tied up in resus?"

"Dylan and Elle have it covered, I'm headed upstairs to read the riot act to the head of the burns unit." There was a hint of fury in his words as Connie's face relaxed sadly.

"How is it in there?"

"About as bad as you could expect." He sighed, not wanting to discuss patients in front of another patient. "The child came out of it the worst, head of burns is refusing her a bed." He followed her actions in grimacing sadly. That was the hardest part of this job, seeing innocent children suffering and not being able to reverse the damage. They were silent for a couple of seconds, the humming of the lift moving upwards being the only sound in their ears until Connie inhaled deeply but quietly. Her hand moving instantly to her abdomen as Sam's eyes widened.

"You okay?" Taking a step closer to her, he was prepared for something awful to be happening.

"Fine." She cleared her throat and pulled her hand away quickly. "Just a movement, it's been happening all day." Her eyes flickered to the porter, who thankfully was completely uninterested and playing on his phone.

"It's a full moon." He smiled, trying to hide how desperate he was to feel the baby kicking. Now was not the time nor the place. Plus, he wasn't even sure that was something Connie would allow him to do. He still wasn't one hundred percent sure on where he stood in terms of closeness with her, would it be too foward of him to ask? The opening of the doors shook him from his thoughts and questions, inviting him to exit the lift. "I'll catch up with you later."

She nodded, smiling once the doors were closed and he could no longer see her. She could read him like a book, he was like a kid in a toy store every time he saw her bump now that he knew he was involved. She tried to play it cool but secretly it warmed her heart knowing he was there and wanting to be hands on already.

"What are you smiling at?" Elliot glanced up at her, intrigued.

"Never you mind." Her attention was refocused on this lonely teenager in her care, slowly her face relaxed again. "Where is your Mother, Elliot? I've tried contacting her four times now, and your grandmother."

"They don't care about me." He scoffed, his mood suddenly dropping again. "They'd probably prefer it if I'd died."

"Hey." She warned, staring down at the side of his face. "Don't say that, I'm sure they're worried sick about you." She continued to study his profile as they exited the lifted and headed to X-Ray, the porter leaving them once they were waiting to enter.

"Do you think dirt-biking is cool?" His random question threw her off.

"Cool?"

"Yeah, like, do you think it's a cool thing to do?" He stared at her expectantly, watching her face as she processed his question.

"Well, it's certainly dangerous. I don't know about cool." She smiled. "But I'm an adult, what would I know about cool, right?"

"Nah." He shook his head with a grin. "I reckon you're alright for an adult."

"What's this about, Elliot?" She could see right through his screen of questions, his behaviour and this front he was putting on. He reminded her of herself. There was silence as he contemplated his next words, clearing his throat softly before finally answering her.

"I get teased, at school, and I thought dirt-biking would make me more interesting."

"And did it?"

"No." He sighed glumly. "Just made me look like a right idiot and in front of _everyone_ too." He winced with regret, suddenly recalling that everyone had witnessed the accident.

"I was teased at school too."

"You were?" He asked disbelievingly.

"Absolutely. And I did what you did." She leant on his bed railing again. "I tried to be someone I wasn't and got hurt in the process." Her eyes studied the sad realisation as it stained his face. "I was never the same again but you know what?"

"What?"

"It made me who I am today, it got me here." She smiled encouragingly. "It just depends how you choose to deal with it, Elliot." He nodded slowly, agreeing with her words.

"Thanks, Mrs Beauchamp. I owe you an apology too." He grimaced guiltily. "I gave you a fake numbers for my Grandma and my Mum, she doesn't know about the dirt-biking."

"Well, perhaps after your X-Ray you can give me the correct number and you can explain to her what you just did to me?" He nodded, holding his wrist gingerly as the radiographer let them know he was ready for them now.

"I'll be okay on my own, it's how I'm choosing to deal with it." He smiled gratefully once again as he disappeared into the room. It was like a ghost town up here, the corridor was absolutely deserted, or so she thought.

"I didn't know you were teased at school." Sam spoke from behind her, startling her immediately. "Sorry, I didn't want to interrupt before. Didn't mean to scare you." As if the dark corridor and night sky beyond the large glass windows, dim lighting and a raging thunderstorm outside weren't already creepy enough.

"I wasn't teased." She lied, having recovered from her small fright. "I just had to say something to make him see sense, that's all." Her heart quickened, wondering how much of her story he'd heard. All of it, she was guessing.

"Well it was very convincing." He laughed as best he could knowing she was lying to him. When would she feel like it was okay to open up to him? Before his thoughts could develop she exhaled heavily, experiencing another movement. "Wow, somebody's feeling active today." His eyes glistened as he spoke. The amazement extremely obvious in his lit up features.

"It's worse in the evenings, I don't know why." She shrugged uncomfortably, not knowing what to say. Her hand had automatically placed itself where the movement had happened, soothing it protectively.

"Can I?" He bit the bullet, reaching his hand out a fraction to indicate what he meant but she already knew.

Slowly taking his hand, she pressed it down firmly where she'd previously felt him move. His eyes were alight, his focus completely on their hands and oblivious to her own eyes studying his face. It happened again, the change in his expression let her know that he'd felt it too.

"Oh my god." He breathed with wonder, an amazed smile taking over his mouth as he finally glanced at her.

The space around them seemed to slow in movement. Between his hand on her stomach and her hand in his, their intense eye contact was the final piece in their puzzle of intimacy. He moved slowly, wanting to be sure he was reading the signals correctly, for this she was extremely grateful. He was considerate of her boundaries and respected her. Not receiving any sort of dismissal, he moved in on her. His free hand sliding up her back as he kissed her deeply, their breaths deepening simultaneously as the kiss intensified. Her hand was no longer holding his in place, it travelled up to the side of his face, her other hand mirroring it whilst she melted into his grip. He manoeuvred their bodies across the corridor, gently leaning her up against the wall. Her body moved up against his with want. Nothing other than a want for security, to feel safe. He closed the already small gap between them, moving even closer to her. His left hand sliding down to her hip as the right one moved up to the side of her face. Their tongues still caressing one another's passionately before the sound of a door opening quickly ended their passionate embrace. They moved away from each other faster than their brains could properly connect with what the noise was. Wiping at her lips in a fluster she tried to catch her breath, not fully believing what just happened. She glanced at him sheepishly, he looked as equally as shocked.

"Mrs Beauchamp, you're still here." Elliot's chirpy voice diffused the sensual tension in the corridor. "Thanks for waiting."

"Uh, yeah." She spoke breathily. "No problem." Clearing her throat she quickly moved to his beside again. "How'd it go?"

"Great." He beamed. "No fracture!" They moved off down the corridor, Connie glancing back at Sam with a soothing smile. One which he returned as he watched them disappear around the corner, a feeling of content washing over him. _This_ is what he wanted.

 ***Thanks once again to all of those who continue to read and review, I appreciate it soooooo much! I really hope this chapter was okay, I promise some juicy stuff is coming! Please review!***


	23. Chapter 23: Dancing with the Devil

***Thank you all once again for all the lovely reviews! Hope everyone is still enjoying! And I hope this chapter is enjoyable! Please review!***

"How's your daughter doing?" Sam asked thoughtfully as he stood scanning through some files at the Nurse's Station. Anna looked baffled to say the least but her memomry quickly came back to her. The awful lie she'd told him and Connie the other day.

"Oh yeah, she's fine, just had an off day that's all."

"Good." He smiled. "What's wrong with her, if you don't mind me asking?" His face was serious.

"Cystic fibrosis." It happened again, another lie escaped her mouth before she could even think straight. Her expression must have looked worried because his face relaxed slightly with deep concern.

"I'm sorry to hear that. If you ever need any time off, for any reason, just say the word. I know how hard it can be." He folded his lips together, smiling with accomplishment when she nodded shyly back as a way of thanking him.

"It must be so hard for you both, dealing with sick people all the time and then having a child in the same situation." Making sure to keep her tone and expression sad, she began her prying session. "I mean, Mrs Beauchamp must find it really tough too, going home from a workplace full of ill people and then having to see her own daughter going through the same struggle."

"Actually Grace lives with me, I'm the one who has to deal with it at the moment." He could tell his response shocked her but he didn't want to say too much in fear of angering Connie. It had been Four days since their passionate hallway embrace and they'd just been carrying on as of nothing had happened, much to his annoyance. "You should know, with your daughter I mean." He glanced down at her in between his words. "Cystic Fibrosis can be pretty nasty-"

"Excuse me, Mr Strachan." The angry Irish accent halted their conversation immediately, Sam saw Anna roll her eyes and clicked on immediately. "Can I borrow Nurse Stafford for a couple minutes?"

"Sorry, I'll let you get back to work." He smiled kindly, feeling as though they were about to have a domestic as she followed Greg into the staff room.

/

Shutting the door behind himself angrily, Greg turned to look at a slightly unimpressed Anna. She looked exhausted and almost as if she wanted to hit him but in all honesty, he felt like he should be the one feeling angry right now.

"What the hell, Anna?" He finally spoke, raising his hands and dropping them quickly, emphasising his obvious confusion. "I've been calling you non-stop for four days! Why haven't you been answering my calls?" Moving over to her, he tried to assess her facial expression but she wasn't giving anything away.

"I needed some time to think, sorry." Her words were quiet as she leant against the sink counter sadly, honestly she really did have feelings for him but at the same time she knew she was going to have to use him to get information for Michael.

"Time to think about what? I _swear_ to you there is _nothing_ between Connie and I." Hearing his pleading words she felt pangs of guilt rippling through her whole body but continued with her charade regardless of his feelings.

"It's fine, Greg." She shrugged emotionlessly. "I'm not stopping you from pursuing her. After all, me and you, this is just a bit of fun, yeah?" The words she'd just uttered so clearly pierced his heart and ego but she had to do this for Michael. After all the help he'd offered her over the years, this is the least she could do. At the same time it kind of weirded her out knowing that Connie was pregnant with her brother's child and technically carrying her niece.

"What? No!" He exclaimed in a panicked fashion, moving closer to her. "There is _nothing_ there, we had a short fling a few years ago but that's all it ever was!" He glanced behind himself, checking the door was definitely closed. "And besides, I heard it through the grapevine that Sam Strachan's the Father." She couldn't fake happy at his last whispered comment. Her whole world felt like it shook with this new revelation.

"What?" Her mouth was dry. "Who told you that? They're not even together."

"Just one of the guys from X-Ray upstairs." He frowned with confusion. "Said he saw them in a _passionate embrace_ in a darkened corridor a couple days ago, why is that so important to know?" He took a step back from her, knitting together a completely fabricated story in his head. "Ah, you've got eyes for Strachan." The disappointment was written all over his face and coated his words.

"What? Greg no-"

"Don't bother, I've seen the way you look at him, how you speak to him. You're like a puppy with a toilet roll." He ripped his stethoscope from the table top, returning it to sit around his neck. "You're right, this was just a bit of fun." His voice was cold all of a sudden. "But neither of us are having fun anymore, so let's call it quits, yeah?" Not giving her chance to answer he stormed out of the room, leaving her alone with her tears. What had she done.

/

"Here, I can do that." Sam jumped in between Connie and Louise to move the heavy scanning equipment around the patient's bed, receiving an eye-roll from Connie and some strange stares from the rest of the staff in resus. He was being far too obvious for her liking and he was about to find out the hard way.

"I've got it, thanks." She moved back into place and resumed what she was doing, leaving him to stand still like a spare part. Charlie gave him a sympathetic glance before getting back to his own duties.

"Mrs Beauchamp, can I have a word outside?" Trying again, he was shut down. Again.

"Not now." She spoke nonchalantly, not even looking up from the notes she was scanning through. It was Elliot, the same patient she'd treated a few days ago. And the same patient she was caring for when she and Sam had a heated tryst in a dimly lit corridor. Huffing loudly so that everyone could hear, he shook his head and left the room in a temper. She glanced up briefly after he had gone, feeling bad about the was she was acting but honestly she couldn't help it. That sounded ridiculous but it was almost as if it was built in to her to behave this way towards people who genuinely seemed to care for her in more than a friendly way. She'd done it to Jacob and countless other men and now she was doing it to Sam.

"Mrs Beauchamp?" The teen boy began to stir on the bed, he'd been unconscious since being admitted, the pain had caused him to pass out.

"Hey, you." She cooed sweetly. "What are you doing to us?" She asked with a slight smile, trying to raise his spirits but it was no use.

"I want my mum." His words were only just audible beneath the oxygen mask.

"I know you do, we've called her and she said she's on her way, okay? Just hang tight for me." She whispered the latter of her sentence, squeezing his hand sweetly when he nodded. Looking back at Louise across the bed, she handed her his notes and spoke quietly. "Keep me updated, I want half-hourly obs reporting back to me." Louise nodded obediently, allowing Connie to escape the room quickly. An awful rush of morning sickness had overcome her again, she hadn't experienced the horrendous feeling for a couple of weeks and had decided now to her hit her at the most inconvenient time. Nothing was coming up though, it was just a wave of nausea. Still washing her hands regardless, she glanced at her appearance in the mirror. She looked exhausted. She hadn't uttered a word to Sam but she'd been skipping out on a lot of sleep over the last week or so, fearing Michael would pop up at any moment. It was destroying her, not only in the sense that she was fearing for her unborn baby's life as well as her own, but that she was allowing this pig of a man to take control of her life like this.

"I need to talk to you." He pounced on her as soon as she exited the Female toilets, making her jump.

"Sam, I'm really busy-"

"It'll take five minutes." He stopped walking and opened the relatives room door, standing expectantly at it's entrance. "Please." With a deep exhalation and small flicker of what looked like a definite eye-roll, she obliged. He closed the door gently behind himself.

"This had better be impor-" She couldn't even finish the sentence in her brain let alone speak the words, he locked the door quickly before his lips came crashing down on hers with pure want.

At first she was angry and wanted to fight him off, but there was something about the way he handled her, it didn't feel unwanted. She didn't mind, in fact she only realised upon it actually happening that it's what she wanted too. The privacy of the small, cosy room seemed to help reinforce those feelings. She moaned unintentionally as the kiss grew deeper, melting into his grip. His hands, which were previously resting on her hips smoothed down over her behind firmly as her own hands pulled desperately at his tucked in shirt. She tugged at the expensive fabric with a slight urgency, craving some skin contact with him. Finally freeing the bottom of his shirt from his tailored pants, she brushed her hands up against his abdomen, rubbing up to his chest and dragging a moan from him too. All the while, the kiss was still going strong, still urgent, still passionate. He moved his hands back to her hips, guiding her backwards to the flat of the wall behind her, mimicking her actions he pulled at her black shirt as well. It was a fraction easier for him as hers was only loosely tucked in, in order to try and conceal her bump. Part of this felt so wrong given the circumstance of being pregnant but at the same time her hormones were all over the place and she couldn't deny she'd been feeling extremely strongly for this type of interaction with him as of late. Manoeuvring her hands up his sides, they travelled to his lower back before moving away from his warm skin as she came back to his front and began undoing his buttons, inviting hime to imitate and do the same to her. He helped her slightly, ignoring her buttons for split second whilst shrugging his shoulders loose of his white crisp shirt and shaking the sleeves from his arms, allowing the material to simply slide down on to the floor before he turned his focus back to undoing her top. Obviously growing impatient with the time it was taking, she surprised him as he met her hands at the buttons, undoing them herself in a hurried manner. The kiss intensifying yet again when he felt her skin on his, her lace bra-covered chest heaving against his lower rib cage as he pressed himself further up to her, trapping her securely between himself and the wall. Once her shirt was removed, he felt her gasp into the kiss as the coolness of the wall hit her back and shocked her body, an array of goosebumps travelling over her skin. An animal urge taking over him, he cautiously pulled her away from the wall, guiding her towards the long side table just to the side of them. In one swift movement, she was sat up on the table, her back once again pushed up against the cool wallpaper, drawing another gasp from her lips. They both broke away from the lustful kiss at the same time as he parted her still clothed legs and settled himself between them, enabling himself to get closer to her. It was almost as if he'd also stopped to double check she was okay with where this was obviously headed. She never spoke a word, but instead returned her hands to his belt. Their breathing was dramatic, both from the lengthy kiss they'd just endured and the amount of sexual arousal they were experiencing at this very moment in time.

That was a good enough signal for him.

/

Having not seen either of them in a while, Anna took this opportunity to head back into Connie's office. Sam was an absolute menace for leaving it unlocked. Praise him. She shut the door quietly behind her, not wanting to draw attention to the room as she rifled through every single drawer and cupboard she could find. Nothing. Propping her hands on her hips she huffed frustratedly, her eyes scanning the room until they finally settled on a filing cabinet. Bingo. Rushing over to it she pulled the key from it's hook and unlocked each and every drawer until she landed on the last one, only full of personal things as opposed to work related things. She flicked through the layered sheets in a frenzy, this drawer wasn't full of files or organised paperwork, it contained documents relating to Grace, Connie and other random things such as GP appointments, school trip forms and other stuff. She knew it, not every drawer in this woman's office could be so neatly organised. Everyone has a drawer in their house or office that is purely dedicated to being a mess. Smiling to herself she halted quickly upon seeing a flicker of grey. Going back she settled on an appointment letter for an ultrasound, it was scheduled for next Friday. Finally she had something to give to her wallowing brother. Her smiled faded a fraction when she lifted up the paper to reveal a scanning image of the baby. Her heart ached. Quickly pulling herself out of her feelings, she shuffled everything back to how it was and closed the drawer, escaping without a trace of her ever being present.

"What were you doing in there?" Greg startled her. His voice held no enthusiasm towards her anymore. He was making that absolutely clear.

"Nothing, I was looking for Mrs Beauchamp. She's uh, needed in resus." She lied expertly, catching Louise's attention.

"How did you know that? I'm looking for her too but I don't remember askin' you." There was an element of disbelief in her voice, a few of the other staff members, including Louise, had been talking about how odd they found this new nurse to be.

"I overheard you before, that's why I started looking too." Her lie fought the hostile nurse off immediately.

"Okay." She looked her up and down suspiciously. "Well, if you find her send her my way and tell her it's Elliot, he's deteriorating."

"Of course." The chirpy response made Louise cringe disgustedly as she walked off, allowing Anna to exhale with relief. "Greg, please-"

"I'm very busy, Nurse Stafford. Can't it wait?" He began walking away, only stopping when he felt her hand grip on to his from behind.

"I really like you, please don't let me have messed this up before it's even started?" Her gentle plea tugged at his heartstrings immediately, making him turn to face her. "Let's start again." She begged. "I'll even re-introduce myself if that's what it takes. Pretend we've never even met."

"Don't." His harsh words were soon softened by a small smile after what felt like an eternity of waiting. "That was absolute agony, I don't want to have to teach you the ropes all over again." He paused, as if contemplating his decision, letting her squirm with anticipation. "You can buy me a drink tonight and actually answer my calls in future, that'll be enough for me." Finally putting her out of her misery, she beamed up at him.

"I'll see you at the pub." Giving him a grateful smile she dashed off, this time actually looking for Connie.

/

After finally being located, Connie rushed straight to resus upon hearing the latest development with Elliot. The double doors flew open as she entered, Charlie's attention jumping straight to her and her loud entrance.

"Have you checked inside his mouth?" She spoke with meaning, her eyes were on only Elliot as he lay sweating and lethargic on the bed. He was completely delirious.

"I checked just before you got here, it's a confirmed case of the measles." Charlie went to speak again but she started barking orders at Louise and Anna.

"Call his Mother again, hopefully she'll actually show up this time." The tone of her voice was of absolute seriousness. "Get some fluids in him, he's probably dehydrated as well."

"Connie, you shouldn't be in here, it's a big risk to take." Charlie attempted to reason with her, everyone glancing at her for an inevitably icy response but he managed to get another concerned question in before she could speak up. "You look a bit flushed, are you feeling okay?" Her cheeks were blushed, a post-sex colour of rosy pink.

"I'm immunised against the virus Charlie, and I'm no more at risk than anybody else in here-" Her aggravated words were silenced by his stern voice.

"Oh come off it, Connie. _Everybody_ knows, it's pretty damn obvious now." He spoke lowly, motioning to her bump gently and not one person batted an eyelid, not even so much as a gasp. "Now, get out of here before I really lose my temper. There's no chance we're risking you being infected."

She knew he was right, but still, being ordered out of _her own_ resus was not something she felt pleased about at all. Exiting the room in the same manner she'd entered, she stormed out to the nurses station, listening in on Anna's phone call with Elliot's mum. A passing Sam caught her attention, she could feel herself shifting under his gaze before something caught her eye.

"Buttons." The word was slightly coughed out of her mouth, making him stare at her confusedly. She repeated, more slowly this time and motioned to her own shirt to try and get her point across. "Your buttons." He glanced down, realising he'd missed a button on his shirt and had redone them all wrong.

"Thanks, I was little hot earlier, had to remove a layer." He tried to contain a smile, Duffy glancing between them awkwardly before Anna interrupted.

"Mrs Beauchamp, Elliot's mum said she's on her way-"

"She's been on her way for over an hour, where the hell does she live? Scotland?" She growled, becoming irritated at this woman's lack of care for her son.

"No, she just said it's been hard-"

"I don't want to hear it." She held her hand up to the nurse, causing Anna to open her mouth again but not before Greg could stop her. Whizzing past her into the nurses station he mumbled in her ear discreetly.

"Alpha female, don't engage, just walk away." He caught her smiling when he looked back, Connie and Sam were completely oblivious to their exchange of words. "You alright, Queen B? His brow furrowed with genuine worry after looking over her face. "You look a little hot?" He tried to choose his words carefully but failed. Having drawn attention to her flushed look, Sam followed everyone's lead and glanced down at her too. Greg was true in saying so, she looked clammy and flushed.

"He's right, you don't look so great."

"I'm fine, just a little warm." Becoming harassed she grabbed Elliot's notes and began flicking through them again, she didn't know if it was because it had been pointed out to her but she was feeling a little hot and uncomfortable.

"Could it be something to do with the baby?" Anna's question silenced all three of them, Sam and Greg weren't sure where to look between the two women. Crickets singing in the background.

"Anna." Greg finally scolded, giving her an angry look, but he didn't need to fight Connie's battles for her and she was about to prove that.

"That is _none_ of your business, Nurse Stafford." Her words were sharp and venomous. "And if you _ever_ bring this up in public like that again, I'll have you out of here faster than you can possibly imagine." She may have been overreacting but she already felt an intense amount of protectiveness for this baby and she definitely didn't need or want any unwarranted concern from strangers.

"Alright, come on." Sam placed a hand on her shoulder, trying to steer her away from the frightened looking nurse. To his surprise, she didn't pull away, instead she obeyed and headed towards her office without another word. Sam glanced at Anna with a look on his face that screamed _nice move,_ as he followed in Connie's direction.

"What the _hell_ did you say that for?" Greg hissed.

"What? I thought everyone knew! I mean, it's obvious! She's about four months gone!"

"Have I taught you _nothing_ of the alphas? You've just made your time here about five times harder. She won't forget that y'know? She'll hold it against you for as long as she can." His Irish twang made everything sound so poetic. Even the worst of news.

"I don't think she's _that_ petty." She smiled anxiously, trying to shake him off but he looked deathly serious.

"You don't know her, you'll soon find out."

/

Elliot's Mother finally made an appearance, before Connie even had chance to rip into her she felt a deep sense of regret course through her body. Turns out she had early onset alzheimer's and had gotten herself stuck in a loop of not remembering where she was going. Luckily somebody had heard her mention the hospital and brought her here themselves. Elliot, thankfully had been stabilised too and was being treated for measles. Connie didn't get to see him again as she was under strict instructions not to go anywhere near the area in her pregnant state.

"So, dinner tonight with Grace is still good to go?" Sam inquired calmly at the nurses station, not sure of she was acting weird with him after their union in the relatives room. He turned to face her, his eyes scanning her face as he tried to read expression but she merely nodded in response. "If you're not feeling well we can reschedule-"

"No." She butted in quickly, she just wanted all of this sorting out sooner rather than later and to be honest it'd make a change from sitting in her own house fretting that Michael was lurking around outside in the shadows. "Tonight's fine, I'll just come straight from work." She gave him a weak smile and nod before making her way back into her office. She'd surprised herself today. What happened with Sam, it wasn't expected at all but it wasn't regretted either. She thought she'd never get past that traumatic experience and feel what she felt today but it was different with Sam.

He was left pondering about her welfare now, she seemed a little distracted, perhaps he'd made a move too soon? He let his mind wander and race with thoughts, his brows obviously moving as he asked himself questions in his head.

"Don't work that brain of yours too hard, you might blow a fuse." The smirk accompanying the Irish accent summoned a dry smile from Sam. "I hear congrats are in order, no?"

"What?"

"Baby Beauchamp, it's yours, isn't it?" Greg smiled, he was being genuine at least but still, Connie would explode if she knew people were talking about the identity of the Father so freely. She didn't want _anything_ coming out until Grace was told first.

"I think it's best we don't speak of this, especially not here and especially not considering my role in this hospital." Pulling rank, he shut him down quickly, folding the file in his hands before disappearing. His mind still chugging along at a mile a minute.

/

After her faux pas with Connie, Anna couldn't wait for her shift to end. She felt like things were just spiralling downwards. She had yet to impress anyone at work and probably wouldn't get the chance to now with what she did today and to top it off, her brother was probably going to get her buried up to her neck in his personal issues with Connie. Unlocking her front door, she fumbled with the keys in the dark momentarily before finally managing to get inside. To her amazement, the house was warm, the fire lit and was that something cooking that she could smell? Heading through to her kitchen cautiously, she peered through the doorway only to spot Michael pulling what looked like a casserole out of the oven.

"Ah." He spoke gleefully. "Just in time!" Placing the casserole on a heat-proof mat in the centre of the table, he handed her a glass of red after she'd put her bag down.

"Michael, what's all of this?" Her eyes flickered over the table top in amazement.

"Just a little something, a way of saying thank you really. Please." He jumped forward and pulled her chair out. "Sit down, eat!" Following his orders she settled on one of her chairs, her gaze fixed on him as he copied her actions. This was going to crush him. He obviously felt like he had something to live for now and she was about to snatch it away from him. "So, did you find anything out for me?" He wasted no time at all, he just wanted to know anything and everything.

"Well." She finished chewing before completing her sentence. "I found out her daughter-"

"Grace?" He interrupted eagerly.

"Yeah, she doesn't live with her. She lives with her Father, Sam." She studied his expression intently.

"And the baby? Did she say anything about the baby?"

"Michael, she's not exactly my friend. It's not like I can sit down and have a catch up with her, you know?" She could feel her frustration rising. "She's my _boss_ and she's bloody scary!"

"Nah." He breathed. "She's a pussy cat really, it's all a facade." Speaking surely of his own words, he continued to eat his tea as though what was going on was a normal situation.

"No, trust m-"

"No." He interjected firmly. "Trust _me._ " Ceasing his chewing, he looked her dead in the eye. "Anna, I married the woman. I know her inside and out. I know her darkest secrets, I know about her past. Not many people have that privilege with Connie, she's very cagey." Anna listened to her brother's words carefully, a lightbulb suddenly shining bright in her skull.

"If I'm doing all of this snooping for you, Michael, I need you to do something for me in return."

/

Sam's dining room was deathly silent. Grace was refusing to speak at all, even to Sam but that was hardly surprising given the fact that she'd just been told that her parents who weren't even a couple to her knowledge, and never had been, were now actually expecting a baby. _Together._

"Gracie." He begged. "Please say something?" Connie's eyes darted from Sam's concerned features to their daughter's fury filled face. This wasn't going well at all. Matters seemed one hundred times worse to Connie due to the heat in Sam's house. It felt more like a sauna. Pulling at the v-neck of her blouse she fanned her face and neck briefly with her spare hand before speaking.

"Grace, this wasn't something we planned." She exclaimed, now guessing it was her turn to try and win the trouble young girl over. "It just happened, we can't change that." Sam's heart ached for Connie, he could see and feel the pain on her face as she uttered that sentence knowing full well what really happened and how much both she and he would do anything to turn back time and take back the sick act that was carried out on her.

"Liar." Grace finally spoke, although it wasn't such a positive statement. "Of course you planned this, you did it on purpose."

"Hey!" Sam intervened, his anger getting the better of him. "Don't speak to your Mother like that." The look on his face told her he meant business, causing her to back down slightly. "We understand that you're angry, but what we don't understand is why?" He softened his voice, noticing she didn't look quite as hostile anymore.

"It's just another thing to compete with, isn't it?" Her lip quivered as she shot Connie a very brief but sad glance before looking back at Sam. "I already have to fight for both of your attention because you're so busy with work all the time and now there's going to be a _baby_ as well? Where do I fit in to that?" She sniffled, the tears finally overcoming her. She was just like Connie for that, hiding her pain and sadness behind a wall of anger and fury.

"Gracie." Connie cooed, reaching across the table to her. A wave of relief washing over her when the young girl didn't pull away. "You will _always_ be number one, to me and your Dad." She looked at Sam to make sure he was agreeing.

"I'm not even number one right now, it's still your job. It always will be, even with a baby around." Connie licked her upper lip, blinking slowly with dejection. This was going nowhere and she honestly felt like she was drunk, her head was spinning.

"I can't." She whispered, looking at Sam sleepily for support. "I can't do this right now." Shaking her head lightly she stood up, wobbling to her feet. Sam didn't think twice as he jumped up to steady her whilst she swayed for a second. She felt like she was on fire.

"Woah, woah, woah." He managed to stabilise her on her feet, his whole focus on her now instead. "Let's sit you back down, yeah?" She tried to argue but it was too much effort and she was knackered. Sitting her back down sideways on her chair, he crouched down in front of her. He could feel the heat radiating off of her. Her face still flushed and now shining with a very thin layer of sweat coating her skin. Grace couldn't help but lean forward uneasily.

"What's wrong with her?" She tried to mask her concern but Sam could hear the worry in her shaky words. He couldn't answer her just yet, he was too focussed on dealing with her Mother, who was now becoming lethargic in his gentle grip.

"Connie?" He gave her a gentle shake, her breaths were now extremely laboured. "Connie, can you hear me?" He shook her again, this time more urgently to match his panicked tone of voice. Her lids were heavy and her eyes rolled back in her head as she became completely limp in his arms.

 ***Thanks so much for reading and once again being patient! I LOVE reading your reviews so much, thank you! I really hope this chapter was okay for you all! I was extremely worried people might think I copied the measles case from the episode last, last week but I swear to GOD I've been planning this scenario since chapter 6! When they had that measles patient from the bus crash I almost screamed! :'( Please, please review!***


	24. Chapter 24: Turnaround

***Thank you all once again for the reviews and feedback, I'm always so grateful to hear what you think! I really hope you enjoy this next chapter, please review!***

"Okay, let's get some of these layers off." Sam mumbled to himself in a fluster, having lay Connie down on the floor he could still feel the heat radiating from her body. She'd remained in her coat, an attempt at concealing her bump even though the majority of people knew now.

"Shouldn't we call an ambulance?" Grace was hovering over her Father's shoulder, now actually voicing her worries. She'd never seen her Mother like this before.

"It's alright." He reassured. "l call one now." Moving her around gently he managed to get her coat off and lay her on her side. The cool floor was probably helping her body temperature to cool down. "I need you to do me a favour, Gracie." He looked up at her, she was nodding eagerly. "Get me a couple of cool, wet cloths from the kitchen. We need to try and cool her down." She disappeared instantly as sam dialled for an ambulance, she felt guilty about how she'd been treating her Mum recently and now this had happened. Rushing back to him, she handed over the cloths.

"What are they for?" Her words were coated with worry.

"Her pulse points, if we try and keep them cold we should be able to cool her down a bit before the ambulance gets here." Carrying out the task as he spoke, he found it calmed him down to explain what he was doing as he did it. Almost like a technique to reaffirm his actions and decisions. Having Grace leaning in on the task gave him a good distraction and kept him thinking in a level-headed manner.

"But why is she so hot? Is it the baby?"

"Honestly, Gracie, I don't know." He tried to flash her a reassuring smile briefly as he placed one of the cloths on her neck. "We'll know more once we get to the hospital." He sat up straight, pulling his phone out again. Finding Charlie's contact name, he pressed ring and held it to his ear. "Come on, Charlie. Pick up." He was only waiting a few seconds before the older man finally answered.

"Sam, how can I help?" Sam could feel him smiling cheerfully down the phone.

"Charlie, we're going to be on our way in with Connie soon." He spoke urgently, not giving Charlie a chance to talk. He kept looking over her as he spoke, his knees starting to hurt from the cool tiled floor. "She's running a _really_ high fever and she's lost consciousness, possibly due to the high fever? I'm not sure. I don't know what's wrong with her but she definitely needs medical attention. I can't do anything if I don't know what's causing the fever. An ambulance is on it's way."

"Check her over for rashes, inside her mouth too." He spoke surely, already having a presumption about her current state.

"Measles?" Sam questioned immediately. He knew the signs Charlie was talking about and knew what to check for. He was, however, unaware of the measles case admitted today.

"She's immunised against it, she said so today but it's known to happen. She'd just be extremely unlucky." All the while Charlie was speaking Sam was searching every bit of her exposed flesh. Her arms, face, neck. Nothing. Holding the phone in place using his shoulder and head he could finally use both hands to look. Pulling her shirt from being tucked in her trousers he brushed the fabric up, scanning her abdomen with his eyes, still nothing. He left the shirt as it was, feeling just how warm she felt. "Nothing, Charlie." He sighed frustratedly. "Her temperature is still rising."

"Did you check her mouth?"

"Doing it now. I'll put you on to Grace, talk her through it she's a bit worried." He rushed his words out, noticing Grace was trying to hold her tears back. It wasn't just Connie they had to be concerned for now, it was her baby as well. He could hear Charlie speaking to Grace, allowing him to focus one hundred percent on Connie. Opening her mouth gently, he had a quick glance and it was finally confirmed. She had measles. Whilst he was at it he checked her pulse in order to give Charlie as many helpful details as possible before they were brought in.

"Dad, Charlie says to remove as many clothes as possible and wrap her in a really thin sheet until the ambulance gets here." Her eyes were big, looking at him as some sort of saviour.

"Can you find me a sheet?" He asked knowing she'd oblige and he'd be able to speak to Charlie more freely. He took his phone back off her and watched her disappear before speaking. "It's measles, she's got the rash in her mouth." His breathy words indicated to Charlie his obvious discomfort about the situation.

"Look, we know what it is now, just try and bring her body temp down and then leave the rest to us. Okay?" He soothed calmly, not wanting matters to further escalate.

"Yeah, yeah you're right." He took a deep breath, the flashing lights outside grabbing his attention. "They're here, we'll see you soon."

/

"Why?" He questioned with confusion. "What does Connie's past life have to do with you?"

"Michael." Attempting to reason with him, she leant forward in her seat. They'd finished tea and moved into the living room, sat on separate couches and enjoying the mindless TV programme that was currently gracing the screen. "She's my _boss_ and she's apparently about to make my life a living hell. I need some sort of dirt on her-"

"Ammunition?"

"Exactly. So, until you decide to spill the beans, my lips are sealed." Playing him at his own game, a wicked smile crept across her face. "You go first. A fact for a fact." There was a lengthy silence between the two as he sipped at his water and her on her glass of wine. Risky with an alcoholic in her presence but she was adamant he needed to fight temptation early on in his recovery process in order to fully succeed.

"Okay." He started, obviously thinking hard about where to begin. His eyes scanning the floor as he thought. "Her old man used to knock her about when she was younger, they had a pretty hostile relationship and her Mother suffered from depression for most of Connie's life. She was a pretty lonely kid." He glanced up at her, awaiting his fact in return. Little did he know she was leaving the worst until last. "Your turn." He urged, eager to be informed.

"She's about sixteen weeks pregnant, I don't know the sex yet and she has a scan next Friday."

"Sixteen weeks?" He breathed. "Is she showing, have you seen a scan?" Inching forward in his seat, he suddenly caused her to feel bad. How was she supposed to tell him that she seemed to be in a relationship with Sam and it was most likely his baby, not Michael's?

"I saw a scanning image and yes, she's showing but trying her hardest to hide it." Taking a sip of her wine she sat back comfortably. "Your turn again."

"Okay." Licking his lips, he looked as though he was thinking hard. "She got pregnant when she was fifteen, an accident of course, some guy in the year above that used to hassle her, he slept with her for a bet and humiliated her in front of the whole school." He was talking quickly, just wanting it to be her turn to spit out a fact for him. Her face was more relaxed now, she looked like she was trying to process these sad facts. Like she was almost feeling bad for her.

"Grace, her daughter, she doesn't live with Connie anymore. I don't know why."

"Can you be at the scan next Friday?" He ignored her last fact, just wanting information purely on Connie and her unborn baby.

"Hey, it's _your_ turn, remember?" Her brows raised expectantly. "I'll answer that one once you give me one more." She waited a while, studying his face trying to figure out what he was thinking. He looked more pensive now, almost as if he'd unknowingly done the same and saved the worst for last.

"I hit her once." His voice was low, carrying too much shame for her to even comprehend but little did she know about all the other dark and twisted things he'd done. "We'd been out to a work dinner and some Nurse that I'd been sleeping with on the side was giving it all smiles and nudges under the table. Connie's not stupid, she knew all along I was sleeping around and she knew this Nurse was one of the many." He shook his head sadly. "When we got home she started packing my bags for me and chucking my stuff down the stairs, I was off my face drunk and just..." Trailing off, he snivelled before continuing. "Lost my temper and hit her." The room fell silent, all except for the cheesy ads singing out on the TV.

"Well, I hope she hit you back."

"Too right she did." The atmosphere was suddenly awkward upon Michael's confession being aired.

"I can't be at the scan appointment, I have no authority to be there. Sorry." She folded her lips into a weak smile, trying her hardest not to hate him after that last revelation. Technically speaking, although he was her brother, they had only met in the last ten years. She was a lot younger than him and thus, was raised after he'd flown the nest and left home. An advantage to Michael as Connie couldn't recognise her. "I should let you know too, in case you find out some other way, there are rumours floating around that the baby could be her partner's. Which, is perfectly logical if you think about it."

"Partner? What partner?" His eyes squinted angrily.

"Grace's father?" She spoke in a dumbfound manner. "Sam Strachan."

"No, no, no." He suddenly became riled. "That was a one-night-stand, they weren't together. They _aren't_ together." Arguing irately with her, his eyes widened as she nodded fearfully in response to him.

"Okay, that's just something I heard, I'm sorry." She was starting to regret this little deal they had, he sounded like he was in need of a psych consult and the way he was speaking about his ex, she was getting increasingly more concerned for Connie's welfare and the welfare of her unborn baby also.

/

"She regained consciousness en route but remains delirious, has a GCS of thirteen, she has eye opening response to speech, oriented to time, person and place and her motor response is to that of localised pain." Iain sang out her stats as they rolled her into resus. "She's showing signs of tachycardia with a pulse of 110, possibly due to the high fever she's presenting as a result of what looks like a case of Rubella upon Mr Strachan's initial examination." On the count of three they moved her from the gurney to a bed. "I reckon the cooling blanket has done it's job, her temperature is coming down slowly but she's still quite tachycardic." He finished up his handover, and discreetly leant over to Cal, who was leading in resus this evening. "She's appoximately sixteen weeks pregnant as well. Obviously existing life comes before potential life but I'd be more concerned for the baby, especially if it's measles."

"Right." Cal nodded gravely in response to Iain's whispered words. "Thanks Iain." Sam held the door open for him and Jez as they left before approaching Cal quickly.

"We don't need all these people in here."

"I agree." Cal spoke with more volume. "Let's give Mrs Beauchamp some privacy, everybody but Charlie and Duffy leave the room please." Although authoritive, he still adressed the rest of the staff kindly. There were currently no other patients in resus, which worked out well.

"Where's Grace?" Charlie questioned with concern, moving closer to Connie's bed side.

"I made her wait in the office, told her she wouldn't be allowed in here."

"Why don't you go and sit with her, we can manage in here-" Duffy attempted to remove him from the room so that they could do their jobs without any emotional input from him.

"No, no I'm staying." He rubbed his hand over his mouth in a stressed fashion.

"We'll treat her for measles then, get a line in. We'll get her fluids up, she's probably dehydrated as well."

"Wait." Sam interrupted, his face full of hesitation. "What if it's not measles? I mean, it could be any number of things causing a high fever."

"She was dealing with a patient today, turns out he had measles-"

"It takes up to ten days to display measles symptoms, there's an incubation period, how is it possible for her to have contracted it today and already by showing symptoms?" Sam was starting to worry that this could be something a lot nastier, although having measles was nasty full stop, let alone whilst pregnant.

"If you'd just let me finish." Charlie quipped, Cal and Duffy's heads switching between them like they were watching a tennis match. "The patient she dealt with today was in a couple days ago with her too, turns out a boy from his school was in a week and a half ago with a confirmed case of measles, thus coming into contact with both Connie and Elliot before today." His explanation was good enough for Sam who finally felt like he could breathe.

"Shall we get on with it then?" Duffy snapped them out of their mild, testosterone fuelled disagreement. "I'll get hold of an ultrasound." She eyed Charlie, which was a discreet warning, before leaving the room.

It felt like it had been hours. Correction, it had been hours, almost two hours to be precise. There was only so much leg-swinging and deep sighing she could do on the office couch before she showed her Mother's colours and got sick of sitting around. Heading slowly into resus, she was as quiet as a mouse. Not even Duffy clocked her entrance.

"Heart race is extremely fast." Duffy stated, smoothing the scanner head over her Mother's abdomen. "She's sixteen weeks?"

"Yeah." Sam nodded, his hands on his hips as he watched over the Midwife. Cal and Charlie were attending to Connie, who had in true Connie style, become more alert since her temperature dropped and decided she was having none of it. Pulling her IV out along with the leads for the heart monitor. "Why, what is it?" His question received a sad look from her as she folded her lips before finally speaking.

"Typically, before twenty weeks, infection during early pregnancy can result in any number of things-"

"Miscarriage?" His voice was gravelly, matching his grey face. He looked exhausted with stress.

"That, or pre-term labour, or Congenital Rubella Syndrome." The room fell silent. "We'll have to keep her in over night, keep monitoring her. Aside from that, there isn't much else we can do for the baby."

"Great, so I guess we'll just hope for the best then." Sam sounded angry, obviously not at anyone in the room, just at the given situation. When the hell was this woman going to catch a break? If it wasn't a violent ex or placental abruption it was measles. That she had been _vaccinated_ against. That being said, her pregnant state didn't help her immunity to this condition.

"I'm afraid so." She gave his arm a slight rub, Charlie's voice still cooing behind as he continued talking to Connie.

"So, she's going to be okay?" The small voice startled them all, turning to look at her Sam couldn't help but smile.

"Hey, you shouldn't be in here." He gushed, moving over to her. "I'll call your Grandma, you'll have to stay at hers tonight, okay?" The smile he was flashing her was not convincing at all.

"No, I want to stay here. What's happening?" She tried to peer around him but he managed to usher out of the room, kneeling at her level once they were outside.

"Listen, everything is fine, okay? They just have to keep her here overnight to make sure that that's the case."

"And the baby's okay too?" Her voice was low again, he knew what she was doing. She was voicing her true concerns but attempting to seem as though she wasn't really that bothered, just as Connie would.

"He's fine too, yeah." He nodded in response still unconvincingly, suddenly smiling at her wide eyes.

"It's a boy?"

"He's a boy."

/

"It's almost midnight, Sam." Audrey hissed, partially due to her intense anger and partially due to the fact that Grace was now seated in the back of her car and could possibly hear their conversation outside. He had indeed called Audrey, as he said he would, whilst Connie was moved upstairs. She was out of the woods but they couldn't know for sure about the baby at the present moment, only time would tell. His mind was elsewhere and his own Mother could see it.

"Yeah, I know." He agreed harshly, indicating his frustration. "I'm sorry, I didn't want to keep her here any longer and you're the only one I could call."

"Oh, I see how it is. I'm just the only available option, fantastic."

"That's not what I meant and you know it." Suddenly growing tired of her selfish behaviour he shook his head, stepping closer to the car window as he bent down to wave goodbye to Grace. She waved back sleepily, making him smile a tad as he stepped back again. "Look, I've got to go. I'll call you in the morning, let you know what's going on with Grace and school, yeah?" He began to walk away but she halted him with her shrill voice.

"Well, wait just a minute." She did it. She used the _mum_ tone, accompanied by her hands resting lightly on her hips. "Aren't you going to explain what the hell is going on? Christ, you've just dragged me out of bed at eleven thirty at night, the very _least_ you could do is explain the reason behind it!" They stood still under the orange street light, the cool air around them emphasising their breathing as the steamed clouds of fog escaped their lips upon each breath being exhaled.

"Connie's pregnant." If one sentence could shut his Mother up instantly, then that was it. "She came down with something and we didn't want to risk it, they're treating her now. Anything else you need to know? Perhaps what she's wearing? Maybe a list of food we've eaten today?" His sarcasm didn't go down well with her, especially not after his initial bombshell sentence.

"So, what?" She scoffed." She's gone and got herself knocked up again and _you_ get dragged into whatever drama unfolds with it because you have a child with her already?" She laughed coldly. "Fool you once, shame on you but fool you twice, Sam? Shame on her."

"It's mine." He lied so expertly, he almost believed it himself. He _wanted_ to believe it.

"You're lying." After what felt like an eternity of silence, she shook her head adamantly, resting back on one heel as she crossed her arms aggressively. "You wouldn't, you two can't stand each other."

"Tell yourself whatever you need to, I don't know what more I can say." He shrugged carelessly as he started walking backwards away from her, wanting to witness her reaction before turning on his heel and quickening his pace back inside. Needless to say, upon his final view of her, she did _not_ look impressed.

He shook what just happened outside off and headed upstairs regardless of his Mother's obvious disapproval. Arriving upstairs, he bumped into Duffy outside the private room. She was clocking off soon.

"Let her sleep." She smiled, she'd just finished doing a set of hourly obs Connie. "Her temperature is back to normal, she just needs some rest now."

"And the baby?" His brows raised hopefully.

"Heart rate is still a little fast but honestly, so far everything seems okay." He could sense a _but_ coming and he was correct. "But don't get your hopes up, okay?"

"And this has all been explained to her?" Querying thoughtfully, he didn't want her to wake up and be left out of the loop. She'd hate that, and would definitely let it be known to everyone around her.

"Cal ran her through everything on the way up, she was still a little delirious but I think she was following."

"Thanks, Duffy." He yawned tiredly as he stared through the room window at her.

"You go sit with her, I'll fetch you a coffee." Giving him a little wink she scurried away and left him to it.

/

"You look...tired, you feelin' okay?" Greg's voice floated into one ear and out of the other, she was completely away with the fairies. "Hello, Earth to Anna." He waved in front of her eyes, finally getting a response.

"Hm?" She shook her head and snapped herself back to reality. It had been a week since her exchange of information with Michael and upon the last fact she shared with him about Sam possibly being this baby's Father, she hadn't seen him for the past seven days. He left that night whilst she was asleep and hadn't touched base with her since. Initially she panicked when Connie didn't show up for work but it later transpired she'd come down with measles and had been ordered off for two weeks paid leave.

"Anna!" He called again, now slightly annoyed.

"Sorry, I just, I haven't been sleeping well that's all." There was a huge cloud of guilt looming over her, why did she play that game with him? She didn't want any ammunition against Connie, she was just talking angrily.

"Maybe you should go home, you don't look so good."

"I'm fine." She snapped, becoming irritated with these twenty one questions. She needed some space, luckily for her, the last snippy response she'd given him was enough of a hint.

"Say no more." Snatching his files from the counter top he brushed past her and headed into resus, leaving her an her guilt cloud alone to fester together. He was getting tired of this hot and cold nonsense. She was worse than Connie for it.

"How's Connie?" Charlie appeared at Sam's side as they entered the Nurse's station, Anna's ears caught the name and she remained stood at the computer, pretending to look through documents.

"Yeah, she's fine. Still a little knocked back by it but she'd on the road to recovery."

"I'm glad to hear, I also hear congratulations really _are_ in order?" Very cleverly done, Charlie posed his congratulatory sentence as a question. He'd asked Sam initially if the baby was his and the answer from both Connie and himself was a very definite _no._ But now, it seemed they were openly sharing the news. Well, with Duffy anyhow.

"Keep it on the down low, yeah?" He spoke kindly but with a lowered voice. "Everything we talked about when I was in ICU is still relevant, unfortunately."

"Right." Charlie noted where he was going with this, basically stating she was still raped and it's still Michael's baby but he was posing as the Father to save any confusion or upset. "Understood." He folded his lips, patting him on the arm. "You're a decent man, Sam. I'm sorry I ever thought otherwise." Referring back to the budget cuts, Charlie willingly apologised for having judged him wrongly.

"Thanks, that means a lot, really." He smiled back at him, about to speak some more when Anna's phone made all three of them jump. Charlie and Sam only just becoming fully aware of her presence behind them.

"Sorry, I know I shouldn't have my pho-"

"Go and answer it." Charlie growled. "And take ten minutes, you look exhausted." He completed the harsh sentence with a smile, causing her to mimic him as she dashed off with her phone.

It was Michael.

 ***Not too much happened in this chapter, I'm trying to spread out the drama, kind of like how the episodes are! Anyway thanks so so so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! Please leave your feedback, hopefully some dramatic stuff will be happening in the next chapter!***


	25. Chapter 25: United Fronts

***Thank you all so much, once again, to those who leave reviews. It really means a lot, it also helps me to know if I'm on the right track. I hope you enjoy this next chapter, please review!***

 **"** I'm fine." Her words were almost masked by the violent clicking of her heels hitting the hospital floor. She had her time off and was adamant about coming back into work despite Sam's incessant nagging.

"Connie, you're still recovering. You need time to-"

"Don't." She turned to face him and interrupted his sentence fiercely. "Tell me what I _need_ to do." Staff around them all ceased movement for a fraction of a second as they curiously tuned into another one of their petty arguments. He didn't react to her fiery temper and let her have her final word before she stormed off into her office.

"What now?" Charlie near enough sighed the question. "I thought you two were finally getting along? Setting an example for the rest of the team?"

"Yeah well, one minute she's hot the next she's cold. I can't keep up and quite frankly, I'm sick of it." He spat the latter of his sentence, clearly aggravated at her behaviour.

"You can't tell her what to do, just leave her be-"

"No." He laughed humourlessly. "I'm going to do just the opposite, something's up with her and I'm going to find out what it is."

"Right, well there's a time and a place for that." Charlie warned. "Here and now is neither of those. There's been a major RTC, casualties are headed this way as we speak. I suggest you steer clear of Connie until we've dealt with that, unless you're actually planning on suiting down and scrubbing in?"

"No, I've got things to attend to upstairs. Keep an eye on her." He held his gaze upon her office as he spoke. She'd been acting cagey for the last couple of weeks and he had no idea why. She was honestly a puzzle at the best of times. It was different now though, there was a cloudy haze between them and he couldn't read her anymore. He couldn't fathom if it was just the stress of the last couple of weeks getting to her or whether she was purposely blocking him out again. Either way, he was determined to get the bottom of her frustrating behaviour.

/

"What the _hell_ do you think you were doing, Michael?" Anna could no longer bury her anger. Her brother's behaviour was starting to worry her.

"I needed to speak to her! She's having my _baby!_ I have the right to speak to her!" He roared unsteadily, his stance looking incredibly unbalanced. He was drunk. "I just want to talk." His voice lowered, sadness washing over him. "That's all, Anna. I just want to talk to her."

"So you think showing up at her house in _this_ state is the way to go about it? What are you playing at? What if she'd actually been _home?_ Then what?" Her voice was shaking with anger, he'd called her in a fumbled panic outside Connie's house in broad daylight. He'd been trying to get inside, luckily she wasn't home and he was far too drunk to function. "Michael." She pleaded. "You _need_ to get a grip! If not for yourself then at least for your child!" The last part slipped out before she even had chance to contemplate it's effect.

"So you think it's mine too?" He slurred, swaying on the spot.

"Michael, I don't know." Smoothing her hand over the top of her head she took a deep breath. "I have to be at work in twenty minutes, I'll try and speak to her-"

"Anna." He gushed. "Thank you, I pr-"

"On _one_ condition." Her voice was stern all of a sudden. "You don't touch a drop of alcohol again, you go upstairs, shower, sleep it off and do not leave this house until I say so. I swear to God, Michael. If I find out you've gone anywhere near her house again, I'll call the police." She was in control now, her body shaking as she read him his orders, he looked like a child as he nodded obediently.

"I will, Anna, I promise I will." His lips were lazy in their effort of pronunciation. Finally feeling like she had the upper hand in this situation, she watched him slump up the stairs slowly before she took a couple of deep breaths and left for work.

/

"Time of death, eleven twenty-seven." Her words were breathy with emotion, an eight year old girl laying on the bed before them. Only two of their seven casualties survived the major RTC. Neither her or her staff were responsible, she knew that, but that didn't relieve any of the guilt and blame from her shoulders. Resus was gloomy this morning, tainted with only deaths so far.

"We need to inform her parents." Greg spoke delicately, looking at Connie's exhausted face. "I'll go and find them now."

"No." She stopped him. "I'll do it." He knew better than to argue with her, so he let her go. Shooting Charlie a worried glance as she left the room.

Aside from a patient dying, informing relatives of their passing was the next worst thing about their jobs. Her hormones were all over the place as it was but having to explain to these broken people that their eight year old child had just died tipped her over the edge. Having completed the heart-wrenching task, she sought refuge in her office. Closing herself into the silent room, she let it's tranquility calm her. She threw her stethoscope down on her desk and slumped into her chair, her hands massaging her temples therapeutically. She knew she'd been a bitch to Sam, he just never got it though. No matter how many times she'd say it or express it with her actions when she wanted to be left alone he would _still_ persist in harassing her. Her sleep was all over the place, and she was barely getting any if that. She felt mentally and emotionally exhausted. On a positive note, her scan had shown no abnormalities. Her baby was okay and seemingly unscathed by her recent measles infection. Grace was no longer giving her the cold shoulder and seemed as though she was even warming to the idea of having a baby brother. Although she was still carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders, this took a load off.

Her mind spiralled with a million thoughts, call her crazy but she was half tempted to kip in the on-call room, at least she'd be guaranteed more than two hours of sleep in there and not every noise would wake her up and have her fearing for her life. She felt like she was losing her grip on reality, Michael had shown up at her house twice, what was to stop him from doing it again? After all, he had more reason to now if he suspected she was carrying his child. Well, she _is_ carrying his child. Her breaths quickened as she once again became overwhelmed with the whole realisation of things. She could almost trick herself into believing it was Sam's baby but every so often she'd be hit with the sick reality of it all and it would knock her back ten steps.

"Connie, I don't care what mood you're in, we need to talk." He barged in, as per usual, closing the door behind him. He turned to face her, opening his mouth to speak but catching sight of her breathless state he was crouched at her side immediately. "Hey, hey, hey it's okay." He soothed quickly. "Just copy my breaths, okay? In and out, nice and slowly." He emphasised his own breathing pattern, her hand gripping his unexpectedly. He was shocked, admittedly but kept hold of it regardless. This just affirmed his earlier suspicion that something was playing on her mind. She was still struggling to get back into a normal rhythm and she avoided all eye contact as she fought her own body to breathe.

"Mrs Beauchamp, you're needed in resus-" Anna was soon to regret her decision not to knock as she stood open-mouthed in the doorway, walking in on some sort of personal matter.

"Not now, get out." Sam uttered quickly, attempting to give Connie as much privacy as possible, not to mention trying to keep the situation feeling safe and comfortable for her.

"Sorry." She stammered. "I just-"

"Just go, I'll be out as soon as I can." He spoke again with authority, his eyes telling her to leave now without raising his voice. Yelling was a definite no-no in a situation like this. He just had to stay calm in order for her to calm down. The door closed quickly, allowing him to return his concentration to Connie and her erratic breathing.

Having emptied out a brown bag for her to breathe into, he handed it to her straight after Anna left the room. That helped more than anything, it still took her a few minutes to calm down completely.

"I'm coming straight back, don't move." He warned kindly before dashing back out on to the front line.

/

Anna was stood still at the nurses station, frozen to the spot. What the hell was all of that about? Perhaps she _had_ seen Michael outside her house this morning? Her mind raced with thoughts, she needed to get some sort of answer for Michael. That was her condition, she told him if he was to do as she'd asked then she'd give him an answer. But how? Her face was pained with stress but a developing interaction before her may just be the answer. Her eyes narrowed over the many faces and people crowding the corridor, her concentration fixed on Sam as her ushered Charlie into the staff room. Before her mind could even contemplate it, she was stood at the side entrance door, listening in on their conversation.

"Another panic attack?" Charlie's voice was laced with concern. "Perhaps it was the whole measles situation, there was a lot of uncertainty surrounding the baby's chances of survival, that's enough for any expecting woman to have a panic attack."

"No, something else has happened but I don't know what." He looked perplexed and Charlie felt for him, he really did.

"You think it has something to do with Michael?" His voice was low but Anna heard it perfectly well, her ears straining even harder now that Michael's name had been mentioned.

"I don't know, I haven't seen him since he was admitted here after the car crash." He shifted under Charlie's gaze. "I think he knows it's his baby."

"How?" The older nurse questioned worriedly.

"He showed up at her house a few weeks ago, drunk again." He spoke disgustedly, causing Anna's heart to ache for her troubled brother. Growing frustrated with how they were speaking she headed straight to the relatives room to allow herself to calm down, missing the most integral part for Charlie and Sam's conversation.

"He tried to kill her? Why the hell wasn't he locked up?" Charlie questioned furiously, not only angry at that but at the fact that it just so happened to be the night he'd showed up at her house to apologise and then decided against it. If only he'd stuck to his gut instinct, he could have done something. Anything.

"He got off, community service and mandatory AA counselling."

"So, he's still out there and now with the knowledge that she's carrying his child?"

"I think it's bothering her, she looks like she hasn't slept in weeks."

They both exchanged worrying glances before finishing up their conversation and headed their separate ways. Sam making his way back to Connie's office. She was in a more relaxed state now, going through paperwork at her desk, she looked sheepishly at him for a brief second as he entered.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better, thanks." She cleared her throat. "Before you ask, I don't know what happened. I just, panicked." She sounded angry again but he was going to put a stop to this once and for all.

"Cut the crap, Connie. The _only_ person who knows what's going on with you right now is _you._ "

"See." She smiled irately. "If I'd known this was going to be the outcome of me letting you in on strict instructions _not_ to suffocate me then I never would have let you get close in the first place! Countless times I have _warned_ you to leave me alone, to back off just a fraction so that I can _breathe_ but you never listen! You never have! And you know what? I don't think you ever will!"

"Oh." He laughed, showing no sign of humour as he leant forward on one foot. "That is _rich,_ Connie. Because the only person responsible of suffocating you at the moment is _you."_ He retorted quickly. "You trap yourself in a bubble of fear and worry and you don't let anyone in to help! You let it take over you, you tackle everything on your own and you can't see what it's doing to you! Look at you! You look as though you haven't slept in weeks, you're thinner now than before you were pregnant, you can't even focus on small tasks! You're having panic attacks!" His sentence trailed off noticing that she was scoffing at his words.

"Please, don't make me laugh." She shook her head. "And what? You think me talking to you or opening up to you will take back any of this?" She motioned to her five-month bump beneath her black blouse. "I deal with everything on my own, that's the way it's always been. I don't _need_ anybody else!"

"Why face things alone when I'm stood here _begging_ you to let me in? I don't know how many times I can repeat this situation, Connie. I really don't. I'm tired of it. I stayed here in Holby to be closer to Grace. Tell me now, if there is nothing between _us_ then I'll happily head back to the states. Grace can choose who she stays with. I didn't stick around to treated like this." His ultimatum rang loudly through the small room. Her head spinning, she couldn't lose him. This is what she needed. A small wakeup call of what she might lose if she kept up this lone rider behaviour. Because Christ knows, she desperately didn't want to be on her own right now. She sat back down again defeatedly, looking down whilst she spoke.

"I can't sleep." She shrugged. "It sounds ridiculous and I hate myself for it but I feel like if I close my eyes for too long he'll be there, I _know_ he's out there but when he'll next pop up again I have no idea and it's exhausting me." He was deeply shocked at her honest words. He'd genuinely expected her to book his flights for him and wave him off now but this was totally not what he'd imagined. She really did _need_ him. But did she _want_ him?

"I don't think you should stay at yours tonight. I have spare room, you can stay there for however long you need." He could sense she wanted desperately to refuse his kind offer but at the same time she was so tired she'd honestly contemplated sleeping in the hospital so she didn't breathe a word, this he took as a _thank you._ He felt stupid for having offered her the spare room but he didn't know where they stood with one another at the moment and felt that if he didn't mention the spare room he'd appear to be acting very forward.

"Sam." She caught him as he was about to leave, her words almost whispered. "Thank you."

/

"Well, you look a little more presentable." She looked him up and down in her kitchen after closing the blinds and blocking out the dark night sky. "You really scared me today, Michael."

"I know, I'm sorry." He sighed. "I just had a little slip, that's all."

"Well a little slip is something you can't afford to be doing, especially if you're going to fight for your baby." Her words drew a deadly silence upon them.

" _My_ baby? So it's mine?" His words were gushing happily. "How? Did she tell you?"

"Not exactly, I overheard Sam Strachan talking to one of the senior nurses today. He said it was your baby."

"And you're sure that's what he said?"

"Loud and clear." She kept the part about Connie having a panic attack to herself, she didn't know why but she felt as though he didn't need to be aware of that small detail right now.

"So, now what?"

"I guess you need to speak to her, so long as you're _sober._ Then you can talk it out properly, if it is your baby then you have the right to be involved."

"She's stubborn, Anna. She'll keep me out as best she can, trust me, she's a pro at that."

"Look, leave all of that to me. I'll think of something." She spoke surely but on the inside she had no idea what she was going to do.

/

"I left a couple of clean towels on your bed too. There's an ensuite, feel free to use it." He smiled as he let her in, she went home briefly once she'd finished work to get some of her belongings.

She wasn't staying long, just so that she could catch up on some much needed sleep. The black circles under her eyes were the only bags of hers that weren't bearing a designer label. She didn't like this unpolished look she was sporting at the moment and the sooner she caught up on some sleep the sooner she could get back to normal. She was just glad that the news was out now, it was common knowledge throughout the hospital that she was pregnant and nobody seemed to be gossiping about the identity of the Father, which was one less brick upon her shoulders.

"Thanks, I won't be here long-"

"Stay as long as you need, I'm sure Gracie'll like it too." He smiled. "She's at a friend's tonight but she'll be back with us tomorrow." He was totally unaware of it but his last sentence pulled at her heartstrings so hard she felt like a bus had hit her. _She'll be back with us tomorrow._ Us. That small, two lettered word that signified something so much bigger than what it was. A family unit, they'd all be under the same roof together for the very first time. "Connie?"

"Hm?" He'd snapped her out of her thoughts.

"I asked if you wanted something to eat?"

"Oh, no I'm fine thanks. I ate before I got here." She readjusted her stance, her bag becoming heavy in her grip.

"Sorry, let me take that upstairs for you-"

"No, it's fine I can manage." Suddenly aware of her words she realised she was doing exactly what they'd spoken about hours earlier in her office. His eyes were locked on to hers, his hands on her bag as he waited for her to finally let go of it. To his surprise, she did before thanking him. She had a long way to go but shutting everyone out for so long made it hard to let them back in again, it was almost an effort if she was being honest.

The evening swam by with no dramas arising, she'd shocked them both by accompanying him in his living room just as he finished up some paperwork. Both of them still fully-dressed in their work attire, a bad routine each of them had gotten into the habit of doing.

"So, how is Medical Director life treating you?" She stood close to the fire, being warm at the moment was of extra comfort to her. "The paperwork drowning you yet?"

"Surprisingly, no." He smiled, locking the top drawer upon putting everything away. "I was taught by the best remember? _Paperwork is just as important as the exciting stuff._ " He mimicked her previously uttered sentence from years and years ago. She smiled small but genuinely before drifting off off into a daze, her eyes scanning the room. It wasn't at all like her living room. Equally as nice, she had to admit he had taste with furniture too but his was littered with family photographs. In a way it was heart-warming, she couldn't do the same for she only had Grace in her life.

"You used to be blonde?" She smiled looking from the photograph of a young Sam Strachan on his fire place back to him at his desk, he looked embarrassed.

"Yes." He admitted coyly before speaking up in a flat tone. "But that's not me." He could see the confusion on her face as she glanced back at the picture, trying to see if her eyes were deceiving her. They weren't though, it definitely looked like Sam and even Grace shared a resemblance. He got to his feet and approached the fire place, picking up the photo frame as he too studied the image. "It's my brother, Noah."

"You have a brother? You look so alike." She stared at the picture in awe, they could have been twins.

"Had." He corrected sadly and put the frame back where it was, her mind racing with what to say next but she couldn't think of anything. "He died when I was in my early twenties."

"Oh God, Sam I'm sor-"

"No, no." He smiled. "Don't be sorry, you didn't know."

"You've never mentioned him before."

"You've never asked." He looked at her warmly, giving her a small hint. That's when it hit her. She'd never asked him _anything_ about his life or his family or anything. He'd repeatedly harassed her about hers but she never disclosed anything. That's where they were different.

"I'm just not in the habit of asking about people's lives, it's nothing personal."

"I know." He smiled. "I'm not just _people_ though, am I?"

"I guess not." She smiled back uncomfortably before turning around and sitting down on his sofa, he read her body language and took a seat on the opposite sofa.

"He was younger than me, I was supposed to protect him. You know, as the older brother, that was my job."

"What happened?" She asked cautiously, her hand automatically moving to her lower abdomen feeling movement as she awaited an answer.

"He got into a bad crowd of friends towards the end of secondary school, overdosed before his seventeenth birthday." There was a strong sense of sadness to his short answer, she figured he didn't want to speak about it.

"You shouldn't blame yourself, you can't control other people's actions."

"I know." He shook his head. "I just always have these niggling thoughts you know, like what if I'd picked him up that night like we'd originally planned? Maybe he'd still be here." The atmosphere was dark all of a sudden, her hand still soothing her bump.

"I blamed myself when my Mother died, I still do."

"You should take your own advice." He smiled, despite the gloomy conversation. "I never hear you speaking about your childhood, ever. Not even with Grace." He was prying now, he knew it but given the current topic he wasn't sure if she'd caught on yet.

"There's not much to say, it was pretty miserable."

"You didn't get along with your Father, did you?"

"No." She scoffed. "He was a nightmare."

"He didn't seem that bad when I met him in hospital." He leant forward with intrigue but she shut it down immediately.

"You don't know the half of it." Clearing her throat, she inched forward on the sofa before standing up. "Anyway I, uh, I should probably get some sleep." He winced regrettably. Knowing he'd pushed too far, he didn't hold back with his final question.

"That's why you didn't want me involved when Grace was born, isn't it? You could never depend on your Father and wanted to protect Grace from the same thing possibly happening to her."

"You're the Father every child deserves." She stood still in the doorway. "I'm sorry I ever doubted that and put you in the same category as my Father." Turning to face him, she smiled apologetically.

"About to reprise my role when the next one's born." He joked lightly but could see she wasn't up for it. "I meant what I said, Connie. I'm still here. I'm going to be a Father to this baby regardless of how often we fight." He stood up, approaching her slowly. "You can't fool me. I know you too well now. I know you're struggling with this silently, I want to be there so that you're not reminded of _him_ every time you look at this baby. Every time you see his little face you'll think of me instead." He smiled. "He'll pick up my annoying habits and resemble you and Grace in appearance. Not _one_ single part of this baby will resemble _that man_. I won't allow it." He placed his hand on her shoulder, pulling her to him and she couldn't fight it anymore. She melted into him, allowing his arms to embrace her tightly, his chin resting gently on the top of her head. She couldn't even explain how nice it felt to be held so securely.

She felt safe for the first time in weeks.

Little did she know what loomed ahead.

 ***Thanks so much for reading, once again I am trying to space out the amount for drama that happens, just because I don't want a million things happening at once. I hope you all enjoyed, I apologise in advance for any typos, I didn't have time to proof-read properly! Please review!***


	26. Chapter 26: Something

***Thanks for the reviews left on chapter 25, I hope you all enjoy this next chapter too! Please review!***

The daylight seeping through the pale curtains is what awoke her. She blinked slowly, her eyes adjusting to the white light of day as it filled the room. She could hear the rain pounding down on the roof. Shifting slightly, she stretched herself out as her eyes moved to focus on the back of his head where he lay before her. She had no idea when or even how it happened but she'd ended up in his bed every night for the entirety of her stay so far. Nothing other than sleep being involved each time but still, sleeping next to the same person every night for the length of a month formed a bond between people. She felt more emotionally attached to him than before. Previously, their interactions had only ever been ignited by a physical attraction but now it felt deeper than that. This _temporary_ stay at his house was only meant to be for a couple of days but the end never came, she didn't want to leave and nor did he want her to go. It was a strange and unspoken agreement, she just never left and he never questioned it. Now nearing her third and final trimester, she could feel her anxieties arising. She didn't like not knowing what was ahead of her, it snatched away absolutely all of her control and she hated it.

"I can _feel_ you thinking." His growly morning voice pulled her straight out of her thought bubble.

"Sorry."

"What are you stewing about?" He stretched out too, copying her wake-up routine before rolling on to his back and turning his head to face her. "Tell me."

"So many things." Her short answer told him she didn't want to talk about whatever was plaguing her mind.

"When are you going to take your leave?" He approached the question carefully, not wanting to push his ideals on to her. It would only end up in an argument.

"I don't know. I just want to keep busy, Sam." She rolled from her side to her back, her bump becoming visible under the duvet. They lay silently for a couple of minutes before she threw the covers back and got up. "You're going to be late on your first day." She warned, his shirt almost like a dress on her as she headed to his ensuite. Both were confused about the current situation, they'd sort of slipped into this comfortable platonic relationship that held no obvious title. They weren't a _thing_ but at the same time they weren't _not_ a thing. Maybe that's how she wanted it? She certainly wasn't dismissing his advances towards her, a quick touchy-feely moment every so often and the odd kiss stolen here and there.

"There's less pressure now, I'm a junior doctor again." He stretched his arms up properly, his voice altering as he moaned with pleasure at the feeling. He'd stepped down as Medical Director, the responsibility was too much and he wanted to get back to his roots. Not to mention being able to spend more time with Grace.

"If anything, there's _more_ pressure." She appeared in the doorway, toothbrush in hand. "There's a lot of people you need to impress now, you're not sat on your throne upstairs anymore, Sam."

"I've got this." He smiled confidently. "I mean, _technically_ I am sleeping with the boss."

"Don't get cocky."

* * *

"Michael, you shouldn't be here!" She whispered harshly, dragging him around the corner of the ED doorway entrance. "What the hell are you doing?!"

"I can't take this anymore!" He wiped at his mouth and chin irritably. "I can't sit and do _nothing_ about this any longer, Anna. She's carrying my child and I have the _right_ to know and discuss it with her, do I not?!"

"Of course you do." She soothed, attempting to diffuse the situation, she needed him to leave right now before he was seen. "But I told you, we can't prove anything until the baby is born, okay? We'd need DNA evidence to prove that he's yours!" There was a stark silence for a moment or so, his face melting with joy.

" _He_?" Stammering emotionally, his words softened. "A son. I don't believe it, I'll have a son." His demeanour changed and she was relieved. He was starting to show more and more signs of physical aggression towards her lately and it was beginning to worry her.

"I found out yesterday, Sam let it slip in front of me." She shifted uncomfortably, noticing that his body language stiffened.

"The foster Father." His gritted teeth only just allowed the words to escape his mouth. "Over my dead body will another man raise my son."

Across the way, Greg was just arriving at the hospital, his attention immediately snatched by the sight of Anna and this mystery man involved in some sort of heated discussion. He stopped, observing them from a distance, neither of them had seen him yet. He'd just caught the tail end of what looked like an argument as this stranger pulled out of her grip and stormed off. He was headed this way, muttering and cursing under his breath as he brushed past Greg.

"Hey, watch it." Greg scolded upon being knocked, obviously irritating this angry looking man.

"Oh, bugger off!" His tone was gruff but he clearly didn't want to fight, he kept on walking leaving Greg to turn his focus back to Anna. She looked visibly upset but pulled herself together and entered the hospital, him hot on her tail. He caught up to her in the staff-room.

"Where were you last night? I called you three times."

"Oh God, Greg. Please." She begged, her eyes closed frustratedly as she put her bag and coat into her locker. "Not now, I'm already late."

"Who is he?" He ignored her pleas, cutting straight to the chase. "I saw you arguing with a man, just now, outside. Who was he?" Now facing her completely, he was waiting expectantly for an answer.

"You're not serious?" Giving him a cold look she shook her head an slid past him angrily. "Forget about dinner tonight, I can't be bothered dealing with you when you're like this." She jumped when his hand reached across her, slamming the door shut before she could get out. Trapping her between himself and the door.

"When I'm like _what,_ Anna? Worried about you?"

" _Jealous_." She scoffed. "Always asking me where I've been, who I've been with. You don't _trust_ me, Greg."

"I just saw you, outside arguing quite intensely with a man I've never seen before, what am I supposed to think?" His temper was flaring now too.

"You're pathetic." she tried to push him away, finally losing her temper. "He's my _brother._ " Her confession shocked him, allowing her to make her escape before she said anymore. She was already regretting what she'd said so far.

* * *

"Ah, Mr Strachan. Nice of you to join us." Connie smiled through her words as Sam entered resus looking very smug. "Come on, we haven't got all day. This is Daisy Cunningham, she was knocked down at a pedestrian crossing this morning on her way to work. Suspected multiple fractures in both legs and a superficial laceration to the head."

"Hi Daisy." He smiled whilst sanitising his hands. "I'm Sam Strachan, I'm going to be treating you along side Mrs Beauchamp, okay?" He smiled at her small nod, noting a look of nervousness to her.

"No offence, but are you sure you're allowed to be treating me like that?" Her eyes glanced down to Connie's bump causing Sam to cease up in anticipation for her fiery response. She'd been a touch snappier than usual as of late, possibly down to her hormones.

"I'm pregnant, not incompetent." Her words were razor sharp as her eyes flickered up to Sam's frustratedly. "Right, well in that case I'll just leave her in your capable hands then." Shoving the notes into Sam's hands she stormed out of resus, although in more appropriately sized heels in comparison to her Louboutins her exit was just as dramatic.

"I didn't mean any harm, I was just asking a question." The young woman looked at Sam apologetically.

"Honestly, don't worry about it." He smiled warmly. "I'm putting it down to hormones." His face froze for a second. "Best not to mention I said that though."

"Too right." She laughed nervously, wincing when the pain took over again.

Over in her office, Connie was attempting to let her anger simmer. At the same time as wanting to be a good and attentive mother she also didn't want her career to suffer. There was no way she could balance the job and a newborn baby, not in the ED anyway. Up on Darwin she had an easier ride, it was less chaotic up there. At least this time she had Sam, technically speaking she had him last time but refused to allow him in. Perhaps it would be easier with him around, at least she hoped it would be. Looking through her emails she couldn't help but smile, Elliot Hope had heard the news of her pregnancy through the grapevine and wished her and the baby well via email. If only he knew the sad reality.

Taking a breather outside, Greg sat on the wooden bench across from the ED entrance. The cold air was biting at his exposed arms and the breeze ruffling his scrubs as it travelled past him in short bursts. He really, really liked Anna but this was getting ridiculous. There was no communication between them anymore, it was getting to be a chore more than an enjoyable relationship. Allowing his thoughts to swirl about what he should do, he sighed out angrily before getting to his feet.

"You're Greg, aren't you?" The unfamiliar voice snatched his attention immediately.

"Yeah, and I'm guessing you're Anna's brother." Greg's sentence wasn't a question. They stood staring at one another for a few seconds before Michael broke the silence.

"I've heard so much about you." He smiled, it was sickly though. He couldn't put his finger on it but there was something oddly off about this man.

"Oh really? That's strange because up until this morning I was unaware Anna even had a brother."

"So, I'm her little secret? That's nice to know."

"Look, I don't want to sound rude here." He lied, becoming irritated with this pointless introduction and conversation. "Did you need something or can I get back to work?"

"No, no." He held his hands up, still smiling. "Just thought I'd be polite and introduce myself after how rude I was to you this morning. We got off on the wrong foot, sorry." His words instilled a feeling of guilt within Greg, he was angry and taking it out on people around him.

"Yeah." He winced, shaking his head with regret before stepping closer to Michael with an outstretched hand. "Sorry, it's nice to meet you...?"

"Michael." He filled in the missing part of his sentence, shaking his hand.

"Right, Michael. Well, it's nice to have met you but I really do have to get back to work." He ended the handshake kindly before heading back inside, he needed to find Anna and fix this mess.

* * *

The silence was beyond awkward. It was one of those awful moments where one is unsure of whether to endure the harrowing quietness or risk shattering the peace by speaking. Luckily, Jacob made the first move so she didn't have to.

"I, uh, wanted to apologise." The first sentence was spoken but the atmosphere remained uncomfortable. "You know, about the way I reacted." He motioned to her bump. "I shouldn't have behaved like such a...toddler about the whole thing." His apology was genuine, a light smile on his face.

"Well, it's part of your charm, I guess." She spoke softly, smiling a little too. She didn't have the energy to argue or fight at the moment. Not when there were much more pressing matters at hand. They were alone in the lift, both headed upstairs, Connie to a meeting and Jacob to visit a friend up on Darwin. He'd been admitted as a patient.

"I'm happy for you." He rubbed her arm gently, frowning when she seemed to laugh in a sceptical manner. "What? I mean it, you deserve a little happiness after the year you've had with Grace and all her struggles." Little did he know her laugh was more in response to the fact that this particular situation was by no means a planned out road to _happiness_ , it was a case of attempting to find whatever happiness she could that would possibly come from this set of unfortunate circumstances.

"Thank you." She appreciated his kindness, regardless of her current state of mind. She was battling more than one demon at the moment.

"So it's a boy? A little Master Beauchamp in the making." His smile made her feel warm, it felt nice knowing he wasn't harbouring ill or angry thoughts about their failed relationship any more. He was like a dark cloud before today, hovering over her and the ED like a depression. "Thought of any names yet?"

"No." Her brows raised, suddenly realising she hadn't even contemplated that. In fact, she hadn't really thought about much of what would happen after he was born. Would they stay living with Sam? Would Sam's name be on the birth certificate? Would Audrey be involved as his Grandmother even though she wasn't in any way related to him? And what about Michael? What if he somehow managed to fight her for him? Her head was suddenly spinning.

"Hey?" The concern on his face was quick to come over him as he stepped closer to her, she looked faint. "Connie, what's wrong?"

"Hm?" Suddenly coming back to the moment, she glanced up at his warm, dark eyes, steadying herself on his arm.

"You looked like you were about to pass out, you feeling okay?"

"Yeah." She nodded quickly, brushing him off as fast as possible. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a dizzy spell, that's all." She was literally saved by the bell, the lift dinged at her floor and the doors rolled open for her to exit but not before Jacob's words got a raise from every single hair on her being.

"Oh yeah, keep a look out, I saw Michael this morning." He pressed his floor number again once she'd exited the lift. "He was talking to Greg outside the entrance, didn't look like he was here to cause trouble, just thought I'd give you a heads up though in case you wanted to avoid him." He smiled, completely unaware of the fear she held within herself because of this man and why.

Her attendance at this meeting was pretty much pointless, she didn't contribute to it verbally or in presence. In fact, she'd have been better off just not going. She couldn't focus on even the smallest of things anymore, the 'not knowing' aspect of this whole situation is what was driving her crazy more than anything. Not knowing how'd she'd feel about this baby when he was born, not knowing what was going on with her and Sam, not knowing when or if Michael would _ever_ leave her alone. There was no stability or security. The only thing that was consistent for her at the moment was her job, so inevitably she was going spend every waking hour throwing herself into her work. It'd keep her mind free of the demons in her mind. As for Michael being at the hospital right now, she was sick of fearing him, sick of his being hovering over every move she made. If he wanted her, for whatever reason, she was here and always will be. For all she cared, he could come and find her, scream and yell at her like the toddler he was, at least in a public space he wouldn't attempt anything ridiculous. Although, having said that, she was quite certain no harm would come to her if he was under the correct impression that she was carrying his child.

She went the rest of the day in a trance, avoiding as many people as possible and attempting to stick to the confines of her office until the end of the day. Even though she told herself she was ready to face Michael should he jump out at her, nothing could prepare her for when she did actually see him in the flesh. It irked her to no end that she was bothered by a man. But he'd caused her so much trauma, she feared she'd never feel whole again. His cold voice was even cooler than that of the cold night air, it halted both herself and Sam as they attempted to get in their cars parked side by side.

"You can't hide forever, Connie. I'll stop at nothing to be a part of my son's life." Unaware of Sam's presence on the other side of her car, Michael approached her boldly.

"Take another step closer and I'll call the police." Sam appeared out of nowhere much to both Michael and Connie's surprise, he was ready to intervene if necessary.

"On what grounds?" He more or less laughed in his face having got over the initial shock of this confrontation.

"You _know_ what grounds." Spoken through gritted teeth, his nostrils flared with anger. "I won't think twice about telling them everything I know."

"Sam." Connie grabbed his forearm, noticing his posture change in order to square up with Michael. "Just leave it."

Across the carpark, Greg, Anna, Ethan and Cal were walking side by side, headed for the pub. Their attention immediately grabbed by both the sight and sound this confrontation happening in the car park.

"Hey." Greg squinted his eyes in the same direction. "Anna, isn't that you brother over there?"

"What?" She questioned airily. She was back on cloud nine after finally having made peace and making up with Greg. A smile still upon her face, she turned quickly only to have her happiness shattered and her face dropped quickly as her heart sank.

"What's he doing talking to Sam, it looks a little heated." Their interest in the verbal exchange soon gained Ethan and Cal's attention too.

"No, I think that's Michael Beauchamp?" Ethan corrected with Cal nodding in agreement.

"Yeah. You're right, Nibbles." Their movements ceased as Anna pulled free from Greg's grip and headed over to them in a hurry, to no surprise Greg followed her quickly, wondering just what the hell was going on.

"Michael!" She barked quietly, not wanting to draw too much attention to herself. It was no use though, her desperate pleas were no match for the amount of testosterone fuelling this interaction. They were almost nose to nose now, neither one backing down. Connie still had hold of Sam's forearm in an attempt to snap him out of it but he wasn't listening either, he was furious. Nobody could hear exactly what they were saying as they were so close to one another but they soon figured it must have been heated words. As Greg neared them all he went to open his mouth but instead was thrown in to play referee as Michael shoved Sam unexpectedly, throwing Connie back in the process. The mere sight of the altercation was enough to invite Ethan and Cal over to assist, obviously Cal lent a hand to Greg who was trying pull the two men apart as they continued to scrap and Ethan was at Connie's side instantly.

"Mrs Beauchamp." He crouched down quickly. "Don't move too suddenly." He soothed kindly, noting the broken look in her eyes. He'd never seen her like this before. "Are you hurt anywhere?" His eyes scanned her face as she shook her head in response. She'd landed on her side, her hand supporting her luckily. It could have been so much worse though. "Let's get you up." Holding her arm supportively, he helped her to her feet. They were both relieved when they turned around to see that the fight had been broken up successfully, Cal restraining Sam and Greg doing the same with Michael whilst dragging him away from the situation.

"You okay, Connie?" Cal directed his question around Sam, a passive aggressive way of telling him he didn't care for his welfare but more for a pregnant woman who was violently knocked to the ground because of him.

"She's fine, I think." Ethan spoke for her upon her lack of answer, she was shocked. How did Michael know the baby was a boy? And how did Anna know Michael's name? "Maybe we should take you inside and get you checked out just to be safe?"

"No, I'm fine, honestly." She snapped back to reality and re-wrapped her coat around herself, trying to keep warm. Truth be told her hands were grazed and stinging.

"You can let go of me now." Sam pulled out of Cal's restraining hold. Straightening his suit up as he kept an eye on Michael across the car park, the three of them were yelling amongst themselves now.

"I think the pub's off the cards for them, Nibbles." Cal shrugged nonchalantly. "Pizza takeout at ours?"

"Um, yeah." He stammered unsurely, not sure how he was just acting as though none of this just happened. Still blinking in disbelief as Cal brushed past them all, he looked at Connie sweetly once more. "Are you sure you're okay, Mrs Beauchamp?"

"I'm fine, Ethan." She smiled tiredly. "Thank you." Her words were genuinely spoken as he nodded and followed Cal, jogging to catch up.

"I told you to _leave it_ , Sam."

"And then what?" He turned to face her, still riled up. "Something has to be done, otherwise he's just going to keep on haunting you like this!" His words were emotional, letting her know it wasn't just a display of masculinity he just took part in but he honestly wanted to look out for her.

"I'll handle it, just don't get involved with him." Her words trailed off. "He's poisonous."

* * *

They drove back to his, in their separate cars. It was probably a good thing as it gave them both some breathing space before they were back in house with Grace present. It was nice, not the incident that just happened, but the fact that they were driving back to the same house each night and the three of them would eat dinner together. They both noticed Grace had blossomed in mood since Connie's lengthened stay. Tonight was a touch different though, Connie and Sam returned both with dampened moods and didn't have much to say to her or each other at the table. It was silent.

"What happened to your hands, Mum?" Grace questioned cautiously as she spooned some broccoli into her mouth. Sam's eyes narrowed in on the grazed gashes on her palms, a pang of guilt hitting him hard. That was partially his fault.

"Oh, nothing." She smiled convincingly. "I just grazed them, nothing to worry about." Clearing her throat, she straightened her knife and fork up having finished her food. "How was school, you said you had a class presentation today?" He watched on in awe, she was so incredibly talented at covering her pain up. He offered her a small smile as an apology when she glanced his way but she didn't seem to accept it and instead continued to listen to Grace explain about her school work. That's how the evening continued to go until Grace took herself upstairs to get herself ready for bed.

"Let me do that." He tried to take the plates from her but she refused his help.

"I can manage, I'm not a complete invalid."

"Why are you being like this?" His eyebrows wrinkled, confused at her mood change.

"I don't need you fighting my battles, Sam. I told you not to get involved with Michael, to leave it alone but you don't _listen_."

"So, what?" He leant against the counter top, watching her as he spoke. She was avoiding his gaze. "Just leave him to it? Let him carry on stalking your every move? Because that's what he's doing, Connie. He's following you around like a shadow. We both know he's shown up at your house twice now, what happens when he works out you're staying here? Will he start showing up at _my_ house whilst Grace is here as well?" His words held an anger but they weren't angrily spoken. She'd never experienced him like this before. Taking his concerns on board, her body became less tense as she lowered the pates into the hot soapy water in the sink. Forgetting about her gashed hands, she hissed upon feeling the stinging sensation.

"They need cleaning and dressing." Not giving her a chance to protest, he grabbed her wrists gently and pulled her back to the kitchen table as he kicked out a chair for her. "Sit down." She obeyed, for once. Doing as she was told she sat down with her soapy hands held out in front of her, palms facing up and stinging even more with the cold air hitting them in contrast to the hot water they'd briefly been sat in. Retrieving a first aid kit, he re-appeared again and pulled another chair out to sit in front of her. She didn't speak, instead she just watched him as he dried her hands gently before beginning to clean them with antiseptic. Her eyes were glued to his face, his expressions changing frequently as he tended to her.

"What is this?" Her question came out of nowhere, causing him to smile.

"It's a dettol antiseptic wipe-"

"Not the wipe, Sam." She corrected in disbelief. "This. Us. Me and you. What is _this_ that's happening right now?" The question stumped him, he didn't really know the answer either. His movements stopped completely as he looked up at her.

"What do you want it to be?" She heard his words but flinched when he hit a tender spot on her hand, breaking his concentration. "Sorry." He winced empathetically, looking down at her sore palms. "I think there's some gravel or glass or something in there. Hold still." Losing track of his prior question, he grabbed the tweezers from the first aid kit and pulled out a small shard of glass embedded in her skin. "There." He smiled. "Got it." Starting to dress the wounds, the heat of his hands on hers made her relax into the chair, allowing him to get on with it as she watched attentively before speaking again.

"Do you want it to be something?" Her mind wouldn't allow her to drop the thought. This was one of the demons plaguing her mind and causing her angst. Here she was presented with the opportunity to exorcise this demon, how could she not cease it with both grazed hands? It felt like a thousand years before he finally spoke, the dimly lit kitchen offering them a comfortable light for this particular conversation.

"I thought it already was something. I just didn't want to push you too hard, dealing with you is like working around a bomb ready to detonate sometimes." He looked down coyly. "I mean, I never thought these words would ever leave my mouth because you're the only person I know that can drive me absolutely _crazy_ with anger but at the same time I still want to be around you. I care about you more and more each day and more than just as the Mother of my child. It's taken me a while to see it, but tonight reaffirmed that feeling because I wanted nothing more than to _kill_ that man when I saw him." He let go of her hands, remembering their altercation earlier this evening as he clenched his fists. Her hands covered his, a kind offering of comfort.

"It's something." Her mind was cringing at her own actions of dancing around the topic of _feelings_ by using meaningless words. She was a woman of _meaning_ , she said exactly what she thought and felt at all times but right now she just wanted simplicity. After all, they both knew where this was headed, it just hadn't been verbally stated, until now. That small sentence was all he needed to hear from her. Leaning forward, he snaked his hand up around the back of her neck and cupped at it gently, guiding her towards him so that their lips could meet. It wasn't a passionate clinch or lustful moment like they'd usually had in the past, this one held meaning.

* * *

"What's wrong?" The darkness masked out everything but his voice and body heat. Sam was the little spoon, laying on his right hand side in bed facing the window. Connie was tucked closely behind him, positioned lower down and right behind his back. He had his left arm reached behind himself, an offer of comfort to her.

It was a scientific fact that women form stronger emotional attachments to someone they regularly sleep next to, and that exact thing had happened to her. Only being used to the act of self-comforting it felt nice to have someone else do it for her, now she struggled to find sleep unless she had some sort of skin contact with him, whether it be her foot on his or the skin on her arm up against his back. As long as she could feel him there she felt comforted. Once upon a time she'd have mentally scolded herself for allowing things to get like this but after the year she'd had, she recognised that she needed someone there for her and was choosing to accept and embrace it. Tonight however, was the first night they'd actually done more than just _sleep._

"He knew it was a boy."

"Who?" Stirred from his sleep by her fidgeting, he was prompted to ask her what was wrong. Now he was confused in his sleepy state, it was two o'clock in the morning.

"Michael. He said he'd stop at nothing to be a part of his _son's_ life _._ " She had one hand on her bump, massaging it softly as she stewed. That was common practice now too, in the time it took her to fall asleep after him she'd lay and think for hours. Then she'd wake before him and lay doing the same thing again. It was consuming her. "And Anna." She added. "She knew his name."

"Maybe it was from when he was admitted?" He spoke lazily, still half asleep, his arm now moved to drape over her behind him.

"Yeah, maybe." She indulged him regardless of the fact that she knew Anna wasn't working in the ED when Michael was admitted. He obviously and understandably wasn't thinking straight in his slumber. Leaving her to dwell in silence, her thoughts still racing.

* * *

"Greg, please!" Anna's sobs masked most of her words but she was begging regardless. She'd been staying at his a couple nights a week but that was all about to end. He was packing up whatever belongings she had laying around at his place, angrily throwing them into a bag.

"I'm sick to death of going around in circles with you, Anna." His Irish accent was thick with anger. "Next you'll be telling me this child of yours doesn't exist." The silence was harrowing, causing him to come to a stand-still as he stared at her distraught face. "Oh, no." His lips folded with fury. "She doesn't exist, does she? I can't believe this! Is your name even Anna?!"

"Please, hear me out-"

"What? And have you spin more lies for me?! I don't think so." Shoving the bag into her hands he firmly showed her the door. "That was your deal from the get- go, wasn't it?"

"Greg-"

"Your brother is Connie's ex-husband and you didn't even think to mention it to me?!"

"Stop!" She screeched so loudly it made her own ears ring, the silence following her yell was almost as deafening but he was finally quiet. "Please, just let me explain from the beginning."

"Explain what-"

"Everything!"

 ***Oh my god, what a pain in the arse this chapter was. I re-wrote it twice and then the site decided to crash for an hour and I thought I'd lost it all again! I really hope this was okay for everyone! It feels really stilted to me because I wrote it over the period of a week instead of all in one go which I prefer to do! Please review and I hope you liked it! :O ***


	27. Chapter 27: Loose Ends

***Thank you all so much for the reviews you left on the last chapter, really appreciate you taking the time to do so as these chapters take me a fair while to type too! I hope you enjoy this next one, I tried to get posted ASAP because you were left waiting so long for the last one! Please review!***

The working atmosphere was still fraught with friction. Anna had sobbed her heart out that night, explaining every last detail to Greg. How could he not forgive her after that? She more or less confessed to the fact that she was scared witless of her own brother. How his aggressive outbursts were becoming more violent and more frequent. Then came the most concerning revelation, she shared with him just how worried she was about Michael's involvement with Connie and this baby. Sam said himself that the baby was Michael's but alarm bells were sounding deep in her mind.

Now sharing the weight of this confession, Greg had convinced her to take a week off work and he'd speak to Connie. As he had anticipated, it didn't go down too well. She was furious, and rightfully so. Anna had left her and her unborn child open to danger as a result of her affiliation with her toxic brother but she was free of him now, having moved in completely with Greg. It was extremely rushed but he knew it was the right thing to do, both for their young relationship and her safety also. Connie had her guard up again, spending less time with her staff and her interactions with them being only brisk exchanges of words. The likes of Charlie, Sam and Duffy, the people who knew, were understanding of this but it made Greg question all of the details Anna had shared with him.

"Sam." He called out from the staff room upon seeing him pass-by.

"What's up?" Turning on the spot, he headed back towards the staff room.

"Can I have a word with you? It's important." They held eye contact for a couple of awkward seconds before Sam nodded slowly and entered the room.

"What's this about?" He leant against the counter, waiting for the blow.

"Actually, it's about Connie and this whole messy situation." After using his hands to emphasise his words, he burrowed them into his trouser pockets and leant back against the wall opposite Sam. "I understand there's gonna be some tension between Connie and Anna, I don't doubt that for a second."

"Of course." He laughed with an undertone of irritation. "She's caused a lot of damage because of what she did-"

"Yeah, I know." Cutting him off sharply, he had to take a second to recollect himself. "I know that, so does Anna and she's sorry but that's not what any of this is about."

"What then?" Becoming aggravated he demanded an answer instantly.

"Anna told me she overheard you and Charlie talking, mentioning that _Michael_ is the Father of this baby." He let his words sink in for a second before quickly talking again upon seeing Sam inhale to start speaking over him. "I don't know if it's true or not but that's one of the confessions she passed on to Michael. I just felt that you should know because I honestly feel like he's going to fight tooth and nail for his paternal rights _if_ this baby is really his." There was complete and utter silence as Sam let this fact register with his brain, Greg's eyes roaming over the obvious worry plastered all over his face. "It is his baby, isn't it?" The way he asked the question automatically told Sam that he already knew the answer. "Did he _rape_ her?"

"This discussion is over." He stood up properly again, preparing to leave. "If Anna so much as puts another _toe_ out of line, I won't hesitate in forcing her resignation and making her life a living hell-"

"She's not going to put another toe out of line, Sam. She's aplogised, she's staying with me and I can keep an eye on her. Michael's already turned her life into hell on Earth as it is." Sam's brow wrinkled slightly, not really knowing where this conversation was headed. "If I'm right about what I just said regarding this baby and I have even the _slightest_ suspicion that Michael is sniffing around, you'll be the _first_ to know. I can promise you that." And there it was, a sort of pledge made between the two men. Sam wasn't exactly sure of what to say but having another male on side against this beast of a man was more than an advantage and he was grateful.

"Thank you."

Sam never answered Greg's questions about Connie but he didn't have to. The look in his eyes gave Greg the answers he suspected. It sounded ridiculous but Sam even felt a little relieved that somebody else other than Charlie was aware of the situation. He got the distinct impression that Mr Douglas still held a little flame for Connie, which helped reassure him that the secret would be safe with him. Not to mention having an extra pair of eyes around looking specifically for any unwelcome visits from Michael. Security were informed too and handed a photo of Michael stating he wasn't to enter the premises unless injured and seeking medical attention. He was like smoke. He seemed to have disappeared altogether, not for Connie though. He was still plaguing her mind and haunting her every move.

* * *

"You don't have to come, you know?" His words were soft. "You're seven months pregnant, she's not _expecting_ you to be there."

"I know." She sighed. "But Grace wants me to come. She said she wants us to do things together like a _normal_ family." He could hear the frustration in her voice. "Exactly how _big_ is this family get-together of your Mother's?" She glanced at him from across the kitchen, it was nearing four in the afternoon and they were just waiting on Grace getting home before heading to Audrey's for her birthday. It was the _last_ place Connie wanted to be right now but because Grace had asked her explicitly she was more than prepared to oblige. Anything to keep on healing her relationship with her daughter, even if it meant having to deal with Audrey for a whole evening.

"It's big." He folded his lips and squinted sympathetically upon seeing her eyes roll. "Thirty, maybe forty people."

"Forty?!" She questioned in disbelief. "Forty family members?! The most I've ever had at one time was _three_!"

"What can I say? We're a big, close-knit family." He laughed. "It's a lot of close friends too."

"I want out." Her stony sentence was softened with a small smile. "And they're all _really_ celebrating that your Mother is _still_ alive?"

"Connie." He warned. "I know she can be difficult but Christ, you can be just as bad. All I'm asking is that you both just get along for _one_ night. That's it. _Please._ "

"Look, if she behaves herself then so will I. We both remember what happened the last time."

"Yeah, well, I've given her a verbal warning too. It's her 70th birthday, she'll be on her best behaviour, especially in front of guests."

"And she knows?" Her brows raised skeptically. "About this?" Pointing to her bump, she awaited an answer.

"Yes, I told you already. She knows you're pregnant and I made sure she knew it was mine."

"I can only imagine her reaction at that." She scoffed just thinking about it.

"Connie, it was inevitable that she was going to voice her dislike for the situation but it's something she'll just have to get used to." He took a sip from his coffee mug and smiled before their conversation was interrupted by Grace. Hugo and his Dad had dropped her home after school, and right on time ready to go.

"Right, let's get this over with then." She huffed the words out before taking a deep breath, readying herself for the evening ahead. Sam couldn't help but smile at her immense lack of enthusiasm. It was going to be a long night for Connie.

* * *

"Oh, so, you must be Grace's Mother?"

"Yes." She responded for the seven hundredth time that evening. Every single individual she was introduced to asked her the same three questions and she felt like she was about to implode. _Oh, so you're Grace's Mother? Aw, how far along are you? Do you know the sex yet?_ Her brain felt like jelly. Of course Sam disappeared as soon as they arrived, she shouldn't be annoyed at him for it but all the same she was slightly unamused.

"When are you due?" The woman asked, jolting her from a pleasant daydream she was having of being far, far away from here.

"Not for another eight weeks." She smiled as best she could, which proved to be more difficult when Audrey appeared from the crowds. It was a fairly big house she was holding this extravagant party at, some country club she was affiliated with and everyone was invited to stay the night since there was well over fifty rooms in this bloody mansion.

"Alice, dear, Trevor is looking for you out on the patio." She touched this woman's arm kindly, smiling until she'd headed off in the direction this Trevor person must have been. "That woman is an absoute menace. I saw her headed your way and thought I best come and relieve you of her." She laughed warmly. "There's no escaping her once she's got her teeth sunken into conversation with you." Connie smiled small as a way of thanking her. She wasn't one hundred percent sure what was going on here, was Audrey actually _being nice_ to her?

"Thank you." She sighed. "I feel like a broken record."

"Grace is looking well." Her eyes wandered over to Grace who was laughing away with some of the other children there, kids of family friends. "It's nice to see her smiling again."

"Yeah." Connie cooed, not hiding her own smile as she looked on at Grace too. "Seeing her happy is all that matters."

"You know." She began, turning to face her properly, a more serious tone of voice being used. "I really do owe you an aplogy, Connie."

"Really, Audrey, it's fine-"

"No, please." She reassured. "Let me finish, I _want_ to apologise." The silence she was met with from Connie was the permission she sought to continue. "I thought this whole union between you and Sam was being forced due to the current circumstances." Motioning to Connie's bump discreetly she pressed on. "But I can't recall ever seeing him happier than he is now, and Grace too." She placed her hand on Connie's that was holding the side of her bump supportively. "It's built into him, that _want_ and _need_ to have a family to look after and protect. He's finally got that now." Connie couldn't help but feel a rush of emotion come over her at the sight of Audrey's eyes tearing up. Although surprisingly more in control of her emotions she managed to stay composed. Placing her hand atop of Audrey's in the same manner, no words were needed. The gesture itself spoke a thousand words.

Across the room, Sam was mid-conversation with an old school friend when he just so happened to glance up at the perfect time, catching the moment between his Mother and Connie. It was a relief if he was being honest, he could deal with men fighting and the likes but women were a whole different story. He smiled even though neither of them could see him. This is what he wanted, for Connie to feel as though she had a support system around her. Slowly, it was all coming together. They still had a long road ahead of them but these were important baby steps.

* * *

"I saw you two."

"Who two?" She asked dryly as she removed her jewellery in front of the large vanity mirror.

"You and my Mother, having a heart to heart by the looks of it." He smiled as he unbuttoned his shirt. Their whispers were still filling the room but Grace lay asleep on the single bed in the corner only feet away. It was one o'clock in the morning and she'd had a big night.

"Oh _that._ " She smiled too. "She was thanking me."

"For what?"

"Reining you in and keeping your grounded."

"She didn't say that." He laughed quietly for a brief second before he turned serious again. "Did she?"

"More or less." She turned to face him, he looked like a puppy. Just like he did when she first met him all those years ago.

"You know what?" He whispered. "I had so many people looking at you and Gracie tonight, asking me how I got so lucky."

"Yeah? Well, let's just hope your luck doesn't start to run out." She joked with a tired smile as he struggled to properly remove his shirt. Helping him off with it, she watched on as he collapsed on to the bed. Laying on his front, his trousers still on. He and Grace were in almost exactly the same position, she too was still on top of the covers.

"Oh God." He moaned into the pillow. "What a night. Being social with a bunch of people aged sixty to seventy is exhausting." His eyes were closed and he was speaking lazily.

" _You're_ telling _me_?" She moved around the double bed towards the single in the corner, and gently maneuvered a sleeping Grace so that she was underneath the covers. Managing to do it without waking her, she stood up straight and turned around to look at Sam. It was as if he'd felt her eyes on him, making him open them to look at her too.

"You look tired." His words were muffled slightly by the pillow. "I hope you didn't feel like you had to oblige my Mother and stay up this late?" He rolled over and sat up, freeing his arms so that he could glance at his watch.

"Do you really think I can be pushed around that easily?" Her brows raised before she disappeared into the bathroom, finishing up her night-time routine and dressing for bed before hitting the light and crawling under the sheets. By this time he'd got himself settled under the covers too.

"You know, I'll have to start hiding my shirts if you're going to keep taking them as your own." Making reference to the fact that she was draped in one of his suit shirts he smiled in the dark, not only at his own comment but also how as soon as she lay down on her side he felt her close behind him. Her hand just barely touching the skin on his back. He never mentioned it because he knew Connie and knew it was something she'd hate to have brought to light but he'd cottoned on almost immediately when she started doing this. It warmed his heart in a way but at the same time it crushed him because he recognised that it was a symptom or consequence of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It was because of Michael that she was like this. He felt slightly guilty about the whole thing because he knew what was going on but let her believe he was none the wiser. She couldn't sleep unless she was close to him but at the same time any small movement he made she'd wake instantly, almost startled. No wonder she was looking exhausted. Reaching out behind himself as he normally would, he draped his arm over her. It was the best way to _be there_ for her without smothering her. And she never protested to it.

* * *

"He was always such a playful child." Audrey spoke fondly, watching Sam and Grace joking around across the breakfast room. "I don't think he ever really grew up!" Her laugh made Connie smile. "I suspect you'll have your hands full with a Strachan male, mine were always into some sort of mischief." The words she spoke trailed off towards the end, realising what she'd just said. It was nine o'clock in the morning and most of the party guests had departed or were readying too, including herself, Sam and Grace. They were just having some breakfast before they made tracks. Audrey had once again approached Connie, wanting to make conversation with her.

"I, uh, I know about Noah." She uttered his name cautiously, not wanted to upset the older woman. "Sam told me about him, I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"He blames himself you know? Sam, I mean."

"He mentioned that too."

"He was so young and had the weight of the world on his shoulders." Her eyes welled up once more, as they had done the previous night. "I think that's where his insatiable desire to care for people comes from. Their Father wasn't around, you see." She sniffled, still watching her son and Granddaughter interacting. "He left when Sam was five and Noah was barely two weeks old." Connie's heart tightened, her memories catapulted back to when she was pregnant with Grace and almost completely shut him out. That must have been agonising for him. All he wanted to do was be there for his child the way his own Father wasn't there for him.

"Well, if it's any consolation, he's transpired to be ten times the man his Father sounds to have been."

"Try one hundred times the man his Father was." Audrey corrected lightly, attempting to lift the spirit of the conversation. "I was cruelly robbed of one of my children, Sam's my only provider of Grandchildren now and I'd very much love to be a part of this little ones life-"

"No, no of course you'll be a part of his life." Connie interrupted immediately, understanding where this conversation was headed. Audrey feared her past unpleasant behaviour towards Connie would affect her involvement with this unborn baby. "You're his Grandmother, as you are Grace's." She rubbed her upper arm soothingly, wanting her to stop crying.

"I'm sorry, I'm coming off as some crazy old bag." She laughed through her tears. "Thank you, Connie. I'm really grateful."

* * *

The car journey home was relatively silent, not uncomfortably just exhaustedly. Sam was concentrating on the road with the rain pounding down hard on the windscreen and Grace was sat in the back, her earphones occupying her ears with music, not too loudly as instructed by her Father. Between watching the road and checking on Grace in the rearview mirror, he kept stealing the odd glance at Connie too. She had an uncomfortable look on her face and she looked fatigued, her right hand resting on her bump.

"Is he kicking?"

"I don't know." She breathed. "He's doing something."

"You were moving around a lot last night, I figured he must have kept you awake."

"Sorry-"

"No, no." He corrected instantly. "I got my fair share of sleep, I'm just worried about you and how little you seem to be getting." His eyes kept flickering over to her as he continued to drive. "Why don't you try and get some sleep now? We've still got a fair way to go."

"No, I'm fine, honestly. I'll just have an early night tonight." Her free hand found it's way to the back of her neck, massaging it whilst she spoke. He didn't press her any further, instead he moved his hand over and placed it on hers. His fingers were in her grip within minutes, her head lolled to the side as she slept soundly.

Two hours later they were home, at Sam's home which now felt like her home too. The couple of hours sleep she managed to get in the car boosted her energy levels slightly and now she was making Grace a sandwich before she went around to Hugo's, Sam was dropping her off but his office phone had rang just as Grace's sandwich needed to be made. Typical. Speak of the devil, Grace's timing was impeccable. Just as the final set of crusts were cut off she heard her enter the kitchen.

"Here, you better eat it before you go-" She turned, jumping slightly seeing Sam stood before her. "God, don't do that." Smiling uneasily after recovering from the initial fright, she placed the plate down, only just noting his facial expression and colour. "What is it?" Her voice dropped in pitch dramatically, just sensing something was gravely wrong. He didn't answer, prompting her to approach him slowly. "Sam, what's happened?"

"It's kieron." He swallowed hard. "He's, uh, he's been in an accident."

 ***Thanks so much for all the reviews! I love reading them! I hope you're all still liking this! I tried to make this chapter a little lighter but still end with some sort of drama! Please, please review!***


	28. Chapter 28: Flying Solo

***Thank you so much to those of you who take the time to leave reviews, I really appreciate it and I love reading them! Also, thanks for the tips too, such as including a section from the previous chapter in _italics_ so you all know what's going on. I really appreciate your help, thank you! :) Well, enjoy and please, please review!***

 _Two hours later they were home, at Sam's home which now felt like her home too. The couple of hours sleep she managed to get in the car boosted her energy levels slightly and now she was making Grace a sandwich before she went around to Hugo's, Sam was dropping her off but his office phone had rang just as Grace's sandwich needed to be made. Typical. Speak of the devil, Grace's timing was impeccable. Just as the final set of crusts were cut off she heard her enter the kitchen._

 _"Here, you better eat it before you go-" She turned, jumping slightly seeing Sam stood before her. "God, don't do that." Smiling uneasily after recovering from the initial fright, she placed the plate down, only just noting his facial expression and colour. "What is it?" Her voice dropped in pitch dramatically, just sensing something was gravely wrong. He didn't answer, prompting her to approach him slowly. "Sam, what's happened?"_

 _"It's kieron." He swallowed hard. "He's, uh, he's been in an accident."_

* * *

He flew out to New York the following day. Kieron's girlfriend had called him in a state, he had been viciously attacked by a group of thugs and was in a critical condition.

That was over three weeks ago and Sam was still out there, hoping his son would wake from the coma he was currently in. There was serious talk of turning his life support machine off within the next week or so if there was no signs of him waking up soon. Connie understood the situation, of course she did, she'd been there herself with Grace and now poor Sam was going through it all over again with his oldest child.

It was as if she'd been catapulted back into her own being, her own wintery existence. Making her way around the ED with an unamused look on her face and a temper to go with it. With Sam gone, she felt as though she was fighting this internal battle alone once more. His supportive presence wasn't there, his warmth was gone and she felt cold. Was this how it had always felt before she let him in? If so, it felt so unfamiliar to her and she wasn't enjoying one minute of it. Her brain was scolding her though, she'd moulded herself into this cold, independent woman who needed no man to survive yet she was craving his company and aid. Why was it so wrong to need someone every so often? Especially now. She could only trace it back to the fact that every man who had entered her life had let her down and hurt her. She didn't need that, nobody did so she conditioned herself to be self-sufficient from a fairly young age. Until Sam came along, for a second time.

"I hope I don't need to remind you that you're here to oversee things and only assist verbally, Mrs Beauchamp?" Ethan's voice interrupted her deep thoughts. "In your condition, I think it's best that you only advise." He spoke over the patient, Cal looking between them anxiously. Even as a cocky individual himself, he knew his brother had just made a grave, possibly even fatal mistake.

"I'm sorry, what?" The venom in her words caused his head to jolt a little in shock.

"How about we just concentrate on the patient, Nibbles." He darted his eyes towards his brother over the patient notes he was reading, giving him a warning. "Mrs Beauchamp knows perfectly well what she is and isn't capable of." That was Cal all over, always out to play the hero. Ethan merely glared at him knowing full well he just wanted brownie points.

"Right, whatever you say, Caleb." Shaking his head irritably he headed off in search of a porter. Their patient needed to go for a CT scan. Ethan always meant well, he honestly wouldn't have said what he just had if he didn't have the patient's and Connie's best interests at heart, she was at the eight month mark in her pregnancy now and technically should've been at home resting. Upon hearing him leave, Cal glanced over at Connie, a proud smile upon his face.

"And you can wipe that smile off your face too, crawling won't gain you any advantages in here. You know that more than anybody." Giving him her famous ice cold stare, she walked around him to take Ethan's place on the other side of the bed.

"Connie." Charlie's voice drifted in through the double doors to resus, causing her to roll her eyes with a shaky exhale.

"Yes, Charlie!" she barked. "I know, no over-exerting myself. My junior staff have also _kindly_ pointed this out to me, I don't need you fathering me as well!" Her bellow silenced the room, even the patient groaned uncomfortably.

"Actually." He started, glancing down uncomfortably. "It's Grace, she's called reception twice asking for you." He watched her lean on the railing tiredly, her head hung as she exhaled heavily, slightly regretting her angry outburst.

"Right." She whispered to herself, using the bed railing to push herself away and begin walking towards Charlie. The look on her face said it all but she attempted to open her mouth to apologise regardless. Being the godfather of the ED, he knew her troubles and stopped her from talking with a mere touch. His hand sweetly rubbing her upper arm.

"It's okay." He smiled sweetly before whispering. "Take a couple of minutes, come back when you've calmed down." Only Charlie could get away with talking to her like that, anyone else and she would have jumped down their throat before they'd even finished talking.

"Gracie, what's the matter?" Her heart was readying itself to start racing upon bad news possibly coming her way, but her body relaxed as soon as she heard Grace's chirpy voice.

"Mum, I've been trying to call you all day." She explained, smiling through her words towards the end of her sentence. "But I know, you're working, it's okay."

"Sorry, Sweetheart, it's been a busy day-"

"I know, Mum. Honestly, it's okay. I understand." Connie couldn't help but smile at her daughter's grown up behaviour.

"What did you need to talk to me about?" She leant back in her office chair, finally not fretting any more.

"Hugo's asked if I want to stay at his tonight and then go to the cinema tomorrow. Can I?" Honestly, she was slightly sad. This meant she was set to be home alone and at the moment it was really bothering her.

"Of course." She greed unwillingly. "As long as Hugo's Dad is happy with that?"

"Yeah, I promise, he said it's fine and he'll drop me home tomorrow before Grandma comes over-

"What?" She interrupted and leant forward so quickly she felt her abdomen twinge slightly.

"Tomorrow, I can get dropped off before Grandma comes over." The lengthy pause prompted her to speak again."Mum? Can you still hear me?"

"Yes, yes I can hear you, sorry." She swallowed hard, becoming irate all over again. It was never mentioned that Audrey was coming over. This is precisely what she wasn't used to and quite frankly she wasn't sure she ever would get used to the thought of Audrey popping over whenever she felt like it without asking. To be fair, she _was_ still staying at Sam's house, but still it was kind of rude in Connie's book.

She finished her phone conversation with Grace and was understandably in a bad mood for the rest of the day, anyone crossing her path today was to be a dead man. Her normal working hours seemed so much longer with the extra weight on her feet, quite literally and she was exhausted. Although she'd never admit that. And now, at five o'clock in the evening, a major RTC was headed their way with multiple casualties.

"We need all hands on deck with these incoming casualties, ETA in ten minutes." Elle called out across the staff, gloving up in preparation. She glanced at Connie, understanding completely that she didn't want all these sympathetic eyes looking at her pregnancy as a disability but nevertheless she felt the need to say it. "Connie, I'm informing you in advance, one of the casualties is a three month old infant." She paused delicately. "We understand if you're-"

"If I'm what?" She snapped aggressively. "Incapable of looking past my own circumstances, therefore deeming me unfit to treat the patients at hand?" She snatched a pair of purple, latex gloves from the box, snapping them on angrily having just sanitised. "I'm fine. In fact, I'd be a lot better if people stopped badgering me about it."

"Alright, just checking." Elle smiled, trying to reaffirm she wasn't questioning her abilities at all but merely wanted to check she'd be okay in terms of emotions. It's not a nice situation for any medic to deal with but a pregnant woman? Elle couldn't even comprehend the idea if she was in Connie's shoes.

* * *

It was rough. The pale, limp body of this tiny infant had a profound affect on every single member of the team. Not just Connie. Nevertheless, she and Cal did their absolute best for the youngster but to no avail. He didn't make it. Things were only made worse by the fact that his parents, also involved in the collision, were being treated in resus too. His Father didn't make it either and his poor Mother witnessed both of their last moments on Earth right before her very eyes. It was a heartbreaking scene as Connie tried to console this distressed woman. Needless to say, her mourning could be heard from the corridors and beyond. All the while, Charlie kept a close and concerned eye on Connie. She was devastated, understandably but for more reasons than one. He rushed to close the gap between them upon seeing her quickly clutch at her bump, her posture bending over as if trying to move away from the pain.

"Alright, let's get you out of here." Having moved over to her at lighting speed, he grabbed her arm to support her.

"It's fine." She breathed through the pain in an uncontrolled manner, groaning towards the end. "It's just an empathy twinge, or something." Regardless of her breathless words, she still allowed Charlie to thoughtfully escort her from the room. In all honesty, she couldn't wait to get out of there. She felt like she was drowning in the grief. As soon as they were out in the corridor, the pain she'd experienced had started to subside thankfully.

"Perhaps you should get yourself home? You've been here all day, you must be-"

"Please." She interrupted calmly, still massaging her bump. "Don't say _exhausted_ or I might actually have to slap you." Although talking seriously, her choice of words told him she didn't really mean anything by it. Her breathing was still a little laboured, possibly due to her emotions running high in resus as well as her previous and short-laved abdominal pain. "I, uh, have some paperwork to tend to first. Then I'll call it a day." Her eyes avoided his at all cost, she was still emotional but refusing to let it show.

"Right, just you make sure you're out of here before I am. I don't want to have to drag you out myself." He smiled warmly, rubbing her arm before hitting a serious note again. "It was a tough deal in there, are you sure you're okay?"

"What have I got to be sad about, hm? That woman in there has just lost _everything_ in the space of twenty minutes." She let it be clear to him that this situation had obviously bothered her but quickly brushed it all away. "It's a cruel world, Charlie."

"I know it is." He pressed his lips together sadly, agreeing with her but also noting that she was probably referring to her own situation too. The one he was supposed to be unaware of and was doing an excellent job of ignoring so far. "We can manage in there, you get yourself home. Get some rest."

He didn't have to say anymore. He stood and watched her disappear in to her office and close the door behind herself before he headed back into resus. Not before bumping into a newly returned Anna.

"I need to speak to her, I need to apologise." She ceased speaking upon feeling Charlie's hands on both of her shoulders.

"Trust me, for _your_ benefit as well as hers, leave her well alone. It's not a good time for that." He gave her an encouraging smile before continuing on his way back to the overwhelming sadness of resus. Greg offered Anna a small smile too, he understood it'd take time, and for the moment Charlie was right. She needed to stay out of Connie's way.

* * *

It hit her like a train as soon as her office door closed. That tiny baby, robbed of his life so cruelly. It really put things into a weird kind of perspective for her. Not at all meaning that her personal struggles didn't hold any sort of value or that they could be written off because they paled in comparison to losing a child. But it really made her clutch on to the good things she had. Grace was so far into her recovery she no longer needed crutches anymore, and her unborn baby so far was healthy, another bonus. And of course, now she had Sam too. Finally, someone to share her burdens with, someone she knew inside and out and vice versa. It made her feel guilty about being angry that he'd gone away for so long, but she knew exactly what he was going through right now. Her anger slipped away faster than it ever had before. Her heart still ached for that woman in resus, she didn't even catch her name. Instead she just witnessed her lose her whole life before her. The cries and screams wouldn't stop replaying in her mind. Taking a couple of deep breaths, she lowered herself gently into her desk chair, swiping at the tears threatening to fall for this stranger. It was as if he'd heard her thoughts, she hadn't managed to completely harness her emotions when her mobile started ringing on her desk. It was an overseas number.

"Sam?" She questioned after answering her phone, even though she knew it was him.

"Connie, hi." Uttering her name in a relieved manner, he leant against the hospital room wall he was in. "I feel like I have spoken to you properly in ages, sorry."

"No." She breathed. "It's fine, I understand." She was nodding and trying to smile through her slowing tears despite the fact that he couldn't see her.

"Connie? Is everything okay?" He stood upright now, becoming alarmed. Making eye contact with Kieron he motioned silently to the door letting him know he was leaving for some privacy.

"I'm fine." She spoke shakily before taking a deep breath and leaning back in her chair. "I'm fine." Now speaking more surely, she swallowed the last of her sadness. "It's just been a long day, that's all."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive." She quickly changed the subject. "How are things over there?"

"Actually, that's why I'm calling." He grinned down the phone and she could almost feel it. "He's awake! He woke up last night." He was gushing emotionally now and it almost set her off again, feeling honest and genuine relief for him. "He's getting discharged in a couple of days and going back to his girlfriends, fittingly she's a nurse so he'll be in good hands."

"Oh my God." She breathed. "Sam, that's great news!" It made him smile noting a tone of genuinity in her voice. "Give him my best, won't you?"

"'m over the moon. I can't believe it. Of course I will." He sighed gleefully again. "He was asking about you and Gracie earlier. Said he wants to visit sometime, perhaps when he's fully recovered. I feel bad leaving so early, he only just regained consciousness." She felt awful for wanting him to come back, the way he was talking so fast and excitedly was almost like an overstimulated child. He was honestly on cloud nine and she didn't want to rain on his little parade with tales of her horrific day, aching back, sore feet and record breaking lack of sleep.

"Sam, stay as long as you need. Honestly, he's your son. We're not going anywhere over here."

"No, no I couldn't." He quickly shot the idea down. "Besides, I'll be in the way at his girlfriend's apartment, what with it being an everything-in-one-room kind of set-up. And I don't particularly fancy staying in a hotel for another week either."

"So they still don't know who attacked him?"

"No." He sighed sadly. "They don't think it was a targeted attack, more likely a spur of the moment mugging opportunity and Kieron just so happened to be the unlucky passer-by."

"God, that's vile." She whispered with closed eyes as she massaged her temple, more points to add to her list of reasons why this world is such a cruel one.

"It's the world we live in. Unfortunately, there is no other." They shared a comfortable silence for a moment or two before he broke it quietly. "I, uh, best be going. I'm moving all Kieron's stuff over to his girlfriends before I catch my flight tonight." He glanced at his watch, he kept it in UK time knowing his iPhone would switch automatically to New York time.

"Sam, don't rush back here if you're not ready to come back." She reassured, putting her own wishes aside. "Spend some time with him, you haven't seen him months."

"I've been over here for almost four weeks, you-"

"I can manage another week or so without you." She cut him off with a smile. "Don't flatter yourself, Mr Strachan." It was hard to hear but she definitely heard a quiet laugh at the latter of her sentence before he spoke up again.

"And everything is okay over there? With you? And Gracie?"

"Absolutely fine, apparently your Mother is coming over to keep us company tomorrow night." The way she spoke her words made him smile on the other end of the phone.

"Play nicely won't you?"

"Oh, I can't promise anything but I'll _try_."

"She's really excited about this baby." There was a hint of concern laced in his words.

"Oh really? I hadn't noticed." Bang. There it was, her first sarcastic comment of the conversation, a whopping five minutes into the phone call.

"Don't." He laughed. "She never got to experience her first grandchildren when they were babies." His last response saddened her slightly, this baby wasn't even her grandchild.

"God forbid the truth ever comes out then."

"It won't." He was quick to react, putting her doubts to rest but it only sparked more concern within him. "Are you sure everything is okay? Nothing's happened?"

"Yes, I'm sure. Sorry, it's been a long day." She cancelled her pity party, remembering she didn't want to dampen his high spirits.

"Long? Why?" He began questioning. "Please don't tell me you're at the hospital?"

"I had to, Sam. They needed an extra pair of hands and I was going out of my mind with boredom in your house, I _almost_ did your washing for you."

"And you think Grace gets her stubbornness from _me_?"

"Let's just call it evens and say it's a combination of both our strong-willed natures coming out in Grace."

"Fine, I think I can settle with that." He smiled as he shovelled his free hand into his trouser pocket. "I should probably go now, I'm getting looks for being on my phone."

"You never obey the rules, I keep telling you it'll get you in trouble one day."

"Right you are, as always." He smiled again, it felt nice to do that after four weeks of non-stop stress both about Kieron and being away from Connie and Grace at such a crucial time. "Oh, and before I go." He paused dramatically. "Please could you actually do my washing please? I have no clean clothes."

"I think that'll be a nice, sentimental job for your Mother tomorrow night."

After saying their goodbyes they each hung up and went about their own business. On the other side of the world, Sam stood still for a moment seriously contemplating cancelling his flight to be with Kieron but at the same time he felt like something wasn't right with Connie. Just the way she was behaving on the phone. He wasn't under the impression she was being fake but she was definitely covering something up a little too obviously. His brow furrowed as he continued to think, heading back into Kieron's room.

"You spreading the good news of my awakening?" He was sat upright in his bed, looking as chirpy as ever.

"Of course!" Sam beamed back at him. "Connie sends you her best."

"Ah, that's nice." Nodding kindly, he readjusted his position before continuing. "I bet they're missing you over there, huh?"

"Actually, that's what I was about to ask you. If you'd like, I can cancel my flight tonight and spend a couple more days here?"

"You know I would absolutely love that." Sam could sense there was a _but_ coming and he was correct. "But you should be in the UK with Grace and Connie, couldn't she like, give birth any time now?"

"Quite literally." They both shared a mutual chuckle.

"No, I'm fine, I'm on the mend. They need you back home, I'll come visit you guys. Maybe after Christmas, meet the new addition." His level-headed, selfless personality is always something that impressed Sam, he felt himself smiling on at him in awe.

"You know what? You are an absolute credit to my existence, Kieron."

"I know I am." He laughed, feeling slightly sad about Sam leaving but at the same time understanding that others were more in need of his presence at this moment in time.

* * *

Back across the world where the skies where dark and shining with stars, for Connie the act of leaving the Hospital at night had quickly become one of the most agonising moments of her day. She hated it, two times too many had Michael jumped out of the shadows at her. It had almost become an expectation now. Trying not to let it interfere with her life, she headed out to her car slowly but with a sure step. If he was out there somewhere watching on, she wanted him to be under the impression that he wasn't affecting her life at all. If only that were really the case. He hadn't been seen or heard of since the altercation in the car park that night, hopefully that's the last they'd see of him. Although she had a sneaking suspicion he wouldn't give up that easily, in fact she knew he wouldn't.

She survived getting to her car and arriving back at Sam's. That was another reassurance, he didn't know where Sam lived and was less likely to make an unexpected visit. Plus, Sam lived in a gated community, you either need a passcode to get in or for a resident to buzz you in from their house. Finally in the comfort of his home, safe and sound, she prepared herself for the long, sleepless night ahead. It didn't matter what she tried, sleeping was fast becoming the most difficult thing for her to do. Partially due to the fact that she was now in the late stages of pregnancy and was indeed extremely uncomfortable but also the horrific night terrors and flashbacks she'd experience. She could never not be reminded of those traumatic events. Not having Sam around didn't help and tonight would be no different.

Every time she managed to nod off in the big empty bed, she'd be suddenly startled by the smallest of noises. It could be anything, from someone closing a car door to a cat mewling down the steet. She felt so numb at night times now, like she wasn't alive but was far from dead. She couldn't explain it, even if she tried. The only thing that reminded her she was still living was this abdominal pain that had come back to visit at four o'clock in the morning. She shuffled around, attempting to relieve the pain by changing positions and that seemed to do the trick. The rest of her mostly sleepless night was spent trying to soothe her extremely active unborn baby, he was as restless as she was, or perhaps it was because she was feeling anxious that he was unsettled?

She shocked herself the next morning, waking up at a record breaking eleven o'clock in the morning. She sat bolt upright in a panic, she'd never slept in this late before. She really must have been exhausted. It took a couple of minutes to realise why she'd even woken up until she heard Grace's voice downstairs, there was a second voice and she could only assume it was Audrey's. Not hesitating for a second she dashed to the ensuite, quickly showering before applying her makeup, dressing and heading downstairs. They were helping themselves to lunch.

"Oh, Connie, we wondered where you were?" Audrey smiled, cutting up some sandwiches. "Would you like something to eat?"

"No, no I'm fine." She headed straight to the kettle, she could murder a cup of tea right now. It felt so nice having slept so long for a change.

"Have you eaten today? You look a little pale." She continued on with her sandwich cutting, Connie and Grace exchanging an amused glance between one another. They weren't laughing at Audrey, just at her sudden caring nature towards Connie now that she knew Sam was happy with her and she was about to be a new Grandmother again.

"Not yet, I'll make some toast in a minute." Her gaze left Gracie's face and landed upon Audrey's lunch. "Ham really isn't doing anything for me at the moment." The disgusted look on her face made Audrey's eyes light up in realisation.

"Oh right, I see. It's a strange thing isn't it, pregnancy?" She smiled sweetly before taking a bite out of her sandwich. "Sorry, I can't remember if I even mentioned I was popping in today?"

"No, you didn't." She spoke that sentence as politely as she could, rubbing her bump again as it ached. "Gracie mentioned it yesterday."

"Yes, Sam said he was coming home tonight-"

"Oh no, Audrey, I spoke to him yesterday afternoon. I think he's staying a little longer, spending some time with Kieron."

"Yes, he was _going_ to but Kieron talked some sense into him. He called this morning, he's on his way home now. He said he tried calling you but there was no answer?" Connie smiled, an absolute utter wave of relief washing over her. He was coming home.

"Ah, my mistake." She hissed. "My phone died last night." Suddenly remembering this, she moved over to her bag, fished it out and put it on charge before her baby brain kicked in and she forgot again. "So, Gracie, your Dad's coming home tonight." Her face lit up as she turned to look at Grace. "And let me guess, you won't be able to spend any time with him because you haven't done your homework." The words were sang in a joking manner, causing Grace to smile wide.

"I'll go and do it now, on the condition that we go out for ice cream after tea. All of us, together."

"That's a promise, young lady." She laughed at how fast she scoffed down the last of her sandwich and disappeared upstairs.

"She's so happy, I can't get over it. She's like a different person." Audrey stared off at the stairs whilst she spoke, she seemed almost sad in a way.

"Is everything okay, Audrey?" She was still getting used to this _being friendly towards one another_ situation, but so far she was doing quite well.

"Yes. It's perfect." She smiled. "Anyway, never mind me, what about you!" She stood up after finished her lunch too, placing her plate in the sink. "I'm here to help you. I'm at your disposal today, anything that needs doing, I'm here to do it."

"Your son kindly requested I wash his clothes, so I guess I'll make a start there-" She took a sip from her cup upon being interrupted.

"Don't be silly, you take it easy, sit yourself down. I'll deal with all of that." The older woman edged around her, heading towards Sam's cupboard under the stairs and pulling out his clothes maids. Connie being Connie, didn't want to sit and do nothing so she moved into the utility room across from the kitchen and started loading the washing machine. Admittedly, it was a struggle bending down in her state but she managed for the most part until that unfriendly pain made another unexpected and unwelcome visit.

"Ah!" She groaned and hissed through her teeth, her brow furrowed deeply as she clutched at her bump. That really wasn't a nice experience. It was, however, a familiar one. She just hoped to God she was wrong.

"Connie!" Audrey gasped upon entering the room after hearing her pain-filled groan. "Come on, let's get you sat down, stop pushing yourself." She tutted in a concerned way, offering to aid her to the living room but thankfully the pain had melted away. Still breathless, she stood up straight again, no longer doubled over in agony. "Here, sit down and take it slowly." They'd headed into the living room, Audrey helping her lower down on to the settee. "I'll go and make you something to eat, perhaps you take things slowly today."

"Thank you." That was all she could mange through her still puffed breaths, her hands massaging both sides of her bump now. It was the intense sharpness of the pain that knocked her so badly this time. She took a few minutes whilst Audrey was gone to do some deep breathing, finally feeling back to normal when she returned with some toast.

"Eat this and put your feet up, I'll be floating around doing some housework if you need anything, okay?" Not wanting to crowd her she offered her help if it was needed and left her to have some peace and quiet.

* * *

It had happened again, she'd fallen asleep. This time on the settee Audrey had left her on. She had no idea how long she'd been asleep for, she just knew she'd awoken a couple of times during her lengthy power nap experiencing the same pain again. These ones weren't as bad, more like twinges but nevertheless they still stirred her from her sleep. She felt rotten now, that awful feeling of sleeping on the settee during the day was lingering over her. Sitting up slowly, she stretched her arms out delicately, noticing it was indeed dark outside now. She'd slept all day. Smoothing her hand over her bump she rolled her neck trying to stretch some knots out. She could hear Grace approaching the living room, opening the door quietly as she whispered in.

"Mum, are you awake?"

"Only just." She smiled through the dark and stood up gingerly, not wanting to encourage any more of those ghastly pains to make another appearance.

"Grandma's making tea, she asked if you wanted some and then she said you have to have some." Grace's cute little face scrunched up as she spoke. "She'll get mad if you don't, you know?"

"Well, I'd better lead by example and do as I'm told then hadn't I?" She still had her right hand on her bump, the other one wrapping around Grace's shoulders and pulling her close into her left side.

"Mum?" Her voice was now a little more serious. "When the baby's born, you won't stop paying attention to me, will you?"

"Of course not! What on Earth makes you think that'll happen?" She spoke lovingly, stopping still in the light of the doorway to look down at her blossoming daughter.

"I don't know." She looked down shyly with a shrug.

"Don't you worry about that. It'll never happen, okay?" She squeezed her tight, bending over as best she could to kiss her on top of her head. "You'll have to tiptoe, Gracie." Whispering with a smile, Grace laughed too before tiptoeing until her head grazed up against her Mother's lips. "I love you and I promise, I won't let anything get in the way of us again."

"Love you too, Mum." She smiled and they continued out of the room, Grace stopping suddenly upon realising Connie had halted in her tracks. A pained look on her face as she experienced yet another twinge.

"Ooh." She breathed out, turning it into a small laugh to save Grace worrying like she knew she would. "You go and start eating, I'm just going to grab the heat pack from upstairs. My back is killing me." She smiled reassuringly as Grace nodded, a slight look of uncertainty on her face. Nevertheless she headed into the kitchen, allowing Connie to make her way upstairs in search of this much needed heat-pack. The positioning of her baby was partly to blame, they were back to back as opposed to his front facing her back and it was agony.

* * *

He made a grand entrance as he always did, busting the door open and dropping his case loudly before calling out.

"I'm home!"

"Dad!" Grace yelled at the table upon hearing his voice, Audrey smiled at the ecstatic look on her face. She knew they'd only just sit down and he'd show up more or less as they were about to eat, at least he could join them now. He was probably starving. Grace quickly headed through the hall and into his arms, she'd missed him so much.

"Hey! Gracie!" He beamed, almost as excitedly. "Look at you running around!"

"Nice flight, darling?" Audrey appeared from the kitchen, asking thoughtfully yet not wanting to interrupt the Father-Daughter reunion before her.

"As nice as flights can be, I guess." He smiled. "Kieron says _hello_ and guess what?" He questioned, not waiting for a response before blurting the answer out cheerily. "He'll see us all at Christmas!"

"He's coming to visit?!" Grace responded excitedly, her face lighting up and matching Audrey's.

"He sure is, him and his girlfriend Christina." He grinned between them before his brows knitted together following a short silence. "Where's Connie?"

"She went upstairs to get a heat-pack for her back." Grace replied nonchalantly as Sam and Audrey shared a worried glance. "I'll go and plate you up some spaghetti, Grandma just made it." She grinned before making her way back into the kitchen. They waited for her to disappear completely before talking.

"Is she okay?" He motioned up the stairs, grabbing his case and getting ready to head up there.

"She's slept all day, she had a bit of a twinge this morning. She hasn't eaten much though." She folded her lips together. "The spaghetti's still warm, I'll dish her up a plate too. I'll let you go and say hello first." She leant in and kissed him on the cheek, rubbing his upper arm before she too followed Grace's lead and rejoined her in the kitchen.

Sam took the stairs two at a time, which was incredibly hard with a heavy case but he was just eager to get up there as fast as possible. He entered the room quietly, not knowing if she was asleep or not, he guessed not since his Mother said she'd slept all day but still he didn't want to disturb her if she had dozed off again. Thankfully, she hadn't. She was in the ensuite staring into the inside of the medicine cabinet. Placing his case by the dresser, he headed in there, making enough noise so as not to startle her.

"Surprise." He spoke quietly, standing right behind her, his front quickly pressed up against her back as he ran his hands down her hips. She didn't even jump, she'd heard him come in and immediately stopped searching the cabinet with her eyes, letting her head fall back on to his chest to the right of his chin. Melting into his grip, she felt his lips on the side of her head just above her left ear.

"You've got good timing." She spoke lazily, her eyes closing.

"My whole flight and journey home was based around making it home for tea." He laughed, but his smile soon faded when she leant forward and away from him, breathing heavily.

"No." She panted, licking her upper lip as her head hung low. Her hands now reaching out for the sink to steady herself. "I'm in labour, Sam."

 ***Thank you all so much for reading! And thank you for being patient too! I hope you enjoyed this, and I hope it's not becoming boring! Please, please review and let me know what you think!***


	29. Chapter 29: It's Time

***This was absolutely terrifying to write, I know NOTHING about childbirth or anything like that so please don't be surprised if I've made any mistakes in this chapter! Thank you all so much for the lovely reviews, I'm hoping to extend this fic after that gripping Autumn trailer! I had initially planned to finish off with the baby being born and tying up some loose ends before hitting you all with the 'They lived happily ever after' line but not anymore. Those of you who review, please know that the only reason I ever continued this far, aside from my love for writing, is because of you. So, thank you and enjoy!***

 _Sam took the stairs two at a time, which was incredibly hard with a heavy case but he was just eager to get up there as fast as possible. He entered the room quietly, not knowing if she was asleep or not, he guessed not since his Mother said she'd slept all day but still he didn't want to disturb her if she had dozed off again. Thankfully, she hadn't. She was in the ensuite staring into the inside of the medicine cabinet. Placing his case by the dresser, he headed in there, making enough noise so as not to startle her._

 _"Surprise." He spoke quietly, standing right behind her, his front quickly pressed up against her back as he ran his hands down her hips. She didn't even jump, she'd heard him come in and immediately stopped searching the cabinet with her eyes, letting her head fall back on to his chest to the right of his chin. Melting into his grip, she felt his lips on the side of her head just above her left ear._

 _"You've got good timing." She spoke lazily, her eyes closing._

 _"My whole flight and journey home was based around making it home for tea." He laughed, but his smile soon faded when she leant forward and away from him, breathing heavily._

 _"No." She panted, licking her upper lip as her head hung low. Her hands now reaching out for the sink to steady herself. "I'm in labour, Sam."_

* * *

"What?" He looked down at her back in a puzzled fashion as she continued to hold herself steady on the sink, her breath quickening. "But you're not due for anoth-"

"Four weeks, I know." She snapped in between struggling to control her breathing, her body adjusting slowly to what was happening. "I think I know what I'm feeling, Sam." Her sentence was stressed and finalised with a groan of discomfort. "Sorry." She whispered quietly but it was spoken genuinely, he didn't want to question her any further.

"Right, let's get you to hospital then, do you have a bag or anything packed?" He quickly jumped into action, supporting her arm and attempting to help her back through to the bedroom. Her contraction had passed now but she was still catching her breath.

"No, there's no point." Licking her upper lip, she rested her right hand on the side of her bump as if trying to soothe herself and the baby. Walking slowly out of his supportive grip, she perched herself delicately on the end of the bed and looked at him for the first time since he'd got back. "I actually missed you." She smiled embarrassedly at her own confession but he was still serious.

"No point?" He laughed with confusion. "Connie, you're in labour, and prematurely too. We need to get you to hospital, I mean I'm a medic but childbirth is definitely not my strong point. "

"My water hasn't even broken yet and my contractions aren't consistent, they'll turn me away. I'd rather stay here until as late as possible." He just stared at her, his thoughts racing internally.

"Okay, fine. But as soon as your waters break, we're heading in. No arguments."

"Fine." Her hushed voice was small, fragile almost, causing him to crouch down before her.

"I missed you too." He looked confused. "It kind of shocked me if I'm being honest." His laugh was small but made her smile nonetheless. Resting his hand on her knee, he tried to get a look at her face but she was looking anywhere but at him. "Is there anything you need? Anything I can get you?"

"That heat pack would be good." She breathed. "I couldn't find it, my back is in agony."

With a swift nod, he stood himself back up and headed straight for the door. The heat pack was usually kept in the medicinal cupboard in his kitchen, along with plasters, bandages, tablets and the likes. As soon as he hit the last couple of steps he could hear Grace and his Mother enjoying their tea, he wasn't sure if he should break the news now or not but it seemed silly not to, they'd find out soon anyway as he knew giving birth wasn't exactly a quiet act. He opened the door quietly, smiling at the pair as he headed straight for the cupboard he needed.

"Connie's asleep again?" Audrey asked in disbelief. "She must be exhausted."

"Her pasta's gone cold, maybe you should wake her up dad?" Grace quickly added, watching her Father raid the medicine cupboard.

"Uh, no." He started, his voice muffled by his noisy movements, finally finding the pack he stood up straight and turned to look at them. Speaking more audibly this time. "Actually, she's in labour."

"What?!" Audrey's fork dropped, hitting her plate dramatically as she stood up. Sam was forced to hold his hands up immediately.

"It's fine, she's fine." He uttered quickly and glanced at Grace's worried face. "I'm not sure when her contractions started, she's going to stay here until they're more consistent, then we'll go to hospital."

"This morning." His Mother gasped. "That was a contraction this morning and I just left her sat on the settee!"

"Mum, it's fine." He placed his hands on her upper arms calmly. "You didn't know, nor did Connie. We know now and it's _fine._ " He couldn't tell if this little speech was purely for his Mother or for himself as well. "I'll stay up there with her, we probably shouldn't crowd her though. She's never been one to take that well."

"No, no of course not." Her hand was on her chest, mimicking the look of someone who had just been given shocking news, which she had. "Does she need anything? Water? Towels?"

"I think we've got everything we need for now." He smiled nervously. "But it _is_ only temporary, until we're ready to go and have her admitted." Reassuring her, he yet again didn't know if it was her he was reassuring or himself. There was no way in hell he could confidently deliver a baby on his own, especially not with any of the right tools or equipment.

"Right, okay, well we'll be down here if you need anything." Her voice was shaking, partially with excitement and partially with nerves. The baby was early, she just hoped things would go smoothly.

"Can I go and see her quickly?" Grace asked quietly, a look of sadness upon her face.

"Of course you can." He smiled. "Here, you take her up some water whilst I microwave this heat pack, tell her I'm on my way up." She obliged, taking the glass of cool water from his hands before heading up the stairs.

In all honesty, she was slightly nervous to go into the room. Her Mother was a figure of pure strength in her life and seeing her in such a vulnerable position was an awful thought to Grace. She wasn't sure of she wanted to witness her in that kind of situation, it scared her.

"Mum?" She opened the door cautiously, scared of what'd she be greeted with. It wasn't grizzly like she thought it would be. She was stood, leaning over the edge of the bed at an angle, supporting herself with her hands placed in the cream duvet.

"Gracie." She whispered, looking at her tiredly. "It's okay, I'm fine." Breathing her words softly, she noticed the nervous look on Grace's face, her frame frozen in the doorway.

"How long until the baby's born?" Approaching her Mother slowly, she asked as she handed her the glass. Connie had to stand up straight in order to grab the water, her previous position was easing her back pain but she wanted to comfort Grace more than herself.

"I don't know." She smiled tiredly, sipping the water and turning to perch herself on the end of the bed again, Grace followed her lead and sat next to her. "Maybe tonight, could even be tomorrow. Who knows."

"Tomorrow? But Dad said you're in labour now." Her eyes glanced down to the bump underneath Connie's shirt, her face full of concern.

"I am." She had another mouthful of water. "It's different each time, it takes longer for some babies than others."

"What about me?" Looking up at her there was a look of intrigue on her face, making Connie smile.

"You?" She laughed a little. "You were in the biggest hurry, I almost had you on the floor in theatre."

"And I was early, wasn't I?" She smiled through her words.

"Seven weeks early, you were so small." She measured out the size with her hands, trying to show Grace just how tiny she was.

"This baby is only four weeks early, so he'll be bigger and stronger. He'll be okay, won't he?"

"If he's anything like his big sister, he'll soldier on through anything." Smiling affectionately, she pulled Grace close, kissing the top of her head before the sweet moment was interrupted yet again by her body contracting intensely just as Sam re-entered the room, heat pack at the ready. "Ah!" She groaned out in discomfort, her face contorting in an attempt to deal with the agonising pain as she doubled over.

"Mum!" Grace jumped up out of the way, alarmed at her Mother's sudden outburst.

"It's okay, Gracie." Sam cooed, standing in front of where she'd previously sat as he leant over Connie, placing the pack on her lower back. "There?"

"Lower." She breathed, the searing pain fading as she tried to find her breath again.

"They're getting closer together." He moved to crouch in front of her again whilst he spoke. "Can you remember when they started?"

"Yesterday-"

"Yesterday?!" His head jolted forward in disbelief, cutting her sentence short.

"I thought they were just twinges." She breathed shakily, that last one was agonising, her lower back felt like it had been stomped on by an elephant. Becoming uneasy with the pain, she stood up quickly, her right hand moving to her lower back and holding the heat pack in place. Breathing faster, she groaned and closed her eyes, resuming her previous position of resting her hands on the end of the bed allowing her upper body to take some of the weight as opposed to her lower body and back having to carry it all. Sam quickly dropped his thoughts upon seeing her becoming more distressed.

"Maybe you should go downstairs, Gracie?" He looked at her lovingly, as he could do nothing more than rub Connie's back for the moment. He didn't want Grace seeing her Mother like this either. "Sit with Grandma, I think she said she was going to put a DVD on, probably a good idea if you help her. You know what she's like." He smiled and watched her nod worriedly before she disappeared. He could tell she felt conflicted, she wanted to stay but at the same didn't want to witness this. He understood though, as did Connie.

"Oh, God." She mewled as it finally passed, her knees buckling slightly due to the pain. Removing one hand from the bed she rubbed her abdomen with it softly, panting through her pain.

"Maybe you should change into something less constricting?" He allowed his mind to work it's magic and think ahead, he felt like things were moving incredibly fast, now knowing her contractions began yesterday, he forced himself to accept that perhaps this baby wasn't going to wait for them to get to a hospital. He stopped rubbing her back, drawing a dissatisfied whimper from her as it was actually helping. "Here." Grabbing one of his shirts, he lay it on he bed beside her. "Put this on, I don't think we're going to get to a hospital."

"I know." She kept her eyes closed, her body swaying slightly as if trying to move the pain away. Standing herself up as straight as she could, he helped her remove her shirt and put his on. It looked like a dress on her but that was the point. So she could remove her trousers but still feel concealed and comfortable. The underwear could stay on until things got really close. She looked and felt one hundred times comfier now, it helped that her contraction had passed. She seated herself on the end of the bed yet again, fatigue washing over her already and they were only just getting started.

"I'm going to call Charlie, I might need some help over the phone." He waited for her to object but she was in no mood to argue, she merely nodded and looked down. He was crouched before her again, his right hand holding his mobile up to his ear and his left one rubbing her her leg comfortingly.

"Charlie, it's Sam." He spoke with purpose, she could feel he was nervous. Only hearing one side of the conversation, she just concentrated on his voice, anything to distract her mind from the pain she was about to endure. "Yeah, yeah I'm back." He smiled but a look of impatience graced his face, the older man was obviously talking on the other end. "Everything is fine, he's recovering and doing well, thanks for asking." Talking quickly, he kept his hand movements on her leg consistent and weirdly it was comforting to her. "Listen, I'm calling for some advice actually. Yeah, it's Connie, she's in labour." There was silence as Charlie spoke again. "I don't know, she said they started yesterday. They're getting closer together and lasting longer-" More silence. "No, her waters are still intact." He breathed hard, the conversation starting to freak him out a tad. "Dilated? Uh, I don't know I haven't checked?" His face scrunched up and he looked at Connie whose breathing began to quicken again, her hand found his on her leg and gripped it with a strength he didn't know she had. "Hold on, Charlie!" He left the call going but dropped his phone to concentrate on Connie.

"Ah!" Her jaw clenched hard, as a throaty moan was let out. She let it last for maybe five seconds before ceasing the sound and hissing through her teeth. Her brow was furrowed hard, sweat beginning to bead on her furrowed brow.

"That's it, just breathe through it." He offered pointless words of encouragement he was sure she'd get angry about but did it regardless, squeezing her hand back to let her know he was still there and wasn't going anywhere. "Keep squeezing my hand, as hard as you want."

"Oh God!" She growled, her teeth clenched together, one hand gripping on to Sam's hand with a hulk-like grip and the other one placed behind herself on the bed trying to support some of her weight. Her head was tucked low to her chest for the duration of the painful contraction. Each one was getting worse. The grip she had on his hand lessened as the contraction started to fade, her jaw finally relaxing upon her deep exhalation that was followed by a series of short and breathless pants. He felt so helpless just watching on as her brow relaxed too, her head lifting whilst she stretched out her aching back. Her face wasn't as pained as it was before, still there was a look of discomfort in her expression though.

"That was a bad one." He didn't even have to ask, he merely stated it but she didn't respond verbally. A small nod confirmed his statement. Letting go of his hand, she moved it back to hold the heat pack up against her lower back again, allowing him to grab his phone again. "Charlie?" His eyes moved across her body as the veteran nurse spoke into his ear. "Yeah, that was another one." After a couple of pointless nods at Charlie's instructions he spoke again. "Thank you, Charlie, and if we need you, you're available?" There was a short silence. "Oh, perfect! Charlie you're a saint. Thank you." He gushed gratefully before hanging up and returning his focus back to Connie.

"I don't need anyone else here." She spoke the tired words slightly breathlessly.

"If it's not Charlie and Duffy then it's an ambulance, Connie." He answered her firmly. "If we run into problems, I need to know there's someone here that knows one hundred percent what they're doing, because I don't, not completely."

"No, no ambulance." She groaned as she repositioned herself. He'd got to his feet at this point, once again jumping into action.

"Right, well that's settled then. Charlie and Duffy are coming if we run into problems, they're on standby."

"Uh, I don't care as long as I'm not in that hospital." She panted uncomfortably, her eyebrows knitting together with the discomfort as she sat forward a little. He ignored her last sentence. He _knew_ there was something underlying with this whole situation. She just didn't want to be somewhere Michael could possibly pop up unannounced. It was so obvious to him now. He couldn't really blame her but at the same time, he didn't want her anxieties to jeopardise her or the baby's welfare. His sad gaze was fixed upon her uncomfortable body before he shook his thought back to the moment.

"Right, clean towels, blankets, scissors, something to sterilise with." Muttering Charlie's list of items to himself he rummaged through the ensuite cupboards and collected a bundle of clean white towels. Setting them down on the floor near her feet he once again crouched before her. "I need to go and get some things from downstairs, just keep doing what you're doing, okay?" He nodded with her, making sure she was okay before he made a dash for the stairs again. He raced down them so fast, his Mother was instantly alarmed and appeared in the kitchen doorway seconds after he'd entered the room, rifling through his cutlery drawer.

"Is everything okay up there?"

"Yeah, fine. Where are the scissors?" Not even listening to a word she'd just said he could feel himself getting frustrated upon not being able to find what he was looking for.

"They're on the drainer, I used them to cut up the bacon earlier-" Her words were drowned out by the loud crashing of pans as he more or less threw everything out of his way to get to the scissors. "Hey, what on Earth is going on?"

"I need blankets, can you fine me some? Look in the cupboard under the stairs-"

"Sam-"

"Mum, please?!" His loud voice made her jump and instantly made him feel bad. "Sorry, I'm just-" Rubbing his free hand over his five o'clock shadow and chin he exhaled in order to calm himself before speaking in a more collected manner. "Things are moving pretty quickly, she's going to have to deliver here." He knew she was about to speak but he quickly jumped in again and spoke loudly to let her know not to interrupt him. "So I just need you to _please_ co-operate and find me some blankets and something to sterilise my hands and these with." He held the scissors up and edged quickly around the island counter in the kitchen upon hearing Connie's pain-filled groan from upstairs. "As quick as you can and bring them upstairs." The last of his sentence was yelled from the staircase as he quickly hit them two at a time again. Re-entering the room he rolled his sleeves up in a rushed manner as soon as he saw her gently lowering herself down from the end of the bed to the floor. "Wait, here let me put this underneath you." He grabbed a towel, feeling bad as she tried to hold herself up in an awkward position until he'd laid some out for her to sit on.

"Ah!" She whimpered. "Oh my god!" Squeezing her eyes closed tightly, she once again clenched her jaw so hard she gave herself an instant headache, but that was nothing compared to the pain of these contractions. Her groan lasted even longer with this one, her head tucked tightly to her chest again. The hair framing her face was sticking to her glistening face as the sweat continued to bead on her skin. His hand was in her grip once more, his fingers turning purple on the ends as she squeezed for dear life.

"Here." Audrey barged into the room in a hurry, half a bottle of vodka in her hand and a couple of blankets under her arm. "What do you want me to do?" She placed the things he'd requested by his side. He was kneeled in front of Connie, who was now settled on atop the white, fluffy towels on the floor. Her legs parted and knees raised at the ready. She was breathing heavily, Audrey figured another contraction must have just passed.

"Nothing, that's all I needed thanks." He quickly opened the vodka after Connie loosened her grip on his hand and let go of him. He hurriedly poured the fluid over his hands and the scissors to sterilise everything. Audrey couldn't help but look at Connie empathetically but Sam's voice regained her attention. "Maybe you should give her some space, Mum. Keep an eye on Gracie for us?"

"Of course." She nodded but couldn't refrain herself, quickly moving to the head of the bed she grabbed as many pillows as she could and put them within Sam's reach. "Put those behind her back, she's too vertical. It's probably unbelievably uncomfortable for her." She briefly made eye contact with Connie who was nodding profusely and already trying to move herself in order for the pillows to be placed behind her and allow her to be in more of a laying back position. "There, see. Move her forward and stick those behind her."

"Right, sorry." He looked Connie apologetically and did as his Mother said.

"Thank you." She breathed exhaustedly, her hand brushing his arm softly. How insane, she was in labour, in God only knows how much pain and she was trying to comfort him.

"I'll get out of the way, shout me if you need anything at all." Trying to respect her privacy, Audrey had helped her fair share and left them to it. As much as she wanted to witness the birth of her grandson, she didn't want to do anything to cause Connie any distress and complicate the situation.

"We still need to check how dilated you are, I can do it or you can if you'd prefer?"

"It's fine, I can do it." She spoke lazily through shallow breaths. He didn't argue, instead he grabbed the bigger of the two blankets his Mother had brought up and draped it over her raised and parted knees before him, offering her even more privacy. He did however help her remove her underwear, as that was bound to be a struggle. Obviously feeling they were dry, he could only assume her waters still hadn't broken. Reaching her own hand between her legs she checked how dilated she was, whilst he removed his watch and rolled his sleeves up even more before pouring vodka over his hands and arms again just to be sure. His attention was snatched to the floor upon feeling fluid under his knees, it took him a moment to realise he hadn't actually spilled the vodka as he'd initially thought.

"My waters just broke." Her brows pulled together in a pained expression as she removed her hand from under the blanket. "I'm only six centimetres." Her voice was quivering, obviously frustrated that she had more of this to endure before it was over. Grace's birth was so quick and rushed she didn't really experience the true length of a regular labour. It had been hours already and she was looking at even more. Sam was shocked to find out she was only six centimetres dilated, they had _plenty_ of time to get to a hospital but obviously that's not what she wanted. Not wanting to further distress her, he decided to let it slide. He'd do as Charlie said and if need be, he'd call them back and they could be over here to help in less that ten minutes which was a huge comfort to him. Now he just had to concentrate on keeping Connie relaxed and comfortable.

"How are the contractions?" He asked gingerly, noting the uncomfortable expression on her face.

"How do you think?" She growled in response, arching her back. "They're not even separate anymore, they feel like they're all joined together." She closed her eyes, letting her head fall back on the the pillows piled up behind her as she tried to rub her lower back underneath herself. "I need to stand up and move, or something." Panting the last of her sentence she placed her hands on the floor either side of where she sat ready to push herself up. He automatically moved forward to help, standing with her. Still not wanting to crowd her, he let her get to her feet properly before allowing her to move to where she wanted to. She went back to her previous position of leaning over the end of the bed, placing her hands on the mattress resting on them to ease her lower back pain. Trying to offer at least some sort of physical support he began to rub her lower back, drawing a moan from her, this time not one of pain but one of relief. Her head hung low, the feeling was nice but short-lived as yet another contraction hit her like a train. He was starting to feel more and more useless.

The next two hours seemed to be the same ten minutes repeated over and over and over again. Only now the gaps between her excruciating groans were becoming shorter and her pain-filled mewls were lasting longer. She was becoming more oblivious to her surroundings and more focussed on managing her pain, allowing him to keep tabs on her dilation. The last time he checked, she was nine centimetres, it was only a matter of time before she could start pushing and honestly, he was petrified. He could only imagine how scared she was.

"I need to push, Sam!" Her head flew up quickly as she cried out, she'd remained on her feet for as long as possible before swaying and Sam's back massaging was no longer having an effect, returning to the laid out towels and padded pillow back support she was once again laying back on the bed pillows, Sam kneeling before her raised an parted knees at the ready.

"Not yet." He warned as calmly as he could but he'd honestly never seen her like this before, it was painful, especially knowing there was nothing he could to to relieve the pain for her. He lifted the blanket slightly that was draped over her legs and reached his hand in gently, checking to see how dilated she was. He breathed heavily upon completing the check. "Okay, you're ten centimetres. Let's go." He gushed nervously. "Push." Folding the blanket back a bit so that he could see more efficiently, he rested his right hand on her left raised knee, the other one cupping her right calf. He didn't have to tell her twice. Before he'd even completed his sentence, she let out an almighty groan. Sitting herself up a little more, she tucked her chin down to her chest, her hands placed on either side of where she sat as she lifted herself up a fraction.

"Ahhhhh!" She called out, hissing through her teeth after finalising her first ten second push.

"That's it, you're doing great-"

"This isn't some amateur photo-shoot!" She snapped aggressively at his soothing words through extremely laboured breaths. He didn't even get chance to respond before she cried out again. Her jaw clenching as she moaned in her throat, her chin pulling down towards her chest again.

"Keep pushing, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten." Counting her through it, his right hand remained on her left knee as his left hand moved in to help him see if he could see anything. As soon as he reached ten she exhaled exhaustedly, falling back a fraction after holding herself up for the last two contractions.

"He's crowning." She whispered breathlessly, her right hand rubbing the side of her right thigh soothingly as her left hand pushed the now damp hair from out of her face. She was knackered.

"Yeah, I can see the top of his head. Two more pushes and his head'll be out, okay?" He glanced up at her, a slight smile on his face at the pure amazement of what he was witnessing. She nodded in response, her breath quickening once again as he her head raised, ready to tuck to her chest as she bore down again.

The sound of her crying out in agony was extremely uncomfortable for him, Audrey and Grace could hear it downstairs too. Their concern invited them to head upstairs and wait outside the room, partially because Audrey feared they'd run into problems and need an extra pair of helping hands. Her fears were confirmed by Connie's next series of tormented growls. Grace looked at her Grandmother nervously, she merely smiled at her to offer come form of comfort. She could hear Sam talking over her whimpers.

"That's it!" He practically cheered. "You did it, his head is out." His smile was a picture, although she was in too much pain to pay attention to it properly right now. Continuing to pant exasperatedly she lay her head back to rest for a second before the next contraction ripped through her. Sam moved his concentration back to the baby's head as he supported it with both hands, his look of awe was short-lived as her body shifted with discomfort, forcing him to glance at her face for an indication of when she was about to start pushing again. Her vocals sounded different this time though and it alarmed him, not to mention Audrey on the other side of the door.

"No, no, no!" She sat up, using her left hand to push herself up and support herself as her right one automatically went straight to where was experiencing pain. "Ah! Stop!" She panted in a distressed manner, her face displaying the level of agitation she was feeling.

"It's okay, his head is out-"

"No!" She interrupted, panic consuming her. "Something's not right!" She cried out, not knowing what to do as another contraction started to wave over her. Now Sam was panicking too, throwing the blanket off of her legs altogether with one hand, he kept the other one supporting the baby's small head. His heart skipping a beat at what he saw.

"I think his shoulders are stuck." He tried to keep his voice calm but using both hands to feel around the baby's head and neck he could clearly feel the umbilical chord wrapped around his little neck dangerously tight. "This isn't going to feel very nice but with the next contraction I'm going to pull and move him a little bit, okay?"

"Don't tell me, just do it!" She demanded through panted breaths, which soon turned into strained whimpers before progressing into full-blown cries of trauma. He did as he said he would, in conjunction with her contraction at it's peak he pulled gently at the baby's head, twisting him either way as if trying to ease him out. The noise Connie made let him know he was causing her some level of discomfort.

"Don't stop, Connie." He coached. "Keep pushing, you're almost there, just one more and it's over." He'd be surprised if she could hear him over her distressed and laboured panting but her final groan told him she was pushing with all she had left. She completed the final push with an anguished yet relief-filled grizzle. Her body almost instantly relaxing as she felt Sam pull again gently. "That's it! You did it, he's out!" He enthused breathlessly, overwhelmed with emotion, a tiny baby boy in his hands. Still holding him between her legs he quickly pulled the chord from around his neck and wrapped him in one of the spare clean towels. He was starting to sweat upon getting no grumbles or movement from him yet. The euphoric feeling of him finally being out wore off quickly for Connie, her body was limp against all the pillows behind her. The exhaustion hit her hard but she had enough strength to raise her head and look down over her body between her still raised knees, her tiny baby laying lifelessly between herself and Sam as he rubbed violently on his little chest, attempting to startle him into crying

But nothing, the room was deathly silent besides Sam's frantic movements and Connie's still laboured breathing.

"Sam, what's wrong him?" She whimpered, and sat up slowly. Already in a an emotional state, fear and worry overcame her whole being as her eyes filled up. "Why isn't he crying?"

 ***Thanks for reading, I hope this was okay! And not too rushed? I hope you enjoyed and please leave reviews!***


	30. Chapter 30: Bated Breath

***I still can't believe people are enjoying my writing, it's so weird to me! Thank you all so much, I appreciate all of your feedback/reviews/tweets so, so much! I hope you all enjoy this next chapter, please review!***

 _"Don't stop, Connie." He coached. "Keep pushing, you're almost there, just one more and it's over." He'd be surprised if she could hear him over her distressed and laboured panting but her final groan told him she was pushing with all she had left. She completed the final push with an anguished yet relief-filled grizzle. Her body almost instantly relaxing as she felt Sam pull again gently. "That's it! You did it, he's out!" He enthused breathlessly, overwhelmed with emotion, a tiny baby boy in his hands. Still holding him between her legs he quickly pulled the chord from around his neck and wrapped him in one of the spare clean towels. He was starting to sweat upon getting no grumbles or movement from him yet. The euphoric feeling of him finally being out wore off quickly for Connie, her body was limp against all the pillows behind her. The exhaustion hit her hard but she had enough strength to raise her head and look down over her body between her still raised knees, her tiny baby laying lifelessly between herself and Sam as he rubbed violently on his little chest, attempting to startle him into crying_

 _But nothing, the room was deathly silent besides Sam's frantic movements and Connie's still laboured breathing._

 _"Sam, what's wrong him?" She whimpered, and sat up slowly. Already in a an emotional state, fear and worry overcame her whole being as her eyes filled up. "Why isn't he crying?"_

* * *

This harrowing silence in the room was even more painful than hearing Connie's agonising groans only moments earlier. Her breathing quickened again as she watched on helplessly. Sam was beginning to worry too but tried to conceal it, this tiny baby was pale to the eye and limp with no sign of breathing.

"Come on, don't do this to me." He whispered shakily, still rubbing firmly on his chest. He felt as though his emotional connection to this situation was affecting his performance. Swallowing hard, he forced his brain to switch off from the emotional side and turn on to the practical side. He picked him up gently, now doing the same rubbing action on his back.

On the other side of the door, Audrey was worrying too. It had been silent for far too long, even Grace felt uneasy. Technically she should have been in bed hours ago, it was close to three o'clock in the morning. They remained sat, patiently and full of concern.

"Sam." Connie whispered his name pleadingly, her eyes welled up even more as she watched on sadly. Before he could respond, the small infant surprised them both and choked out his first cry, slowly at first before it turned into a full-blown newborn wail. He never thought he'd be so relieved to hear that sound in his life but the relief was literally visible on both of their faces.

"You gave us all a fright." He murmured softly to the loud little bundle of life before him. Still shaking from the adrenaline rush, he set him down to cut the chord as Connie near enough collapsed back on to the pillows with pure solace. He was okay. "Open your shirt a little bit, Duffy said skin to skin contact'll be the best thing for him." He sniffed, suddenly realising he'd become emotional upon finally hearing some sign of life from this small baby. Connie did as he said and unbuttoned his shirt she was wearing, hearing him cut the chord before tying it off with some sterilised string his Mother had fetched in earlier. He was still showcasing his lungs, screaming the house down as Sam wrapped him loosely in a towel. "There we go." He cooed, raising himself up on his knees, he leant across her legs to hand over her newborn baby. She took him gently without speaking and placed him straight on to her chest to warm him up. As soon as he'd started screaming his flesh quickly found it's colour but he settled almost instantly when held closely to her chest. It was strange how even babies this young knew who their Mothers were. She kept the towel draped over his body, glancing down at him in awe. He was small like most babies but for almost four weeks early he was surprisingly big. His little hand was gripping on to the end of her finger as she cooed softly to him, she was completely oblivious to Sam watching on sweetly. In all honesty he'd been fretting about this moment for so long, he knew Connie had a tendency to shut-down in situations that were out of her control and that's what he feared would happen with this baby as it did with Grace. That she'd struggle to connect with him, maybe even reject him and shut down completely but quite the opposite seemed to have had happened.

"Thank you." She spoke quietly, shaking him from his daydream.

"Don't thank _me._ You did all the hard work." He smiled embarrassedly, lowering himself down back into a kneeling position, replacing the blanket back over her legs. "I think you have some visitors waiting." He smiled before glancing at the door, Grace's head peeping around it tiredly. Neither of them were sure how long she'd been watching for but they couldn't be angry, even at Audrey for allowing her to stay up this late.

"Sorry, she wanted to see you before she goes to bed." Audrey apologised instantly upon entering the room behind Grace. Her breath catching in her throat emotionally as she placed a hand on her chest in absolute admiration. She could only see the top of his tiny head and his little hand gripping on to Connie's finger, the rest of him was concealed protectively by the towel over Connie's chest. But that was all she had to see to become so emotional.

"He's so small." Grace smiled, standing next to Connie's shoulder and looking down at him. "Does he have a name?"

"I don't know, honestly I haven't even thought about it." She looked up at Grace tiredly.

"I'll think of some and tell you tomorrow." She leant down, hugging her Mother as gently as she could. She was so sleepy, this was the latest she'd ever stayed up and she felt like a little zombie.

"You look tired, Gracie." Sam smiled. "Go and get ready for bed, I'll come through and see you in a minute." She nodded exhaustedly, shuffling out of the room.

"He's beautiful." Audrey gushed proudly, looking at her son's fatigued face and back to Connie's sleepy state, she nodded in agreement with Audrey before her brows knitted together, groaning with discomfort. Audrey's eyes flickered back to Sam, who lifted the blanket slightly before splashing some more vodka over his hands.

"The placenta hasn't been delivered yet." He glanced back to Connie from his Mother. "You ready?"

"No." She breathed uncomfortably. "Please can you take him?" She wrapped the towel around him more securely, looking up to Audrey's shocked face, she didn't refuse though. In fact she was more than happy to hold him, she bent down slowly and took him from her. Making sure to be as gentle as possible.

"Come here, little one." She soothed upon hearing him grumble in a displeased manner at being removed from the warm comfort of his Mother's embrace. "There we go." Standing up straight with him, she attempted to settle the upset little soul now crying in her arms. Thankfully it only took a minute or so, she was going to leave the room but thought it best not to venture too far away from Connie with him.

"You okay?" He asked thoughtfully, noticing the pained look on her face. She looked pale, exhausted and quite frankly over this whole day.

"I just want to get this over with." Her words weren't much more than a whisper, breathed out between gasps. That awful feeling was creeping up on her again as she readied herself to push. Audrey couldn't help but feel as though she was really invading Connie's space. Trying to make herself scarce, she moved over to the other side of the room and sat herself down on the wicker chair in the corner near the dresser.

"Just a few more pushes and it'll all be over." He tried to smile reassuringly at her but before she could catch it, her eyes were closed tightly as she grimaced through the slight pain. Rubbing the outside of her thigh, he tried to comfort her as best he could.

"I can't!" She finished pushing with an exhausted groan, her head falling back defeatedly. "I can't, it feels different this time." Breathing heavily, her chest was rising and falling quickly with each exaggerated breath.

"Okay, okay." He lulled worriedly. "I'm gonna call Duffy-"

"No, no, I don't want them here-"

"I'm calling them, regardless. There's no way the pair of you aren't getting checked over tonight. It's too risky, it wasn't exactly a smooth delivery and he's four weeks early." His words held a stark truth, even she knew that. Knowing he was right, she gave up arguing and returned her focus to the slight pain she was experiencing, something felt off. Sam's voice distracted her for a mere millisecond as he got hold of Duffy on the phone. "Duffy, sorry it's so late." He paused, listening to her speak on the other end. "He's here and fine as far as I can tell." Smiling as he spoke, he glanced at the swaddled baby currently in his Mother's arms. "Things got a little hairy for a while but he's fine." Silence again as she spoke in his ear. "No, not yet. That's why I'm calling." He looked down at Connie as she shifted her position uncomfortably. "I think she's having contractions again but no placenta yet."

"Sam." She whispered tiredly, her face still glistening. The painful effort of childbirth clearly displayed by her weary expression.

"It's okay." He used his free hand to grab one of hers, squeezing it reassuringly. "Duffy said it's possible that the placenta's stuck, I'll have to apply pressure to your abdomen, okay?"

"I don't care anymore. Please, just do it." Groaning irritably, she could hear him talking, finishing his conversation quickly but she took no notice of the words being spoken. Having finally hung up, he rotated his position back to face her.

"It's not going to be comfortable but it'll be over quickly, Charlie and Duffy are on their way."

"Ah, it's happening again." She pulled her head up from resting on the pillows and panted through the suffering, it was about to get a whole lot worse. The apologetic look on Sam's face told her that as he maneuvered around to her side. Duffy had half explained what to do but he more or less had to massage her abdomen quite harshly in order to assist her body in delivering the placenta.

She was sure to let him, along with the next door neighbours, know what kind of agony it caused her. Grace had only just nodded off in her room when she was awoken by her Mother's loud and distressed groans. Inevitably Sam had come away with a minor injury also, her nail marks still indented in the flesh of his forearm where she'd gripped on to him in absolute torture. But finally, it was all over. There was a minor bleed afterwards but Duffy arrived perfectly in time to deal with that. Bringing what she needed with her, she took the baby's measurements and checked him over before placing a little hat on his head over his dark wispy hairs.

"Six pounds and eight ounces. He's a good, healthy weight considering he's arrived early." Duffy smiled, handing him back to Connie, who was now cleaned up, changed and positioned as comfortably as possible the bed. "And you're alright?"

"Fine." She smiled, taking her baby back into her arms. "Just tired."

"I bet!" She rubbed her arm sweetly. "Well, he's _perfect._ "

"He's nameless." She glanced back down at him held securely in her arms, he was asleep, now clothed and wrapped up warmly too. Sam had been such a rock tonight, she managed with Grace on her own but just the thought of going through what she just experienced without him wasn't even worth dwelling on. He'd gone to tuck Grace in after moving the moses basket into the bedroom, a bottle mixed up at the ready. She wasn't even sure how he was thinking straight at this hour, especially after the long flight he'd just endured.

"I'm sure a name'll come to him." Duffy assured, winking at her. "We'll get out of your hair, let you both get some rest."

"Thank you." Her eyes moved over to Charlie, who was stood by the wicker chair. "Both of you."

"Don't mention it." His voice was raspy, obviously he'd just woken up but he made sure she knew he _wanted_ to be here for her, deep down, she knew that he knew the situation she was in. They would just never speak of it and continue knowing in silence.

* * *

Soon it was just the three of them in the room, five o'clock in the morning and surrounded by silence. Connie was in a state of complete delirium, her fatigue reaching a new level as she fought to keep her eyes open. The only thing keeping her conscious was the sound of Sam talking to her baby as he cradled him by the window, the room light had been left at it's dimmest possible setting all night for maximum comfort and it worked. She couldn't make out what he was saying, partly because she was drained and partly because he was talking so softly, rocking him as he spoke.

"Noah." Her quiet voice startled him slightly, causing him to cease his soft spoken words and turn to look at her questioningly.

"Sorry?"

"His name, I was thinking Noah." Her lips were barely opening to speak, she was that shattered.

"After my brother?" There was a slight crack in his voice, the same emotional look on his face as when he saw Grace for the first time. She didn't answer him verbally, she was too tired, instead she nodded gently and smiled through her sleepy expression. In response he let a small, quiet and almost disbelieving laugh escape him as he looked down at the baby in his arms. "Hello, Noah."

 ***This chapter is a little shorter than usual, I didn't want to cram too much into it as I felt as though this was a part two kind of chapter to the last one. The next chapter will be a normal length and obviously the drama won't end here! Thanks so much for reading, please review! Once again, I am no medical professional and nor have I ever or will I ever have kids so excuse any mistakes or inaccuracies!***


	31. Chapter 31: Guilt

***Thank you all for reading and reviewing! I appreciate it so much! Also, for those of you unaware, I do have another fic on the go now too to satisfy some of the kinkier readers! It's called** ** _Dirty Secrets_** **and you can access it by clicking on my name and then the link to all my fics. Hope you enjoy this one!***

 _Soon it was just the three of them in the room, five o'clock in the morning and surrounded by silence. Connie was in a state of complete delirium, her fatigue reaching a new level as she fought to keep her eyes open. The only thing keeping her conscious was the sound of Sam talking to her baby as he cradled him by the window, the room light had been left at it's dimmest possible setting all night for maximum comfort and it worked. She couldn't make out what he was saying, partly because she was drained and partly because he was talking so softly, rocking him as he spoke._

 _"Noah." Her quiet voice startled him slightly, causing him to cease his soft spoken words and turn to look at her questioningly._

 _"Sorry?"_

 _"His name, I was thinking Noah." Her lips were barely opening to speak, she was that shattered._

 _"After my brother?" There was a slight crack in his voice, the same emotional look on his face as when he saw Grace for the first time. She didn't answer him verbally, she was too tired, instead she nodded gently and smiled through her sleepy expression. In response he let a small, quiet and almost disbelieving laugh escape him as he looked down at the baby in his arms. "Hello, Noah."_

* * *

"No, no that's fine. Thanks, Duffy." He breathed, hanging up as he looked through the crack of the door at Connie. It was definitely normal for a new Mother not to want to leave the house or have people over so soon after giving birth but Noah was due his first check up after birth and since he was delivered at home, he needed to be taken in to get checked over. He gathered his words in his head and entered the room.

"I know what you're going to say." She beat him to it, placing Noah back in his moses basket before looking up at him tiredly.

"Sorry." His face wrinkled sympathetically. "She's too busy to pop in today but said she's more than happy to check him over if we take him in." As soon as he uttered the last part of his sentence she looked down, her jaw clenched in a displeased manner. "It'll take an hour at the most, I mean, if you want I could always take him-"

"No." She interrupted quickly, her face relaxing upon realising how it sounded. "No, it's fine, thank you. I can take him." The rejected look on his face hurt her heart, maybe a second child had softened her even more? Her next sentence confirmed this theory. "You can come with me though, if you want?"

"Of course." He gushed, the sad look on his face changing completely upon hearing her offer. Little Noah was six days old now and was behaving like an absolute angel. Neither of them could believe it. He slept a hell of a lot and as for crying there was very little of it. He was very fussy though, especially in anybody else's arms other than Connie's. Already he seemed to be a Mummy's boy. Since Grace was very much a Daddy's girl, they now had the stereotypical children of any TV family.

"Okay, I'll, uh, just go and get showered and we'll go." Although talking surely, he could see right through her like a pane of glass. She was uneasy about leaving, for obvious reasons. He promised himself he wouldn't let anything bad happen to either of them, not that she'd ever admit being afraid of anything, he let her believe he was oblivious to her anxieties.

* * *

"I don't know how she does it." Robyn spoke with a slight tone of irritation. "She gave birth six days ago. S _ix!_ " She exclaimed, Greg, Ethan, Cal, and David smiling at her words. "How is that even fair?" Sam and Connie had just entered the ED. Looking as though they were both ready for a working day. Sam suited up as per usual and Connie once again rocking her Red Soled Louboutins paired with a crisp white shirt neatly tucked into her tailored pants, her hair and makeup on point to complete the look. Much to Robyn's annoyance, the Clinical Lead's body seemed to have just bounced back to it's original shape like tight elastic.

"Well I guess that solves the ongoing mystery of who the daddy is." Louise appeared at Cal's side, smiling smugly, she'd been right all along and held her hand out for Cal to slap a ten pound note in her palm. He'd bet her a tenner that the baby was Jacob's and had seemingly lost that bet. The sight of Sam walking ahead of Connie with the baby carrier hanging over his right arm was confirmation of this.

"Welcome back, Queen B." Greg smiled through his words. "Give us a look at the little fella then." He moved out from behind the reception desk, peering down at him with a broody look on his face. As far as babies go, nobody could deny he was an extremely cute looking baby. The perfect amount of plump baby fat, combined with a thin layer of dark wispy baby hair covering his head. He was sound asleep in the carrier, everyone gazing down at his sweetness. Sam kept glancing back at Connie to see how she was reacting, so far she seemed fine. These were people she trusted, he figured she'd be okay but as his thoughts just concluded this he saw her stiffen slightly. Her gaze fixed to the side of Greg as another person joined the ring of admirers. He followed the direction in which her eyes were focused. His face dropping too when he laid eyes on her. It was Anna. Connie had the look of a lioness protecting her young, her face and eyes giving Anna a strong warning to back off. It was so clear in her expression that he could almost hear her saying it. Sam quickly diffused the situation, pulling the blue blanket from over the handle and thus concealing him nicely as it formed a sort of tent over the front of the carrier.

"We should probably get a move on." He smiled as everyone stood up straight again, Anna appearing to be slightly nervous after Connie's threatening stare. "We've got to pick Gracie up soon."

"Well, congratulations to you both." Greg grinned, drawing agreement from the others. They headed off towards Charlie's office where Duffy said she'd meet them, leaving the staff to continue on with their work and of course some gossip too.

"So, are they actually a couple then?" Cal asked, intrigued about this new revelation.

"Yes, Caleb." Ethan's response was dry. "Looks like your chances with Connie Beauchamp are well and truly shattered."

"Very funny, Nibbles. You don't think I seized all those chances when she first arrived here? I'm not you, I snatch at an opportunity when I'm presented with one. I don't offer it politelt to every other person in the room first."

"Your patient is missing, you do know that, right?"

"What?" Cal's face screwed up irritably before he turned to see that indeed his patient was missing from the bed. That was the end of that squabble as he dashed off immediately to locate him.

"Oh, man." Greg sighed, dropping his patient files into the tray on the reception desk. "All you women popping out little sprogs is really giving me baby fever."

"Aww." Robyn cooed, rubbing his arm. "Look at you getting all broody, didn't have you down as the type to want kids."

"What makes you say that?" He looked down at her with a shocked expression, his accent thick and romantic.

"I don't know, there's just a _forever-bachelor_ look about you." She laughed heartily, giving up the act. "I'm only messing, you'd make a great Dad." Smiling sweetly she edged around them and headed off back towards cubicles, leaving Anna, Greg, David and Ethan stood silently. David took it upon himself to break the silence.

"Parenting is one of the hardest things I've ever done, but by far the most rewarding." He folded his lips together, looking down sadly upon thinking about Oliver. "Excuse me, I'd better get back to Dr keogh."

"What about you, specs?" Greg crossed his arms over his broad chest, leaning on the front of the reception counter as he looked at Ethan expectantly.

"Me? Uh, yeah, of course. In due time, I hope to have two or three mini Ethan's or Alicia's-" He halted immediately, having let his feeling slip. "I mean, boys or girls. I don't mind, maybe one of each?" He stumbled over his words hopelessly. "Sorry, I've got patients to see." He cleared his throat and set off towards resus in an embarrassed manner. Greg and Anna remained.

"Did you see the way she looked at me?" Anna's lip quivered as she spoke.

"Anna." He started firmly, he was sick of talking about the matter. "What you did was wrong-"

"I know!" She bellowed angrily before composing herself. "I know, I just, I want her to know I'm done with Michael. He's gone, he was a poisonous soul. I don't want her to see me as some sort of threat when I'm _not_."

"Just stay out of her way and it'll be fine." He pulled her into a hug. "Don't give her a reason to maul you because, given the chance, she will. Especially where her child is concerned. You've just got to understand it from her point of view. What you did was wrong and dangerous, you put their lives in a position where they were at risk of harm. Of course she's gonna be angry." He soothed lovingly. "You've apologised, relentlessly, now all you can do is just get on with life and leave them alone. Okay?" He felt her nod sadly against his chest. He had a lot on his plate with this one, without a doubt.

* * *

Charlie's face was that of a proud Grandfather right now, rocking Noah in his arms as though he was his own flesh and blood. Duffy had checked him over and he seemed perfectly fine. Fighting fit and strong for a baby delivered early.

"So you've no plans to give up Emergency Medicine and become a full-time male midwife then?" She smiled over at Sam, her question pulling a laugh from him.

"No, thank you, but no. I think I'll leave that to the skilled professionals such as yourself."

"You did a damn good job though." Charlie tore his attention away from the baby fussing in his arms, complimenting Sam as he moved towards Connie with a now crying Noah. She took him gently, nestling him in her cradled arms and more or less settling him instantly.

"Wow, you weren't lying when you said he was a Mummy's boy."

"Mother's have a magic touch." Duffy smiled warmly at them, as did Charlie. His heart aching slightly at the thought of the real situation behind this rosy screen. Nobody should ever have to go through what she'd been through.

"Well, I'd better get back to the front line." Charlie's voice broke the silence, causing Sam to shift too.

"Yeah, I've got a couple of things to grab from your office too." Speaking directly to Connie it was clear he was asking permission, her slight nod gave him that, allowing him to leave after Charlie.

Duffy sat down next to Connie on the settee once they'd closed the door after leaving, her voice warm and soothing. "He's going to break some hearts when he's older."

"Far too many if he's anything like his Father." Her words were stone cold, alarming Duffy slightly as she moved her gaze from the sweet face of Noah to Connie's pale complexion staring down at her baby.

"Sam's a ladies man, a knew that from one look at him." Her small laugh was an attempt at lightening the mood and Connie almost seemed to be shaken back to reality. Of course, to everyone else this was _Sam's_ baby.

"Uh, yeah." She shook her head, forcing a bleak smile. "He is, always has been."

"Look, I don't want to cross a line here-"

"Well then don't." She knew what was coming and halted her quickly, this is exactly what she wanted to avoid. Worried faces and concerned questions. she didn't need nor want it. She just wanted to get on with her life. There was no need to tell Duffy twice, she apologised before Sam re-entered the office. They departed shortly after, leaving her with her fretful thoughts.

* * *

"Maybe not tonight, Gracie." Sam answered her apologetically, her bright face fading with a look of disappointment. She'd asked if Hugo could come over and watch a movie after finishing their homework, he just didn't think it was a good idea at the moment. He squeezed her shoulder lovingly as they headed towards the front door upon arriving home. Connie wasn't far behind, getting Noah out of Sam's car.

"Grandma's here!" Her spirits were soon raised as they opened the door and entered the house to see Audrey coming out from the kitchen.

Hello, sweetheart." She smiled affectionately, enveloping her granddaughter into a tight hug whilst Sam smiled on before turning to close the door behind Connie. "Sorry, I hope I'm not barging in on you. I'm visiting a friend later on this afternoon and thought I'd drop by." Her eyes moved from Sam's face to Connie's weary expression, more so asking if it was okay to stay a while. The lack of response from either of them told her it was okay.

"No, no, it's fine." Sam finally reassured with a smile. "Gracie has some homework to do though, don't you?" She was stood in front of with her back to him as he placed both hands on her shoulders playfully.

"When _don't_ I have homework?" Her dramatic eye-roll received a smile from both Audrey and Sam before she turned on her heel with her school bag and headed for the stairs.

"Shout me if-"

"If I need any help, yes, I know." She called out behind her in true Grace fashion.

"I've put the kettle on, I wasn't sure how long you'd be." Speaking sweetly, she moved into the kitchen with Sam and Connie following. He was getting a little concerned about Connie, she'd hardly spoken since they left the Hospital.

"Oh, Mum." Sam sighed, heading towards the counter in front of the window. "Enough with the flowers." He laughed, her obsession with flowers had always been hilarious to him, she gave them for any occasion. This was the third bouquet since Noah had been born.

"Actually." She defended immediately, pouring their tea. "They're not from me! They were left on the doorstep in the rain, I brought them in, trimmed the stems and put them in a vase for you." There was a pause as Sam looked for the card, her voice distracting him. " _You're welcome._ "

"Alright." He smiled. "Thank you, but who are they from? There's no card." His face was perplexed as he rummaged gently through the delicate flowers.

"I don't know, I couldn't find one either." She frowned, leaving the room as she went to retrieve her handbag from the hallway.

"Throw them out." Connie's grave tone surprised him, having not said a word since entering the house. She'd sat Noah's carrier on the counter top, a troubled expression staining her face. "I know who they're from and I don't want them in here, get rid of them." The calmness of her voice spooked Sam a fraction, watching her worriedly as she removed Noah from his seat, holding him up against her chest delicately, supporting his tiny head with one hand whilst the other held him under his baby-grow covered nappy. Sam's brain cottoned on, turning to look at bouquet as he pondered how something so pure could have turned into something so ugly? He wasted no time, picking the vase up and heading towards the back, they went straight into the wheelie bin outside, shaking the vase of the last water droplets he glanced up at his back gate as it swung gently in the breeze. It was _never_ used, so why was it open? He shut it promptly before heading back inside, these small things couldn't be ignored. He was starting to feel slightly uneasy about the whole thing, but how on Earth was he supposed to approach the topic with Connie? Deep down he knew she must have had an inkling but at the same time if she was completely unaware, which he highly doubted, should he stress her out by telling her?

* * *

Her eyes felt bone dry. There was only so much crying one could do before the body starts to feel completely numb and oblivious to any aches or pains. Even emotional pain. Shifting in the cold, she readjusted her position on the back step of Greg's house as she hugged her left arm tightly across her middle, her dressing gown clenched to her body snugly. The cigarette in her right hand was trembling with her shaking. A nasty habit, the cigarette, not the shaking.

This had become her nightly routine. A couple glasses of gin followed by a cold cigarette on the back step at one o'clock in the morning. She'd always wait for Greg to doze off first before sneaking out of the bed and coming down here to let her thoughts cascade over her suffering self. There was an extremely large part of her that wanted to _hate_ Michael with every fibre of her being but at the same time the softer, caring side of her desperately wanted to help him. Bring him back.

In her youth she'd resented him for leaving her. Their Mother a tormented woman, who never seemed to recover from her post-natal depression with Anna and their Father a raging and abusive alcoholic. Michael bore the brunt of his horrific outbursts in order to protect Anna but there was only so much he could take. The final straw was an altercation they'd had one Thursday evening. She could remember every single bloodied detail of the event. Her Father, drunk again and this time so was a seventeen year old Michael. Hence why things got so awfully out of hand, a little bit of Dutch courage proved almost deadly as Michael fought back with all he had. An almighty rage taking over him. Anna being only five at the time remained hidden at the top of the stairs, too scared to look away, too scared to breathe, too scared to even shed a tear as she watched on in pure terror.

Her Dad survived, he never so much as touched her again, angry or otherwise. But Michael still left. He was terrified and now, Anna finally understood why.

He was cut from the same cloth, an apple that'd fallen dangerously close to the tree. He _was_ their Father, reincarnated.

* * *

Sitting bolt upright in his sleep, his own breathing scared him after a noise jolted him from his deep slumber. It took him a moment to calm down a fraction, realising whatever he'd heard must have been a dream. Sighing slowly, he looked beside him to find Connie gone, Noah too as he got out of bed glancing over the empty moses basket. It was four o'clock in the morning, he could only assume she was feeding him. He was correct. They were downstairs in the living room. Parking himself in the door frame with a tired squint on his face, he watched on in awe before breaking the silence.

"I could have done that." He was half expecting her to flinch at his voice but she'd heard him coming.

"It's fine, I was still awake anyway." She spoke softly, smiling tiredly as she stood up to place the empty bottle on his coffee table.

"You're not sleeping well." He didn't ask, merely stating the obvious fact, his face softening when he saw her small smile fade. She was readjusting Noah to wind him but he stepped in to offer a hand. "Here, I'll do that. You put the kettle on." He stood closely to her small frame, it was always odd being around her without her Louboutins one, she was in fact very petite in size but he'd never dare say that to her. She was small but still a firecracker nonetheless. As she handed the tiny baby over to him, it felt nice to have her arms free. She watched from the doorway for a minute, the sight before her melting her heart rapidly. He was made to be a Father, whether it was to his own children or not. That quality was built in to him, perhaps a result of his own absent Father?

Her thoughts went from being viewed though rose-tinted glasses to stone cold grey as her mind automatically catapulted back to the subject of Fathers. Her own in particular. Towards the end they seemed to patch up their differences but he was a dying man with regrets and guilt hanging over his soul. Perhaps he only reconnected because he wanted to repent? Or maybe it was that the care he needed he couldn't afford and she could? Either way, he was gone now and she'd never know.

She and Michael were kindred spirits in that sense, initially neither were very open about their childhoods, true to their individual form but eventually as they became close and saw the ugly in each other, they opened up. Their similarities drawing them together, forming a strong and inter-dependent relationship but at the same time he frequently displayed behaviour similar to that of her Father along with his own. Each time there was a display of these traits, he'd recognise it immediately and revert into an apologetic and quivering mess. He scared himself. But she reassured it would _always_ be okay because she would _always_ be there to snap him out of it and bring him back to his true self. That was a long time ago.

"Connie? What's wrong?" As he'd been bouncing a burping Noah gently, he'd turned on the spot suddenly catching sight of her still stood in the doorway, a devastated look on her face.

"Nothing." She barely whispered the word out, the tears balanced dangerously on her bottom lid only just falling as she turned quickly to head into the kitchen. Even after all of _this_ , the immense pain and suffering he'd caused her, she still felt guilt.

And that's what sickened her the most.


	32. Chapter 32: Breach

***Wow. It has been SO long since I posted anything and I sincerely apologise, I know it's frustrating but I have been dealing with a huge amount of shit since Christmas and I'm doing my best. I mentioned on twitter that 'Dirty Secrets' would be updated first but I've hit a wall with that fic so I got typing for this fic in the mean time and I'll get the 'Dirty Secrets' chapter posted ASAP. Thank you for being patient and I'm going to try and be updating more regularly now. I hope this is okay and I hope you enjoy it!***

 _Sitting bolt upright in his sleep, his own breathing scared him after a noise jolted him from his deep slumber. It took him a moment to calm down a fraction, realising whatever he'd heard must have been a dream. Sighing slowly, he looked beside him to find Connie gone, Noah too as he got out of bed glancing over the empty moses basket. It was four o'clock in the morning, he could only assume she was feeding him. He was correct. They were downstairs in the living room. Parking himself in the door frame with a tired squint on his face, he watched on in awe before breaking the silence._

 _"I could have done that." He was half expecting her to flinch at his voice but she'd heard him coming._

 _"It's fine, I was still awake anyway." She spoke softly, smiling tiredly as she stood up to place the empty bottle on his coffee table._

 _"You're not sleeping well." He didn't ask, merely stating the obvious fact, his face softening when he saw her small smile fade. She was readjusting Noah to wind him but he stepped in to offer a hand. "Here, I'll do that. You put the kettle on." He stood closely to her small frame, it was always odd being around her without her Louboutins one, she was in fact very petite in size but he'd never dare say that to her. She was small but still a firecracker nonetheless. As she handed the tiny baby over to him, it felt nice to have her arms free. She watched from the doorway for a minute, the sight before her melting her heart rapidly. He was made to be a Father, whether it was to his own children or not. That quality was built in to him, perhaps a result of his own absent Father?_

 _Her thoughts went from being viewed though rose-tinted glasses to stone cold grey as her mind automatically catapulted back to the subject of Fathers. Her own in particular. Towards the end they seemed to patch up their differences but he was a dying man with regrets and guilt hanging over his soul. Perhaps he only reconnected because he wanted to repent? Or maybe it was that the care he needed he couldn't afford and she could? Either way, he was gone now and she'd never know._

 _She and Michael were kindred spirits in that sense, initially neither were very open about their childhoods, true to their individual form but eventually as they became close and saw the ugly in each other, they opened up. Their similarities drawing them together, forming a strong and inter-dependent relationship but at the same time he frequently displayed behaviour similar to that of her Father along with his own. Each time there was a display of these traits, he'd recognise it immediately and revert into an apologetic and quivering mess. He scared himself. But she reassured it would always be okay because she would always be there to snap him out of it and bring him back to his true self. That was a long time ago._

 _"Connie? What's wrong?" As he'd been bouncing a burping Noah gently, he'd turned on the spot suddenly catching sight of her still stood in the doorway, a devastated look on her face._

 _"Nothing." She barely whispered the word out, the tears balanced dangerously on her bottom lid only just falling as she turned quickly to head into the kitchen. Even after all of this, the immense pain and suffering he'd caused her, she still felt guilt._

 _And that's what sickened her the most._

XXXX

It had happened. He knew it would, it was inevitable but he was secretly relieved. The worry of her shutting off and closing everyone out was hovering over him night and day but now that it had happened he could stop stressing about it and just try to deal with it. Noah was three weeks old now and rarely ever out of Connie's embrace. He was _very_ needy in terms of her touch and affection, however he was a very quiet and angelic baby otherwise. Ever since the flowers from Michael had arrived she'd shrunken into herself again, hardly speaking to him unless it was about Grace or Noah and as for physically she was completely unavailable. Not that he was expecting her to be up for it, but there was nothing there, not even an arm rub or brief exchange of contact during the day. The only time their skin made contact was at night-time, in bed when she needed to have that sense of security, even just her hand lightly touching his back so that she knew he was there.

He knew better than to hassle her though and having spoken to Charlie about it, decided to let it play out and give her some space. On a more positive note, Michael hadn't made any other gestures towards Connie, no more flowers had been delivered and Anna maintains she's had no contact with him since the car-park incident.

"Dad?" He jumped a little at her voice, he hadn't realised but he'd been sat in the driver's seat in a daze for a few minutes. He was in charge of the school run before heading to the hospital in the mornings to save Connie having to shift Noah in and out of the car four times a day.

"Sorry, I was day-dreaming." He smiled and turned to look at her. "You got your book bag?"

"How could I forget it with both you _and_ Mum reminding me a thousand times before I left?" Her sassy teen attitude made him smirk as he watched her pull her seatbelt off. "Don't forget, I finish early today. The last two lessons are cancelled because Mrs Finch is away." The excitement at finishing school early was evident in both her smile and voice.

"Oh good, you can get a head-start on your homework then."

"Dad-" She started to protest but he interjected.

"I'm joking!" He laughed. "As promised, we're renting a film and stocking up on popcorn and sweets."

"Thanks, Dad." She beamed, slamming the car door and running through the rain to the school entrance.

He'd been promising her a night in for two weeks now, not wanting her to feel left out with Noah arriving and Connie being in a strange state of mind at the moment. This film night was all about her. Her snack choice, her film choice and her game choice. Truth be told, he was even looking forward to it too.

XXXX

"Maybe I should go and have a chat with her?" Duffy offered sympathetically as she listened to Sam and Charlie discussing the latest on Connie. They were sat in Connie's office, Sam almost at his wit's end. He didn't know what to do.

"No, I mean, thank you but no." He shifted uncomfortably. "She'll hit the roof if she even has an inkling we've been discussing her so please, say nothing."

"Right." She nodded. "I understand, she's complex character isn't she?" The small smile she offered only slightly lightened the room before she felt like she'd outstayed her welcome at this unofficial meeting. "Right, well I should probably hop back to it." She jumped up, collecting their mugs, closing the office door behind herself.

"Have you tried talking to her?"

"Charlie, this is _Connie_ we're talking about." He rubbed his hand over his mouth in a distressed fashion. "She's just, closed off completely. I mean, I knew it was going to happen but not quite this bad."

"And you don't think it's post-natal depression?"

"No, I suspected that when she had Grace. She wouldn't spend time with her, hold her or anything but not with Noah." He smiled small. "It's the opposite actually, she won't let him out of her sight." The smile faded, realising it might not be as an endearing thought as he'd first imagined and it was as though Charlie had read his mind.

"You think she's worrying he's just going to reappear again?"

"Honestly, I think she's petrified."

Their solemn talk did more harm to Sam than good and he spent the afternoon trying to think of ways he could make her feel more secure without caging her in and making her feel claustrophobic, because let's face it, it didn't take a lot for her to feel trapped and overcrowded. When he did finally come up with a temporary and potentially good idea he could almost feel himself becoming excited but those feelings were quickly diminished when he glanced at the clock and nearly had a heart attack. It was 2:17pm and Grace finished school at 2:30pm today. Whipping his phone out he dialled quickly and put it to his ear, waiting for her to answer.

"Connie." He gushed. "I completely forgot, Grace finishes school early today-"

"I know." She interrupted his stressed words. "I'm on my way there now, she told me yesterday."

"Oh thank God." He breathed dramatically. "I didn't want to be on the receiving end of her wrath, she's worse than you." Hearing her laugh ever so softly felt like such an achievement, the bluetooth in her car made it almost impossible to hear but he definitely heard a small chuckle.

"How long are you going to be there?"

"Not long, I've just got a couple of things to tie up and I'll head home. How's Noah?" He enquired genuinely and a hint of concern shone through in his voice. He'd had his first cold and made sure everyone knew how upset he was about it for three days straight.

"He's fine." She looked over at him asleep in his carseat. "He's a little warm still but he's survived it." She smiled at his chubby little cheeks vibrating with the movement of the car. "Anyway, I'm here now so I'll see you when you get home." Pulling into the car park she said her goodbyes to Sam and parked in the usual spot where she waited for Grace.

And that's just what she did. She waited and waited and waited until her impatience got the better of her. She'd already had this talk with Grace before, talking and chatting with her friends at home-time was a no-no especially when Connie was left waiting in the car for twenty plus minutes but now it was even more of a nuisance with a sick and fussy baby waiting too. She tried calling her but it was going straight to voicemail.

"How many times do we have to tell her to charge her phone before going to school?" She asked Noah pointlessly, he answered with a small cough in his sleep as she unfastened her seatbelt and exited the car before going through the rigmarole of getting Noah's carseat out and heading inside.

"I'm Connie Beauchamp, Grace's Mother." She shifted the baby carrier in her arms as she spoke to the woman on reception. "I've been waiting in the car park for twenty minutes, can you find her and tell her to get a move on?"

"Of course." She smiled. "You'd think they'd all be racing home as fast as possible but after-school chatting is more important I guess." She laughed and clicked around on the computer for a couple of seconds. "Ah, she was in a P.E. class so she's probably still getting changed. I'll give her teacher a call and find out what the hold up is."

"Thank you." She looked down at Noah, checking his forehead temperature with the back of her fingers before pulling his hat off a fraction, he was burning up in all the layers he was wearing combined with the heat in the reception area.

"Oh..." The woman's voice trailed off as she conversed with the teacher on the phone. "Okay, no problem. I let her Mother know." Placing the phone back on the receiver she turned to face Connie once again. "She's already been collected."

"What?" She snapped in true Connie fashion. "That's impossible, I was just on the phone to her Father and he was under the impression I was picking her up."

"No, not her dad, an uncle picked her up before her P.E. class." She stared at Connie blankly before continuing. "A Michael Beauchamp collected her this afternoon, your brother?"

XXXX

"I got here as soon as I could." Barging through the doors Sam headed straight for the desk, completely blind to Connie sat on a seat by the wall, her head in her hands and Noah still sleeping soundly in his carrier. "I'm Grace's Father, Sam Strachan."

"Mr Strachan, we are taking this very seriously, we assure you-"

"Are you?" He bellowed. "So do you just let your students go home with anyone showing up and claiming to be a relative?!" The principal shuddered at his angry tone, he'd only just finished being blasted by Connie and now he was facing the Father too.

"The Police are on their way, they'll want to talk to you both, we'll get to the bottom of this-"

"Yes, we will! And I want action to be taken-"

"Sam." Her soft voice interjected his angry rant. "Please." She sat up straight again as Noah started to fuss in his seat. She didn't even need to finish her sentence and he ceased his yelling, shaking his head irately towards the Principal before moving towards her.

"Everything's going to be-"

"Don't." Her anger was peeking through now. "Don't you dare say everything is going to be fine." He retreated with his empty words. "I can't get hold of her, her phone's dead."

"Okay." Stating matter-of-factly he stood up straight. "You take him home, I'll stay here and deal with the Police and give Greg a call, see if Anna knows where he's staying. We'll find her, Connie."

"No, I need-"

"You need to take Noah home." He cut her off calmly and glanced down at the now crying baby as she tried to soothe him. "I'll call you as soon as I hear anything."

She felt so guilty, this was nobody's fault of course but she'd spent the last few weeks protecting Noah from the possibility of Michael showing up and it hadn't even occurred to her that Grace could be in any kind of jeopardy. The drive home was quiet and sullen.

When was this going to end?

XXXX

"So, you're my Mum's brother?" She asked inquisitively. "She never told me she had a brother."

"Yeah, I moved to Sweden a few years ago." He answered gleefully as he drove. Grace chomping delightfully on a McDonald's in the passenger seat. "Your Mum knows I'm home and asked me to pick you up, I think she's tied up at home and your Dad's working."

"What made you come back, surely anywhere is better than here." She scoffed in between eating her chips one by one, ignoring the excuses for why each of her parents couldn't pick her up, she was used to it and had heard them all before.

"Family." He smiled. "Like you, a niece I've never even met before." Lying expertly, he approached the next topic lightly. "And your mum's just had another baby? A boy, right?" He was acting ever so well. "I can't remember his name." Pretending to think, her drummed his thumb on the steering wheel as he neared their destination.

"Noah." Grace answered nonchalantly. "After our dad's brother, he died before I was born."

"Noah." He repeated in a marvelled fashion. He had a son named Noah.

"Dad's still not home." Remarking in an irritated manner she rolled her eyes as they neared the house. Connie's car was in the driveway and the living room light was on, visible through the window even with the blinds drawn. This miserable weather had the sky as dark as night at 3pm, the street lamp illuminating the car as the parked under it on the street.

Inside, Connie had finally managed to settle Noah, she figured he must have been reacting off of her distress after all babies could sense these things. He was still awake, laying peacefully in the moses basket in the living room. She was warming his milk in the kitchen, checking her phone repeatedly. Every two minutes she turned the screen on hoping to see good news but it was still blank. Closing her eyes, she rubbed her neck hard, a headache forming from the stress and worry as she leant back against the kitchen work top. Every morning she'd dress as if she was heading to work, it helped her feel less slobby. Staying home in a dressing gown all day had never appealed to her and the current situation of having just given birth was no reason for her to take up the habit. Opening her eyes she unbuttoned the top button and grabbed Noah's bottle, it was heated nicely.

Heading back into the living room her world almost came crashing down, heart heart stopped and her blood ran cold. Before she could even utter a word, she'd dropped Noah's lidless bottle, cascading milk all over the carpet.

"Mum!" Grace echoed in a panic at her Mother's behaviour.

"Go upstairs, Grace. Now."

"But I-"

"Upstairs!" She barked emotionally, causing Grace to jump at the volume. She wasn't angry or upset with her Mum's words, instead she was worried. The way she was looking at her Uncle as he cradled Noah in his arms made her shiver. She glanced up at him wearily as she stepped away and moved behind Connie in the hallway. Something was amiss, she could feel it. Staying still on the bottom step, she watched as Connie stepped forward cautiously.

"Michael." Her voice quivered and her arms reached out shakily. "Please, just give him to me."

"He's so small." Ignoring her pleas, he kept swaying with his son. Not taking his eyes off him for even a moment. He was infatuated. "My son, he's perfect." He cooed quietly causing Connie to halt just inside the doorway as Michael inched away from her with every step she took towards him. Her heart was racing so fast she felt like she was going to faint, her right hand coming up to hold her chest as the tears threatened to fall.

"Please." She begged again but her words were falling on deaf and besotted ears as he continued to rock Noah, marvelling at the tiny being as he started to fuss in his embrace. By this time Grace had already bolted up the stairs, plugging her phone in as fast as she could. This man wasn't her uncle, she knew that now but she just hoped it wasn't too late.

 ***I know this is incredibly short, forgive me! Hopefully I'll be able to post more frequently now though. And 'Dirty Secrets is coming up next, I promise! Thanks for reading and please review, let me know what you think/feel! It helps me prepare for the next chapter! XX***


	33. Chapter 33: Cleanse Part I

***Thank you to all of those being patient and understanding why I've been unable to post as of late, I am trying my hardest I promise. It's been a case of typing at any point I get chance until I have a complete chapter. I hope you enjoy, please review and leave feedback as it's always helpful for me as the writer to know how you're all feeling about the fic. Thank you! I'll be finishing this fic up soon too.***

 _Heading back into the living room her world almost came crashing down, heart heart stopped and her blood ran cold. Before she could even utter a word, she'd dropped Noah's lidless bottle, cascading milk all over the carpet._

 _"Mum!" Grace echoed in a panic at her Mother's behaviour._

 _"Go upstairs, Grace. Now."_

 _"But I-"_

 _"Upstairs!" She barked emotionally, causing Grace to jump at the volume. She wasn't angry or upset with her Mum's words, instead she was worried. The way she was looking at her Uncle as he cradled Noah in his arms made her shiver. She glanced up at him wearily as she stepped away and moved behind Connie in the hallway. Something was amiss, she could feel it. Staying still on the bottom step, she watched as Connie stepped forward cautiously._

 _"Michael." Her voice quivered and her arms reached out shakily. "Please, just give him to me."_

 _"He's so small." Ignoring her pleas, he kept swaying with his son. Not taking his eyes off him for even a moment. He was infatuated. "My son, he's perfect." He cooed quietly causing Connie to halt just inside the doorway as Michael inched away from her with every step she took towards him. Her heart was racing so fast she felt like she was going to faint, her right hand coming up to hold her chest as the tears threatened to fall._

 _"Please." She begged again but her words were falling on deaf and besotted ears as he continued to rock Noah, marvelling at the tiny being as he started to fuss in his embrace. By this time Grace had already bolted up the stairs, plugging her phone in as fast as she could. This man wasn't her uncle, she knew that now but she just hoped it wasn't too late._

Her little heart was beating so fast she felt as though it was about to leap out of her chest. In a gap of silence she'd dashed from her own room and into her parents room upon realising her phone was dead, huddled between the wall and night stand she grabbed the landline phone her father kept by his bedside and dialled his number. She was far too afraid to venture downstairs, not after the commotion she'd heard moments ago. Her erratic breathing almost became too much, the dial tone sounded so slow in comparison to her heartbeat. The noise she heard next only increased her fears.

* * *

"Grace!" He bolted from his car, leaving the door open as he headed for the front house. His car interior was beeping angrily, telling him his keys were in the ignition still but he ignored it, allowing the sound to become quieter and quieter the further he got inside. Connie's car was in the driveway and the hysterical call he'd received from Grace had him racing home in an instant. His focus shifted quickly, the living room was entirely intact with the exception of a dropped baby bottle and spilled milk. His eyes darted around the hallway as he stepped through it urgently, checking the kitchen and dining room too. Nothing. Moving quickly towards the stairs again he took the stairs two at a time. "Grace!" Heading towards his room, he opened the door carefully, his heavy breaths and rapid pulse affecting his ability to hear things properly. Looking around the room quickly his eyes landed on her tiny frame, she was crying still positioned between the bedside table and the wall.

"I don't know where they've gone." She sobbed, her eyes never leaving his figure as he approached her and knelt down.

"It's okay." He cooed, attempting to stay calm. "Did he hurt you?"

"No." She shuddered, the tears becoming too much. "He didn't do anything to me, or them I think? I don't know." She cried. "He was holding Noah..." Pausing to wipe her nose she squinted, thinking back to anything and everything that happened. "That's when Mum came in and she dropped his bottle and yelled for me to go upstairs." Her nose was blocked completely, altering the sound of her scared little voice.

"So you came upstairs and called me?" There was a shake in his voice, he tried to disguise it but she could hear it clearly.

"I came upstairs and went to my room, I tried to call you on my mobile but it was dead." Using her school uniform sleeve to wipe her eyes she took another deep breath. "But then I heard loads of yelling and banging, I was too scared to move." She started sobbing harder. "So when it went quiet I came in here and called you and then-" Her pained cries interrupted her sentence, they were agonising for him to listen to as her father. "And then I heard him shouting in the street, I think he drove off somewhere, I heard car doors slamming." The last of her account was only just understandable through the cries. Amidst his panic he still had her interests at heart, she was inconsolable. Pulling her into his lap he squeezed her tight.

"Listen to me, Gracie." He breathed his words into the top of her head as he held her close. "None of this is your fault, okay?" He continued on upon feeling her nod gently. "I'm going to call the police and this'll all get sorted. Go pack some clothes, I'll call your grandma-"

"No!" She interrupted emotionally, pulling her head from his chest in order to look at him seriously. "I want to stay with you, please?" She was crying again now but he eventually managed to talk her down. This was going to be a long and fraught night.

He couldn't have had her with him, initially he had fully intended to call the police but by the time they'd arrive and question him along with all the other formalities he could be halfway to reaching Connie already. As soon as his Mum had arrived, he gave her the main details before kissing Grace and waving her off. His next stop, Greg's house.

* * *

It felt as though it took minutes for Greg to answer his incessant pounding at the front door but in actual fact it was a mere matter of seconds.

"Sam? What-"

"Where is she?" He questioned furiously, not waiting for an invitation he barged past him and entered the house.

"Woah, wait just a minute!" He slammed his door and turned to face Sam and his fury. "What the hell do you think you're doin'?"

"I need to speak to Anna." His nostrils flared dangerously, in conjunction with his clenched jaw, Greg could only assume this was bad and Connie related. His face relaxed with anger too.

"Why, what's happened?" The low tone of his Irish husked voice made the whole situation become real to Sam and he was freaking out beyond belief.

"He's taken them, Connie and Noah. I need to know where he might have gone, the only person who might be able to help is Anna."

"Taken them? As in kidnapped?"

"I think Connie will have gone willingly, Grace said he had Noah-"

"Son of a bitch." He spat angrily, his lips folding with rage.

"I knew he wouldn't just leave it alone." Her devastated voice grabbed both of their attention, she was stood like a ghost in the doorway of the kitchen. "He's like a dog with a bone." She looked down, fighting tears.

"I don't have time for your excuses or your little pity party, Anna!" Sam spoke violently, approaching her with such intensity she backed away from him as fast she could.

"No, please!" She begged. "I want to help!"

* * *

Her eyelids felt heavier than lead. Trying to open them was like the most intense workout but even when she felt as though they were as open as they could possibly get it was still dark, she was struggling to focus on anything. Slowly but surely things started to sink into place, she could hear the wind travelling through the wooden floorboards. It was freezing wherever she was. Shifting slightly, she rolled on to her back and sat up slowly. She was on a bare mattress that'd been left on the floor in this dank and rotting room. It was freezing, she knew that much. Her head felt foggy, almost as if she was hungover. Rubbing her head gently she jumped suddenly at the flashing memories in her head.

"Oh my God, Noah." She breathed in a panicked fashion, standing up quickly she glanced erratically around the room. He was nowhere to be seen. "Noah!" Suddenly overcome with pure terror and fret she ran for the window, peering down she could see his car in the driveway. Her thoughts were scrambled, like she couldn't differentiate what was real in her mind and what was dreamt. "No, no, no." She muttered. "This isn't happening." Turning around she could hear her own deep breaths, her mind was racing through what felt like a thousand incoherent thoughts. She remembered Michael holding Noah, Grace was upstairs. "I don't remember." She whispered to herself, becoming emotional. "I don't remember, why don't I remember?" Her face relaxed suddenly, her breathing halted completely as the image of his hand coming at her face, clamping a cloth over her mouth. That was the last thing she could recall. Her throat felt constricted, even more so when she heard who she could only assume was Michael approaching the room, the gap of yellow light sneaking in under the door suddenly flooded the room, causing her to squint as she got to her feet.

"You're awake, I knew you needed a nap." His voice was calm, eerily calm.

"Michael-" Speaking deeply, she held her hands out before her an obvious warning for him to cease all movement towards her but his voice cascaded over hers and he continued moving in her direction despite her body language. It wasn't challenging, but for once in her life it was submissive.

"I'm sorry you had to take a nap in here, this room isn't finished yet." His apology sounded so genuine but she was completely disinterested, the only thing on her mind right now was the whereabouts of her son. "I'll give you a tour later, if you like? I've got us some food downstairs, from that Thai place you love, you know? The one we always go to?"

"Please, where's Noah?" The shake in her voice was new to him.

"He's fine." Smiling as warmly as he could he stopped right in front of her. She had nowhere to go, backed up against the cold radiator her entire body was shaking. "I fed him when we got home, he's asleep." His hand came into contact with her hip as he rested his hand there gently, her whole being was tense with both disgust at his touch and extreme fear. "You must be freezing, I've lit the fire downstairs." He moved his hand from her waist area and grabbed her hand softly but she pulled away instinctively. "Hey, what's wrong?" He cooed, making her skin crawl. The tears just managing to roll delicately down her face.

"Please, Michael-"

"Shhhh."

Was this it? Has his mind completely snapped? She reluctantly let him guide her downstairs where indeed there was a lit fire accompanied by dozens of candles all over the place for lighting. The stair case was grande, however they were old, creaky and covered with layers of dust, cobwebs and junk. This was nobody's home, it was an abandoned house. She'd recognised the garden when she looked out of the window upstairs. She remained silent as he took them on a path through all of the destroyed furniture, the walls covered in graffiti and grime. Her eyes landed on his carry seat, the relief almost causing her to deflate as they entered what she could only assume was once a nice living room.

"See, he's having a sleep too. He could sleep through my noisy kitchen antics but I knew you couldn't." He laughed heartily but she'd tuned him out completely as she made a bee-line for a sleeping Noah.

"Oh, come here baby." She whispered with a slight sob, lifting him out of his chair before clutching his warm little body to hers, swaying him gently. She covered his head with one hand, the other supporting his bum as he nestled his face into her neck. He was fine and judging by the empty bottle on the table, he'd been fed too. She kept her back to Michael, her mind absolutely wild with thoughts. What the hell was happening?

"I've burped him and changed him." He spoke proudly, snapping her from her relief filled moment and dragging her back to this stone-cold reality. She took a moment to filter through what was going on, did he live here? He was speaking about their past as though it was present. Her thoughts continued to link up and connect in order to conclude what was happening but her brain ceased working immediately upon feeling his hand rubbing her back gently. Stepping closer, his lips grazed her neck on the opposite site to where Noah's head rested. Squeezing her eyes closed tight she tensed every muscle in her body in an attempt to stop herself from pulling away and angering him.

"Maybe, we should eat?" The sound of her own petrified voice scared her, his mouth disconnected from her neck and she felt an utter sense of relief.

"You're right." He smiled, snaking his arms around her waist from behind. "Before it goes cold, come on." Releasing her from his grasp he started walking towards another room as her blood ran cold. She stood motionless with Noah, unable to move.

They were living in his dream and trapped in her nightmare.


	34. Chapter 34

***Thanks so much to those who read and reviewed the last chapter! I hope you're still enjoying? Let me know what you think! XX***

 _Was this it? Has his mind completely snapped? She reluctantly let him guide her downstairs where indeed there was a lit fire accompanied by dozens of candles all over the place for lighting. The stair case was grande, however they were old, creaky and covered with layers of dust, cobwebs and junk. This was nobody's home, it was an abandoned house. She'd recognised the garden when she looked out of the window upstairs. She remained silent as he took them on a path through all of the destroyed furniture, the walls covered in graffiti and grime. Her eyes landed on his carry seat, the relief almost causing her to deflate as they entered what she could only assume was once a nice living room._

 _"See, he's having a sleep too. He could sleep through my noisy kitchen antics but I knew you couldn't." He laughed heartily but she'd tuned him out completely as she made a bee-line for a sleeping Noah._

 _"Oh, come here baby." She whispered with a slight sob, lifting him out of his chair before clutching his warm little body to hers, swaying him gently. She covered his head with one hand, the other supporting his bum as he nestled his face into her neck. He was fine and judging by the empty bottle on the table, he'd been fed too. She kept her back to Michael, her mind absolutely wild with thoughts. What the hell was happening?_

 _"I've burped him and changed him." He spoke proudly, snapping her from her relief filled moment and dragging her back to this stone-cold reality. She took a moment to filter through what was going on, did he live here? He was speaking about their past as though it was present. Her thoughts continued to link up and connect in order to conclude what was happening but her brain ceased working immediately upon feeling his hand rubbing her back gently. Stepping closer, his lips grazed her neck on the opposite site to where Noah's head rested. Squeezing her eyes closed tight she tensed every muscle in her body in an attempt to stop herself from pulling away and angering him._

 _"Maybe, we should eat?" The sound of her own petrified voice scared her, his mouth disconnected from her neck and she felt an utter sense of relief._

 _"You're right." He smiled, snaking his arms around her waist from behind. "Before it goes cold, come on." Releasing her from his grasp he started walking towards another room as her blood ran cold. She stood motionless with Noah, unable to move._

 _They were living in his dream and trapped in her nightmare._

* * *

Not in any kind of mood for enjoying a takeout, she prodded and poked at the food before her. Noah still embraced in her free arm, he was cradled nicely. Her only comforting thought was that he was completely oblivious to all of this chaos.

"You've hardly touched your food." He commented and her eyes darted up at him nervously. "Don't you like it?"

"No, no." Stumbling on her sentence she tried to keep it together. "Of course I do, I'm just not hungry, that's all."

"Save it for later if you like?" He looked around the room, there were no kitchen appliances. "I forgot to get dessert." There was a small pause whilst he thought and she could physically see him thinking. She so desperately wanted to scream and yell at him the way Connie Beauchamp would normally tackle this situation but he was unstable, unhinged and dangerous. Had it been just her trapped in this rancid old house with him she'd have no qualms in reacting that way but Noah was with her and there was not a chance in hell she was risking his safety. So, for now she just had to play along with his delusions. In between the exchanges of small sentences she would glance around the room carefully, attempting to note any possible exit points. So far she'd had no luck but his most recent words spoken sparked an idea.

"Perhaps I will." She forced a smile, placing her fork down before readjusting Noah in her arms. "I, uh, should probably go and change him."

"Change him?" Questioning quickly he moved his hand to his face in an exasperated manner. "Oh, God. I forgot the nappies." Her eyes scanned over his expression and body quickly, trying to determine how she should respond but she didn't have to. "Look, you stay here, I'll pop out and grab some essentials." Getting to his feet he rounded the table, grabbing her shoulder and leaning down to kiss the side of her head as he left. Her whole body became rigid but he was oblivious. He left her in the dank kitchen, Noah now fussing in her arms due to her tensed frame.

"Shhh." Shaken from her fearful trance, she looked down at him and rocked gently. The sound of the front door slamming shut along with some other loud noises were followed by the sound of his car leaving. When everything fell silent again she jumped to it. "Come on." She whispered softly, standing up with the tiny infant still held close to her. "We're getting out of here."

* * *

"Look, I really think we should call the police now." Greg exclaimed worriedly, there was still no sign of any of them and Sam was becoming more and more irate with Anna. "They've been gone for hours, who knows where they could be." His arms dropped, hanging by his sides helplessly. They'd driven to all of the locations that she'd suggested and still nothing.

"Im sorry-"

" _Sorry_ isn't good enough." Sam more or less bit her head off, silencing her immediately as a hopeless Greg watched on. He couldn't keep defending her, especially with how mad he was with her too. They'd searched for hours and finally re-grouped back at Greg's house. "I'm going back to mine, make sure he hasn't returned and then..." He trailed off with a fury tainted sigh. "Then I'll call the police." Pausing for only a mere second he began speaking loudly before anyone could interrupt him. "And I'm pointing them straight to _you_ when they arrive." The anger and resentment in his eyes made Anna shiver slightly, his finger still pointing at her accusingly. "If _anything_ happens to them-"

"It won't!" She interjected with a rush. "I promise you, he wouldn't hurt them-"

"Is this a joke to you?" He scoffed. "Do you not _know_ what he's already done to her?" Questioning aggressively he stepped towards her. "He _raped_ her! He _physically attacked_ her and for months now he's being stalking her every move like a shadow! She's been in a living hell because of this man! Because of _you!_ And you honestly want me to believe he won't hurt her? And at your _promise_?" He shook his head, his temper exploding. He couldn't keep a lid on it any longer. "Tell you what, Keep your cheap promises and your crocodile tears, I don't need them or want them." Giving her a look of disgust he finished his piece and began to head for the door before halting to get one last statement in, regardless of her pathetic sobs. "With any luck they'll lock you up too."

The drive back to his house was a blur. How could this be happening? He was kicking himself, if only he'd ignored her wishes and gone to the police to begin with. Maybe none of this would be happening? Hitting the steering wheel in a fury he wracked his brain for thoughts. Where the hell could she be?

Upon arriving and getting all the details, the police assured him they'd do all they could but that's what they always say, isn't it? The reassurance was supposed to help but it didn't. He told them _everything_ though, prompting them to act quickly with their full knowledge of the situation and how dangerous he was or could be in the presence of a woman and baby.

* * *

She didn't have long to act and her biggest query right now was whether to leave Noah seated in his carrier whilst she scoped out possible exits or whether to carry him with her. The first choice seemed safer, particularly since Michael was gone and she'd get a warning from the sound of his car as soon as he gets back. The building was so old she had no idea if it was safe to be carrying a newborn around in it.

"Okay." She cooed softly putting him into his seat and strapping him in, he was milk drunk and lethargic. "You stay here, mama's going to be right back, okay?" Keeping her voice to a gentle whisper she clicked the straps shut. She had to move quickly. Her first places to check were the front and back doors. Both were locked and barricaded, she figured that's what the loud noises were before. The locks were brand new and shiny in comparison to the aged wood of the house. He'd obviously had them fitted and had keys to lock her inside. "Shit." She licked her lips, her hands placed pensively on her hips as she tried to think hard and fast. "If I have to escape this dungeon through a window in _these_ shoes..." She trailed off, the designer Connie still lived within and even in such circumstances she could worry about her attire. "Heads will roll." Dashing to the windows she checked them all in a hurry, had the panes been larger she'd have no reserves about smashing them and leaving that way but they were those old hatched windows, if she smashed the glass she'd only be able to fit her arm through. Her mind halted, studying the window. "You open outwards." Mumbling in a confused manner she ran her fingers along the edge of the window a thought forming quickly. She spun around, scanning the room for a large heavy object when half a crumbled brick caught her eye. "Bingo." without hesitation she grabbed it and returned to the window, mentally counting to three before hurling the red, dusty brick through the glass. She shielded herself upon impact and turned to look at Noah, he was undisturbed from his sleep miraculously. Removing her jacket speedily she wrapped it around her fist and broke off the remaining shards before sticking her hand out of the hole, she couldn't see obviously but she felt around frantically for a latch. "Come on." She pleaded becoming panicked but her heart almost skipped a beat from pure joy when her fingers caught on it. "Yes!" Fiddling at it for a second or so she managed to open it from the outside, quickly pulling her arm back in and dropping her jacket to use all her force and open the old window. There was a great deal of cracking and splintering sounds but it eventually came loose, a wide enough gap to slide through, minus Noah's seat but that could be left behind with no issue. Propping it open she grabbed her jacket and flapped it about roughly, discarding of any glass shards. It was clean of any broken glass. Heading back over to Noah, she felt a twinge of guilt niggling at her as she woke him up to remove him, he twined for only a moment but soon became quiet once she wrapped him securely in her jacket.

Before the any sound registered with her eyes, the flash of his car headlights illuminated the room for a split second. He was back already. Not even caring anymore she flicked her Louboutins off, her shoes would have to be sacrificed to get out of here quickly. She had no idea how she was going to do this but luckily the height of the window was extremely low, meaning there was no high drop on the other side, it was just a case of clutching Noah to her body as securely as possible and squeezing through the gap. Then, once out she'd head for the main road. Of course, this wasn't going to go as planned though. When did anything in her life at the moment go as planned? As she was halfway out, he entered the house and his eyes were immediately drawn to her in the window. He turned around to leave with such speed that she felt her heart drop into her stomach, her body was kicked into overdrive at the sound of him running on the schiller behind her, the adrenaline taking over instantly. She couldn't run the intended way but didn't have time to think, holding Noah to herself tightly she set off running towards the back garden, her bare feet feeling the pain of the sharp tiny stones beneath her. She didn't stand a chance in hell. The path before her lit up again momentarily but this wasn't all white headlight, the blue and red flashes made her mind go blank. A warm comfort rushing through her brain like a wave of cool water. It was the police.

Their timing was immense, his hand had just clamped on to her shoulder forcefully stopping her movements and shoving her into the side of the house. Her back hit the rotting wood with enough force to knock the wind out of her, Noah was so protected by her arms she at least had the comfort of knowing he was okay. As soon as he'd pinned her up against the wall, he found himself being tackled to the ground with the strength of three men. It was almost as if it was all happening in slow motion to her. Watching Michael flailing around on the ground beneath the officers, the relief she felt was unmatched. It was over. Breathing heavily, she glanced down at Noah, checking him over and ignoring her own injuries. He was unscathed and barely bothered by the event.

"Connie!" His voice grew louder as he approached with speed, his shoes on the schiller becoming more distinct upon reaching her. "Connie." He gushed. "Are you okay?" His question was urgent and panicked, matching the look on his face. She had a gash on her head that she had no idea how she'd sustained and she looked completely zoned out.

"I'm fine." The dryness of her mouth and throat suffocated her words, glancing up at him she blinked slowly, the tears were balanced on her bottom lids but they weren't going to fall.

"And Noah?" He put his hand on her shoulder, using his other one to peel back the jacket he was wrapped in, he looked fine. "There's a medic parked out the front, you both need to get checked over." Before he could guide her in that direction, the utter relief hit her hard as she watched Michael being escorted away. The emotions were too strong to contain. Sam already knew what was happening and embraced her firmly, being careful not to smother Noah between them. "It's okay, it's over." He whispered soothingly, his left arm wrapped around her lower back and the right one higher up as he caressed the back of her neck with his thumb softly. Her body was shuddering with the tears.

"Is everything okay?" An officer approached them cautiously, concerned for both Mother and baby.

"They're fine, thank you." Sam offered him a small, grateful smile as he continued to comfort her.


	35. Chapter 35

***Thanks again to those of you who left reviews on the previous post, it means a lot! I hope you enjoy this FINAL chapter! I can't believe my first ever fic is over! And with a completely unexpected amount of followers and almost 400 reviews, I am so shocked and so thankful, I love writing so being able to share this with fellow Casualty fans has been a joy. I hope this is a satisfying ending for you although it's insanely short! I didn't want to make it too long or introduce any more chaos so keeping it short and sweet seemed like the best option. I mean, who knows, there could always be a part two if people are wanting more. ;) XX***

 _"Connie!" His voice grew louder as he approached with speed, his shoes on the schiller becoming more distinct upon reaching her. "Connie." He gushed. "Are you okay?" His question was urgent and panicked, matching the look on his face. She had a gash on her head that she had no idea how she'd sustained and she looked completely zoned out._

 _"I'm fine." The dryness of her mouth and throat suffocated her words, glancing up at him she blinked slowly, the tears were balanced on her bottom lids but they weren't going to fall._

 _"And Noah?" He put his hand on her shoulder, using his other one to peel back the jacket he was wrapped in, he looked fine. "There's a medic parked out the front, you both need to get checked over." Before he could guide her in that direction, the utter relief hit her hard as she watched Michael being escorted away. The emotions were too strong to contain. Sam already knew what was happening and embraced her firmly, being careful not to smother Noah between them. "It's okay, it's over." He whispered soothingly, his left arm wrapped around her lower back and the right one higher up as he caressed the back of her neck with his thumb softly. Her body was shuddering with the tears._

 _"Is everything okay?" An officer approached them cautiously, concerned for both Mother and baby._

 _"They're fine, thank you." Sam offered him a small, grateful smile as he continued to comfort her._

He couldn't let her out of his sight. The past few hours had been a torture he'd never known before and never wanted to experience again. The relief he felt as he witnessed Michael being shoved roughly into the back of the police car was unmatched and mirrored Connie's emotions too. Shifting on his feet, the schiller crunched under his shoes as he returned his attention back to Connie, the medics were tending to the gash on her head whilst Iain checked over Noah. Other than the obvious wounds she was presenting, both seemed unharmed. It was a strange sight to take in, although she'd been to hell and back he could almost visibly see she was relaxed for the first time in a long time.

"Is he okay?" She croaked, turning to look at Noah.

"Yeah, he's all in tact." Iain smiled back at her. "He's tougher than he looks this little one." Picking him up gently he handed him back to Connie before stepping out of the back of the ambulance and moving towards Sam. "They're both fine, she's a little shaken up but we don't need to take 'em in, probably best you just get the home and settled."

"Thanks Iain." His words and body language were entirely genuine and grateful, their exchange was short but meaningful.

* * *

Over the next few weeks, she showed improvement after improvement after improvement. Sam couldn't believe it. Her resilience was something he'd never encountered in another human before, she really was one of the strongest people he'd ever met. Noah was now nearing eight weeks old and was getting bigger by the day it seemed, Grace was flourishing at school and in less than three weeks Connie was to make her return to work. Sam had tried to delay it but Connie was back to her stubborn self and insisted on the date she'd chosen, although he was worried he couldn't help but feel happy that she was returning to her usual self. This morning was no different.

"Grace, I will _not_ tell you again." She sighed, using her heeled foot to slide Grace's school bag out of the corridor. With Noah in her arms almost one hundred percent of the time, she'd lost count of how many near miss trips she'd had. "There are _hooks_ for your bag, please _use_ them."

"What?" Her bellowed yell flowed down the stairs slightly melodically but Connie couldn't be bothered to repeat herself, she merely looked at Sam defeatedly. His smirk drew a glare from her as she readjusted Noah in her arms.

"She gets that from you."

"Me?" He laughed. "I think you'll find her stubbornness might actually be one of your traits she's inherited." He followed her into the kitchen.

"I wasn't talking about her stubbornness, I was referring to her inability to listen to instructions. Just like her Father." The latter of her sentence was warped as she used her teeth to tear off Noah's bottle lid. Their communication regarding Noah and his care was mostly done without words and through actions, she stepped towards him motioning for him to take the small infant and he did so without question allowing her to make up his bottle.

"Perhaps." He pondered for a moment, staring down at the content baby in his hold. "Maybe I'll give you that one, I'm not one for instructions."

"I know." She stated matter of factly, she'd had experience in that for years when he was her registrar. She couldn't help but smile warmly at the sight before her, immediately distracted from where the conversation was initially going. "He has a check up this afternoon." She started apprehensively. "Will you-"

"I'll be there." He never even let her have to ask, he wasn't the Father of this baby biologically but in theory and practice he was stepping up to the role with purpose. He sensed the relief radiating from her. "I do have to go no though." He winced, glancing at the clock before handing him back to Connie. "I can drop Grace on the way." Shrugging his suit jacket on he leant forward and kissed her softly, much to Grace's disgust.

"Can you two get a room?" They separated slowly, a shy smile gracing Connie's face as Sam rolled his eyes.

"Right, come on, we're going." He turned to face her again in the doorway. "I'll see you this afternoon."

"Bye Mum!" Grace called out from the doorway sweetly. Moments later she was left basking in the peace.

That's when she felt it, the comfort of family, the love she'd been missing from a man and the relief of finally living life again.

She was going to be okay. _They_ were going to be okay.


End file.
